Me, myself and I
by err404NameNotFound
Summary: Adeline Martel finally got what she always wanted: the lead role! And not just any lead role, but the lead role in her own li- uhm, unlife. Once you go dead, you never go back! And as it is tradition for newborn unattended fledglings, she'll naturally turn the whole city of angels upsite down. If only her father was here to see it, he'd be so proud...
1. Prologue: A deadly night

**Prologue: A deadly night**

* * *

 _Warning: This fanfic will also contain slightly sexual themes, apart from violence. For some reason people seem to be more uncomfortable with that, so I thought it'd be better to mention it._

* * *

I take another look at the bar from my seat next to the bar counter, while finishing my second beer. I like this place. Something about this place feels so cozy. The walls and ceiling are plastered with posters of various bands and the floor is cramped with small tables, stools and a few old couches next to the walls. I'd like to sit on one of the couches, but I'm here on my own, so occupying a whole couch for myself would be selfish. Pity, the couches are really comfy… My next beer arrives, and I immediately chug it down, despite my low alcohol tolerance.

"Here to drown your sorrows?", a low-sounding voice asks me. I turn to the source of the voice, surprised that someone would approach me. I'm used to being ignored or overseen by most people. "It was a long day…", I reply evasively. I won't share my shallow sorrows with some stranger. I haven't fallen so low, at least not yet.  
I take a closer look towards the stranger. More surprising than his approach was definitely his outfit: he wears a white top hat and a white leather coat with white jeans. Additionally, he also wears a long necklace with a big white cross. However, what he doesn't wear, is a t-shirt. Oh, and half of his face is painted in white, a contrast to his dark brown skin.  
I smirk. "Baron Samedi?", I ask him. His eyes widen in surprise at my question and he giggles cheerfully. "You get it! No one ever gets it… But you did."  
I can't help but snigger as well. The alcohol slowly starts to get to me, and his laugh is kind of infectious. "Does no one watch James Bond Movies anymore?", I comment his remark about no one understanding his costume. "Apparently. Well, their loss, not ours." He winks at me, and I blush slightly.  
He's weird, but weird is interesting… I turn away from him and order another beer to hide my shyness. My beer arrives, and he suddenly leans towards me and whispers in my ear, "Why don't we set up our camp on one of these couches? We can devise a strategy for selling cookies, while snuggling together, in order to keep the cold away…" I stiffen up due to the sudden closeness, but force myself to relax.  
What is he talking about? I take a look at the room. All couches are already occupied; the bar is buzzling with people after all. He smirks at my skeptical expression. "Don't worry, everyone can become a girl scout." I don't think that males can become girl scouts. They would be called boy scouts, wouldn't they?  
I hesitate, before following him towards a couch in a corner of the bar. I mean, this is what not-uptight people do right? Sitting next to strangers and stuff…  
I promised myself to be less prudish, like Johnny always wanted me to be. Even though Johnny is an asshole.

A pair is already sitting on the couch and passionately making out. "Your little love nest has been discovered. You should find another!", my mysterious stranger suggests to the pair. They look up in surprise, and suddenly embarrassed about being seen kissing, they grab their things and flee with pink cheeks. I start to giggle. What's up with them? "A long day calls for a long night!", he comments, while leading me to the couch to sit down.  
"So… enlighten me on how to best sell your cookies?", I ask him with a giggle, after taking another sip. Dammit, I'm already drunk. He smirks at me and casually drops an arm around my shoulder, while leaning towards me and purring, "You need to add a lot of sugar. Want me to show you how sweet they can be?" Before I can react to the sudden intimacy, he starts kissing my lips. I stiffen up again, but I'm growing soft from his sweet kiss and let him move my legs over his, thereby placing me on his lap. This is so unlike me. Seems as if the alcohol is working. His lips wander away from mine and towards my neck, where he continues to leave a trail of kisses downwards. Ah, it's funny how much I enjoy this, instead of being scared by the sudden intimacy. Even though he's a stranger… I guess alcohol really was the answer to my problem all along. He stops a few inches from my collarbone and starts gently sucking. I feel a sharp pain for a short moment, but then the feeling of ecstasy washes over my body, suppressing the pain. He has tightened his embrace and continues sucking on my neck, while I absorb myself in the pleasure.  
Come to think of it, I don't even know his name.

I groan and massage my temples, while slowly opening my eyes. Gosh, I shouldn't have drunken so much yesterday, my headache is killing me! Wait…  
I sit up. Where the fuck am I? Why am I in some crappy run-down apartment room? "Up already, honey-pie?", a seductive voice asks me. I turn to the white-coated weirdo at the door. I haven't noticed him before… Did we? NO! Impossible… It couldn't be, right? I mean, I wanted to be less prudish, but not this much!  
"Uh, did we… what happened?", I ask him, while desperately trying to push down my panic. The last thing I remember is him kissing my neck. I usually wouldn't do it with a guy I literally just met. Heck, I wouldn't even do it with a guy I've just started dating. I don't even know his name!  
"Many things happened, but who cares? Let's indulge in the now instead." What kind of answer is that? I glance at the clock, beside my night stand. It's already around 3 am. Let's simply head home and don't think about what may or may not have happened tonight.  
"Thanks for the offer, but I think I should head home, it's already late…", I reply, while standing up and searching for my trousers. Oh my gosh, I'm only wearing underwear. I may not know, how far we went, but it's clear, that we went way too far for my taste. I have to get out of here!  
"Why not stay? We can play some more, my little cookie. I even got permission to show you something extraordinary! You're absolutely going to love it!", he purrs, while approaching me. His long fingers gently raise my chin and his hypnotizing eyes capture me. One of his eyes is dark brown, while the other is more golden.  
I didn't notice before, but his eyes are strangely beautiful. "Alright.", I hear myself answering him. I feel like in trance, as he caresses my back, smoothly opens my bra and gently kisses my bare chest.  
Then he suddenly grabs me and jumps on the bed with me, nestling me into his lap. "I want to show you something… And this time no sleepy-sleepy!", he whispers in my ear, before softly raising my chin a bit with his fingers. He grins at me, thereby exposing his teeth… his unnaturally long and sharp teeth… Are those fangs?!  
I shriek, as he drills his fangs into the soft flesh of my exposed neck and starts violently sucking my fucking blood. I try to free myself out of his embrace, but he just tightens his grab a bit, continuing to lap up my blood as if it were some goddamn chocolate sauce or something. Fuck, this hurts! Oh my gosh, will I die?  
I don't want to! I feel weaker by the second, with my blood gushing into the mouth of this fucking monster. I try to struggle again, but to no avail.  
My strength is no match to his to begin with, and in addition my body is growing heavier with every sip of blood he takes from me. I whimper from the pain, which seems to turn him on, as he stops for a moment and faces me with a smile. "Ah, so sweet.", he sighs, licks a tear off my cheek, and gives me a short kiss, before he continues draining me. Disgust washes over me from being kissed by this fanged beast, and from the taste of my own blood, which he left on my lips.  
My fear for my slowly approaching death naturally overrules my disgust though. "Pl- Please don't k- kill me, Mr. monster!", I beg him desperately, but he just chuckles. My conscience starts to fizzle out, as he finally stops devouring my blood.  
'What now?', I wonder, while he gently lies me down and bends over me. My sight is blurred and I feel too weak to move, therefore I'm forced to watch helplessly, as he scratches his own neck with his fingernail, thereby making it bleed. What the fuck is he doing? Suddenly he leans closer to me, causing the blood to drip on my lips. Ugh, disgusting! "Drink.", he commands me cheerfully. …Like hell I would! Stay away with your disgusting monster-blood! But I don't have enough strength to express my refusal, and even if I could, he would certainly ignore it. A bit impatient with my lack of cooperation, he grabs my head towards his wound and forces my mouth open, letting his blood drip into it. A metallic taste fills my mouth, but it soon turns into something sweeter… Holy-molly, this tastes like the finest ambrosia!  
Unable to suppress my thirst for his not-so-disgusting-anymore monster-blood, I grab his neck and start to wildly suck on the wound. What the hell am I doing?  
Suddenly I notice a quiet whispering, first just a word, then more and more, until the whispering surrounds me like the sound of a steady drum. Are we not alone? "There, there, good baby. Quench thy thirst!", he purrs, thereby distracting me from the whispering, while rubbing his lower-region against mine.  
He obviously enjoys this, this sick psycho! Though I can't deny, that I enjoy drinking his goddamn blood as well… What the hell is wrong with me?  
"The sweet juice has been exchanged.", he remarks with a smile, while withdrawing his neck without much effort and his small wound suddenly heals itself within a second. He grabs me beneath my armpits and leans my head on his shoulder, while patting my back. …does he want me to burp? Like a baby?  
Suddenly a hot pain starts to spread from my neck wound, until my whole body feels like burning, and I start to scream and dig my nails into his back.  
He calmly removes my hands from him and lies me back on the bed, but I'm unable to bestow this any attention, as the fiery pain dominates my whole consciousness, slowly devouring my body, until I finally pass out.


	2. Reckless abandonement is a crime!

**Chapter 1: Reckless abandonement is a crime!**

* * *

 _Blow out the lights, the show is about to begin._

 _Kuhahahaha! AHahaha! Ah! Ah! AAAH!_

 _Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are._

 _The puppets of the sun are drawing near. The father kills the child to hide its body._

Various voices pop up all around me, some sounding familiar, others sounding strange. They pull back my consciousness and force me awake. With my consciousness, fragments of my memories also slowly return. Wait, am I dead?! _Neither dead, nor alive, my child._ What? Who are you? How can you read my mind?! _I am you, you are me, we are many._ I try to open my eyes and look at the person, but my body doesn't listen to me. Panic is rolling over me, washing over my whole consciousness and I start to scream – but not a single sound is escaping my throat. ' _Hush, hush, no need to panic. Just let me take the wheel, I can steer our body for you.'_ , a sweet voice whispers into my ears. This voice is one of the familiar voices, one that sounds especially comforting... I unconsciously start to relax.

Our eyes open and the smile of father Samedi is greeting us. My inner voices grow excited, upon seeing him. He is our dear father, they mostly like him, of course, except for one. She is still afraid of him, dwelling too much on the memory of our birth. Such a foolish voice. Though I'm still as fresh as morning dew, every baby naturally knows how to love its parent, no? After all, even tigers protect their cubs. Yes, so long as I'm with him, we should be safe.  
Father suddenly stopped smiling and picks up a small wooden stick. Eh, what are you going to do with it? WA, WAIT!  
I tried to dodge, but before I could react, the wooden stick already penetrated my chest, freezing all my movements. My eyes are still opened wide and still can see his face, but my body won't move anymore. Father casually puts my bra back on, thereby hiding the small wooden stick in my heart. Then he shifts the position of my body on the bed a few times, replacing my arms and legs, until he is finally satisfied. The voices are curious, as to what he is trying to do, and so am I, but I doubt he will provide an explanation. Father turned my face to the side, towards the door, but I can still feel him staring at me. Am I… a piece of art? And he is thinking on how to complete this masterpiece? No way, I don't want to be a lifeless piece of art! Ah, but father can't hear my refusal. He suddenly grabs a mask and puts it on my face.  
I can't see what kind of mask it is, but it covers my whole face. Oh no. As I feared, the purpose of my new life seems to be posing as a piece of art.  
My thoughts get interrupted, when the door suddenly flings open, and dark clothed people pour in, holding crossbows and swords.  
It doesn't take a genius to understand the situation: they must be looking for a medieval convention.  
Well, this is definitely not the right place to hold one, those fools… The guys with the crossbows immediately aim it at father and try to shoot him. He manages to dodge one, but the next hits him right in the heart. Uh, that, uh… that's not good. Some of the intruders are holding their heads and moan in pain, but who cares, father is frozen! "Let's take it with us, it might provide us with information.", one of the guys orders the others, as they approach father.  
Since I still can't move, I'm forced to helplessly watch as those fiends drag my daddy away. One of them approaches me. Oh no, will they take me as well?  
I don't want to play with mean guys like them! He grabs my wrist, which is falling from the bed, and holds it for a moment before releasing it. "Too late. She's dead.", he informs the others. Is… is he pitying me?! I don't want your pity, you son of a platypus!  
"Just leave her there, we have to get going.", the commander of the fiends replies. A moment later, the room is empty and not a sign of what happened before is left. Wow. Just wow. Right after being born, this happens?! This is a lot to stomach… But I have the time to do so. Since I'm still frozen.  
Great. Just great. Why does this always happen to me?

Having nothing else to do, I started playing 'I spy with my little eye' with the other voices. _Is it the condom package on the floor?_ No. Wait, why is there an opened condom package? _Is it the handcuffs?_ Nope. _One of the kitchen knives in the flower pot?_ Yes! Ok, your turn. _I spy with my little eye something dark and scary…_ _  
_Suddenly the door opens, and a man clad in a long coat enters. He looks mysterious, like some kind of mage or something. 'Is it him?', I ask my inner voice.  
' _Yes…_ ', it answers, disappointed that I found it with my first guess.  
The man gazes around the room, his eyes lingering on my body. He moves towards me, halting his steps less than a meter in front of my unmoving body. I can't see his face, since my field of vision is too low, but I can tell, that he is observing me. Finally, he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder, grabs some clothes from the floor and heads out. First, my face is facing his long coat. Then, I'm facing the door of the car, in which he threw me. And lastly, I'm facing his coat again.

"Good evening, fellow kindred. First, I'd like to thank you all for taking your time and attending this gathering. Well then, without any further ado, this court hearing is officially started. For the first case, I summon Henchman as a witness." My carrier suddenly starts moving again, closer to the voice of this fancy intro.  
I wonder, why I'm brought to the set of this play? Maybe they need me as a prop? I'm fabulous at playing trees! By playing a tree, I singlehandedly saved the show in Elementary. Without me dramatically puking tree resin when the troll shopped me down, the play would have been boring!  
"My apologies, prince, but Henchman couldn't be found unfortunately. But I found her instead.", dark mage delivers his lines, as he places me down in a kneeling position. I'd like to watch the reaction of the crowd, but my face is facing the floor in front of me right now, unfortunately.  
The fingers of the dark mage are grazing my back and he opens my bra with a snap. I can feel the countless eyes watching me. Whisper erupts in these theater halls,  
I guess the crowd also doesn't know what to make of this play.  
I can feel his fingers again, this time stroking down between my cupcakes, finding the small stub of wood over my heart, and swiftly pulling the stick out.  
Finally being able to move again, I leisurely stretch myself. "This is?", the voice from before asks. I turn towards its source, a young-looking man with blond hair and blue eyes, wearing an expensive suit. "Henchman's Childe, I presume.", the dark mage replies. "Ah, yes, he had received permission to sire a Childe last night. But to think he would be so fast in doing so… Tell me, Childe, where is your Sire?" My gaze wanders over the crowd in front of me and towards the blond suit.  
I'd also liked to know that. To abandone a newborn baby just to play with some medieval freaks, how cruel!  
"The father was stolen by the medieval convention.", I explain to him. "Medieval convention?", he asks again. I nod. "Yes, the one with crossbows and swords. They stole him from me, while I was frozen due to Daddy's little prank." "I see. So, Henchman fell victim to hunters. Truly unfortunate. In that case, I will proceed to the second case. Mr. Galliano, please lead the Childe towards a seat. I will deal with the Childe later." The blond suit seems a tad disappointed and… angry?  
Maybe he also hates medieval conventions?  
After taking a seat, I close the bra, which has been loosely hanging on my shoulders since dark mage opened it, and take of the mask. It's a neutral white one, how boring. Dark mage returns to the stage, after dropping the clothes from father's room in front of me, and continues participating in the play. The clothes seem to be a cheerleader uniform, consisting of a short top and skirt in dark blue and white. I praise the dark mage's taste in my thoughts, while putting the clothes on. The top is a bit tight around my cupcakes, but apart from that, the clothes fit perfectly.

The play has a judicial setting; witnesses are called and criminals are punished. Most of the cases are about breaches against the Masquerade or something.  
To be honest, it's quite boring. I considered filing two complaints to the court. One complaint about father recklessly abandoning me, and one for this court play being recklessly boring. I mean, what will they do, if they bore someone to death? But my boredom isn't the only thing torturing me. My throat also started burning like hell for some reason.  
The play finally comes to an end and dark mage approaches me to lead me back to the blond suit. "Pleasure to meet you, Childe. I'm Henry Valois, the prince of this domain.", dolphin prince greets me politely. I do a curtsey, lifting the invisible hem of my dress, and greet him back, "Pleasure to meet you, prince of dolphins. This one hasn't been named yet." I forgot the name I had, before Daddy embraced me, but I have no need for it anymore anyways. Dolphin prince glances at me a bit weirdly. _  
_ _An annoying task in exchange for a walking billboard. Not a bad exchange for the business fish-imitator._ _  
_"What happened to your Sire is a tragedy, my condolences. However, rest assured, the Camarilla will take care of you.", he comforts me with a compassionate smile. "Okey-dokey, dolphin prince.", I reply, not caring much about his words. The burning in my throat is growing stronger and stronger, leaving no place for thoughts of my dear father. "Please call me Prince Valois, and not dolphin prince. I don't know how you came up with that weird nickname, and it's not my concern anyways. Also, I hope you will remember your name soon, fledgling, or at least find yourself a nickname you like. I'd like to be able to properly address you.", he scolds me a bit sternly. "Well, at least you still possess some manners, that is rare for Malkavians, unfortunately. Now follow me, I'd like to introduce you to someone.", he adds.  
Behind the stage waits a woman for us, who looks around forty to fifty years old, with a silver-brown hair bun and glasses. She has grey eyes and wears a red pencil skirt and jacket with a white blouse. "Greetings prince, newborn. You wanted to talk to me, prince?", the lady inquires. "Yes, thank you for taking your time. Fledgling, this is Ingrid Graufuchs, the Malkavian primogen of L.A.", dolphin prince introduces me to her. Suddenly the voices grow louder, surrounding me with their noise.

 _One of us! One of us! One of us!_

 _What does the fox say? Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringding…_

 _Shouldn't have skinned the fox, really shouldn't have_

 _Mistress of the labyrinth_

 _Shattered minds can't be taped_

 _Treacherous trees will be burned, evil barbers will be shaved_

… _Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow…_

"Greetings, fox lady. Our names are sold out, but we will gift you one, as soon as we find one.", I greet her as well, doing another curtsey, while trying to ignore the roaring voices. Dolphin prince clears his throat, before turning to the fox lady, "Ms. Graufuchs, you're the most experienced with taking care of other Malkavians, certainly you could take in this Childe?" The fox lady smiles sweetly at the prince, while rejecting his request, "No can do. My institution has no vacancies; we're jammed as it is. Someone like her needs special attention, which I can't spare for her at the moment. You'll need to find another babysitter, prince."  
The voices in my head start to laugh madly at her strict refusal of the princely proposal and I must bite my lips, to keep myself from laughing out loud as well.  
The princely dolphin is visibly upset at not being able to push me off to someone else, however, he doesn't try to persuade the fox lady any further.  
"I see. I will find another place for her to stay then. But I hope, you will still find the time to instruct her into what being a Malkavian means."  
The last part sounds like an order. "Certainly. She may visit my office from time to time, however at the moment she doesn't even know, what she is, nevermind teaching her how to deal with her madness, she needs to learn the basics about her new existence first."  
We bid goodbye and I follow dolphin prince towards the exit of the theater.

He seems to be in a slightly bad mood, probably because he couldn't get rid of me. "I take it, that your Sire hasn't instructed you in the ways of our society yet?", he hesitatingly inquires. Something seems to annoy the dolphin, but it couldn't be us, right? We're interesting after all.  
"He didn't gift me a single word, before being stolen away.", I reply innocently. "So… that means you don't know anything about the Camarilla? Or kindred? What did your Sire tell you before your embrace?", he probes further. I tilt my head. "He got permission, but permission for what? For summer-camp? Eating candy?", I reply honestly. Dolphin prince sighs. "He got permission for embracing you, for making you kindred. The kine would call us 'vampires'. You aren't human anymore, you are a creature of the night now.", he explains to me. "Do I get to choose the color of my cape? I want one with bats, that glow in the dark."  
"No. capes. Or any kind of flaunting your vampire nature. The kine are not allowed to know about us, which is why we don't show them powers. If they knew, they would hunt our kind, some already do. The Camarilla sets these rules up and upholds them, in order to protect us. If you don't abide by the rules, you'll have to die. Do you understand?" He looks at me sternly. _Just smile and nod, smile and nod._ I do, like the voice told me to, but that doesn't seem to satisfy the princely dolphin.  
"Now, let's start with teaching you how to feed, without announcing to the world, that you're a vampire. Have you drunk some blood yet?", he asks me.  
"I didn't get to taste the red juice yet. Apart from master's ambrosia.", I answer him obediently. His expression softens up a bit. "The first time is always the sweetest. I will treat you this time, as a courtesy of mine. You can learn the act of hunting another time. Ah, one thing before your first bite: don't kill unnecessarily. The beast now lurks in you, waiting to break out. Let it roam and you lose control over yourself. The more you let the beast run free, the less control you have over yourself." "The beast, yes. It has bearing its fangs for quite some time now. Growling in the dark, waiting to break free from its cage.", I respond seriously, while nodding.  
"I see. It's a good thing, that I'm looking out for you, you might frenzy.", he comments my remark dryly, while leading me towards a black limousine.

The driver gets out of the limousine and opens the portal towards the interior for us. Inside is a young blonde with a ponytail, sitting with her back next to the driver's seat. She wears a dark-grey skirt, black pumps and a shiny blue blouse, which emphasizes her eye color. "Ah, she smells wonderful!", I muse while bathing in her scent. "Mr. Valois… who is that?", the woman asks dolphin prince, sounding nervous and suspicious. "It's… my cute daughter, Wendy. You know her.", dolphin prince replies with a strangely smooth voice.  
 _We received our first name, guys! Who to give it to?_ _  
_ _Uh, uh, me!_ _  
_ _Yeah, give it to her, it fits her._ _  
_Suddenly the woman relaxes and greets me politely, "Good evening, Wendy. How was the play?" I shrug. "Boring. Didn't like it." I turn to the dolphin prince with pleading eyes. "May I eat her now?" He gestures me to proceed. "Hug me, please?" I open my arms and blondie, still in a daze, embraces me without hesitation.  
I stroke her back, while drilling my fangs in her soft neck and sucking on the sweet nectar. I can taste her feelings and small fragments of her memory in her blood; they're absolutely delicious. She faints with a soft moan, while I continue drinking her blood. "That's enough."  
Ah, but it isn't! This is too sweet; I can't stop.  
"Stop." Invisible chains suddenly force me to release her neck. Ah, pity. "She tastes absolutely wonderful", I sigh with a dreamy expression.  
"Indeed. I carefully nurture her, it's an honor for you to be allowed to drink from her. I usually don't share my food.", he proudly remarks. He's obviously pleased with my compliment though. I lick my lips and her neck, before carefully placing her back on her seat. Her wounds disappear after licking them, I must have a magical tongue. Neat.  
The car door opens, and a deathly shadow silently slides onto the seat next to blondie. The shadow of death has long, black, curly hair and is completely clad in black. He even wears a long black leather coat, completely fulfilling the cliché of being death. Only his cold grey eyes, and his light skin don't emit darkness. A shudder runs over my back. Meeting death once per night is enough for me, why must he visit me again? It couldn't be, that he fell for me? Being loved by death to death, poor me.  
"You successfully finished your task?", dolphin prince asks him. He nods shortly, before turning his gaze towards the window. I see. He's playing it cool. That's reassuring, since being courted by death would be too scary. Besides, courting death sounds like more fun. "Good. Back to our haven then."

Our ship starts to sail through the streets of Downtown and I use the opportunity for sightseeing.  
Lady night seems to be born anew as well, she seems livelier than she has been before my unlife. Women in short skirts sell love and comfort on the streets, and the ones without homes cuddle together, sharing their booze. Two guys exchange sky medicine in a dark alley and a nervous suit is waiting for the night bus. Pictures with people trapped inside, forcedly smiling while serving strange objects, plaster the streets. How wicked.  
I turn my gaze towards the dolphin prince. He's communicating with his dimension device via Morse code. I observe how his fingers swiftly tap over the keys, while his gaze is fixated on the mirror part of the dimension device. Our fingers also used to play this tap-dance for hours in our last life. This life seems so far away from my unlife now, even though it has been just a few hours. Nostalgia tries to wash over me, but I shake it off. No, this unlife is the better choice, I'm interesting now.  
Not a little bee, or a flower growing on a wall, but the leading role of this play, cheered on by the dark audience.  
Yes, I'm a cheerleader now.


	3. My scary babysitter

**Chapter 2: My scary babysitter**

* * *

We soon arrive at a large building scrapping the sky, and dolphin prince orders some goon, who has been waiting for him, to bring me to my room. I'm not allowed to leave that room until next night, for some reason. The room is located on a hidden floor underground, only reachable by using a special elevator, which on the other hand is hidden behind a door with the label 'Service department B'. To enter, one needs to type in a code into a display next to the door.  
So, this is a Bond-movie, as expected. The room assigned to me is small, there is only a small bed, a T.V. opposite to the bed, a small cupboard and a tiny bathroom with just a shower and a mirror.  
Now, how to spend the time left before sunrise? I decide to turn on the TV, since I have nothing else to do. No, don't call it **TV** , that's too ordinary. It's a magical mirror! The reflection of a suit appears in the magical mirror, and starts talking about some robbery or something. "Ah, boring!", I reproach the magical mirror.  
"Pardon?", the suit in the mirror answers. "I don't care about some small bank raid. Tell me something more interesting! Like, where's the family court? I'd like to sue my father for abandoning me.", I demand. "Sorry, no can do."  
"Then… how about a joke?", I ask while clapping my hands in excitement. I love jokes! "Alright. What is brown and smells like caramel?" I tilt my head in deep thought. "Caramel candy?", I ask. "A diabetic, who has been struck by lightning.", the suited man replies. I giggle. "Another, another!", I plead. "Ok, what kind of animal has five legs?" Oh, I know this one. "A puddlemudge!"  
"A pitbull on a children's playground." I snigger again, which causes the man in the mirror to give me a strange glance. "You didn't know this joke? Kid, this joke is older than my grandma.", he scolds me. "But I'm still a baby. It's only natural that I don't know much yet.", I pout. "That won't do kiddo. That excuse won't save your life, when the shit hits the fan.", he continues scolding me. I start to fidget, feeling guilty about my situation.  
"But what shall I do? I'm not allowed to leave the room…", I counter weakly. "Well, I'm here with you, am I not? I can show you what's going on, but you have to listen, kiddo, no more jokes!" I reluctantly agree and listen to the news he's telling me, until I fall asleep.

I get summoned to the throne room the next evening by the dolphin prince, and the same goon from the evening before leads me to the floor in the sky. The prince is standing at the window, gazing down on his empire and sipping on a wine glass filled with the liquid of the living. _The king ponders over his next move. The queen is waiting._ While ignoring the voices, I do a curtsey and greet him. I'm also hungry, but something tells me, that he won't break bread with me tonight. "There you are, fledgling. I have good news for you. Mr. Galliano, the kindred who found you, agreed to take care of you." Dolphin prince glances behind me. "Ah, there you are, Mr. Galliano." I turn around to see dark mage with his dark-brown curly hair and dark-brown eyes, wearing a black coat again, black pants and a maroon-colored shirt.

 _A bath, drenched in life. Careful, or it will swallow you._

 _Pity that the prince doesn't teach us, he has more influence._

 _The dark mage dyes his magic in blood._

 _Who's afraid of the black man? No one! But when he comes? Then we'll run!_

 _Will he play with us? But he looks scary, I don't want to play with him!_

"Greetings, neonate. I haven't introduced myself properly last night, I'm Alexander Galliano.", the man greets me, while reaching his hand out. I look down on the hand extended towards me. What am I supposed to do with his hand? I carefully grab his hand with both hands and shake it. Nothing happens. I let the hand down, feeling disappointed, before greeting him, "Good evening dark mage. We have received a name, but the proprietor is… busy." I can't tell him, that Wendy doesn't want to play with him. He might feel excluded and bullied. "She doesn't come out very often anyways.", I comfort him. "I see. Do you remember your human name? I could use that name for you, if you so wish. Or I could give you a name, if you want.", he proposes, while smiling at me gently.

 _He seems nice, I think he'll get along with us._

 _Well, he doesn't seem to mind our madness at least. It might be better to stay with him, until we learn how to behave normal, before approaching the prince again._

 _No, children should be afraid of the black man. We should run, like Wendy._

Whatever, back to the topic. Guys, what was my human name? My mind is a bit foggy…

 _We were a French smith, a noble one._

… I don't get it, sorry.

 _Adeline Martel, our name was Adeline Martel._

I snap out of my internal monologue, having finally remembered my name and respond to him with a smile, "Adeline Martel. Nice to meet you." The prince is already annoyed with me, for taking so long to remember my name, but Mr. Galliano waited patiently for my answer. "You certainly know how to interact with Malkavians, Mr. Galliano. I can feel assured, knowing, that you will take care of her.", dolphin prince politely remarks. "Malkavians are an interesting bunch, I don't mind taking care of one. Especially if I can serve the Camarilla by doing so." I grin upon hearing this. He is right, we ARE interesting. "Very well. Please don't forget to help her with her mortal business. Good evening." And with that, dolphin prince dismisses us, and I follow the dark mage to the elevator.

"Now, let's get you someone to feed on, I bet you're hungry.", the dark mage tells me, as we walk the streets of Downtown. I clap my hands, full of anticipation.  
"We hunger for the dark ambrosia, like the Irish hunger for potatoes!", I confess to him.  
 _Racist.  
_ Don't be such a stuck-up bitch, Bee. _  
_"Oh, I bet you do. So, here's that you must do: look for a human somewhere alone in a dark alley or something and simply bite him. As long no one sees you feeding on him or her, the Masquerade won't be broken. Your victim will be pleasurably paralyzed while being bitten and won't remember being assaulted by you after waking up from its slumber. You can also seduce someone and hide your bite as a kiss, if you can't find a lonely prey. If nothing works, you can still pay a hooker.", he explains to me. "Ah, and try not to kill your prey. You'll have to clean up after yourself otherwise, which is a pain in the ass.", he adds. That's the only reason for not killing kine? I don't mind a little cleaning. But where to hunt? Where could one find a lovely morsel? Oh, wait, I know!  
"Let's go hunting in the lustful gardens of the goddess.", I exclaim happily. "Right. I have no idea, where those 'gardens' could be.", he replies. I tilt my head.  
"I never visited these gardens as well. To find the gardens, we must find the goddess! Ah, sweet goddess, I can't wait to confess to her my hidden love of riding bicycles without wearing a helmet. The goddess favors bad-asses like us." The dark mage looks at me pensively. Suddenly his eyes start to shine. "Are you talking about the Confession club? The bartender is called Venus, if I recall correctly." I bounce up and down in my excitement. "The dark mage has visited her gardens before! Lead us to the sweet embrace of Euphrosyne, pretty please?", I plead.

The dark mage agrees to show us the goddess' godly gardens, and soon we arrive at a dark club, filled with loud music and dancing people.  
Ah, dark mage is so nice, why was I ever afraid of him? I scan the dance floor looking for suitable prey.  
My gaze falls upon a group of three girls drinking shots at a table close to the dance floor. One of the girls has black twin tails with red strains of hair and wears black-red, tight leggings with a fitting corset, which barely covers her chest. She drinks another shot, before staggering to the dance floor, and I take the chance to approach her, while swinging my hips to the beat. "Did you come here to indulge in dancing and drugs, goddess of glee?", I whisper in her ear, while dancing close to her.  
I say 'whisper', but it's more like shouting, since the music is so loud. "Wha? Whadday say? Did ya call me goddess jusnow?", she replies giggling.  
Her words look funny, causing me to smirk. "There is just one other goddess here, apart from you, but I'm not interested in her. You seem like more fun than her, and I prefer fun over love.", I continue flirting. My response earns me another giggle. "You're cuute, but I don't do gurls, ya know?"  
"It's an exceptionally wild night tonight, how about an exception for me? I can also be exceptionally wild.", I suggest seductively. "Wha? Oh, ok, hun. Ya lucky I wanna do somethin crazyy t'night.", she responds wobbling. Hey, I'm someone crazy! It's a perfect fit. "You won't regret!", I chirp, while tucking my arm into hers and dragging her to a corner of the cross-shaped dance floor. Everyone is on the dance floor, at the bar or at a table near to the dance floor, so we won't be disturbed here.  
I trap her between me, myself and the wall, by putting my hands next to her head and catch her chin with my other hand, in order to suck on her lips a bit, before my mouth wanders downwards, towards the delicious beating of her heart. I do enjoy the music in this club, but the music of a living heart is more enticing right now.  
But listening to its sound makes me even more thirsty. She moans slightly, as my fangs penetrate her neck.  
Her blood tastes funny, different to the blood of dolphin prince's secretary. I lick her wound after quenching my thirst and give her neck a last kiss, before I let her lean against the wall. I return to the dark mage, who didn't need as much time as I to satisfy his thirst. "Has your hunger been sated?", he politely inquires.  
"Ya. S'been superb. Kinda funny tashte, but alight.", I reply. For some reason my words keep tumbling over themselves, it's really weird. The dark mage raises a brow at me. "I wonder what the kine you drank from took, for you to get into that state." I chuckle. "Liquor filled with more liquor was the only liquor available for us.", I reply. At least that's what I wanted to say, but my words are still wobbling from Euphrosyne's funny blood. The dark mage seems annoyed at having even more problems with deciphering my words than before, but he doesn't scold me.  
Quite the model-parent, I'd say.

We leave the club and he drags me through the wobbling streets, until we stand in front of an old, battered shop, selling second hands. I wonder, why they don't sell first hands as well? The dark mage enters the shop through a back door, and I follow him like a good little lamb. A haggard man wearing a black washed out t-shirt halfheartedly greets us, but the dark mage ignores him, while I try to observe him more closely. My eyes cheekily refuse to show me the details of his appearance by making him blurry, but I manage to notice a black collar around his neck. Who would keep a scrawny human as a pet? There is nothing fluffy about him, he doesn't even have fur! I lean towards him and sniff on him. He smells like cigarettes and sweat. Only a monster would want such an un-cute pet.  
The pet takes a step away from me and mumbles something about staying away or something. The trembling makes it seem at least a bit cuter. I wonder what kind of monster its owner is. "Yo, you like gaaaaarlick, hm?", I interrogate it intimidatingly. It starts to tremble even more, when something suddenly hits my head.  
"Stop pestering him. Here, put this clothes on." I turn around to the person, who hit me. "It's a vam-pie-pet.", I retort, while trying to focus on the things the dark mages holds in his hands. Cheeky eyes, still daring to blur my view… "…A what? Ah, nevermind, I won't be able to understand a drugged Malk anyways. Seriously, why did you choose a junkie as your first prey? Don't you know how to use that chest of yours to attract a more suitable victim?", he scolds me. I pout and cross my arms.  
I did nothing wrong in choosing Euphrosyne as my prey! Birth should be celebrated with a drink, that's common sense.  
The dark mage completely ignores my reaction and thrusts the clothes he's been holding in my hands. "Wear that. The prince told me to get you more inconspicuous clothes. Well, your outfit does attract attention and that could be dangerous with all the hunters around." Ah, but I don't mind being an attention whore, I'm tired of avoiding the spotlight after all. I look at the clothes in my hands. Wait, aren't those… "No way in hell! No suits!"  
 _Ah, but I'd like to wear normal clothes again. What will people think of me, when they see me wearing a cheerleader outfit? So embarrassing… I hate standing out…  
_ "Shut up, Bee, no uniform of sky prisoners for us!", I reply to my inner voice. "I also think, that the cheerleader uniform suits you more, you're a Malk after all, but there have been a lot of hunters here lately. So just get over it, and choose something normal."  
Apparently, bunny-jumpsuits don't count as 'normal', and neither do Elvis Presley costumes. That aside, I don't even get what's wrong with my cheerleader-outfit in the first place. Cheerleaders die all the time in horror-movies, so how could they be considered abnormal in this play? I'm a bit disappointed, but I'm allowed to buy a simple, black goth dress. In combination with a white apron, it'll be perfect for this magical, antique feather duster that I found.

Afterwards we went to the hotel of the emperor, where we sat down in a lounge to talk. I'm not feeling wobbly anymore, so the dark mage deemed me not-out-of-my-mind enough for a serious conversation about vampire society, such as the clans and political parties. The Anarchs sound like fun, but my voices voted against telling the dark mage that. Apart from empress, we don't care about politics anyways and want to stay out of it. And even empress claims to actually hate politics, but deems it a necessary evil for survival to gain and maintain power.  
I'm nearly bored to second death, when a melodious voice interrupts the dark mage's lecture, "Good evening, Mr. Galliano, I didn't expect to meet you here. And in such lovely company. I wonder, what's her name?" I turn around to the young-looking woman with brown eyes and a brown, elegant hair bun. She wears an expensive dress and a sweet smile. I tilt my head in confusion. We have many names, which one does she want? "Adeline, this is Margret Harper. Ms. Harper, this is Adeline Martel, Henchman's Childe as you surely already know. Ms. Harper has a lot of influence in this city, I advise you to treat her with the appropriate respect."  
 _The palace is not a playground, Solitaire._  
The woman slides down on a chair with a slight chuckle. "A normal name. How unusual for a Malkavian. But then again, our Malkavian Primogen also has a normal name. So, tell me, are you as crazy as your maker, or just as crazy as Ms. Graufuchs?", she inquires curiously.  
 _Assessing the enemy's goods.  
The queen plans to expand her empire.  
_"I try my best at being crazy, but it's not easy listening to all those voices. They're so different, some want to cry, some want to laugh, some want to simply blow everything up and bathe in blood, how to satisfy them all?", I reply her honestly. "Yes, it must be quite tiring. For you as well, Mr. Galliano, the prince must be thankful for your help." The dark mage shrugs, while replying casually, "I do it for the Camarilla, not for the prince."  
His response seems to satisfy the Austrian queen of Spain. "You are always so supportive, Mr. Galliano. How admirable. Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, fledgling. Now, if you would excuse me, I still have business to take care of." The Austrian queen of Spain (or was it Spanish queen of Austria?) bids us goodbye and gracefully disappears.  
My eyes can't help but follow her every step. An elegant monster, how weird. "You should keep such comments for yourself, fledgling.", the dark mage advises me. Oopsy daisy, did I say that out loud? Such things keep happening to me, since it is so hard to distinguish between the many conversations I hold with myself and the ones I hold with others.  
"So… We hunted, we laughed, we danced, we pouted, we cried and we nearly got bored to death. When is it time for slaughtering?", I curiously ask the dark mage. "You cried?", he counter-asks me with a raised eyebrow. I shrug. "I saw an ad in that dimension device, but the sandman forbids me from buying anything…"  
The dark mage grins at me. I knew, that tears would make him happy. You're too cruel! "Anyways, as I just explained to you the rules, you should know, that you can't run around slaughtering people. Are you even able to fight? We don't age, but we're not immortal, as I already told you.", he reprimands me, after quickly hiding his grin. "I learned a bit Wǔshù in my past life.", I reply proudly. Before empress became empress, she was the daughter of a general.  
"Sure… Anyways, I don't have time for you anymore, go home and clear up your human past and then report back to me tomorrow.", the dark mage suddenly dismisses me. Confused at his sudden change, I go searching for a cab to take me home.


	4. Finally! My first mission

**Chapter 3: Finally! My first mission**

* * *

I silently stare at the man with dark hair and dark glasses through the rearview mirror. Something about him is scary and I already love him for that. I want to tap my foot to the music of his heart, but his heart makes no music. How disappointing. And trying to listen to his heartbeat made me kind of thirsty again. Truly disappointing. In order to distract myself from my thirst, I try to start a conversation with him, "So… you like driving cabs…"  
"Yes."  
"And wearing sunglasses at night."  
"Yes." Not exactly talkative, are we?  
"Any other hobbies?", I probe further. "I'm just a simple cab driver, driving people to their destination."  
And they call ME crazy, at least I'm not a cab driver out of passion.  
"Are we there yet?", I ask, still feeling bored. "No." I start to hum my favorite elevator music, in order to fight my boredom. "Are we there yet?", I ask again.  
"Yes." I look out of the window, the scenery outside is still moving. "Really?", I express my doubt. "No." I chuckle. He's scary AND has a sense for humor, in addition to being a mysterious weirdo. Truly the ideal man. "Wanna see my cheerleader uniform?", I ask him, while holding up the bag with my beloved costume.  
"No, thank you.", replies the mysterious cab-man. "Pity. I even would've allowed you to wear it, to cheer you up. Wearing it, always cheers me up."  
"Why does it cheer you up?", cab-man asks me. "Because I can feel the crowd cheering me on, while I play the lead role, whenever I wear it.", I answer him honestly. "Why don't you want to be the lead role?", I ask him, still wondering why he wouldn't want to wear my cheerleader costume.  
"That is a topic for another night. We arrived." I reluctantly give him some colored paper and bid him goodbye.  
I'm still thirsty, maybe I should visit some neighbor.

I try to persuade my fingers to start their tap dance, but they refuse to cooperate. It was hard enough to get the address of my former workplace out of the voices, but writing a resignation proves to be the real end-boss of clearing up my human past. Clearing my personal contacts on the other hand won't be difficult, my former half-brother surely wouldn't miss me, unless he would be too drunk to aim correctly, and my ex apparently got the friends from our break-up.  
At least I got the apartment, though I will probably move out soon enough.

 _ **Letter of Resignation**_

 _To whom it may concern,_

 _This slave won't be appearing before you anymore, since she has found a better sugar daddy._

 _Thank you for your attention._

 _Good morning and enjoy the sunrise!_

 _Lady Martel_

Well, my tone is a bit harsh, but I really hate the people at work, so it's appropriate. No, actually it's not brusque enough. I add a picture of a Hawaiian sunrise from a vacation agency to the letter. Ah, finally finished. And now? There is still time left, before the sunrise comes. I should prepare a place to sleep safely during the day. Such a pity, that I don't possess a coffin. How foolish of human-me not to buy one, after all everyone will need a coffin sooner or later. Well, I may not have a coffin, but what I DO have is a bath tub, which is close enough. I can fill it with water and play dead mermaid, I always wanted to play dead mermaid. I decide to take a bath, before falling asleep and fill the bathtub with water and washing agent for extra soft clothes. I change into the underwear for next night and play pirate in the bath tub with a fork. I'll have enough time to play dead mermaid, when I'm asleep.

 _According to some legends, there exists a monster in the deep, dark and cold ocean, waiting in ambush, until an unsuspecting ship sails across it. This monster has teeth longer than spears, its mouth is big enough to swallow whole ships, and its eight arms are strong enough to break even the hardest metal. Once it grabs you, there is no escape, and until this day not a single ship survived its vicious attack. Yes, there isn't a single true sailor, who doesn't fear the mighty… Octopussy!_ "Rawwww!", I roar, while raising from the depths of the bathtub, dramatically wrapping my tentacles around the non-existent ship. I really need some toys for my reverse-ship. How come I didn't buy a single rubber duck in my past life? How did I manage to survive until the fateful night of my death? Well, maybe that explains, why I died so young. "Playtime's over, Wendy.", I chirp, while unplugging the bathtub-plug. I rinse my underwear from the washing agent and blow-dry it, before putting on my new maid-uniform. Good thing I bought it, I'll have a lot of cleaning to do today. Too bad I don't have a holster for my powerful feather duster, I'll have to carry it in my hands the whole night.

The dimension device told me, that the dolphin prince wishes me to attain some horror-movie from some upcoming journalist or something, so I head to the Lady by the Sea. Since the prince of the sea is my prince, as I'm a kraken, I naturally must fulfil his orders immediately. I will go find this film critic right now!  
But first, let me get a snack. I head to the mad house, where the music of beating hearts and deep bass is already greeting me.  
"Oh my, a cute maid! And she smells as refreshing as mint ice. I hope you're not here to clean up, because I prefer it dirty." I gaze in awe at the blond schoolgirl with twin tails. She's well equipped for a schoolgirl… _Oh, I like this one, Solitaire. She seems like the perfect playmate for you._ "Greetings daughter of Janus. We're here to dine, not to whine about cleanliness, but then again, who wouldn't dream of cleaning your bells? Exchange names with me, and I'll be as lucky as a leprechaun."  
The schoolgirl chuckles, before replying teasingly, "You want my name? My name is the one whispered in your sweetest dreams, I'm the queen of hidden desires and sweetest torture. When I pout, the whole world wants to cheer me up, when I leave, everyone cries, and when I arrive, they can't help but ask: Who. Is. That. Girl?"  
I give her a sweet smile, before retorting, "Is there a shorter way to address you, buttercup?"  
"I am Jeanette. Voerman. Jeanette Voermann. And this congress of mad giggles and playful dancing is my club. I can tell, that we'll get along like cops and robbers." "Will you hunt me, even in my dreams?", I try to guess the meaning. "I'll let you handcuff me, after snatching your treasure.", she explains with a wink. Oh, bold.  
I didn't know, that I still had a treasure to be snatched. They say, that there would be no pockets in a shroud, after all.  
Anyways, for now, I must fulfill our name exchange. "This cop is named Adeline Martel. At least that's the name we're used to giving others."  
"I can't wait to get to know all of your other names. Alas, it must wait for another night, I still have business to fulfill. You'll have to entertain yourself for now, duckling." I wave Jeanette goodbye, as she heads to the elevator.  
Now, what's for dinner? I gaze around the club, as my eyes fall on a woman with red toned hair, standing abandoned in a corner. Judging from her grumpy expression, she must be the sacrifice of her fun group. Well, she can be my sacrifice, I'll make her feel better than any firewater could ever do. "You look like a puppy left out in the rain. Want me to take you home with me? I have a lovely leash, which should fit you well.", I seductively suggest.  
One would probably not notice, but I'm not very experienced in flirting. I didn't have the time for that, when I was still breathing regularly.  
"Oh my gosh, stay away from me, creep.", she replies, with a repulsed expression. Ah, dammit, retry! I waggle my feather duster in her face, and she looks dazed for a moment. "I want to conquer you, like Caesar wanted to conquer Gallia.", I confess to her, causing her to lightly chuckle. So, suggesting some light bondage is creepy, but outright admitting, that I want the pouring of a lot of blood to be involved in my seduction is not? … I don't get women. "You are my pearl, let me be your Cleopatra and eat you up!", I add with a sweet smile. "Who are you?", she asks me curiously, with shining eyes. Oh yeah, veni, vidi, vici, bitch. "Names, names, everyone wants names, here, let me give you some candy instead." I stroke her face and softly kiss her lips, before letting my lips wander towards her neck, like before.  
Her blood doesn't taste as funny as Euphrosyne's did, she's sober like a watered poodle, as I thought.

The little movie critic lives above a magical store, called "Trip's Pawnshop". I knock on the door, and a pasty man in his thirties, with dark circles under his eyes and a three-day-beard, opens. He looks at me confused. "What do you want?", he asks me grouchily. "Are you the writer of breezes, that come daily?", I inquire, even though I already know, that he is the right man, since he smells so fresh, despite his sleazy look. "… I'm a journalist, working for The Daily Breeze. Why? Who are you?" The breeze maker seems nervous for some reason, so I decide to gift him a reassuring smile. "I'm here, because of your movie critic for the last episode of Haunted L.A. They owe me big time, and I thought you could help me find them.", I explain to him.  
"What? How did you know, that I plan to write a story about them? Who told you?" Now he seems outright afraid for some reason. Geez, he really needs to relax. Hehe, relax. "Hehehehe. Hahhahahaha. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAHAHAHAHA!" breezy writer doesn't seem to get the joke at first, but soon starts laughing as well. "Hihihi, why are we laughing? Hahaha…", he asks me, while holding his sides. "You looked so funny just now, as if this tape you found actually scared you. Anyways, won't you invite me in? We're laughing buddies after all." He concedes to my wish, and steps to the side.  
This apartment of his looks like garbage, how can a fresh breeze survive in here? "Now, where is this famous movie? I like movies as well, you should lend it to me, your fellow giggle companion." The breezy writer proceeds to obediently bring me the haunted horror movie, like a good little lamb, and I reward him by cleaning his head for him. "And don't forget to delete everything you wrote about this horror movie, film reviews won't help your journalistic career.", I advise him, while brushing his face with my feather duster. What a powerful tool my feather duster is, it was the right decision to buy it. "There, all done. You'll have to do the remaining cleaning yourself, breezy writer. Toodeloo."

"Moo moo moo makes the cow, moo makes the cow. Oink, oink, oink makes the pig, oink makes the pig", suddenly the ring tone of my pocket dimension device pulls me out of trance. Where am I? I look down on the feather duster in my hands. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to tickle myself with it. I wait, until the part of the duck is over, before answering my phone. "Hello, you're speaking with the answering machine of Adeline's and associates' phone, how may I help you?"  
"Very funny. Why haven't you reported back to me yet?", replies the voice of the dark mage. A shiver runs down my spine. The dark mage is here? Where? I glance around, but can't find him. Speaking about glancing around, how did I end up at the beach? "Dark mage, don't be angry, we did our cleaning, but we had even more cleaning to do, for our fishy prince of the ocean.", I immediately justify myself. Hopefully, he won't notice, that we accidently cleaned ourselves too much, forgetting where we are and what we were supposed to do. "… I see. Very well. You still need a new haven, I have arranged one for you here in Downtown, meet me at the Empire Hotel in an hour." Pity, I won't have enough time to build a sand-trap for catching sandfrogs. I set my eyes upon the feather duster in my hands once again. "Bad feather duster! Bad, bad feather duster!", I scold it.  
I guess, I should've gotten a cleaning license, before handling such a powerful tool, but it's too late for regrets.

"There you are. I was beginning to think you would be late.", greets me the dark mage. I obediently sit down opposite to him, while greeting back, "Greetings, master mage." He takes a glance at my outfit. "You turned it into a maid uniform? I knew, that trying to force you to dress inconspicuously was a waste of time. Anyways, why do you smell like detergent?" Yes, why do I smell like detergent? Damn you, feather duster. For now, I'll simply make something believable up.  
"I slept in a washing machine. And I thought the costume would suit my scent.", I lie. "Right... Well, here are your new keys, but before I give them to you, you must fulfil a task for me. Go to the room 403, on the fourth floor and kill the three men inside, make sure not to leave any witnesses.", he instructs me.  
What's up with this sudden order? I tilt my head in confusion. "Why do I have to take my scythe out?" Didn't he tell me not to kill needlessly, in order to uphold the masquerade? "They're drug dealers anyways, and they tried to set me up. I could do it myself, but I think this task would be a good exercise for you, since they're mortals and you will need to kill sooner or later, in order to survive. Besides, you wanted to slaughter something, didn't you?" The dark mage looks at me with a raised eyebrow. _Only dark ones around the dark mage, no need to fear staining the white vest._ "Well, technically, the beast whisperer was the one who said that, but I will do this dark deed anyway." My answer seems to satisfy the dark mage, and he hands me a kitchen knife, which I put in my white apron.

"Room service!", I chirp, while knocking on the door of my prey. A man in a dark suit with combed-back hair opens and gives me an intimidating look, before trying to dismiss me, "No need. Now fuck off, bitch." How rude! I'm not a biologist, but I'm pretty sure, that the beast within is not a canine. "Puhahahaha. HAHAHAHAHA!" I try to get him to cheer up, by letting my inner laugh run wild, but he doesn't get the joke. Not. At. All. "The fuck? What's wrong with this crazy bitch… ", he grunts, while trying to slam the door in my face, but I stop him, by kicking the door open. "I'll invite myself in, kay?", I chirp whilst closing the door behind me. The puzzled wannabe-gangster sitting on the floor, after being thrust back by my kick, sure is a funny sight, but I suppress another laughing fit. "The hell?! You're dead, bitch!", yells his comrade at me, as he grabs his holstered gun. If only he knew how true his statement was! Well, at least the 'dead' part. The baffled wannabe also pulls himself up, but I slit his throat with my kitchen knife, before he can attack me. Blood splatters over my nice, white apron. I shove the wannabe gangster away, and he goes down, making gargling noises, when I'm suddenly thrown aback by a bang. "Shit, what happened?", exclaims the third man, entering from the bathroom door.  
His flies are down… I ignore him and dodge the next bullet from number two, as I leap forward and ram my knife in the abdominal cavity of number two. Number two groans, but continues shooting, hitting one of my cupcakes. Gosh, that stings, especially since he nearly strikes my heart. I yank my knife out of his abdomen and stabbing his chest multiple times, while more bullets penetrate my back from behind. Seems like number three managed to snap out of it. Number two on the other hand fell asleep, so I turn around to face of number three, this time totally ignoring his bullets, as I lunge towards him. A few bullets manage to penetrate my abdomen, shoulder and neck, before I clutch my arms and legs around his torso, sinking my fangs in his soft flesh.  
I can taste the fear in his blood, which keeps him from becoming paralyzed by pleasure. He still struggles, despite me feeding on him, but his resistance is growing weaker with every swallow. I release him, before he can die of blood loss and slit his throat to finish him off. I pierce his neck a few more times with my knife, in order to destroy my bite marks, before taking a look at the mess I made. My formerly white apron is sprinkled with red stains, and my dress is riddled with holes in addition.  
I wash the blood of my skin in the bath room and put my apron in a plastic bag, together with the knife and white magic powder, I found on the table, before heading back down to the dark mage. The newly added holes and blood stains of my black dress are more or less inconspicuous due to the darkness of the fabric.  
I decide to avoid getting close to other people nonetheless.

The dark mage smiles upon my return and gives me a small compliment, for being fast.  
Then we head to my new haven, a rundown apartment in Downtown, very similar to the one in Santa Monica unfortunately. "Oh yeah, before I leave, have you removed the bullets already?", the dark mage inquires. I tilt my head. "Bullets?" He gestures towards the holes in my dress. "Oh these… Why do I need to remove them?", I ask him. "Metal detectors. They can be a pain in the ass.", he explains to me. My wounds already closed up, how annoying.  
"I'll help you.", the dark mage says, while taking a surgery knife out of his bag. How many knives are hidden in this mysterious bag? I'm really curios, but I'll have to uncover this secret another time. I get out of my dress and the dark mage skillfully reopens my wounds and removes the bullets. I wonder, how he is able to find them, maybe he is using magic? "Just one left", he says, while caressing my collarbone. I obediently pull down my bra a bit, thereby exposing the area, where number two shot me. He carefully makes a cut above the bullet, not letting my cupcakes distract him. Blood surges from the wound, carrying the bullet out of my body.  
He was indeed using magic, how interesting.  
"You can come to me, if you are unable to remove a bullet, but only if you have to. Don't bother me, unless you need to.", he states whilst cleaning his surgery knife. "One more thing, you can get these in a hospital. You should be able to get yourself one.", he adds, waving his knife at me, before he cleans it and puts it back.

The dark mage leaves and I inspect my new abode. Upon inspection, I immediately encounter a problem. I don't have a bathtub. Only a crappy shower.  
Where shall I sleep now? Does the dark mage seriously expect me to sleep on the BED?! I sigh. The dark mage is too scary, there is no use in asking for another haven. A haven without a reverse ship, how laughable. As I turn to head towards the bedroom, something catches my attention.  
"Why are you crying?", I ask my mirror-reflection. I take a step closer to the bathroom mirror, in order to get a better view. Glasses, a boring bun, this must be Worker Bee. "You, you killed them! No, you slaughtered them, you monster! How could you do that?", she accuses me with red eyes. Her tears are translucent like water; I wonder if my tears would have the same color. "I had no choice, the dark mage told us to do it. You don't mess with the dark mage.", I calmly explain to her.  
"No, we could've… run away, or – something! Why did you… I'm not a monster, I don't kill people!", she hysterically cries. I stretch my arm towards her shoulder, in order to comfort her, but she evades my touch in panic. "Don't come closer, you monster! I'd rather die than become something like you!"  
I shake my head, trying to suppress a mocking smile. I AM already dead after all, how foolish of her. "No, you wouldn't. We both know, that you're not brave enough to end your life. Besides, you want to live as well. You don't want to kill people? Fine, but we must do it to survive. However, you don't need to be the one to do it. Just go to sleep and take care of Wendy, while we do what must be done.", I suggest, still sounding calm. My calm composure seems to be effective, as she has settled down a bit, however, she is still sobbing. "Wendy… She is still a child; how could she deal with this… Yes, I must protect her. But don't think, I would let you get away with murdering people!" Suddenly a growl rings out, and another reflection of me emerges in the mirror, accompanied by a third reflection.  
"Seriously, why even bother with her? She is human, she is weak, she will only drag us down. We don't have any need for her, so why not simply get over with it and kill her?", the beast whisperer says, while patting the head of the beast within. "She is still useful, besides, I'm fond of her. She may be annoying from time to time, but she is a part of us, just like you, the empress and Wendy.", I explain to her. The beast whisperer rolls her eyes at me. "But-", she begins, before I interrupt her, "We will NOT get rid of her." Worker Bee stopped crying, but is now trembling at the sight of beast and beast whisperer. Ah, how bothersome.  
"We are one, we share body and mind, so we should get along. Otherwise, how will we be able to reclaim, what is rightfully ours?", I softly scold ourselves.  
"Speaking of getting along, it is unfair, that Wendy got so much playtime, while we have to stay put. Even the beast got to play earlier, but apart from that, only you have been in control this whole time. When is it my time to take the wheel?", the empress interferes my conversation with the others. Gosh, sharing body and mind with others can be so troublesome, why are so many people seeking for a person they can do it with? "Alright, alright. You can do what you want for the rest of the night, but before that, we should feed again. Fighting made me thirsty. And in turn, Worker Bee will be allowed to take the wheel for some time tomorrow. But remember, if someone asks our name, you give them 'Adeline Martel' as an answer, no matter who is currently in charge. Agreed? Agreed!"

* * *

 _Author's note: In order to make the discipline Bllodbuff more 'natural', I choose to show its usage only through 'feeling thirsty'. Also, as there is no skillpoint-system in reality, Bloodbuff is basically just intuitively strengthening your senses or muscles through blood magic (not blood magic as Thaumaturgy of course, only as part of the nature of all kindred)._


	5. History repeats itself

**Chapter 4: History repeats itself**

* * *

 _Author's note: Most parts of this chapter were heavily modelled after missions in the game, hence the title. In case it wasn't clear before, the events in this fanfic take place after the Game events, though I won't tell how much time has passed between the Game events and the fanfic (at least not for now).  
_

* * *

The next night, I watch the horror movie, I got from the breezy journalist. It's a classic horror movie about a film crew, which encounters a monster in an abandoned hospital and gets eaten. Nothing out of the ordinary, I wonder why the prince wanted this movie so badly. After that, I travel back to my former home to collect my stuff. I'm wearing my cheerleader uniform again, since my maid uniform is riddled with holes. Cab-man is the one driving me again. Since I got his number, I'm only calling for him, if I need a ride, as I really like the scary him. I actually have my own car, but I prefer his company, besides, only Bee actually knows how to drive.  
Apart from packing my stuff, I also leave a termination notice for my former apartment in the mailbox of the landlord.  
I'd like to drive back with cab-man, but Bee insists on taking our car with us. Well, I promised to let her run free tonight for some time anyways.

I aimlessly wander around Santa Monica Pier. I wonder, why Bee had come here, after unpacking our things. I walk down the pier, and towards the beach.  
Maybe I should build a sand-mermaid? Or should I try to catch something rare? My sight falls upon a limping silhouette close to the cliff.  
A little god with broken wings, that should provide me with fun. "History seems to repeat itself, doesn't it, little god?", I cheerfully ask the bloody man, who looks as if he just had an intense rendezvous with a baseball bat. Must have been a blind date, how foolish of him. "What? Who are you?" The man observes me with suspicion. "The fleeting god serves the dolphin prince, no? I'm also a totally loyal subject of the prince.", I explain to him.  
"The prince? Shit, you're a Malkavian, aren't you? What do you want from me?", he starts interrogating me. "The fleeting god seems to have broken some wings. I wonder, what happened to the fleeting god?", I ask curiously. "Shit. You want to pinch some money from me? Alright, fine. Yes, I fucked up, ok? And if the prince finds out, I'm dead. So, what do you want, huh?" His funny reaction makes me giggle. His expression shows a weird mix of anger, embarrassment, pain and fear. Entertaining, as I hoped. "I don't need your funny papers, I'm just a bit bored. Maybe bored enough to help?", I reply with a grin. "Yeah? Can you escort me home? I live in the 24 Main Street apartments; we can talk about the details there." I give the fleeting god a piggy-back ride to his home, carefully avoiding the curious gazes of passersby.  
After softly positioning the fleeting god on his couch, I sit down on the carpet, giving him an expectant look. "Uh, thanks. Ah, motherfuckers… I'll fucking kill them! Ah, dammit, it hurts. If it wouldn't be for the blood, I'd be dead by now" Ugh, what a baby. And this is coming from me! "Stop whining and start telling the tale of 'How the fleeting god broke his wings- AGAIN'. We want to hear it!", I interrupt him. "Alright, alright. I'm a weapon dealer, and was just about to get another load, then the dealer suddenly wanted more money. Thought he could pull it off, since I'm working alone and stuff. But I ain't letting him cheat me. Told him to go fuck himself. He didn't take that very well…", he tells me. "And the boom-boom-sticks?", I ask him. "Still need them. I swear, I'll kick that cheap motherfucker's ass, as soon as the blood did its magic. Think he can fuck with me, huh? Well, he'll be surprised, when I'll shove my feet up his ass." I give him a look of pity.  
Too much self-confidence isn't good, you know? "You mentioned something about blood?", I probe further. He clearly isn't one of us, his heart is still singing to me. "You're a fledgling, huh? Come to think of it, I think I heard some rumors about a Malk-fledgling. Yes, blood. Vampire blood. I'm a ghoul, I work for Prince Valois, in exchange for a bit of his blood once a month. It makes me stronger, slows down my aging and can heal my wounds. A ghoul like me can't make any mistakes, or I'll be killed, so I would appreciate it, if you wouldn't tell anyone about my mistake. It's a wonder, that I was even allowed to work for Prince Valois, as I used to be the ghoul of Prince Lacroix before. Ghouls normally don't survive the demise of their masters, you know. I was lucky that finding new personal was too much a pain in the ass for Prince Valois with the war going on and all."  
I ponder a bit about his tale, before replying, "Alright, we want to kick some ass. Revenge is best served like ice cream – sweet, cold and fast, right? Tell us, where to find this dealer of booms." Despite his earlier whining, the fleeted god is more than happy to tell me the address, instead of insisting to do the job himself. Big mouth, nothing behind it. I turn to leave, but stop in the middle in my steps. If I want to kick some ass, I should make sure to please Bee first.  
"Anything else you need? Some sky medicine, or something?", I ask him. He seems surprised at my question, but answers honestly, "Something against the pain would be nice. Hey, thanks. Name's Mercurio, by the way. Look, I owe you. If you need anything in the future, come to me, I will give you some discount."  
I bid him goodbye and head out.

My first job is in the hospital of Santa Monica. I didn't bring the imperial sky medicine with me, but I needed to do some shopping in the hospital anyways, another item on the list won't make much difference. The nurse at the reception didn't want to let me through at first, but I could persuade her, that Malcom in the middle wanted to do some mammography on me. I found Malcom in the middle, being in the middle of a surgery, so I decided, that my promised mammography would have to wait for later. For the time being, I invited myself into his office. His door was reluctant in letting me in, but I was able to persuade it, with the help of this lock pick, I found in my bag, along with a book titled 'How to get back into your home, after your wife changed the locks again – A Guide for dummies. You'll only need a lock pick!'.  
I wonder, who left these there? Not that it matters, it's mine now.  
I immediately found some sky medicine on his desk, but maybe there is more interesting stuff here? Oh, look who forgot to log out of his mail account! One unfortunate ex-husband, who is desperately trying to get his ex-wife back, apparently. Well, he shouldn't have played doctor with a nurse then. I soon grow bored of his mails, and decide to explore the rest of the hospital instead. I finally find what I've been looking for in an empty supply room: a stethoskope. Oh, and a surgery knife.  
Alright, time to head back.  
A delightful smell makes me stop on my way to the exit. I gaze inside the room, out of which the lovely fragrance drifted. A woman with hair in the colors of a rainbow lies in a puddle of her own blood on a stretcher, softly moaning from pain. "Have the dark ones attacked you, goddess of rainbows? As messenger of the gods, you ought to be more careful!" She looks at me confused. "Who… are you?", she asks me groaningly. "I'm here to give you some sweet medicine, Iris. Now, say Ahhh!"  
I use my new surgery knife to slit my wrist open, and press my bleeding wound on her mouth. The weak and confused rainbow obediently drinks my blood.  
"Ah history truly repeats itself. Another messenger god with broken wings saved by my humble self.", I remark, while withdrawing my wrist.  
"I… you… What did you do? What did you do to me? Why do I feel so much better now?", my little rainbow asks me confused. I just smile at her. "I will leave you a small riddle, in case you want to find me later.", I say and start to fill out a document from Malcolm's office with a pen from Malcolm's office.  
"I have to take care of another patient now. Toodeloo.", I bid her goodbye, while handing her the paper.

I deliver the sky medicine to the fleeting god. "I don't have time for revenge tonight, but I will take care of it tomorrow.", I promise him. He doesn't object, since he is still suffering from the consequences of his second mistake, and expresses his gratitude for the sky medicine instead. Now it's time to make another delivery.  
I persuade Bee, to take me back to Downtown, where I head to the tower of the dolphin prince. This time, there are no Ventrue henchmen waiting for me, so I decide to greet the doughnut-munching security guard first. "Greetings, Chunk2. I have a delivery for the man up high in the sky. Care to buzz me up?" The fat guard stops eating, before answering, "Ah, good evening, Miss? Are you expected by someone? I can't simply let you enter, you see. No offence, it's part of my job."  
Ah, such an innocent creature. Doesn't he know, that his predecessor spilled his jelly-fillings for not letting someone like me enter? But his naivety is cute in a way. "Alright, we will exchange names with you, Doughnut, but you'll have to buzz us up. You can call us Adeline Martel, not from Westeros unfortunately, but close enough. We're expected by-" What was the name dolphin prince wanted to be called by again? Quick, improvise! I glance at the big sign behind the human doughnut.  
'Valois Corporation', it says. "- by Mr. Valois. Now, sweet doughnut, what's your name?" The doughnut seems to be a bit flustered, but hastily replies, "Todd. Todd Davis. You can call me Officer Todd. Ehm, may I ask what this delivery is about?" He glances at my cheerleader uniform.  
Is he jealous? I won't give it to him, he is not the lead character! Mob characters are not worthy of cheerleading uniforms. But I won't fuel his jealousy by explaining that to him. "I'm delivering entertainment. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.", I reply with a wink. High class entertainment, in the form of a crappy horror movie. "Anyways, night time will soon come to an end. Care to buzz me up?" Toddoughnut's face is bright red for some reason, but he finally summons the elevator for me.

Even though my arrival has been announced by Officer Todd, I'm still forced to wait for quite some time, before I'm allowed into his office. "Greetings prince of the ocean.", I greet him with a curtsey. He's sitting at his desk, tapping on his beloved dimension device, without even sparing me a glance. The shadow behind him on the other hand, is silently observing me. Whenever I meet this shadow, the song 'danger zone' gets stuck in my head. "You got the tape?", he finally asks me, still not looking at me. "Yes.", I reply, while dangling the bag with the horror movie in the air. "And the journalist?", he probes further, finally directing his gaze at me.  
"He prefers chick flicks now." "Excellent. But why are you still wearing that cheerleader uniform? Mr. Galliano told me, that he would have organized you more appropriate clothing?" Dolphin prince doesn't like cheerleaders, huh. He should – gasp – cheer up! "My maid uniform got messy from cleaning.", I explain.  
"I see. You may leave now." Dolphin prince turns his attention back to his dimension device. No reward for this little doggie?  
I head back to my haven, feeling disappointed.

The next night, I drive back to Santa Monica to fulfil my mission. I snacked upon a homeless, before heading off, but I didn't like his taste and his blood wasn't satisfying. As my former experience with the gangster-triplet showed me, that a kitchen knife isn't the best weapon for mass-murder, I head to Trip's Pang-shop, before going on my revenge-rage. I would go to the fleeted god, but he fucked up at procuring supplies in the first place.  
I cheerfully greet the caged Trip. Poor Trip, why is he caged? Maybe he bites? Oh no, a vampire! Wait, his heart is still making… "Uhhh, can I help ya?", he asks me, thereby interrupting my thoughts. "A boomstick with extra boom and chocolate sprinkles, please.", I give my order with a smile. Oh boy, I can't wait to tickle the back of other people with my new boomstick. "Uhm, I don't think we sell what you want.", caged Trip replies. He seems nervous for some reason. "Oh. Well, then a boomstick with extra boom, without chocolate sprinkles.", I change my order, feeling disappointed about the sprinkles. Everything is better with chocolate sprinkles after all.  
"I have no idea, what you're talking about, Lady." I'm starting to feel frustrated. "A boomstick. I want to buy a boomstick. A stick of doom, that makes boom.", I explain to him, not hiding my irritation. Trip sighs. "You mean a gun? Alright, alright. You don't look like a cop, so I'll let you take a look at my special array of products, ok?", caged Trip finally complies. Took you long enough! I choose a revolver .38, which I named Eddy. It's really a cute boomstick, with its silver shine and its curved form.  
All what's missing is a pink ribbon.

Since I'm all prepared now, I waste no more time and head to the beach hut, in which the weapon dealers reside. Two henchmen are playing cards in front of the hut, and I slowly approach them with a smile. As soon as they notice me, they stop playing and stare at me suspiciously. "What do you want?", one of them asks, a buffed buffoon wearing a muscle shirt and shorts. "Trade words with the lord of boom. I have a deal to propose.", I answer truthfully. The buffoon positions himself in front of me, with crossed arms. "You don't look like someone we would do business with. Scram." Arms akimbo, I puff my cheeks at his refusal.  
"How rude, why am I not allowed to blow things up? Just because I'm a cheerleader?" I soften my tone and continue purring, "How about you let me through, and in exchange I'll gobble you up later?" Buffed buffoon examines me from head to toe, before replying with a smile, "Alright. But don't blame me, if boss doesn't agree to your deal." I thank him and cheerfully head inside. I never tasted buffoon before, does it taste like buffalo? Inside is a living room, with 3 males and a woman watching sport on the TV, while drinking beer. The woman wears a skimpy outfit and cuddles with one of the men. I continue my way and come across another two men, quietly talking in the kitchen. They stopped their conversation, as soon as they noticed me and simply glared at me instead.  
I wonder what kind of secrets I missed by showing myself to them? It doesn't matter though; the secrets will die with them. I give them a sweet smile.  
I finally reach the door, behind which the lord of boom is waiting for his revenge. Well, to be more accurate, he is currently arguing with one of his henchmen about some other group of thugs or something. I listen for a while, but grow soon bored of it, and knock on the door.  
The heated voices grow silent for a moment, before a loud voice demands me to come inside. "Greetings, Lord of doom.", I greet the head of thugs smilingly.  
The lord of doom, a slimy man in his thirties with a tan, examines me with crossed arms, before harshly asking me, "What do you want?" His whole posture shows, that he is used to being feared by most. Too bad that I'm scarier than him. "I came here for business. Can you recommend me some explosives? I want to blow something up." The lord of doom seems surprised at my request, which is strange, since his occupation is selling boom, bang and pang, isn't it?  
"Explosives, huh? That's quite some heavy stuff, cupcake. What would a cute cheerleader need explosives for?", he inquires. "My half-brother was the one to inherit Dad's company.", I confess to him. "Well, lucky for you, we just got some astrolite. Astrolite is good stuff, a small pack is enough to make all your troubles disappear. I may be willing to part with it, the question is, how much are you willing to pay?" I glance at his second-in-command, who is silently observing me from the side.  
"Maybe we can haggle the price in private?", I purr. He gives me a sleazy smile, while commanding his henchman, "Go and check our supplies."  
The henchman obediently leaves, not without giving me an envious look. What, did he want to spend more time with his boss?  
Oh my, a secret one-sided love at your workplace, how exciting.

As soon as he left, I pounce on the lord of doom, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. "Whoa there, you're a wild one, aren't you?", he comments, as he shoves one hand under my skirt, and the other under my top. "You can call me daddy.", I reply, before piercing his neck with my fangs.  
The taste of his blood is tainted by his lust, making it so much more pleasurable than the feeble blood of the hobo. In addition, his neck doesn't stink as much.  
It reeks of aftershave, but that's still better than the smell of not washing for weeks. As the beating of his heart grows weaker, his moaning also grows silent, until I finally yank my fangs out of his neck and he slumps down. I take my kitchen knife out and head to the door.  
I find the second-in-command-henchman standing in a small storeroom, with his back turned to the door. He is currently checking on the items stored inside, and hasn't noticed me yet. No longer hiding the knife behind me back, I stealthily sneak up on him, and cut his throat, while covering his mouth with my other hand. He struggles at first, but obediently falls asleep soon. I release his body and silently move to the next room, the kitchen with the two philosophers.  
One of them seemed to have heard the door creak, as he slowly directs his gaze towards me. "Cheer up!", I form the words with my mouth, whilst assuming a cheering pose. I always knew, that I would be a good cheerleader, and now I have finally proved my cheerleading ability, as he silently starts to giggle, slowly growing louder. While his confused partner tries to understand the joke, I smoothly sneak up on him and end his low-life the same way I ended the last.  
Reaping souls, who are not aware, that they're about to be reaped, surely is easier than reaping souls, who are. The laugh of the other one is tinged with hysteria by now and his eyes shine with sweet panic, but he's laughing so hard, that he's holding his stomach.  
"Shut the fuck up, Leroy!", someone shouts from the living-soon-to-be-dead-room. I comply to that person's wish, by ramming my knife in the philosopher's abdomen. His laugh immediately stops, and he tries to fight me instead, but alas, his wounds are too severe, so his attack ends as slumping down against me with a groan.  
Oh no, now my cheerleader uniform is stained, what a wicked attack!  
A scream pulls my gaze from the dead body to my feet, to the skimpy thug-lover at the kitchen-entrance. I pull my cute gun from my bag and end her screaming with two swift shots in her head. Geez, that's how it always ends for people dating thugs: two bullets in the head from a crazy cheerleader.  
Decoyed by the scream, the loved thug and thug A and B arrive like the storm, with the beloved thug at the front. The formerly beloved thug swears upon the sight of his formerly skimpy girlfriend, and is also the first to draw his weapon, with A and B imitating him. They immediately start to shoot at me, without even asking me about my opinion, as to who the murder of their companions might be, but I manage to dodge their bullets and in turn graze B with Eddy.  
The formerly loved thug is insulting me the whole time, how annoying. "Cheer the fuck up!", I yell at him, as I lunge forward and pounce on B, thereby immobilizing his arms with my knees. While I try to end B with a headshot, formerly-loved thug starts uncontrollably laughing.  
I swear, as my dear Eddy only makes clicking noises, instead of its usual boom and grab my knife, however, before I can draw a smile on B's throat, my head is bashed to the side. I angrily turn to the source of my headache, while finishing the drawing. "M m monster!", thug A exclaims in a high-pitched voice, whilst formerly-loved thug's laughter turns an octave more insane. "Th th thug A!", I derogatively imitate him, as I stand up from his companion. His weapon falls down with a clank, and he turns to run away, but I'm faster. Following the sound of his heart, I stop its beat with my kitchen knife. As the beat of his heart stops, so does the mad laughter, and I turn to formerly-loved thug, thereby narrowly dodging another bullet to the head. He manages to give me a last insult, before I rip out his throat with my bare hands. "Such a pity, no one will ever know, that your last words were: 'Burn in hell, bitch', they would've made a good epitaph.", I admit to the corpse in front of my feet.

I continue my way to the living-soon-to-be-dead-room, there buffoon and companion are already waiting for me, the buffoon with a machete and his companion with a gun. Foolish companion, bringing a gun to a knife-fight. His companion immediately shoots at me, but I swiftly dodge, as I lunge forward, aiming for his heart. I was so close to getting it, but had to evade due to buffoon's big knife. He's jealous, isn't he? I smoothly continue avoiding buffoon's attacks, thereby positioning him between me and his companion. His machete manages to graze my shoulder, and I hiss, baring my fangs at him. Buffoon's eyes turn big upon seeing my fangs, and I use his short moment of being stunned, in order to thrust my knife into his shoulder, while also kicking his lower abdominal region.  
Whilst buffoon goes down from the pain, I move past him and pounce towards his companion. His companion on the other hand panics, and starts wildly shooting at me, not minding, that he is also hitting the buffoon. As his aim is pretty off, due to his panic, I'm able to evade all bullets, and smoothly pierce his heart with my knife.  
I turn back to the buffoon, who is currently picking himself up. I click my tongue. That won't do, he won't be able to escape me.  
I move him back on the floor with a soft kick, while stepping on his hand with the machete. He angrily tries to shake my foot off, cursing at me, as he doesn't succeed.  
I casually snatch the machete from him and throw it away.  
While holding him down with my knee on his chest, I cut the ligaments of his legs, not minding his cries. I then stand up and get my bag, which still lies in the kitchen. As I come back into the dead-room, I see buffoon desperately crawling towards his machete, only using his arms. You don't know, when to stop, huh.  
I turn him back on his back without much effort, and immobilize him, by sitting down on his chest, with his hands under my knees. While ignoring his cursing, I take the mirror out of my bag and proceed to remove the bullet in my head with my kitchen knife. His cursing suddenly falls silent, until he finally says, "Monster."  
I roll my eyes at him, as the bullet falls down to the floor with a plop. "Rapist.", I derogatively imitate him. His eyes become big again, and I lean towards his face with a sweet smile on my lips, before whispering in his ear, "I promised you, that I would gobble you up, didn't I?" He screams, as my fangs pierce his neck.  
His scream gets a weird connotation from getting his blood sucked, as the adrenaline keeps him awake, but pleasure mixes in with the pain.


	6. Sneaky like a fox

**Chapter 5: Sneaky like a fox**

* * *

I turn around a last time, before leaving the beach hut. Have I forgotten something? My bite marks are destroyed, using my kitchen knife, I collected all the funny paper I could find, and I carry my bag and some plastic bags filled with weapons. There's one more thing I need to do, but I should pack my new stuff away first.  
I reach my car without having to avoid any passersby and return to the beach hut just as smoothly, with a small bag. After setting everything up, I return to the beach to watch the fireworks from a safe place. Lord of boom certainly didn't exaggerate, when he recommended me the astrolite. While I watch the fireworks, I'm suddenly reminded of my custody case again. With my new equipment, shouldn't I be ready to fight for my case now?  
 _You're still way too young, Solitaire.  
_ Tsk. Fine. Delivering the weapons to the fleeting god proves to be mildly difficult, since my cheerleader outfit is stained with blood. A bum unfortunately managed to detect me, however I could persuade him, that the stains are from strawberry juice. After delivering the goods, I let Bee drive me back to Downtown.

Back at my haven, I change into a suit, before heading off to the mad house of the fox. I would've preferred other clothes, but alas, only boring clothes are left.  
The fox lady invited me to her abode via my pocket dimension device, claiming she would instruct me in the ways of madness. I think I'm already a pro at being mad, but just in case I'll go anyways. You never know, how much crazier you could get.  
I'm directly lead into her office unfortunately, without the opportunity to explore the rooms of the mentally deranged. Apparently, the fox lady doesn't like other kindred messing with her mortals of madness. Jealous old hag. While jealous old hag sits down behind her big old desk, I lay down on the comfy couch.  
The couch smells of weird confessions, dramatic monologues and rickety excuses. I absolutely adore this scent. "Now then, I'm sure you know enough about our society by now, so I won't have to explain you anything about it anymore, right? So, all what's left, is to explain to you the peculiarities of our clan.", she starts the conversation. "Oh, and how peculiar we are!", I comment cheerfully. "Yes. Our blood carries madness within, unfortunately, resulting in those of our bloodline to hear certain voices. Dealing with our condition, certainly isn't an easy task. The voices will never leave you alone, you can only endure them. Sometimes, some of the voices will even try to take control over your body, so you will need to be vigilant at all times and keep your voices in check.", she warns me.  
I shrug, while casually replying, "The voices and I are friends. I'm a cheerleader, so I'm naturally popular." Fox lady looks at me strangely and starts to scribble something down. "I see. Is that the reason you became a cheerleader? Because you wanted to become popular?", she asks me, whilst repositioning her glasses.  
I take a moment to think about her question, before responding, "Being a cheerleader is more fun, than playing the wall flower."  
"Do you enjoy the attention given to a cheerleader?", she probes further. "Well, on the one hand, finally being able to play the lead-role makes me happy, but on the other hand, it would be nicer, if I could avoid unwanted attention. For example, I had to sneak back to my car tonight with a blood-stained cheerleader uniform. It would be nice, if I could merge with the shadows next time." Fox lady writes something down again, before replying, "One of our clan disciplines is actually obfuscating, this way people won't be able to see you. I can show you the ropes, but you'll have to learn the rest by yourself."  
"I'm a big fan of ropes, I'm practically obsessed with them. A side effect of my time being a girl scout. Show them to me!", I reply enthusiastically. After fox lady's brief instruction in the art of obfuscation, I naturally want to immediately try it, however I'm forced to answer more boring questions from the fox lady, before I'm being released. Fox lady asked me about my relationship to my new daddy, as well as my relationship to my former daddy and how my boring mortal life was, while scribbling down some notes. I couldn't care less about my mortal life, so I don't understand why she would be interested in it, but all hail the queen of madness.  
Though even she seems to be bored with it, as she stops asking and shakes her head in disappointment. "I was wondering, why Henchman sired you, since I couldn't find a record of you in any mental institution, but to think you just had some Daddy-issues. You see, most Malkavians choose a mortal as Childe, who is already insane. Well, a slight depression or some ordinary daddy-issues like in your case normally don't count as a condition interesting enough for the gift, but then again, our bloodline isn't known for homogenous behavior." What? Did she just call me mentally stable, not insane enough? How rude!  
"Then what about your madness? What was it, that attracted your sire?", I ask her curiously. The fox lady stiffens her back, before replying, "It was a misconception in my case. I was… framed for being mad, and my sire was too confused to notice my sanity." Oh, sure he was, you hypocrite. I suppress my urge to sing 'Liar, liar, pants on fire' and just smile and nod, like one of the voices told me to do. This seems to calm the fox a bit, as her posture relaxes, and she dismisses me.  
Finally, now I can practice merging with the shadows.

I decide to test my new abilities in the empire first, since the pompous business suits make good victims for pranks. My first objective is getting a magic key for entrance into the kingdom's rooms, so I sneak past the 'employees only' room towards the reception. The receptionist, a loser suit with black hair, turns around, as he heard me opening the door. He turns back around, as he fails to see me, and I slowly grab a random key from the cupboard. He still didn't notice me, and I carefully open the door again and leave. The room to the key I borrowed belongs to some uniform-wearing loser, who is currently revenge-hunting in the lobby, according to one of my voices. I'm not sure, whether it's the truth however, since the voice sounds similar to the one, who is always lying.  
The man left his dimension device on the desk, and since there is nothing else to do, I decide to take look at it for now. The first thing I find, is a folder with pictures of a woman, flirting with various men. This suit must be an especially pathetic exemplar, wearing a green hat. One of my voices becomes excited, is the man coming back? I start undressing a bit, and hide my jacket and top under the bed. While I'm stripping out of my trousers, the door suddenly opens with a click. I turn around and shriek at the weary-looking loser, standing in the doorframe. "Get out, pervert!", I yell at him, while throwing a packet of tissues from the desk at him. "I, I'm sorry…", the perplexed man stutters, and hastily closes the door, with a flashing-red face. I immediately crouch down and obfuscate. A minute later, the door opens again. "Wait, this is my-! Huh?", uniform loser says, as he steps inside, while looking around with a confused expression. He keeps wildly looking around, as he walks through the room, halting in front of his opened dimension device and then carefully heads to the bathroom. I wonder what he's looking for? Apparently, he had no luck in finding it in the bathroom, and he finally gives up with a sigh, and throws himself on the bed, while mumbling "What the heck… Did I drink too much?" I remain on my spot and watch him curiously for a while, until he starts making funny snoring sounds.  
I pour myself a glass of cognac from the minibar and sit down on a chair, with the sleeping green-hat-man in my field of vision. While playing with the invisible kitten with my one hand, and holding the glass of liquor in the other, I quietly say to him, "We know each other for such a long time, but today is the first time, that you come to me for help. When was the last time you invited me to your home for a cup of blood? Even though my nephew is the godmother of your only wife. You never appreciated my friendship and you were afraid of being in my debt. Yes, I know. America was paradise for you, with its judges and doughnut-chasers. But now you come to me and say: 'Don Martel, give me justice!', without showing me any respect. Without offering me friendship. No, instead you come into my hotel-room, on the day of my stepbrother's first business-failure, asking me to cheat on your wife." I stand up, and move to the window.  
"Bonjour, bonjour, why don't you give me any respect? If you would've come to me in friendship, your wife would already be wearing a green hat herself, and if a woman would cheat on you tonight, I would immediately cheat on her as well. They would want you!" I change my voice to imitate his, before continuing, "Do you want to be my friend… my godfather?" I nod in satisfaction, before answering in my normal voice, "Very well. Someday, maybe never, I will ask you for a favor. But until then, my cheating on your wife shall be a gift for you, in celebration of my stepbrother's failure." Having finished with my melodramatic speech, I pour the remaining Bourbon down the drain and leave a farewell letter on his desk, together with the glass and the empty bottle:

 _To my little uniform-pumpkin,_

 _Thank you for the night & sleep tight!_

 _Your crazy pumpkin_

 _PS: Call me!_

I add the telephone number of my favorite pizzeria and seal the letter with a kiss, leaving a stain on the paper with red lipstick. Satisfied with my mission, I grab my clothes from under the bed and exit the room. Frankly speaking, I think my prank was quite lame, but the voice, whose idea it was, insists, that it just takes some time to get the joke.  
I head to the hotel bar, where I tried to seduce a midnight snack, but none of my awesome pickup-lines worked, so I settled for a lonely little thug in a dark alley instead. I would like to taste the prince's secretary again, but dolphins are greedy creatures, not fond of sharing. Now then, what shall I do now? I'm tired of wearing these boorish clothes, so I return to the hotel, in order to snatch a new maid uniform for me. "You dare to steal from MY hotel?", an angry voice asks me from behind, as I stuff my new uniform in my bag. I turn around to the glaring queen of Spain. Oh no, will she call the Spanish inquisition upon us?  
"We are sorry, we forgot it belongs to your kingdom, queen. But we need a new uniform, our last one got dirty, you see? It got thug-stains from cleaning.", I try to appease her. "I was wondering, why you were walking in here. The 'employees only'-rooms are off limits for you. But you may take the uniform, I'll give it to you, if you fulfil a small task for me." A task? Do I look like a dog, wanting to play fetch? But then again, I AM bored, and I really need some new clothing, suited for staying low. Everyone knows, that the gardener is the murderer, not the maid, after all. "How much for these garments?", I inquire.  
"Recently the Tong started to extend their 'turf' from Chinatown. I usually wouldn't care for those little gang fights of kine, however the Tong mustn't set foot here.  
I want you to destroy a little warehouse of theirs in South Central." I like blowing up things, and I still have some astrolite left, so I'm very interested, but the reward seems a bit small for such a risky task. "We will have as many uniforms we want, in whichever era we come, as compensation.", I demand from her.  
She furrows her brows, before replying, "Two whole outfits should be enough." I blink at her, "Ten?" "Two." "I want two and a half!" She raises an eyebrow at me, asking me, "A half uniform?" I gesture towards the white aprons. "Fine. Take the uniform as prepayment, you can get the rest after you have fulfilled the task." Something tells me, I need to improve my haggling skills, but at least I still got what I want.

I spent the rest of my night in my crappy abode, listening to 'The Deb of Night', my favorite radio show. The show is entertaining, as well as informative.  
One of the regular callers, a man called Gomez, always informs the audience about the top secret wheeling and dealing of society's underground, and I attentively listen to his newest report. "Deb, I tell you Deb, Deb, the people really need to know this. Look, Deb, I'm putting my life in the line here, by telling you this, But! The. People. Need. To. KNOW!" "Alright, Gomez, so what do the people need to know this time, hm? Is this another of your vampire-theories? Or is it about the lizard-people this time?", Deb asks him unfazed. She has such a charming voice; I wonder if she tastes as delicious as she sounds.  
"The people need to know about this, Deb. You know how all the media goes crazy about the bees dying or what? So, I've been thinking, Deb, who could be responsible for their death? And then it was suddenly clear to me, Deb, there is just one group of people, who would profit from this: The Chinese!"  
Oh, how unexpected. I thought the flower fairies would be the true mastermind behind the bees' demise, since the bees were taking their jobs of pollination.  
"The Chinese? And how did you come to that conclusion?", Deb nonchalantly inquires. "You see, Deb, I read a lot of news and stuff, and there was this article about how some companies in China employ people, in order to pollinate their plants, instead of using bees. And then, suddenly everything was clear for me! China has so many Chinese, they can employ people for that kind of job, but America doesn't! So, if the bees die, which country will suffer from a bad harvest? The USA! And which country won't suffer from that? China! And 'Boom!', USA goes down the drain, while China becomes the next world power."  
"Well, your conspiracy theory is as illusive as always, Gomez, but your time is up. Caller two, you're next…"

I might be a bit crazy sometimes, but I'm not crazy enough to go playing with Ting-Tang-Tongs unprepared, so I head to Trip's Pawnshop the next night, after grabbing some lunch on the way. I'm looking for a manual for my cute little gun, since my gun got sick. Eddie the gun couldn't spit any bullets, ever since he failed to kill that thug in the hut. I thought about visiting the fleeting god instead, but my voices doubt, that he's literate. A literate person wouldn't mess up twice, right?  
"I'd like a book about boomology, please.", I politely order. "A what?" "A book about boomology." "Lady, I have literally no idea, what you're talking about."  
I tilt my head in confusion. "A book about boomology, the science of using boomsticks.", I patiently explain. Geez, why do I always have to explain everything?  
"Ohhh. You mean shooting? This might interest you then." Trip shows me a book. 'A shooting guide for the little princess' is written on it, with a picture of a hello-kitty rifle. "I take it.", I immediately exclaim enthusiastically. I also want a hello-kitty rifle… Trip unfortunately has no hello-kitty-rifle, such a pity.

Two nights later, I stand in front of the gate to an old, rusty abode, a shelter for Ting-Tang-Tongs. I'm wearing another suit, since I'll be dealing death to a lot of people tonight and I don't want to ruin my new maid outfit. Now, how to best destroy this outpost? I have to think of a good, logical plan to eradicate this place from the map, without dying again. Well, there is naturally just one way, how to safely wreck this place: infiltration!  
Since one of my voices claims to be a Chinese empress, infiltrating this place should be child's play. And no one is better in playing childishly than me!  
I casually approach the guards, who are standing next to the entrance of the compound. "Nokia, ching chang chong, yāzi suān tián", I greet them nonchalant.  
"Bitch, you wanna die?!", one of them answers, and all three of them draw their knifes. Oh no, did puppet-boy pose as another voice again? Fucking liar!  
I drop my incredible act and draw my own, good ol' kitchen knife. "Who's in for some sashimi?", I chirp, as I lunge towards my first victim.  
 _That's not chin- ugh, whatever.  
_ Shut up, empress.  
I spin away from his attack and pierce his stomach with my knife. He slumps down with a groan, while I turn to my next victim. After ripping his front open, he also slumps down. The third Ting-Tang-Tong was still stiff from shock, when my knife penetrated his head.  
When bees attack, their stinger often remains in the skin of their victim, causing them to rip off their abdomen. The remaining stinger attracts other bees to also attack the victim. Ting-Tang-Tongs must be related to bees, my suit is totally drenched in blood now, and I don't think, that I will still be able to pass as a friendly passerby. Therefore, it's safe to say, that my infiltration failed. Damn you, sneaky Tongs!  
Well, change of plans, since my ninja skills of imitation failed, I will have to rely on my other, brand-new ninja skills of sneaking. As I head towards the building, I spot another two Tongs patrolling outside. I sneak up on them, using my obfuscation whenever they turn around. It's a bother, that I still can't obfuscate while walking, I need to hold still, whenever I want to turn invisible. Getting closer to them is also difficult, when you can only sneak, especially since they turn around quite often.  
They look nervous, I wonder why? Just when one of them starts frantically babbling some incomprehensible words to the other, I finally manage to catch up to them, and ram my knife in the heart of his companion. I don't give the other any chance to react, and draw a smile on his throat, before he can alarm the other Tongs.  
I reach a door without any further problems and invite myself in, using my door opener. Upon entering the building, I immediately strike down two Tongs close to me and hide behind one of the huge shelves filled with wooden boxes, in order to evade the bullets coming after me. There is no way, that I could've hidden my greatness, so I will have to deal with Ting-Tang-Tongs upfront unfortunately. Whatever, time to play peek-a-boo with the Ting-Tang-Tongs.  
There are about 10 to 15 people, whose hearts still make music. Good thing, that I brought Eddy the Gun with me, otherwise silencing their hearts with only my kitchen knife would've been difficult. Hide, shoot, hide, shoot, I play Bond to my heart's content and Tongs go clanging down. Two of them tried to one-on-one me in a knife fight. Of course, I reacted by introducing their innards to the floor. Well, though I had a lot of fun, I wasn't able to evade all of their bullets.  
It's literally a pain in the ass. And since I don't want the dark mage penetrating me, _Phrasing!_ I will need help from someone else for removing the bullets.  
Good thing I left one Tong alive as an after-fight-snack. "So, long story short, help me.", I say to the man I'm currently sitting on.  
"He Help ya with what? Wha What are ya talking about?", he replies. I roll my eyes at his reply. What is it with thugs and stuttering?  
Someone should open a thug-foundation for thugs with speech defects. "Take away the biting marbles, Mr. copycat.", I impatiently order him, while thrusting my surgery knife in his hands. I'm fully recovered due to my mid-fight-snack, while Mr. copycat has a dislocated knee, so I feel safe with equipping him. He obediently removes the bullets with trembling fingers and I give myself a shoulder-pat, for wisely choosing the weakest Tong as my after-fight-snack. Ripping out the heart of his partner in front of him with my bare hands, also may have contributed to him becoming obedient. After rewarding him for his work with a quick and painless death, I change my garments from bloody to clean and set up the fireworks. I take the time to enjoy the show, before heading to the empire for my royal reward.


	7. Party over politics

**Chapter 6: Party over politics**

* * *

Another night and another mission, the dark mage sends me to fetch him something. Honestly, I don't know why I need to do this quest, as this is one of these boring ones, which don't give much XP. But dark mage is scary, so I don't want to anger him. At least not yet, maybe after I leveled up a bit, defeating him should give me lots of experience.  
I smooth my apron and step inside the abandoned auction house. Inside is an attractive woman with black hair, gracefully lying on a chaise lounge and reading some old book. She's wearing a green, embroidered dress, adding to her elegant and sophisticated appearance. A _black spider is weaving her web in the darkness.  
_ "Oh, I know you! You're the actress! I'm a big fan of your movie, the one in the hospital? It was really funny. I especially liked the part, where this goth tried to open the door, but it was locked, and when he pounded on the door like an idiot, and when you killed him. Ha, classic." I touch my cheeks, while happily reminiscing about the movie. The actress reluctantly closes her book and glances at me. "Excuse me, you are?", she asks me.  
"Uh, good question. Let me think for a second. Ah, Lady Martell or something. Gosh, I'm so excited about meeting you, that I forgot the rest of my name!", I answer her with a grin. "What's your name, actress? I didn't read the credits." The actress rises up, puts her book on the chaise lounge and gracefully walks towards me, before stretching her hand out to me. "You can call me Pisha. Nice to meet you." I happily shake her hand. _The spider cries crocodile tears for her broken heart.  
_ "You're an odd one. You must be a child of Malkav?", she asks me. "No, I'm a Childe of Henchman. But Malkav is my ancestor. And you, twice damned one? Are you a Childe of Hannibal Lecter? I didn't know, that he was kindred as well.", I reply, whilst looking at her innocently. _Hey, hey, what do you call a seven with a cross?_ Not now. "Nagaraja. That movie you mentioned… what happened to it?" I examine Nagaraja's Childe from head to toe. She's wearing a poker face, but she can't fool me.  
She feels uncomfortable for some reason. Maybe she regrets shooting the movie?  
How odd, normally young actresses only regret shooting movies, in which they showed their cupcakes, don't they? "The princely dolphin prince wanted it, so I lend it to him. He hasn't returned it yet, so I guess he really likes it as well?" Upon hearing my answer, the actress tensed up a bit.  
"Why are you here? What do you want?", she interrogates me. "Can't you see I'm a maid? Naturally, I'm here on an errand. Dark mage sends me to fetch him his treat.", I reply and take the ring out of my apron. Actress seems to relax a bit, upon seeing the ring and starts examining it. "Yes, this is what I've been looking for. Here, take this, and give it to Mr. Galliano. It is the item he wanted in exchange." Pisha hands me some kind of amulet, with an eye instead of a gem in its center.  
I stare at the eye. It has a red iris and seems to be looking at the ceiling. Suddenly the eye twitches, and its pupil turns to face me. Creepy.  
"Uh, oh wow. An eye. Awesome… Thanks.", I reply, my voice clearly lacking enthusiasm. "Tell Mr. Galliano, that this is the last time, that I came back to this damned city. If he wants to trade more, he will have to meet up with me somewhere else.", the actress instructs me. To call the city of Angels damned; she sure is crazy.  
"You don't like the city of fallen angels, actress?", I ask her. "But how will you become a famous actress, if you avoid Holly's Woods?" The actress just silently stares at me. I wonder what she's thinking about? "Anyways, I will give you an advice, young one, as a reward for your errand. Leave this city, if you can. The air is filled with a strange tension, something big is going to happen soon. I left this city before, due to this feeling, and soon after war broke out between the Camarilla and the Anarchs. The war came to a halt, so I returned to trade with your master. However, the tension is back again, even greater than before. I wouldn't have stayed here even for a night, if not for this ring. Unfortunately, this artifact is very important for my studies, which is why I took the risk for obtaining it."  
I obediently listen to her advice, even though I don't really get it. "Yeah, I'll think about it. Well, I have to go, Toodeloo!" Pisha bids me goodbye, and I hop to the cab.

Inside is cabman, already eagerly awaiting me. "Where to?", he inquires. "Missed me?", I counter-ask. "Extremely.", he replies teasingly with a slight smile.  
Yei, he is warming up to me. Though his answer was a total lie. "I missed you too, cab man. I missed you so much, that I even burned my driver's license." Cab man just raises a brow at me. "It's true! What kind of maniac would allow a ten-days-old baby to drive anyway? Those people are crazy!", I exclaim.  
My comment earns me another hard-to-detect smile from cab man. "So, where do you want to go now?", he inquires again. "Anywhere nice, with sugar and spice.  
How about the Mos Eisley Cantina? I want to drink with rebels!", I reply. Cab man starts the engine and we glide through the streets. Since I'm in a good mood, I start humming the Cantina-song. I glance at cab man from time to time, through the rearview mirror, but he silently concentrates on driving. Ah, his mysteriousness makes me all giddy. I'd really like to capture his treasure chest of secrets, but if even Captain Jack is unable to do so, how could I, a mere fledgling, succeed?  
Suddenly his gaze meets mine in the mirror, or at least it feels like our gazes met, it's hard to tell with the sunglasses. "We arrived.", his deep voice awakes me from my thoughts. "Huh? Oh. Ah, thanks cab man." I grab my bag and step out of the cab. "Now fly away!", I bid him goodbye, while handing him some cash.

In front of me is a rundown bar, with the letters 'Last Round' decorating its front. I head inside, and loud, harsh music greets me, in addition to weird looks from the hobos, bikers and other shabby-looking individuals, who inhabit the bar. Pity I didn't get the memo, that this place has a dress code, otherwise I would've dressed accordingly. I do a curtsey for the people staring at me, while replying their gazes with a smile and walk towards the stairs with my hips swinging to the beat of the music. "Bitch, where the hell do you think you are?", an always angry red head greets me. She suddenly appeared in front of me, so I thought she might have business with me, but she obviously mistook me for someone else. I'm not a canine after all. _Fledging her teeth at another fledgling. Some people never learn.  
_ "I'm no doggie, damned sail. And this is the cantina bar, is it not? When will they play the Cantina song? I LOVE that one.", I reply. Redhead fletches her teeth and glares at me, obviously unhappy with my response for some reason. Maybe she is the one she's been looking for? Mistaking me for herself, how crazy.  
"This is an Anarch bar, our territory. So, get your fucking Cammie-ass out of here, before I kick you out myself."  
Wow, someone was embraced while being on her period. Damn, I didn't bring any chocolate with me, that I can throw at her for a safe escape. I'll have to think of another way to escape her, before she annoys me to death. "Uh, oh, look! I saw a unicorn outside, massacring hobos, you should go and help your fellow friends!" Redhead just stares at me for a moment, in total shock, before she shouts, "BITCH! I FUCKIN KILL YOU!" Her fist comes flying to my face, and I land a few meters away on the floor. Pain spreads through my head and my face feels like a mess.  
I groan and spit some blood on the floor, when a hand appears in my field of vision. "You ok?", a charismatic voice asks me. I look up and spot a numbered man.  
I hesitatingly take his hand and get up. Behind him are two men holding back a roaring redhead. "Follow me, kiddo.", numbered man says. I obediently follow him upstairs. The screaming redhead is also dragged upstairs. Numbered man leans against a wall and faces me with crossed arms.  
"So, why are you here, kiddo?", he asks me calmly. I shrug. "Dunno. Just a whim, I guess?", I reply honestly. "Ah, but I did want to meet you, numbered man. Tell me your number!", I demand from him. Well, given that I'm surrounded by his allies, I'm not in a position, where I can give demands, however, I need to know his number. If he is the seven, then… "Names Nines.", he replies with piercing eyes. I ease up, upon hearing his name. So, he is the nine, not the seven.  
The seven is the natural enemy of Daddy, so I would have to be careful of the seven. _It's too early for us anyway, Sol._ I don't like that nickname. Use another! _But you are my Sol._ No, I won't accept that. The other voice just sniggers, and I turn my attention back to the three-times-three. "Ah, then that's good. Well then, that's all I wanted to know. I'll head back to the dance floor first, kay?", I chirp, whilst turning around. "Wait a moment." I stop in my steps and turn back. What now?  
"Why did you provoke Damsel? Furthermore, this place is Anarch territory, we don't welcome Cammies here." Number nine still sounds calm, so I don't feel threatened of him, even though I know, that I'm no match for him.  
"I didn't provoke her. I just tried to get her out of my sight, because she was annoying. Anyways, what's a Cammie?", I ask him. My response seems to amuse him, but he hides it behind his pokerface, as he replies, "A Cammie is short for Camarilla. You are the prince's new toy, are you not?"  
His piercing eyes closely observe me, as he watches my reaction towards his reply. "I'm no toy. I'm the one playing, not the one being played with. And I don't remember filling out a ballot.", I pout. The Camarilla is a political faction, and I'm allergic to politics, so there is no way I would've voted?  
"Yeah, I'm sure they didn't let you decide on anything. The Camarilla has the whole pyramid scheme thing going on after all. Listen newbie, I don't know what they told you, but the Camarilla is full of shit. They will use you, and if they don't need you anymore, they won't hesitate to dispose of you. Look, I knew your Sire, he was a cool guy. You can stay for a while, if you want, but don't cause any trouble. And apologize to Damsel. What did you tell her anyways, to make her rage so much?"  
I honestly recount every word I said to her. Nines turns to the forcefully-calmed-down Damsel with a slight grin, "Damsel, she's a Malk. They say weird shit like that all the time, no need to get angry at her." His voice is so soothing; I can't help but gaze at him in admiration.  
Damsel hesitates, before answering gruntingly, "I know. But, I mean, look at her! She is even wearing a fucking maid-uniform! As if she were fucking proud of being Valois' fucking slave!" Well, I have a lot of cleaning to do, so why wouldn't I wear a maid uniform? What's her problem with maids anyways, why is she discriminating them? I don't get it, but I decide to obey the charming number for now, so I turn to Damsel to apologize, "Sorry, that I lied about the unicorn massacring hobos. Actually, it's a failed artist. Those artist, first WWII, now modern art." Damned sail just rolls her eyes at me. "Yeah, right." Wow, this sail is really moody, first she's raging like a race car, and now she's all uninterested. It must be number nine's calming magic. I wonder, if he would teach me how to calm people with my tongue?  
I only know how to excite people with it…

I hang around for a while, and though I'm not exactly welcomed by the others, they at least accept my presence now. I don't care for the others anyways, I'm only hanging on Nines' lips, listening to his rambling how the Camarilla is a huge pile of shit, and the Anarchs are glorious fighters for freedom, and so on.  
"And then, after all what I've done for him, he just went and kissed Lacroix's fucking ass! Can you believe it? Fucking Ventrue and their goddamn hunger for power.  
I mean, I took pity on him, because he was sireless like you and me, but he still decided to follow that disgusting prick. I really hope, that you won't do the same mistake, newbie. That reminds me, I still don't know your name, kid?" "Ehm… Ah, it was Adeline Martell.", I reply smiling.  
"Adeline? Is it your human name? How odd, most Malks don't remember their human name, especially the crazier ones like you. And even if they do, kindred usually don't want others to know about their human past.", Nines muses. "Why? Do they fear having to stand in the corner, with a stupid paper-hat on their head, if the mysteries of their lively days are revealed?", I ask out of curiosity. Nines huffs. "You mean, whether they are ashamed of their human past, I guess? Probably.  
What about you?" I shrug. "I lived a pitiful, pathetic life. But I see no reason to wear my hat of shame?" Nines grins at me.  
"That's the spirit. Mind to tell me more?" I tilt my head, before answering, "Why does the three-times-three want to know this?"  
This time, number nine is the one to shrug his shoulders, before replying, "Don't know. Guess, I'm kinda curious, about who you were, before you became crazy? And I already told you about my human past." I nod. "Fair enough. I was just your normal boring girl, with an uncaring, royal father, a few evil stepmothers and an evil stepbrother instead of an evil stepsister. Really, just your typical family. And I worked, like a lot. That's all I can remember."  
I smile at him, proud at myself for remembering so much. I had to interrogate myself for countless hours to get this much information, it really wasn't an easy task. Nines seems a bit confused and sceptical, he's probably surprised, that I used to be such an ordinary person.  
"Thank you, we're the cantina band, if you have any request, shout them out! Play that same song. Alright, same song! Here we go…" I give Nines an apologetic look, while taking out my portable dimension device and answering the ringing, "You're speaking with the secretary of the society for janitors with a hidden love for puppies, how may I help you?" "Funny as always. Have you finished your task? I've been waiting for your arrival." Shit, it's the dark mage, and he sounds peevish.  
I totally forgot about that. "Ehehehe. Yes, I got that creepy thing.", I hastily reply. "Well? I'm waiting, why are you not here yet? Where are you?" Uh oh, he will probably be even more annoyed, if he knows, that I've been playing around with the Anarchs, right? "I was hungry, so…"  
"Then feed, and come here already. I'm tired of waiting for you.", he scolds me, before hanging up. I sigh. "Dark mage, scaaary.", I playfully complain to Nines.  
"You in trouble, kiddo?", he inquires nonchalantly. I didn't know, that numbers could be so compassionate.  
"Nah, I'm good. But someone else misses my presence dearly, I'll have to depart."

After I delivered the creepy amulet to the dark mage, I tried to talk up a little morsel for me, but all my awesome pick-up-lines failed for some reason. I'm beginning to think, that only boring people visit the empire. Since my mouth failed me in securing my food, I decide to rely on my hands instead, and caught myself a thug in a dark alley instead. After that I tried to earn myself some funny paper with pantomiming, but it didn't work, so I sold some of my magical medicine to some hooded hoodlum.

The next night dolphin prince invited me to his tea party. It's my first time at his tea party, so I'm super-excited, but there were no muffins or cupcakes, when I arrived. And he didn't serve me any tea. What kind of crappy tea party is this? "… therefore, I want you to find the offender and eliminate him. Do you understand?"  
Oh shit, I didn't listen to his long monologue, since I wasn't interested in his sorry excuses for the missing cupcakes. I have no idea, what he is talking about, but I need to answer. I'll have to think of something quick. "Ah, yes the offender. The artist, right? Those artist, first WWII, now modern art, am I right?"  
I use the same excuse as yesternight, while giggling nervously, since it worked so well last night. The prince looks at me puzzled. "Artist? You mean the murderer is an artist? Are you sure?" He gives me a doubtful look. "Ahahahaha… Naturally, the painted painter is interested in paint and painting?", I reply and give him an innocent smile. Did I manage to fool him? "So… you mean the killer is also dead? That means, he is kindred? So, it's just as I feared. Anyways, your insight seems to prove itself useful. I'm sure, that you'll be able to properly deal with this task in no time. Report back to me, as soon as you fulfilled your job. Well then, good evening."  
I think it's convenient, that the prince will interpret everything I say the way he wants. It spares me some trouble, since I don't have to mind my words to appease him. Not that I would mind my words in general, I like riding on the tide of my thoughts, simply blabbing whatever comes to my mind.  
The dolphin prince returns to his desk and continues playing with his dimension device. I take a look at his office. What about my cupcakes?  
I guess empress lied to me about the cupcakes. That bitch. Looks like I'll have to have a serious talk with myself later.

So, what to do now? Dolphy wants me to kill some artist, but where can I find one? Ah, the way to find an artist is through his art, isn't it? But there are so many painters and paintings… Well, if it is a painter, that Dolphy wants, then it must be a very famous one, right? Dolphy is no Toreador after all, Ventrue are only interested in powerful people, and only famous artists have at least a bit of influence.  
For now, I decide to visit The Last Round. The Anarchs I know are not exactly interested in art, so if there is an artist, who caught their attention, then it must be a really famous one. Therefore, I'm not going to The Last Round for fun, but for work. I said, I'm not! Though I am a bit hungry… An empty bag cannot stand up, so the first thing I do, after arriving at the cantina bar, is to find myself a little morsel.  
"Why are YOU here again? You stayed long enough last night, didn't you?" I turn around to the always angry redhead. I think, I'll call her lighthouse from now on, since there is always a fire burning in her. Well, only at night, but even the angriest Anarch has to go to bed by sunrise after all. "Yo, lighthouse. Good timing, come one, break bread with me.", I greet her lightly, while waving the wrist of my little morsel at her. "You… ugh. Whatever, let's go upstairs, Nines wanted to see you for some reason anyway." Lighthouse is clearly upset for some reason, as always, but I ignore it and happily follow her, dragging our bread with me.  
"Stop, not her. It's a private party, obviously. Learn some common sense, please.", she reprimands me. What is common sense? Doesn't sound tasty, so let's avoid it. "But you'll HAVE to break bread with me!", I pout. "Ugh, fine! Gosh, you're annoying. I don't understand, how Nines can stand your presence." Tsundere, much? Lighthouse obviously likes me. I knew it, the moment she threw that punch at me. There was so much passion in it.

Upstairs, lighthouse seemingly reluctant shares the morsel with me. Geez, still playing hard to get, she even stood as far away from me as possible, while drinking from the other wrist. Since my thirst is quenched for now, I decide to hang out a bit with darling no. 9. I mean, having a serious discussion with him.  
Yes, it's a totally serious meeting, I'm working hard right now, after all. "Yo, Nines, whaazup?", I greet him with a salute. "Nothing much, kiddo. Just a serial killer breaking the masquerade. I wanted to talk to you about that. You mentioned some artist or something massacring people, didn't you?"  
"Ten-minus-one is well versed in art? You saw one of his paintings?", I counter-ask him. "No, not me. But we send someone to investigate, if the latest killings could be connected to our kind. We get enough attention from the hunters as it is, after all. Turns out the victims were turned into grotesque works of art…" I nod pensively, while stroking my chin. What a crazy coincidence, that an artist appeared, just after I mentioned one. Must be the 'speaking of the devil'-magic.  
"Raining strawberries!", I chant. Nothing happens. Eh, maybe the magic needs some time to unfold. "Can you paint me a picture of the painting?", I ask Nines with an innocent smile. "Sure, here." Nines takes out his pocket dimension device and shows me some pictures of modern art. The painter used red paint and flesh to create a picture of death on large white sheets. I'm no fan of such modern art, to be honest, but I'm sure that this is to Dolphy's taste.  
"I'll be honest, modern art is not my thing. Someone should stop him and show him some real art. I am someone. Maybe I should?" Nines raises a brow at me.  
"Be careful, newbie. This little painter might be kindred. You sure, you're up to the task?" Who does he think I am? Not that I know that myself…  
"No worries. I can count to ten already.", I reply with a wink. Nines doesn't seem to mind my comment, he simply wished me good luck.  
 _Sometimes, it's really better, that no one is able to understand us.  
_ Hm? What are you talking about?  
 _Don't mind her, Sol._  
Stop calling me that! I hate that name!  
Anyways, since I fulfilled my goal of coming here, I should continue my travel now. Next stop: somewhere, where you can find artists. And we all know where that place is: coffee shops. And no, I'm not going there next, because I want to throw bread crumbs at random people. I'm going there for work. I said, I'm not!

The disappointing thing about Starbucks is, that there are neither stars, nor bucks here. The entertaining thing about Starbucks are the faces people make, when I throw bread crumbs at them. I'm currently hiding in a corner of the room and aim the fifth bread crumb at an older looking guy with designer stubble and black-grey hair. He's also wearing Steve-Jobs-ish glasses and a turtleneck, what a poser. I manage to hit his head again, and he turns around for the fifth time, with an even dumber expression than before, trying to detect me. Alas, he can't see me, because I'm obfuscating right now. Steve Jobs' poor imitation finally loses his nerves, packs his things up and leaves, while panicky looking behind him from time to time. Just as he exits through the door, a couple enters.  
The new arriving man glances at me shortly, before ordering an espresso con panna. An espresso con panna? That just screams 'Look at me, I totally drink such stuff'. The couple sits down at a table far away from me and begins chatting. I consider targeting the couple next, but I'm kind of bored of throwing bread crumbs at people – at least for now. What was it, that I wanted to do here originally, anyway? Oh well, it probably wasn't anything important.  
That reminds me, it has been some time, since I allowed my other selves some playtime, maybe I should let them decide, how to spend the rest of the night.


	8. The painter of death

**Chapter 7: The painter of death**

* * *

As I woke up the next night, empress made sure to remind me about the serial painter. Gosh, this painter is starting to annoy me. I'm not sure what to do next, but looking for his hideout sounds like a good idea, doesn't it? Well, the Lady of the Sea is known for being cruel, so the art of death should get a good review there, right? Yes, let's go there first.  
As I aimlessly stroll around Santa Monica, I come across some strange scrapyard. The letters 'Brothers Salvage' are adorning the entrance, which is guarded by a flying car. Are not all serial killers actually looking for salvation? After searching for an hour, I couldn't find any serial killers hiding in the scrapyard, but I'm not disappointed, since I found a tire iron instead.  
Anyways, all this running around made me hungry, time to grab myself a bite. The madhouse was entertaining last time; I should try my luck there. It doesn't take long, until I found my prey: a blonde surfer-boy, who smells like the sea. "Hey, are you an elevator?", I ask him, whilst giving him my most-seductive smile.  
"Wha? Am I an elevator? What are you talking about?", he replies with a confused expression. A giggle escapes my lips, but I manage to suppress it, before it turns into a full-out crazy laughter. "Yes, are you? Cause you lift my spirits up!" Surfer boy looks absolutely stunned for a moment, before he asks me with a grin, "Are you hitting on me?" Now I'm the one being stunned. "No? I'm not hitting you. But we can change that, if you like…" I wink at him.  
"No thanks, weirdo.", he replies and turns around. How rude! I only elaborated on his suggestion, I prefer biting over hitting anyways! Ah, but I really want to taste the sea… Well, since I'm wearing my maid uniform, I naturally brought my feather duster with me. After giving his head a good brush, I try picking him up again. "Excuse me? My apron is open; can you tie me up?", I purr, while turning my back with the untied apron bow towards him. "Whoa. Why are you wearing a maid uniform? And are you hitting on me?" WHY IS HE TALKING ABOUT HITTING AGAIN? "I'm coming straight from work, that's why I'm wearing my maid uniform. Anyways, do you like being hit on?" He looks at me in surprise. "Well, it's my first time being approached that way by a female. Usually, it's the other way around, isn't it? Guess it's nice to be hit on for a change. But you're a maid? Like a real one?", he asks me. Geez, he's a weird one. "You think I'm a fake one?" To be honest, I'm a bit hurt.  
Just a little though. "Well, no, it's just… you know… Ah, I didn't think you would be a stripper! Your outfit is way too modest for that!", he hastily replies.  
Why so flustered? Also, what's a stripper? I'll have to look it up later. "A- Anyways, so what are you up to tonight?", surfer boy asks me, suddenly acting all seductive. He's a funny one. "Oh, you know, the usual. Searching for someone passionate and dangerous. And then I came here to unwind a bit." Maybe I shouldn't inform an outsider about my quest of finding the serial artist of death, but frankly speaking, I don't care. "Well, why don't you try me? I can accompany you all night."  
Finally, some music in my ears! Apart from the goth music of course, which has been pounding in my ears for some time now.

"Oh, duckling it's you! And you got yourself a delicious little wave-hunter!" I withdraw my fangs from surfer boy's neck and lick his bite wounds, before replying to Jeanette, "Oh, it's the wild school girl. White daughter of Janus. Jeanette, was it?", I greet her. Even though it was like… days ago, that I met her, I still remember her name. I'm quite proud of myself, if I may say so. "Daughter of Janus, mhm? Oh by the way, have you met Therese already?", she asks me.  
I gently lean surfer boy next to the wall and approach Jeanette. "No, we were too busy these nights. Anyways, how were you rolling, since I was away? Did you have a lot of fun without me?" Jeanette giggles and softly strokes my cheek, while replying, "No need to pout, cotton candy. Therese didn't let me have much fun these days. She's afraid, that I would sabotage her precious little art exhibition, just because I've done so before, so she kept a close watch on me."  
I shake my head in empathy. "Watches are useless. They're supposed to tell the time, yet they never talk to me!" "Oh, I bet they don't. How rude of them. But enough about that, let's talk about us. Did I hunt you in your dreams, duckling?", she says, whilst smiling at me seductively. "Not that, however, we were diving for pearls together, in eve's costumes. But I want to hear a story of your naughtiness, daughter of Janus. What did you do to the black one?", I probe further.  
"Mhm? Oh, nothing much. I just mentioned her little project to a duckling like yourself, and he decided to cheer me up by himself. Maybe I should have mentioned, that the exhibition was under Therese's control. Oh well, everything turned out alright in the end, no harm done."  
 _Janus' daughter doesn't want to share the whole drama with us, what a bore.  
_ "Foolish duckling. Anyways, wanna groove?", I offer her. "Like a bee that has found a flower field. Let's go rattling our bones.", she accepts my offer and drags me to the dance floor. I end up spending the rest of the night dancing Chachacha and Discofox with Jeanette to the disturbingly pleasant sound of goth music.  
I also shared some of my imperial sky medicine with her. Time sure flies, if you take sky medicine.

Another night; another try. Thanks to Jeanette's info, I have another place to search for the painter of death: The art exhibition in Gallery Noir. A show by kindred for kindred – and kine. Before entering the stage of the night gallery, I made sure to satisfy my thirst by snacking upon a passerby in the parking lot first, in order to avoid my thirst distracting me from my work again. The exhibition itself was boring, as expected. I strolled around a bit, looking at the paintings.  
The topic of the exhibition seems to be something along the lines of 'the young pretty lady and the death'. I don't really get it, but surely no artist of death would miss this, right? "Do you enjoy this exhibition?" I turn around to the voice, which called out to me. Before me stands a woman in a grey suit and with glasses, her blond hair strictly pinned up. "Therese Voerman. I'm the operator of this exhibition. Nice to meet you.", she greets me, while extending a hand to me. I grab it and shake it. "Adeline Martell, it's a pleasure, dark daughter of Janus" I'm talking about finally meeting the dark one, not the art exhibition. I feel the need to clarify that, since it's been so boring here. "You are Henchman's Childe, aren't you? What brings you to Santa Monica?" I raise a brow at her. "You know one of us?", I ask her.  
It's a bit bothersome, not to know what the other me's do in their spare time, but following their every action is even more bothersome. "No, I was present then the prince introduced you to our society. Anyways, multiple personality disorder, is it? Must be hard to deal with. I hope, you won't try to use that as an excuse for causing trouble in Santa Monica though. I certainly don't want any attention brought to here, with all the hunters in L.A.", she remarks with an arrogant expression.  
"Has any one of me offended you before?", I ask back, slightly annoyed. "No, not yet, at least. But the last fledgling certainly caused me quite some trouble, so please don't mind my caution. Since you're still new to this, let me give you an advice: Don't anger those in power. And the one in power in Santa Monica happens to be me. Anyways, I hope you enjoy your stay here. Now, if you would excuse me, I still have to tend to the other guests." And with that, she disappears into the crowd.  
To be honest, I prefer the white daughter over the ebony one, I hope, that I won't have to deal much with her in the future.  
"Ah, this painting's composition is really lacking, there is no dynamic at all. And the strokes are quite sloppy. It looks like a bad imitation of 'The girl and the death' of Hans Baldung." I turn to the source of the noise, a young man with brown hair, blue eyes and a wine glass in his hand. "Yeah, you think so? I don't think it's that bad though…", his female companion, who seems to be a young artsy student as well, shyly comments.  
"Not that bad, seriously? Well, you're still a freshman after all. Anyways, want to go drink a coffee after this? I know this really great coffee shop.", artsy boy replies, full of pride and arrogance. What a funny guy, why so much confidence? "Ehm… I think I'll pass.", artsy girl politely refuses his offer. Artsy boy looks taken aback for a moment, but soon regains his composure. "Ah, I see. It's quite late already, isn't it?" I don't think she refused due to the time, artsy boy. Anyways, something else caught my attention. Next to artsy boy's shoes lies a white piece of paper. A business card? Neat, I'm a collector of those.  
"Excusez moi", I chirp and pick up the card. "That's all I wanted. Toodeloo." Artsy boy gives me a weird look, but I ignore it and head out.  
I'm too bored to wait any longer for the painter of death.

"Ugh, not you again.", lighthouse greets me. Amazing, how much she warmed up to me. "Yo, lighthouse, whaaazup?", I politely greet her back. "Just leave me alone, freak." I see, lighthouse is busy right now. Strange, she doesn't look busy to me. Anyways, why is she always hanging out here, doesn't she have anything to do? Geez, some people only play the whole night. Me? I'm a serious worker, working seriously, of course.  
"Yoyo, Nines, whaaazup?", I greet him, while jumping in front of him. "Back so soon, kiddo? Have you found your serial killer yet?", he casually asks me back. "I didn't have the luck of leprechauns. And I'm bored of playing Sherlock Holmes all night.", I reply honestly. "Bored already? Don't tell me you have already given up?", he asks me with a chuckle. I vehemently shake my head, while replying, "No! I just allow us to take a break. We've been working hard, we deserve it _."  
That's right Solitaire, children should just play to their heart's content._  
Whatever...  
"Really? So, what exactly have you been doing these nights?", he probes further. "Uh, just the usual investigation stuff. Like visiting random places, hunting for hints.", I answer him with an innocent smile. "So in other words, you've just been playing around. Wow, you're really a GREAT help.", lighthouse aka Damsel sarcastically remarks from behind me. "Lighthouse, if you sneak up on me, then I can't avoid your presence, you know?", I sternly scold her, whilst waggling my finger in her face, thereby completing the picture of a mother scolding her daughter. Lighthouse just clicks her tongue and demonstratively turns her face away from me, with crossed arms. Geez, raising a teenager sure is tiring. "I don't get, why you keep putting up with her. You can't seriously expect scatter-brain here to actually accomplish anything like finding the serial killer before our boys do.", lighthouse complains to Nines.  
"Damsel, you shouldn't underestimate the insight of Malkavians. To us, her actions might only seem like random acts of a lunatic, nonetheless, she might be much closer to finding the killer than we are.", Nines reprimands her warmly. "And even if she isn't. It's fun talking to her, am I not allowed to?", he playfully asks her.  
Damsel is dissatisfied with his answer, but she seems to direct her whole dissatisfaction towards me. Why is she so obsessed with me?  
Anyways, bad luck for her, but I prefer Nines. I can't help but look with admiration at him, since he praised me. At least most of my voices have the opinion, that he did. "Nines, you might call yourself a nine, but for me, you're a ten.", I confess to him bashfully. "Uhm… thanks, kiddo." Nines doesn't seem to know, how to deal with my sudden compliment, while Damsel deals with it the same way, she deals with everything else: by grinding her teeth in anger. Jealous, much? I knew it!  
She really has a crush on me! "Don't worry, lighthouse. You're still the greatest lighthouse for me. You're the number one person I would go to, if I would want to be shouted and scoffed at.", I console her with a wink. Lighthouse's fire lights up even more, but a glance at Nines causes her to suppress her burning anger.  
"Stupid, scatter-brained bimbo.", she mumbles while leaving again. Cute. "Well, looks like she doesn't like you.", Nines remarks with an apologizing smile. "Oh, she doesn't, does she? Or does she?", I comment mysteriously and giggle. Ah, it feels nice to be loved, even if my secret admirer is lighthouse.  
"Oh by the way, if I would want to see the paintings in the flesh, where would my feet go to?", I ask Nines. Hehe, 'in the flesh'. Get it? _No._ Tsk, you're lame, Bee.  
"The sites have been cleaned up by the police, if that is what you want to know. The pictures I got are from infiltrating the police." Ah, now he takes me for a fool.  
I take it back, the number nine fits you well! "No, no, I don't care about the doughnut-chasers. I'm interested in the place of production.", I patiently explain.  
"Ah, so that's what you meant. The first victim, a homeless man, was found in an abandoned building, near George's Liquor Store. The second victim and third victim, a young runaway mother with child, were found in the Jefferson Station Park&Ride. The fourth victim, a drug dealer, was found in a room of the Luckee Star Motel.  
The fifth victim was found on a parking lot in Santa Monica. The sixth victim was also found on a parking lot, but one in Downtown. The seventh to eighth victims, a family of four, were found in their home in Korea Town. The last victim was also found in his home, the Skyline Apartments.", Nines reports, without missing a beat.  
"Ah, so many victims, why is the painter still not famous?", I ask Nines perplexed.  
"Well, one reason is, that this 'painter' is quite good at hiding his trail. The victims and locations were all selected randomly and apart from some belongings of the victims, not even a footstep was left behind. In addition, the locations chosen are also a problem due to goddamn vampire politics. It's no problem for someone as young as you, but investigating in a foreign territory can be dangerous, the old ones feel easily threatened. And we usually wouldn't care about a serial killer to begin with, but the number of his victims has increased too much, too fast, the possibility of him being kindred forces us to act.", Nines explains to me.

 _Excuses, excuses, aren't the Anarchs simply too bad at investigation? But what else to expect from a bunch of rebels._

 _No, I have to object. The Anarchs might be lacking in organization a bit, but they DO care about what happens in their community. In addition, everyone hangs on Nines lips, who wouldn't want to please him?_

 _Haha, you said it, in more than one way…._

 _What are you talk- Oh! Ohh! No, no, I didn't mean it like that!_

 _Yeah, keep telling that to yourself._

Well, yeah, Nines is totally charming, so naturally, there are a lot of people wanting to satisfy his every wish, no?

 _Ah, darling, you're really innocent sometimes. But don't worry, it's cute in its own way._

How rude! I'm still a baby, not even a year old, of course I'm innocent! I haven't acted sinful in any way up until now, now have I? Well whatever, so long as I'm cute.

 _Wendy is also innocent! I haven't done anything wrong either. So, can I get candy? I want candy!_

"Adeline? Is everything ok, Adeline?" Nines voice draws my attention back. "Huh? Ah, yeah, we just had a small discussion. Anyways, so the next canvas is going to be the parking lot from the magical soap kingdom, huh? I love that place. I could spend hours there!", I enthusiastically exclaim. "Magical soap kingdom? I wonder what place you're talking about. Well whatever, good luck kid."

The letters 'Love Laundry' are decorating the magical soap kingdom, and I would love to enter it, but it looks like they don't welcome my kind here, the doors simply won't let me in. "I will conquer you. Someday, I will conquer you!", I snappily threat the kingdom. I try to enter again, but the doors still don't budge.  
"Argh!", I exclaim, while dramatically throwing my hands in the air. "Mark my words!" After giving the magical soap kingdom this last warning, I turn my back on it and go exploring the landing field of the magical soap kingdom.  
There is only one car left on the parking lot, and it is at the very end of it. Unsurprisingly, there is the finished canvas next to it. This time, the artist used a middle-aged woman's body to create the picture of a whirlwind. Reminds me of a washing machine. How uncreative, no wonder the artist isn't famous yet, despite his efforts.  
"Rest in pieces.", I solemnly say to the scattered organs, who once belonged to May Williams, and are now part of bad art. I wonder, if May regrets it, that she didn't become part of great art. She should have chosen her artist more carefully.  
The sound of sirens, not the pretty ones, pull my attention back to the present situation, and I retreat to the nearby dumpsters, where I squat down and obfuscate. Soon, the place is swarming with people, searching for doughnuts. One of the blue-clad officers is approaching my hiding place, but I look him in the eyes and slowly shake my head. He looks confused for a moment, but then continues his search somewhere else. Another one is taking pictures of the art piece.  
So the doughnut-lovers are also art-enthusiasts? Huh, the more you know… "Again, the victim was turned into 'art', huh. I don't know about you Doug, but these killings creep me more out than the usual ones.", one doughnut-lover says to the other. "Well, I don't know. A few years ago, I was on the case of the Southland Slasher. The murder scenes he left behind, didn't look like anything a human should be able to do.", the other replies. "What? The Southland Slasher? He had like what, four victims? And how could anything be more gruesome than this?", the one doubts. "He might not have had many victims, but the state he left his victims behind… They were ripped apart, as if a bear, or something like that, would've attacked them. Sure, these pieces of 'art' are disgusting, but at least they look like something a butcher could've done.", the other explains. "Man, I don't know. I think this wannabe artist is fucked up. I mean, the way he arranged the corpses, how could a corpse killed by an animal compare to this? And the fact, that we're not allowed to tell the media about the way the corpses are left behind? Talk about creepy." "I don't know, what the ones at the top thinking by hiding this, but I guess, they simply want to avoid spreading panic or something. Whatever the case, it's not our place to decide these things, you just have to follow the orders.", the other silences the one.  
The two of them continue to bicker for a while, until all the pieces of the corpse have been properly collected and the doughnut-lovers finally leave. I wait for a bit to make sure, that everyone left, before I stop obfuscating and head back to cab man. "And, have you found, what you were looking for?", cab man asks me.  
"A doughnut on a hidden leash, the whirlwind of death, a kingdom to conquer and a hint of hieroscopy.", I answer casually. "Now fly me to the goddess of love, Mister Mysterious. I want to celebrate with a drink, before going to bed."

Kitchen knife? Check. Brokk 17 C? Check. Surgery knife? Check. Bag of blood? Check. Stake? Check. Change of clothes? Oops. Well, whatever. I nervously grab my bag and look at the big picture of a smiling woman with dead eyes, presenting toothpaste to the street. The painter is hiding behind a fake smile. It should be the room on the fourth floor, right? What if the voice lied? What if the voice was Woodboy, trying to deceive me again? Well, there is just one way to find out.  
I head inside, go to the fourth floor, and slowly approach the room towards the street. I lightly knock on the door, and after a while it opens, though only for a tiny crack. The suspicious eyes of a middle-aged man with scruffy stubbles observe me through the crack. "What do you want?", he grunts.  
My eyes widen in surprise at recognizing him. "Espresso con panna!", I exclaim, before hastily shutting my mouth with my hands. The man looks at me in confusion, and I exploit his stupefaction to tear the door open with one hand, while my other searches for my Brokk. The artist takes a step behind and reaches for his own gun on his back, but I'm already aiming at his head. My bullet penetrates his left eye and the recoil causes him to take another step back. I curiously observe his staggering, but suddenly he begins laughing madly. "You messed with the wrong guy, bitch!", he exclaims, as he points his gun at me.  
'Ah, but you're obviously the right guy?', I think, while my head is thrown behind by his bullet. I adjust my head back and grab the stake. The artist is stunned for a short moment, apparently not expecting me to be the same as him, and I don't give him the time to compose himself, as I lunge forward, aiming the stake at his chest. My stake pricks his chest, causing him to groan, but it didn't hit his heart. I hiss, as his bullets penetrate my lower abdomen, but I ignore the pain and retract my stake, only to drill it into his chest again, this time hitting his heart. The artist movements freeze, and I can see the shock in his eyes, as he realizes, that he is unable to move. With this, it is my victory, so I give him a sweet smile. "I'm the one, who laughs!", I snappily explain to him.  
I get up from him and close the door behind me, in case one of his neighbors becomes curious. "Soo… you thought, one death would be enough to become a famous artist? Don't you know, that for our kind, two deaths are needed for becoming famous?" I wait for his answer, but he just looks at me, with eyes full of hate.  
Oh right, he can't move. I forgot. Well, whatever, I should finish this fast. I take out my kitchen knife and look from it to the artist's neck and back. Yup, my knife is definitely too small for this task. "Mind if I borrow one of your paintbrushes?", I ask him. He doesn't object, so I take a saw out of a bag next to his bed. The look in his eyes changes from hate to panic, as I slowly approach him, with the saw in my hands. "Don't worry, I will turn you into a real piece of art.", I whisper in his ear, as I begin sawing his head off. I sweep his ashes up and fill it in an empty lunchbox and take a last look at his small apartment. A book under his bed catches my attention, so I crouch down to get it. I take my stuff and hurriedly leave, as I can already hear the sirens of the doughnut-lovers.


	9. Gift exchange

**Chapter 8: Gift exchange**

* * *

"Ugh, great, you're hanging out with Nines, AGAIN. What about the serial killer, hm? When will you finally eliminate him?", lighthouse greets me, shortly after I started trading words with Nines. Geez, it's embarrassing to be loved that passionately. I would surely blush, if I weren't so dead. Feeling shy, due to lighthouse's passionate feelings for me, I start to fidget and avoid her strong gaze, while handing her a prettily wrapped box with a red-white pointed ribbon.  
"… What is this?", she asks me, looking confused and suspecting. "A gift for you.", I reply shyly. She finally takes my present, without moving her gaze away from me. "… An ashtray?", she dryly comments. I stop avoiding her gaze and give her an innocent smile. "It's real modern art, made of fake artists.", I calmly explain to her.  
She looks at me stunned. "You…!" "You did it? Congratulations, newbie.", Nines congratulates me, while lighthouse is still searching for words.  
"Ehehehe. Yes. And I turned him into art. I think, he would've liked it. The ash symbolizes his trashy art, and the ashtray symbolizes the dumpster, he belongs into.", I enthusiastically explain. "Wait, wait. How do we know you got the right guy? What if you just randomly killed an innocent kindred?", lighthouse interjects. I roll my eyes at her. "It's obviously the right guy. I mean, he ordered an espresso con panna in a coffee shop."  
"How can you, based on that, conclude, that he was the killer?", lighthouse complains with crossed arms. "Look, I even found his art book in his room, after I killed him.", I calm her, whilst waving the book, which I found under his bed. "Want to take a look at it?", I offer her. She grabs the book and randomly opens a page. "Damn", she swears quietly, upon seeing the picture of his painting, next to a detailed analysis of his own work from him, which highlights all the artsy things his painting displays, like its dynamic composition. "Ok. You see, this isn't easy for me, so listen closely. Thanks. I guess, you did a good job, somehow.", lighthouse reluctantly says. "Your words of gratitude are much appreciated. But don't worry too much about my gift, I still have enough ash left for another one. I hope the prince will like the pink bow I chose for him.", I reply lightly. Suddenly her and Nines' expression turn grim.  
"You were working for the prince all along? I knew you couldn't be trusted, fucking Cammy. Fuck off, before I rip your heart out!", lighthouse angrily yells at me.  
"You better leave, kiddo.", Nines agrees. Bewildered by the sudden change in the atmosphere, my gaze jumps between Nines and lighthouse, but their angry expressions indicate, that it wasn't meant as a joke. What happened? I fulfilled the task, did I not? Why are they angry at me? It's not fair!  
"Are kindred's heads made from cupboards? Because all of you only think in drawers!", I furiously rebuke them. I pry my art book out of lighthouse's hands and stomp to the window. I angrily bid them goodbye with a 'Toodeloo!', before jumping outside. I lightly land on the ground and straighten my back. Anarchs? I don't need them. I've got myself, and we are many, so how could I ever grow lonely? Time to present the prince my present.

"What is this?", Dolphy asks me, as he stares at the small box in my hands, which is wrapped in teddy bear wrapping paper and adorned with a pink bow.  
"A present. Open it!", I answer him cheerfully. Who would care about some stupid Anarchs, who don't know how to appreciate me? Dolphy pensively stares at me, and I return his gaze with an innocent smile. After a while, he finally takes the present and carefully opens it. "… An ashtray?", he asks with a raised eyebrow.  
"No! It's art! Made from real artists!", I reply. The part about 'real artists' is a lie, but given Dolphy's taste in art, he probably won't notice. "You finally finished the task I gave you. Good job. Here is your reward.", he says, as he hands me an envelope filled with money.  
"The prince's gratitude is much welcomed. Maybe a small bonus will be included?" Dolphy's eyes narrow, upon hearing my answer, but he gestures me to state my requests anyway. "How about breaking bread with this one?" "Oh, what about your Anarch friends? You don't want to join them instead?", he asks me.  
 _Petty prince is jealous._  
My eyes widen in surprise at his question. "What, you thought, I wouldn't know? Keeping an eye on what is happening in kindred community is a must for every prince. There is little, that I don't know.", Dolphy arrogantly comments.  
 _Nasty eyes, always watchful._  
In other words, he cares enough about me to observe, who I'm hanging out with. I'm moved. As I thought, I can count on the prince. So long as I'm still useful to him, he will never throw me away. And that is the greatest loyalty you can expect in kindred society. "Anarchy, it sounds like fun, but there is enough chaos in my head already.", I solemnly state. The prince nods in satisfaction upon hearing my answer. "It's good, that you understand. I will grant you your wish this time. How about my secretary from last time?", he offers me with a charming smile. "Yes, yes, yes!", I exclaim, while clapping my hands in anticipation.

After my royal dinner, I return to the dumpster, I'm forced to call my haven. The night is still young, but I'm not in the mood for conquering it. To fight my boredom, I turn on the radio and listen to 'The Deb of Night'.  
"I'm back, did you miss me? Well, I will make it up to you now. Let's see who's next. Ah, caller three, you're the lucky one."  
"Hello Deb. It's an honor for me."  
"Oh my, aren't you polite. So, what's the name of this gentleman?"  
"You can call me… Allen. And by the way, I'm your greatest fan."  
"Thank you. So, what are you up to right now, _Allen_?"  
"Well, I'm a guard on nightshift, and you know, things get boring here really quick. But fortunately, I have your voice to keep me company. Listening to your sexy voice always cheers me up. And my mood, isn't the only thing, that goes up, if you know, what I mean."  
"Ever heard of too much information? Line two, you're next."  
"Hi, Deb. I'm Rob."  
"Ok Rob, what do you do for a living?"  
"I'm making art movies, Deb."  
"Oh great, another self-proclaimed artist. Any movie of yours that I know of?"  
"Ah no, Deb, there are not many people, who get my art, since it's too progressive. It still takes some time for society to grow, before I'll become famous."  
"Yeah, keep telling that to yourself. Geez, why is everyone in this city calling themselves an 'artist', or a 'writer'? What's bad about a normal job, like a police officer, or a nurse, or something? Alright, line five, this is your chance."  
"Oh hello Deb!"  
"A girl? How rare. Now tell us, what do you do?"  
"Uh, I'm a professional dancer."  
"A professional dancer? I see. And why did you call me tonight?"  
"Ah you see, there is this one… costumer of me, and he really liked my dance, and then he suddenly proposed to me! And I'm really, really happy about that, but I'm not sure, whether I really want to marry him, since I don't know him that well…"  
"Oh no, listen to me darling, you can't marry some random 'costumer' of yours, just because he proposed to you. Marriage should be based on honest feelings, and not the fear of being left alone. And since I'm already advising you, I might as well give you another advice: quit your 'dancing'. Otherwise you won't be able to pay your bills, once you grow old. Alright, I need another break. Don't worry, I'll be back soon, to sweep away your loneliness."  
While listening to the commercials, I browse through the art book. Huh? That's strange, the painter forgot to take a few pictures.

A sunrise and a sunset later, Dolphy already found me another mission to fight my boredom. Though his consideration for my need of entertainment moves me, I decide to play around a bit, before going on my next quest. I still have a kingdom to conquer after all. I watch the laundry going round and round in the magical soap kingdom, when a voice suddenly demands my attention. "It's you! I finally found you." I turn to the source of the voice.  
A young woman with rainbow hair stares at me in admiration. "Oh? It's me! You finally found me. What took you so long, little goddess?", I ask her. "I… you just drew a heart with a whirl of clothes in it. It took some time for me to recognize the clothes as such. And even then, how come I didn't find you, the first time I came here? Do you always hang out here? What do you do in your spare time? Can I… Can I hang out with you?", rainbow goddess fires one question after the other at me.  
"It's my first time here, but I was waiting for you. And of course we can hang out, I love hanging. Otherwise I wouldn't have told you where to find me, stupid. I always wanted a pet anyways.", I reply cheerfully. "Ah… I don't understand, but I'm happy. I… What did you do to me? I kept dreaming about you, yearning for you.", the confused rainbow mutters. "Hush hush. Not here. Let's sail to your place first. I know a ship that can take us, in case you didn't bring your own."

My little rainbow goddess lives in the Skyline Apartments, on the fifth floor. "What a fitting place for a ghoul.", I remark, as I explore her place. Compared to my haven, her place is neat and tidy, though the furniture has the mark of other people. She has a grey couch, a modern carpet held in blue, grey and white, with a glass couch table and a flat screen TV in her living room, including an open kitchen, also mostly held in white. On the second floor is her workplace, with a white desk, desk chair, laptop and countless papers spread over it. But the most important thing is Judy, the tailor's dummy standing in the corner.  
"You're a dressmaker?", I ask her full of anticipation. "Yeah… Well, not yet. I'm currently still learning; I want to become a designer. I used to make cosplay outfits all the time in high school, so it's not like I don't know how to use the sewing machine, but I currently study fashion design. My dream is to have my own fashion line someday." I give her my biggest smile. "I knew, that I would pick up a real treasure in the magical soap kingdom.", I compliment her.  
She seems confused, but smiles anyways upon seeing my smile. "Now show me the place of rest, to see if we can rest together.", I command her. Rainbow goddess seems unusual shy, as she leads me to her bedroom. She has a big double bed, with extra pillows, perfect for a pillow fight.  
In addition, she has an accessible wardrobe, big enough for a coffin, and a bathroom next to her bedroom, with a bathtub, which can also be used as a shower. "That's it, you convinced me. I will move in, my little treasured rainbow.", I proudly declare.  
"What? You will move in? Ah, I don't have a problem with it, actually, I'm happy, to be able to spend more time with you.", she replies flustered. "I didn't expect any objection anyway; the chains of fate bound us after all. Now, come here, little morsel. I want to taste the rainbow."

After taking a sip from my new pet, I head back to my old haven to get all my stuff. When I arrive at her door, rainbow already woke up again. "Ah, you! I was afraid, that you were just a dream, but here you are.", she greets me warmly. Ah home, sweet home. "Yes, here we are. And we got our stuff. You may quench your curiosity about the elusive me, while I merge my stuff with yours.", I offer her. First, she asks those boring questions, like 'What's your name?' and 'What's your occupation?', or 'Why are you moving in with me?', but we eventually reach the important question. "What did you do to me? Why do I keep dreaming of you?"  
I ponder over her question, as I put the art book and my card collection in the small cupboard in her dresser. The cupboard is something I brought with me, I don't want my books to be accidently read by her after all. "I fed you my dark ambrosia, thereby prolonging the ticking of your clock. As a consequence, you're bound to me now, by fate. I could cut this thread, which binds us, but I don't want to.", I explain to her. "Do you want the thread to be cut, little rainbow?", I add my own question to the answer. "I… No! I don't want you to leave me. I want to stay with you. But I still don't understand. You saved my life? But what do you mean by dark ambrosia? What do you mean by fate?" The helpless look of confusion my pet makes, really is too cute. Makes me want to not lift her veil of confusion, but my pet needs to understand its situation.  
"Fate is woven by a red threat. The paint, that dyes the thread red, is blood. You drank my blood, causing your fate to become connected to mine. My kind calls people like you 'Ghoul'.", I calmly explain to her. "What?! I drank your blood? And what do you mean by 'your kind'? Why does drinking your blood connect our fates?"  
I shake my head in disappointment, since my pet still doesn't get it. "I'm a vampire, of course drinking vampire blood changes your fate? The thread, which was only dyed by your blood, is now dyed by your blood and mine. Anyways, I'm awesome, right? Can you make me a cape? They didn't give me one. Probably, because I'm an orphan, I bet the others got theirs from their Sire. They just don't show me their capes, so that I won't get jealous."  
While I ramble on and on about my cape, rainbow pet stares at me in shock. "In conclusion, the outer layer needs to be black and the inner layer needs to be funky. You got that? Maybe you should get pen and paper, I have more orders, apart from my cape. Ah, by the way, we don't call ourselves Vampire, but kindred, so writing vampire on my clothes is a no-no.", I further instruct her. Finally, she snaps out of it. "Ah? Oh, ok. But I don't have much money left. Ah nevermind, I will work hard, I'll get the money, somehow. Maybe I should quit my studies?", rainbow pet replies. "No worries. Continue your studies, I want you to become better at making my clothes, after all. And about the green stuff, I still got some treasures left, just use that. Hm, maybe I should get a job? Ah, but working is boring! Though Nines said, that strippers would be people, who get paid for dancing, and I like dancing, so maybe I should become a stripper? Ah, that reminds me, I still have a mission to fulfil, let's go with that first."  
I bid my always confused pet goodbye and head out towards the natural history museum of Los Angeles County.  
Apparently, some scientist or so got his hands on a kindred relict and Dolphy ordered me to retrieve it, before he notices how magical this magic item is.

The museum doesn't seem to welcome my kind, as the doors are locked, but fortunately, the prince send me a lost little key. I wonder, what happened to the key chain? Did it abandon the key? Did the key run away? We will never know.  
I silently sneak through the dark corridors, stopping from time to time to listen to the echo of footsteps. Who else, besides us, likes to visit the museum at night? Maybe the doughnut-lovers? They seem to be night-active as well, after all. But no, there is no scent of sugar in the air, there shouldn't be any doughnuts here, so how could there be any doughnut-lovers? Ah, but the ones roaming these halls seem to have much in common with the doughnut-lovers, I shall avoid them.  
I soon reach the door, which leads to the main exhibition hall. The exhibition hall is a magical place, with windows to the past.  
Of course, I'll have to inspect every single window! The poor imitations of doughnut-lovers disturb my joyous travel from time to time, but I don't pay them much mind, simply hiding, whenever they come near me. I had to obfuscate a few times, because I was too engrossed in reading the information signs to notice them soon enough, however all went well and I wasn't detected once.  
After having seen everything, I wander around aimlessly, searching for a new form of entertainment. Why did I come here again? Whatever, it probably doesn't matter, some of my voices say. Empress seems angry and annoyed at something, I wonder why? Mysterious. Just as mysterious as this door with the inscription 'Staff only'. What's with this discrimination? Are there secrets hidden behind, which they don't want me to see? Well, too bad I'm born a rebel.  
 _Yeah, sure, that's why you're been running around, doing errands the whole time. Open your eyes, sweet cheeks, you're like a dog, wagging its tail at whoever doesn't abandon it_.  
No! That's not true! I only give favors to people, who I like.  
 _And you just happen to like the prince of all people? The cold-hearted prince, who is only loyal to himself and who treats everyone besides him as pawns on his chessboard?_ Well, I happen to have a thing for cold-blooded, arrogant people, who look down on others, don't judge me! And to prove, that I'm a rebel, I will conquer this mystical land of staffs. I wonder if they have wands besides staffs as well? The mystical staff land is filled with dead eyes, so I have to obfuscate a lot.  
 _Dead eyes? Just call them cameras, for god's sake!  
_ Well, too bad, I don't care about god's sake, so no, never!  
Anyways, my throat starts getting hot, I'm quite thirsty? Maybe I should take a bite from one of the guards? Ah, but something tells me, that it wouldn't be a good idea. After sneaking through some corridors, a corridor filled with office doors appears. I wonder, which one is the one with the relict? I randomly choose a door and enter the office, after persuading the door with my magical door opener. Oh my, found it. What a coincidence. I stuff the relict, the figurine of a ballerina, made of white porcelain, in my bag and sneak away in the same way I came in. As I leave the big old building, my vision suddenly reddens…

A hand suddenly grabs my neck and pulls me away, thereby calling me back to reality. "Careful kiddo, you're draining him.", a rough voice reprimands me with a laugh.  
I growl in response; the beast isn't caged yet. A sudden slap across my face, violently slams the door to beast's cage, allowing me to fully return to my senses.  
My confused gaze wanders towards my savior. He looks like the love child of a pirate and a biker: manly, hairy, dirty and with a fetish for leather vests.  
With his appearance, the lack of smell of alcohol is kind of confusing. Like a flower, that smells of cigar smoke.  
"You must be the famous pirate, Captain Jack? Not the sparrow, not Jack Daniels, who are you?", I inquire. My question earns me another rough laugh.  
"Ah, Malkavians. Gotta love them. You're right, I'm Jack. And more importantly, I just saved your precious little ass from messing up. Did the Camarilla not teach you about the beast? You were frenzying, kiddo."  
 _A ticking box, the smell of a grave. The one who laughs the last laugh, enjoys the play from a distance.  
_ "Yeah, I would bow to you in gratitude, but my feet happen to still dangle in the air.", I nonchalantly remark. I don't necessarily mind being hung in the air by my neck, this sure changes my perspective in a way, but I'm getting bored of not being able to do anything. To underline my point, I flounder my feet around a bit.  
With yet another short laugh, Jack loosens his grip. Since the distance is small, I land without problems.  
While stroking my neck a bit and straighten my back, I comment a bit miffed, "You laugh so much, you should be called 'laughing Jack', or at least 'smiling'."  
Jack grins at me, while replying with a shrug, "'Smiling Jack' is a nickname of mine. And what do they call you, kiddo?"  
Since I'm still a bit dizzy from my blood rage, I need a minute to remember the name, which we chose to give to others. "'Adeline Martel', is what we call ourselves officially." "Huh. Not quite the name I expected from a Malk." Why? What's wrong with my name? Jeanette and Ingrid also have boring names, no? Oh well…  
"Since it's a boring name, I forget it from time to time.", I confess with my head held high.  
"Ha, I bet you do, kiddo. Anyway, what have you been up to, that made you forget to feed?", he asks me. "Eh, just one of these boring quests, where you have to retrieve an item, without even getting much XP for it. Such a waste of my precious time.", I honestly reply. There's no reason not to tell him, right?  
His disheveled look totally reeks of anarchy, but in contrast to certain other people, I'm not a cupboard, thinking in drawers. "Ha, I bet that's all you do these nights, getting ordered around by everyone, who's a week older than you. Ain't easy being a sireless Childe, am I right?", he teases me.  
He sure seems to be in a good mood, and I don't know how to feel about that.  
 _A guide for the freshly hatched.  
_ "Smiling Jack knows this orphan?", I inquire out of curiosity. Why does everyone seem to know my face? Even though I have so many faces… "News travel fast in kindred society. I wasn't there, when the prince presented you, but you caused a lot of rumors." Ah, I shouldn't have underestimated my popularity.  
Being a cheerleader is slowly becoming annoying, being a maid is also getting boring. I need a new role to play!  
"Rumors, huh? What kind of words are traded about me, I wonder?", I probe further. "That you found and eliminated the serial killer for example. Nines and the others sure were pissed, that you used them, while working for the prince.", Jack replies with a shrug. Being reminded about the block heads of the 'Last Round', I furrow my brows in anger. "I worked for them as well, no? The painter is dead, everyone should be happy, so what's their problem? Ah, but how come the smiling one isn't pissed? You're not as unreasonable as your brothers?" I give the biker-pirate a questioning look. As I said, my head is not made of cupboards, but it is still suspicious, how calm he seems to be, despite his friends being such spitfires.  
"You gotta do, what you gotta do, right kiddo? I know, that a fledgling like you doesn't have much of a choice. Even we are forced to coexist with the Camarilla for now, someone without any support like you is naturally forced to listen to their orders. Doesn't mean you support them though. Of course, there have been other fledglings like you and some rebelled as much as they could, but in the end, they died, while we weren't able to do much for them.", he explains. He doesn't really seem sorry for those wannabe-comrades, who died in vain.  
 _No tears for the young ones.  
_ "The falling of your comrades isn't your business?", I ask him with a raised eyebrow. "No, I wouldn't put it like that. We simply don't have the manpower to save every fledgling, who decided to openly go against the Camarilla. We can't afford to lose our temporary truce for some kid, otherwise we would be in a war right now. Our numbers have diminished too much to pose a threat to the prince and with the hunters swarming around, we can't afford to catch too much attention anyways."  
I see. Somehow I thought, that Anarchs wouldn't mind dying pointlessly in their fight for freedom. I apologize, I will better myself.  
"My picture is clearer now. It was interesting talking to you, Smiling Jack, even though I usually have to throw up from too much politics." "Yeah, politics, that's the stuff that'll kill ya.", he comments amused. "I have to sail to other oceans now, but before I set out, take this as a sign of my gratitude, for reigning in the beast.", I say, while handing him a part of my precious business card collection. "… Uh… thanks.", he replies, before finally accepting my present.  
"It's very precious to me, so don't simply throw it away!", I scold him. "Well, if it is so important to you, why don't you keep it, kiddo?", he replies, while trying to hand me back my card. "No, you keep it. I can see, how badly you need it. Toodeloo."  
Afterwards, I grab myself a bite, before I deliver the item. Then I head back to my new haven, where I spent the rest of the night.


	10. The land of stars and wonders

**Chapter 9: The land of stars and wonders  
**

* * *

"Where to?", cab man asks me, as I jump on the backseat. "Cab man, did you know, that one can earn money by dancing?", I counter-ask him, completely ignoring his question. "Yes." Ah, dammit. I wanted to tell him something he didn't know. "Cab man, you're truly knowledgeable and mysterious.", I praise him, though I feel disappointed. "So, where to?", cab man tries again. "Somewhere hot. Stupid Nines said, that the dancers would have to be hot, in order to actually earn money by dancing. Oh, I know! A volcano! Let's sail to a Volcano. I heard, that there is one in Holly's Woods.", I answer obediently.  
"Anyway, have you tried earning money by dancing before, cab man?", I inquire. "No. And I prefer driving people towards their destination." Oh boy, here it comes: cab man's fiery passion for cab driving. "The nightly routine doesn't bore you? Ourselves are very weak to repeating routines."  
"The people I drive are not the same, and their stories can be quite interesting. I am not bored yet, but maybe I will be someday. If that night comes, then I will naturally change my occupation." I see. Cab man might stop being a third-class superhero somewhere in the future. It's hard to picture him doing something else instead. What kind of occupation would he do, if he couldn't be cab man any longer? He didn't seem interested in dancing for some reason…  
"If cab man couldn't be a superhero anymore… what would he do?", I ask him directly. I was never good in holding back my curiosity. "Who knows. Maybe become a villain?", he answers amused. "Villain, eh? Then you definitely need to practice your evil laughter! The evil laughter makes or breaks a villain. I still haven't figured out my signature evil laugh, it's really a difficult choice. It needs to be evil, recognizable and distinct after all.", I muse, while scratching my chin. "… I will keep it in mind."

Before I step on the hot lava to show off my amazing dance moves, I carefully observe the room. Only females seem to be dancing, while the males are only watching. Weird. But the females, who wear not much clothes, probably due to the lava, have money stuffed into their garments, so what Nines said must have been true.  
I smooth down my blouse and take a deep (but unnecessary) breath, before I step on the lava stage. To be honest, I expected the lava to be more… fluid and hot.  
I mean, my shoes aren't even melting! But now is not the time to be feeling disappointed, I should start dancing.  
However, there are so many dance styles to choose from! I could do the Cossack dance, or the funky chicken dance. The other strippers all seem to prefer some weird belly dance or something, but I want to stand out after all. Though the ones dancing on the pole seem to have a lot of fun… Alright, to the pole it is!  
I run towards the nearest pole and jump in the air, just before reaching it. I grab the pole with one hand, causing my body to spin around it in midair. The impulse was only enough for one round, but I grab the pole with my other hand as well and lift my body up in the air again with great difficulty, while straightening my body. Now if you tilt your head, wouldn't it look as if I would hold up a simple metal rod?  
"Excuse me, Missy? You're not supposed to be up here. The manager wants to see you.", a cute blond girl tells me. Her innocent look seems strangely out of place here, I wonder why. I relax my body, thereby putting my feet back on the lava floor. "Alright.", I answer her with a smile, since she asked me nicely.  
I obediently follow the blond angel towards the bar, where she instructs me to go upstairs.  
Upstairs is another dancer waiting for me, with dazzling red hair. Like the other dancers, she is also wearing lingerie. I wonder what she wants from me?  
Maybe my dancing was bad, so they decided to instruct me on how to dance properly? "Ah, what a cute little thing you are. I wanted to see you up close, as soon as you stepped into my club. Apart from that, I wanted to warn you, my club is infested with hunters, unfortunately. It would be wise, not to draw too much attention to yourself, while you're here. ", the red woman purrs.  
 _Lovely food and friendly horror. The dish is in the oven, but it won't be to your taste_.  
"Hunters, it's always hunters this and hunters that. Here I got my hopes up, expecting a lovely conversation with the lovely doll, but no! It's hunters instead.", I pout. "Was that your wish? Your interest in my person flatters me. I'm sorry, that I brought your mood down, I would also like a long and deep talk with you, but the hunters are not to be messed with. A few years ago, we also had a lot of hunters here in L.A., especially in Hollywood. They nearly got me. I had to hide for some time and leave my club to my ghoul. I even had to dye my treasured red hair brown for some time to escape their field of vision. I managed to avoid being identified as a vampire, but not everyone was as lucky as I. And just when I wanted to return to the spotlight, the hunters came back."  
Must be hard for a Toreador, to stop mingling with puny humans. I don't even know, if she really is a Toreador, but c'mon. She said 'spotlight'.  
"Hunters hunt dancers? What do they have against dancers?", I ask her. "There aren't many jobs kindred like us can do, due to our time restrictions, so they naturally mostly observe clubs and bars. They won't simply attack people for working a night job, but if you catch their attention, they might identify you as kindred. And once you're on their list, escaping will be difficult.", she patiently explains to me.  
 _The phoenix got his dearest, dreadful wish fulfilled._  
"I see. But enough already of boring hunters, what about you?", I inquire, while looking into her beautiful grey eyes. "Ah, how rude of me. I'm Velvet Velour. You can call me Miss Velour. And you are? I haven't seen your face before." Velvet, Susan, Miss Velour, V.V., this Toreador also has lots of different names. This is something we have in common. Though I have way more names than her. "The name we usually give to others is 'Adeline Martell'. You can use that name to address all of me.", I return her self-introduction with a playful curtsey. "You seem young. Are you new to Hollywood?", she asks me. "I'm spick and span in Holly's Wood. The volcano is my first stop on my sightseeing tour.", I answer her. "Wait, you haven't visited Isaac yet? You need to announce your presence to the ruler of a domain first, before playing around.", she softly reprimands me. "Holly's Wood doesn't belong to the dolphin prince? What is an 'Isaac'?", I ask her, while tilting my head questioningly. "Isaac Abrams is the Baron of Hollywood. And he is someone, who I hold in high regards, so please don't cause him any trouble.", Velvet answers.  
Her expression softens, as she talks about Isaac, she must really like him. "I see. Then I will go on a treasure hunt, to find the precious baron.", I promise her with a smile.

I set off to my new quest to quickly get done with it and return to Velvet. I like her voice, so I want to listen to it longer. Deb's voice is even better though… "Ey, haven't seen you here before, and if I ha-"  
"Yes, yes, I'm on my way, sailing to treasure island, looking for that treasure chest. No need to draw me a map. I can find this 'Isaac', without your help.", I interrupt the bulky goon, who approached me. "… Down the street, the jewelry store.", he unnecessarily adds, before disappearing. Duh, where else to find such a treasured person?  
"Good evening, treasure baron.", I greet the grey-haired man with a curtsey. "Welcome in my barony, kindred. And thank you for abiding by traditions and announcing your arrival in my domain. I'm Isaac Abrams, the baron of Hollywood.", treasure baron returns my greeting.  
 _Father of regret and fallen stars.  
_ "How may I address you?", he asks me politely. "Adeline Martell." "Ah, it's rare to meet a fledgling with such good manners. You see, I'm quite old-fashioned and appreciate politeness. I also like to hold onto traditions. Tradition dictates, that visitors not only announce their arrival, but also pay a token of respect to the ruler of the domain.", the treasure baron explains to me. He wants to play fetch with us, doesn't he? Why is everyone mistaking me for a dog?  
 _It's not really strange, considering how you do whatever someone tells you to do._  
Shut up.  
 _Does the truth offend you?_  
No, but you start to annoy me.  
 _Oh, so I'm the annoying one? Not the people you're serving, or you, who behaves like an obedient dog?_  
Shut your mouth, or I will shut it for you.  
 _And how are you going to do that? I don't have a mouth after all, there is no way you could silence me?_  
Trust me, I will find a way to silence you, if I have to.  
"Not too difficult a task, right?", treasure baron finishes his instruction. "…Yeah. Easy peasy. I totally know now, what I have to do.", I hastily reply. Treasure baron just stares at me in silence for a moment, but decides not to question me any further. That was close, he nearly noticed, that I didn't listen to him at all.  
"Do you have any questions?", he asks me sternly. "Yes! What games does the treasure baron play with his blazing treasures?" "I don't quite understand your question. I'm not Malkavian." Duh, of course he is not Malkavian, he is way too boring to be part of our family. Though the fox lady is also just a boring old hag. "Treasure baron likes to collect stars, doesn't he? What does he do with them?", I rephrase my question. "I'm a producer, if that was your question. Most of the movies you've seen have probably been produced by me. I worked with many famous actors, like Robert De Niro, Scorsese or John Travolta. But enough with the Smalltalk, if you don't have any questions regarding your task, then you may leave.", he replies, emphasizing 'regarding your task'.  
Frankly speaking, I don't get, why Velvet likes him so much. He's sitting on such a high horse. Maybe, it's because I'm not a horse person. I prefer hairbrushes as pets, they're also hairy, but less messy. "Well, Toodeloo!", I reply snappy and head out.

As I step outside, a small creature is blocking my way back to the main street. It has a fluffy head, resembling a pug with three big blue eyes, the chest on the other hand, resembles a bird, with its violet-blue feathers. The colors of its five fluffy-plumb legs are also blue and violet. "It's a puddlemudge!", I happily exclaim, while clapping my hands. The puddlemudge shrieks and hurries away, in the opposite direction of the main street, leaving small puddles, wherever its paws touch the ground. "Gotta catch them all!", I whisper in excitement, as I hastily follow it, while being careful not to touch the puddles.  
Damn, this puddlemudge is fast! And apparently also good at jumping, as it easily managed to jump over the fence. It turns around from behind the fence and mocks me, by jumping up and down, while making a sound, which could be described as something between giggling and wheezing. My eyes narrow and I raise my finger to threaten it, "I will catch you!" As I leap upwards and start climbing the fence, the puddlemudge squeaks and runs away. The hunt continues through various small, dark alleys, but we finally reach a dead-end. The puddlemudge lifts its paw, touching the wall in front of it and winces, as it lets its paw down again.  
It slowly turns around, and I nearly start to pity it, seeing it tremble so much. "Got ya.", I declare with a smile, as I take another step towards it.  
Suddenly the trembling stops, and the puddlemudge giggles/wheezes again, with its tongue hanging out of its mouth. "Huh?" I look down on my feet. One of my feet is standing in one of the puddles, left behind by the puddlemudge. "Damn", is all what I can manage to say, before the puddle sucks my foot in, swallowing me whole.

My eyes flatter open, and I sit up, while groaning in pain. My headache is killing me! Ah, but I'm already dead, so no worries. I carefully inspect my surroundings. Yep.  
I have no idea, where I am. I'm currently sitting on a fluffy, pink, cotton-like cloud. Beneath the cloud is some kind of green fog. What's beyond it, is out of my vision.  
In the sky is a flower blooming, where usually the moon would be. What a strange place, and yet it has such a familiar feeling to it. Perhaps… this is my mind? Interesting. Though I'm a bit upset at how empty this place is. Well, maybe it is another dimension, or the mind of a different person. Yeah, that must be it.  
Since I don't know how to return, I decide to explore this place for now. I carefully lower my feet to the ground. To my surprise, the green fog is actually the ground. Furthermore, the green fog is quite elastic, making it feel as I would walk on a gigantic trampoline. This is fun! I will travel like a rabbit for now, by bouncing forward. Maybe this is actually the Wonderland?  
After hoping for a while, I encounter a flying blue serpent with sunglasses. "Yo, what's up?", the serpent greets me. "The sky is up.", I reply honestly. "Anyways, nice to meet you, I'm nameless.", I introduce myself. "Oh, what a coincidence, my name is 'nameless', too. So, how's it going for you, man? Lovely weather, isn't it?", the serpent replies. Damn, I hoped, that the serpent could help me, but it is obviously stupid. I mean, I'm obviously a woman, not a man.  
"It's jumping. But I guess the weather is really nice. Ah, but I'm female, by the way." The flying serpent spins around in the air, embarrassed about its mistake.  
"Ah, man, I'm sorry, you human-like creatures look all the same to me." Truly, an idiot. "Yeah, whatever, do you happen to know, where Holly's Wood reside? I'm a bit lost here." I must try my luck, even though the snake is an idiot. "Holly's Wood? No. But I know, where Tara's Wood is. You should check it out.", the snake replies.  
I politely decline. "Well, thanks for nothing. See ya, nameless.", I bid it goodbye. "It was nothing. Good day to you, Miss nameless!", the flying serpent shouts, as I turn my back on it and continue on my journey.  
Soon I reach a vast plain with countless small ponds. Various scenes are reflected in the ponds. Snow White secretly making out with a mirror. The dark father carefully tasting the dish of fate, before deciding to season it a bit more. Rambo softly singing a lullaby to a baby in his bulky arms. The phoenix fulfilling his dreadful wish in a moldy cave. What a stupid bird. The star of dawn, mingling with other stars. Oh, and some sleazy cashier on a red spot, selling sky medicine. Wait a minute, red!  
The color of fate! I take a few steps back, before sprinting towards the pond and jump up, while aiming my feet at the red dot.

"-iss? Miss? Hello?!", I hear someone calling. Some fingers are waving around in front of my eyes. Funny fingers, what are you trying to do? The fingers disappear from my field of vision, as the cashier notices, that I have awoken from my daze. "You ok Miss? Man, must have been good stuff, you were standing here, for like, five minutes!", the cashier starts blabbing. "It was an interesting journey. Four out of three people would recommend.", I reply casually. "Yeah… Care to tell me, where you got that stuff? I'm dealing myself, you know?" What?! A prostitute? Who would buy him? No, seriously, who?! "Snitches get stitches.", I evade his question and immediately turn to leave. Time sure flies, when you're in wonderland.

"We're back! We were in wonderland. It was wonderful. And full of wonders.", I excitedly greet double V. She looks surprised. Maybe she is overwhelmed by my radiance once again? Can't blame her, I'm pretty bright for a night guy. "Since I've been to wonderland, I've been wondering about something. Something related to hunters, and since the pretty reflection in front of me likes to gossip so much about them, maybe she knows more of their secrets?", I ask her with upturned eyes.  
"Is that your excuse for wanting to see me? Well, I'm flattered that you came back so soon. What's your question?", VV purrs seductively.  
"Righteo. So, why do hunters of the day hunt hunters of the night, instead of hunting the prey? Are they suicidal? Are they addicted to the adrenaline they get from hunting something bigger than them?", I interrogate her. "You mean, why hunters hunt kindred? Since they are humans, they're naturally afraid of becoming prey themselves. But aside from that, they also do it for religious reasons. And for some reason, their beliefs are, what makes them so dangerous. The stronger a hunter's beliefs, the stronger he is at fighting us. No one knows, why that is the case, but it is something you should keep in mind, if you must deal with them. And unless you have to get involved with them, you should avoid them like the plague.", VV gently explains to me.  
 _Hey, hey, do you know this one: What happens if you add Christianity to James Bond?  
_ Uhm, a stupid action movie, that no one wants to watch?  
 _You get a seven with a cross! HAHAHA!  
_ I don't get it…  
 _Give it some time._  
Yeah, whatever.  
"Aaaanyways, I can't get sick, so I should be fine. Oh, but I'm allergic to the sun, so I better leave. Toodeloo." Outside of the club, I spot cab-man not too far away. Yes, I always wanted to be saved by a superhero, even if the villain is just a puny, approaching sunrise.


	11. Blood to go

**Chapter 10: Blood to go**

* * *

Now then, what was that business thingy, that I had to do again? I don't remember. I mean, topics related to business are ALWAYS boring, so who would blame me for ignoring them? Anyways, 'some kind of business' it was. Isn't business always about banks and stuff? And since I'm kindred, I'm always involved with other kindred, and kindred on the other hand only care about blood. This means, that I should visit the Blood Bank, right? I'm a genius!  
"Do you want to donate some blood, hm? It could be your good deed for the day, you know? Ah, but you don't look like some kind of good Samaritan to me, honey.  
Be honest, you're not here to give, but rather to take, aren't you? You can't fool me, sweetie, I have seen eyes like yours before. Eyes full of hunger. You crave for it, don't you?", the caged man at the counter greets me. He has greasy red hair and dark circles around his eyes.  
 _Dark daughter of Janus has a strange taste. Why creepy redheads? Why not adorable blondes, or mysterious blackheads?_  
 _The fear of the queen keeps the bishop awake. One bishop has already been sacrificed to the white enemy._  
"You're wrong… I'm not sweet. I'd like to make a withdrawal.", I calmly reply. "Right on. I like your forwardness, no useless quibbling, no silly excuses. Oh, how I loathe those of you, who come here, all pretending to be innocent. 'No sir, you got me wrong, I'm not a blood sucker, I just coincidently need to buy some blood', as if anyone would believe them.", greasy redhead laments, before I interrupt him with my order, "I take one banker, two busty office ladies, one mechanic, and three nurses – oh, and an IT student to go, please!" This is so much fun, I never would've guessed, that doing bank business could be as awesome as buying one of those candy bags, where you get to choose the kind and amount of candy. "… Sure. Here you go.", greasy redhead says, as he hands me some blood bags.  
To be honest, I wouldn't have thought, that someone as greasy as him, would be able to do a good job as a banker, but he didn't even hesitate, when he grabbed the blood bags. To be able to fulfil my request so easily… I'm impressed.  
I fill the IT student into the empty coffee cup, I brought with me as a souvenir from the buck of stars, and sip on it, as I head out. Ugh, tastes more like theoretical physics student. Fraud! I'm disappointed, greasy redhead, truly disappointed! He thought, I wouldn't be able to taste the difference, huh?  
Well, I may not look like it, but I'm an expert blood taster! I know all about, uhm, stuff, uhm like blood groups and, uh, things! I'm still angry, when I sit down behind cab man, in his beloved cab. "Where to?", he asks me, expressionless as always. Ah, routines are so soothing. "Don't know. Don't care. Just away from this fraudster. What, IT student? No IT student! Theoretical physics, pah. His hygiene is also only theoretical! He could use some practice! Like, on how to wash his greasy hair!"  
Cab man simply ignores my complaints, as he steers his yellow boat through the wavy night.  
As I watch the city lights passing by, I do something I hate: contemplating my next step. Somewhere, someone is waiting for me, but who was it again? I still feel muddleheaded from my trip to wonder-wonderland. Isn't it always the dolphin, who is ordering me around and wanting to play fetch with me?  
It has been some time, since I last saw him. He's probably already missing the powerful me, a maid capable of fulfilling his every wish. I bet he's on top of the sky tower right now, silently watching the city of angels from above, like an elementary student on a rainy day, waiting for his mom. Aww, how cute.  
Ok, time to pick up my little prince. "To the highest tower in the town down below, please. I want to see the dolphin of the sky.", I command cab man.

The last time I visited dolphin prince, I had to wait for a small eternity, before his henchmen allowed me into his office. This time, I didn't have to wait long, I guess he really DID miss me. Not even being able to play the waiting game with me due to his loneliness, I feel touched. "Why are you looking at me like that? To begin with, why are you even here?", tsundere prince greets me. He looks kind of annoyed? I immediately hide my pitiful expression and distract him by showing him my bag full of blood bags. "I brought your blood.", I explain to him. "What?", he replies confused. "What?", I say, as I quickly close my bag and hide it behind me. Meh, wrong guess. "… Anyways, I have a task for you by chance. I need you to investigate this person, his affiliations and secrets that could be used against him. If you need any equipment for this mission, you can order it from this E-mail address. It belongs to someone working for me, however he doesn't like meeting people."  
I receive a business card from him, with Rancid Randy's favorite address written on it, and cheerfully add it to my business card collection.  
"Unless you had some other business with me, you may leave.", dolphin prince dismisses me, while he returns to his favorite standing place next to the big window.  
I stare at his back for a short moment. Aww, he's probably shy and doesn't want me to see him grinning out of happiness from seeing me.

After leaving the sky tower, I aimlessly wander the streets. I'm not in the mood for questing right now.  
"THE END! IT IS NEAR! The DEAD, the DEAD, they are already walking among us! Repent! You must repent now, before hell fully breaks loose, here on our earth! YOU! YOU THERE! Have you been a good Christian, Sir? HEY! HEY! DON'T IGNORE ME! GOD is WATCHING you, Sir. He's WATCHING! God is watching ALL of us, while he sharpens his butcher knife. You all better PRAY! Pray for FORGIVENESS! Cause the END OF ALL DAYS is near, and NONE of you heretics will be spared! You will all burn in hell! BURN IN HELL!"  
Oh, this strange kine is on to something. I have hidden myself behind a trash can, while I watch this interesting individual putting on a show. His clothes seem to be the proud survivors of a fierce mud-fight and his hair is more tangled than the snakes in a snake pit. The shaking of his beard his absolutely hypnotizing.  
Oh no. I think I'm in love. I try to sneak closer to him, but a stench, which suddenly assaults my nose, keeps me away. Ah, goodbye my first love. Your life was short. _What kind of body odor did you expect from a crazy hobo, covered in mud?_ – One of my voices asks me sarcastically.  
Uh, I don't know. Mint? Since his blabbering is quite refreshing.  
My inner voice responds with silence. Ha, I'm always winning the arguments against myselves.  
Anyways, dead people walking among humans, huh. Maybe I should properly depose of my first love. "What are you doing there?" My head spins around and I find the number nine looking down on the crouching me. I stand up with a cough and brush off my clothes, before answering him, "My ears must be drunk. There's no way, that the high and mighty number nine cares about the numberless me." I harrumph and pass by him, intentionally ignoring him, while doing so.  
"Wait, kiddo.", Nines calmly calls me from behind. I stop my feet. Wait. And wordlessly continue, before he managed to catch up to me. A few steps later, Nines is walking besides me. "Look, we might've overreacted a bit the other day. We thought, that you would've talked to that snobby kiss-ass sissy about us. Wouldn't have been the first newbie to betray our cause for some fake sense of security." "I can't remember exchanging sake cups with any of you?", I interrupt his sorry excuse of an apology. You can only betray someone, who you have pledged your loyalty to, no? "… Yeah. My bad, kiddo. You're a Malk after all. You probably didn't even know, what you were doing." Wait, wait, wait! Being a Malk can be used as an excuse for behaving however I like? Neat.  
"And in the end, you still helped us. So… thanks, kiddo. Stop by, when you're bored, ok? Tara would like to meet her savior."  
Who the fuck is Tara? And since when am I Jesus?  
 _Nines must be confused.  
Anyways, should we enlighten him, or use the chance to make amends with the Anarchs?  
No need to befriend a barrel of fuel. It will only blow up, from even the smallest flame.  
I agree, there is no benefit in gaining favor with a bunch of hobos.  
But… But… I like Nine's voice!_  
I groan and kneel due to the pain, as a heated discussion about the charms and uses of Nines breaks out in my head. Shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!  
"You ok, kiddo?", Nines asks me. I glance up to him and force myself to smile. "We're fully right. No worries for numbers.", I reply. "If you say so… Well, I gotta go, kiddo. See ya." I silently watch Nines, as he walks away.  
 _Why would the Anarchs suddenly become friendly again? I can't help, but suspect a hidden agenda.  
_ Bee being suspicious… How unusual. Normally you'd offer your trust to whoever would accept it.  
 _What are you talking about? I'm not that stupid! Right, guys?  
_ All my voices stay unusually quiet. I guess, that settles it. While Bee is still pouting, I head back to my haven.

I begin the next night with doing, what I should do: baking cupcakes. Ah, but first I need some ingredients. I visit the red spot closest to my haven. On the way to the red spot, I can feel the gazes of hidden eyes on me. This is often the case, but this night, the eyes feel too… hot and beating, I don't like it. Someone rings the bell as I walk through the doors of the spot of red. Listening to the sound of the bell is always my favorite part of visiting these red spots. As I stuff the mustard in my basket, the bell rings again. I shortly glance at the door. A cute girl with a blond bob cut and a pale dude with boorish brown hair entered, both mostly clothed in black leather. I ignore them and continue collecting my ingredients, while quietly humming a melody. Having found everything that I need, I trade the ingredients for a swipe with my card and head back to my haven.  
Now I'll just quickly put on my swimsuit, so that I can simply take a shower in case I get dirty, and then I can begin!  
 _Why make cupcakes, if you can't eat them?_  
BECAUSE. CUPCAKES! Motherfucking cupcakes!  
 _That doesn't make any sense. You never make sense. Why is someone irrational like you making all the decisions for us?_  
Careful, Bee. Lèse majesté is punishable by death. And dying isn't fun, you know that. Wouldn't be your first time after all.  
 _Still, who's going to eat all of that? How wasteful. Also, don't add ketchup to the dough, that's disgusting._  
Tsk, tsk, tsk. You know nothing about making cupcakes, it seems. The ketchup is needed for the color. And even if we won't eat them, that's what pets are for, after all.

An hour later, I finally finished decorating my masterpieces. After admiring them for a bit, I take them to my little rainbow girl. "Who's a good girl? Huh, who's a good girl?", I say to her, as I dangle a cute cupcake in front of her. "Master! I didn't know, that you could cook. Is that for me?", she asks me with upturned eyes, while sitting in front of the sewing machine. She's been diligently working on some new clothes for the last few nights. "Then, do you expect me to eat?", I teasingly answer. She smiles at me wryly, as she shyly takes a bite. Her face freezes for a moment, before it undergoes various changes. She's neither swallowing, nor spiting it out.  
I wonder, what's wrong? Finally, she manages to swallow it and then asks me, with tears in her eyes, "Master… Do I have to eat it?" I'm speechless.  
She doesn't like it? How could that be? Those cupcakes look so delicious! Come to think of it, what's the worst that could happen, if I were to eat them?  
Having to poop undigested cupcakes? That would be interesting… I resolutely take one cupcake and bite into it.  
Wow, tastes like nothing. Kind of anticlimactic…

Two hours later, I finally stopped throwing up. Yep, that's probably the last time, that I try to eat pet food. Since I haven't eaten breakfast yet, I'm quite famished now. But that's what pets are for, after all. After sating my thirst with rainbow blood, I head out. Staying at home is boring. "Where to?", asks me my favorite superhero, as I sit down in the cab-mobile. "Isn't it too monotonous to always ask the same question? Why not ask for something else instead? Like 'What's your bra size?', or 'Can I have one of those cupcakes in your lunchbox?'. In both cases, my answer would be 'Yes, you can.'." Cab man only replies with a hard-to-detect smile. Talkative as always, huh. "Word on the street is, that woods belonging to Holly are full of people, who know how to appreciate beauty. Therefore, someone there should be able to appreciate my cute cupcakes, right?", I think out loud. Cab man silently steers his wheel towards the home of stars.

"Greetings, baron of treasures.", I greet Isaac, while making a curtsey. "You're finally back?", he asks me. His voice sounds kind of cold. Is he in a bad mood?  
"Want a cupcake?", I try to cheer him up. "I tasted them earlier. They're delicious.", I add. His expression shows pure disgust, before his poker-face quickly returns. "You're a thin-blood?" What the fuck is a thin-blood? "What's that? Something eatable?", I return his question. "Thinbloods are kindred, but not quite. Their bloodline is too weak, resulting in them losing some of the properties of a true kindred. For example, some of them can eat, or are unable to embrace a child. According to rumors, there are even some, who are able to walk in sunlight.", he patiently explains to me. "We see. We can eat, but we have to vomit, if we do, so we won't eat.", I reply. "Well, no cupcake for the treasure baron then. Does the treasure baron want this instead?", I ask him, as I show him my bag, still full of blood bags.  
Treasure baron raises an eyebrow upon seeing the blood bags. "So, you did remember your task at least. Though you're too late, if I may add. Considering your… special circumstances, I shall show you some benevolence and consider your mission accomplished nonetheless. Lucky for you, my stock was sufficient for the party." Oh, so the treasure lord was the quest giver. The coincidences always seem to be on my side, I must have a lucky toe or something. "It's a bit late, but welcome in my barony. Remember not to cause any trouble in my domain." And with this, the baron dismisses me.

Until now, I've only visited the Vesuvius in Holly's Wood, so I decide, that it is time to check out the other attractions. Close to the Vesuvius is a bin made for sin, and since I am Jesus (according to Nines), I naturally ought to go there and exorcise some demons out of the sinners.  
Contrary to my expectations, I only find a sleazy old perv, sitting behind a counter and reading some magazine. There's a naked woman on the cover of the magazine, I guess the magazine is about anatomy? To be honest, I didn't expect sleaze-ball over there to be interested in anything related to medicine.  
I start examining the merchandise. There are a lot of magazines, mostly about anatomy, but there are also Manga among the magazines. And apart from reading stuff, this shop also sells some weird toys, skin care products and underwear. This sure is a weird supermarket.  
Among the toys, I discover something, that looks like a Sailor Moon wand. It is pink with a heart on top. The toy is a bit thick for a magic wand, but this way it's easier to grasp, I guess. The wand is even a bit curly, for better grip. "Excuse me? Mister sleaze-ball? I take this, please", I politely order the old perv.  
For some reason, he keeps smiling at me creepily during my purchase. Ugh, creep.  
This store also seems to have a basement, and there is no way, that I would ever miss out on searching through a basement, so I head downstairs after paying.  
The basement isn't big, so it doesn't take long, until I have seen every square meter of it.  
The most interesting thing about this basement are the tiny rooms. In every tiny room is only a chair and a metal window. The chairs and the walls beneath the metal windows are full of strange white stains for some reason. The chairs themselves are not very interesting, but if you throw a coin in a slit next to the metal window, then the metal window will open, and you can see a barely clothed female wiggling her jugs. Instead of a bra, the female is wearing tiny hats on her nipples.  
And the tiny hats have threads attached, which whirl in circles due to the juggling. Watching the threads whirl is so hypnotic, I can' help but follow the whirling with my head as well. A few minutes later, the metal window suddenly closes. Oh well, I have watched the tiny hats long enough.

My next stop is the Asp Hole, the former home of some stupid fire-bird, according to the snakes hiding in a hole behind its neon sign. I don't care about the past, but the snakes couldn't tell me the name of the current owner. They don't know the name of their own landlord, yet they still call others stupid…  
Well, birds are known for having small brains, so they're probably right.  
The inside of the Asp Hole is filled with those pretentious wannabe-stars and failed actors. There are those, who acted in children's movies and want to act in movies for adults, and those, who acted in adult movies and want to act in movies also suitable for children. And among all those people… Snakes!  
Snakes, crawling from the wall and snakes chilling on the tables. My sight follows the snakes crawling from the wall upwards, and despite being a lover of snakes, I take a step back in panic. The ceiling is packed to the brim with hundreds of snakes wriggling and worming around. From time to time, snakes fall off, resulting in the snakes chilling on the table. The snakes on the wall don't seem very keen on mingling with people, they stay away from the floor.  
I walk towards one of the tables, where a snake fell onto, and slowly stretch my hand out towards its head. The snake notices me, but stays put, as I carefully stroke its head. I see, so the snakes are friendly. Satisfied with the results of my experiment, I retract my hand and continue my way to the dance floor.  
Imitating the snakes meandering around, I start swaying my hips to the beat. My snake-dance manages to hypnotize a little morsel, a brown haired, young 'Johnny Depp'- imitation (and a poor one at that) with grey eyes. I spin around and extent my arm in his direction and swirl my hand, gesturing him to come closer in a dancing manner. We dance close to each other, but not touching, for a while, before he leans towards me, and with his lips next to my ear, he asks me, "Can I buy you a drink?" Can he buy me a drink? He IS my drink! Well, at least he will be. Hopefully. He doesn't seem as slutty as the other morsels I managed to seduce until now, but he should be slutty enough. "You may. I'd like something fancy.", I purr in response. A moment later, a colorful cocktail is placed in front of me.  
I stare at it in awe, not only because of its magnificent appearance, but also because Depp-imitation somehow managed to closely miss the head of the snake sleeping on the table. A mojito is placed next to my cocktail, and my eyes dart back to Depp-imitation. He smiles at me, and I return the smile.  
Alright, I somehow have to act normal now, otherwise my fancy vomit-tonic will be the only drink I get from him.  
"Did you know, that it is forbidden by law to play Frisbee on the Los Angeles beach, without the lifeguard's permission?", I ask him with upturned eyes.  
Confusion covers his face. Shit. "Uhm, want to break the law with me?", I add, still playing it cool. His expression turns back into a flirty one, as he replies with a husky voice, "You want to play with me?" Yes, I know the normal answer to that question! "Like a toddler with Play-Doh." What? Why does he look weirded out now?  
But I didn't come unprepared after all. I take out my beloved feather duster from its holster under my fluffy skirt and dust off his memories a bit.  
"Do kittens like milk?", I purr. Cleaning always makes me thirsty, I hope this time it works. "Yeah? Well I got some milk for you to li- uh, no, I mean… err…" Depp-imitation is suddenly completely flustered for some reason, and desperately tries to take back his words. But I won't let him.  
"I'd LOVE to lick your milk!" Your delicious, juicy, red milk. "Wha? Uh, I mean, yeah?" "Yeah", I whisper in his ear, while softly stroking his arm. "Wanna go somewhere… more private?", he whispers back, his voice tainted by desire. "Lead the way.", I order him sweetly.

I follow my little morsel to the Luckee Star Motel, and we book a room. It's truly a waste of funny paper, but it's not my funny paper, so I won't complain. Hehe, female privilege. When booking the room, I notice how empty the lobby of the residence of lucky stars is. Apart from us, my morsel and the slightly haggard woman with curly black hair, who guards the entrance, no one else was in sight. Maybe I should take the woman as dessert. I love dessert.  
I continue following the morsel into the room, even though I could take him right now, since no one is here. But then again, nasty eyes are always watching, but not always seen.  
Inside, he starts passionately kissing me, and I return the kiss, since I've already decided to take my time savoring this sweet little dish. I help him undressing his t-shirt, and lightly push him onto the bed, before I start stripping, until only my underwear is left, while he enjoys the show.  
 _Uhm, do we have to strip? Why not just get over with it?_  
Come to think of it, where the fuck is my apron? Don't tell me, I forgot wearing it? Having finished undressing, I jump on him and start sucking on his neck, carefully and without slicing his skin. While continuing kissing, and sucking on his neck, my hand starts crawling towards his trousers, searching for the button and unbuttoning it. _Wait_ , _don't go any further than this! Please don't!_  
I slide down from his body and watch him provocatively, as he hurriedly and a bit clumsily strips. Even I can tell, that it has been a looong time, since he last played cops and robbers with a woman.  
 _Well, that explains how you managed to seduce him_.  
Being eaten has nothing to do with sex? Oh wait, it does in China.  
Having finished undressing, he rolls over to me and presses me under his body, as he continues exploring my mouth with his tongue.  
 _STOP! This is too much! Get him off of me! GET HIM OFF!  
_ But I won't have any of that. I hug him tightly, while pushing him around, switching our positions back to me being on top. Why? Because I'm the boss, biatch!  
I lick his neck again, since I enjoy feeling the beat of his heart on my tongue and then continue kissing him, leaving a trail of kisses on his body, until I reach his hip.  
I use the tip of my tongue to search for the inner hip artery and my fangs immediately pierce his flesh, after I found it.  
 _Why, of all places, would you choose this one to suck his blood?!_  
As I slowly suck his blood, my little morsel is moaning in pleasure, thereby silencing any noises made by me. Taking my time in preparing the dish, truly was worth it, as his blood tastes so much sweeter, due to being dyed in lust. Having finished my meal, I lick his wound clean, until the bite marks disappear. As I watch my little dish cutely sleeping, I suddenly remember, that according to Jeanette this thing humans do, if they want to reproduce, can still be done after dying. Maybe I should have tried that with little dish, just for the experience. But then again, it would be hard to do that, given how annoying Bee was, when I played with little dish.


	12. A royal play

**Chapter 11: A royal play**

* * *

Little dish's blood was quite satisfying, so I decide to leave star guardian's neck for another night. I have played quite a lot this night, maybe I should also work.  
'Party hard, work hard', as they say. Well, I personally prefer 'Party hard, partier harder, parties the hardest' more, but lucky for me, I don't have to do any work anyways. I can simply let the other me's do my work instead, muhahaha! Someone, take over! You there, yes you, why don't you take the wheel for now?  
While my other me works for me, I sit back and eat my imaginary popcorn, watching myself through my eyes. Ha, being boss is awesome. Myself is running here and there, using dimensional devices and uh, I don't know. I nodded off. But then I woke up again, I was back in my haven, so I guess I finished my work. There's not much time left, so I let Wendy play with her new toy a bit.

The next night, Wendy is the first to wake up, and she apparently decided to continue playing with her new toy, practicing casting some magic spells or something. Maybe I should call her Mahou Shoujo Wendy from now on. Rainbow has been staring at me weirdly for some time now, I wonder what her deal is? Whatever, I guess it's time to take back the wheel. After putting Wendy to sleep and the toy away, I clear my throat and turn towards my pet.  
"The Rainbow wants to clear her sky, or strike a deal with this many one?" Rainbow tilts her head, replying, "What? Master, I don't understand…"  
"Then enlighten me, to enlighten you.", I reply annoyed, while rolling my eyes. However, Rainbow stays silent, so I wave my hand at her. "No need for the deed. Other matters seek my guidance." I turn around and go towards my working place. Let's see what the other me achieved last night.  
I take out the paper, containing all the information about Dolphy's secret love interest:

 _Name: Edward Scissorhands. Or Collins. One of the two. Probably._

 _Cute Nickname-Suggestion: Eddie the Crabby_

 _Occupation: eating doughnuts_

 _Sex: Uhm, no. Sorry, but I don't feel attracted to paper._

To think, that the other me managed to obtain so much information, just by idling around for a few hours. 'Eddie the Crabby' is indeed a cute nickname, I wonder, if the prince will use it for his sweetheart from now on? A scene plays in my head: the prince softly stroking the chin of a chubby, old man in suit, while whispering with a voice, laced with affection, "Eddie the Crabby, my dear…", while red roses bloom around their heads, both of their eyes filled with tears due to their deep affection.  
Just thinking about it, gives me goosebumps. This scene is truly too romantic! But enough wet night dreams, since I ship them, I need to aid them in their love quest. Yes, since this ship is important, I should be the one steering it! And I should start with it immediately! Because spring nights are short!  
But first, let me check my magic mailbox. Looks like I got invited to another play this night. Well, might as well do the deed another night then. I'm not procrastinating, who said that?! I put on my black high heels and a wine-red dress with corset, both stolen from my pet, and complete the outfit by wearing my black cape. The inside of my cape is also wine-red by the way, with pictures of little bats. Extremely cute, but they won't glow in the dark, unfortunately. "Rainbow, can you do my hair all spirally and skittish? I was invited to a ball by a prince after all!" My pet complies to my request without questioning everything for once, and I leave our apartment an hour later.

Since the Nocturne Theater isn't far away, I walk alone, without calling my favorite superhero for help. But just walking would be too boring, so I train merging with the shadows. As a result, I'm as thirsty as a camel in the desert, when I arrive at the Theater. They probably won't let me smuggle food into the show, so I walk towards the barely clothed female waiting at the street corner. "Are you selling your company tonight?", I politely inquire. "You interested? How unusual, I don't get females often." She curiously inspects me from head to toe. "Tell you what, how about forty? It's a special price, since you're cute. You won't regret it, I promise."  
I return her observing gaze and finally nod arrogantly. "Fair enough. Follow me.", I instruct her, while giving her some paper, and lead her towards the back alley of the Nocturne Theater. I stop walking and turn around. My snack follows up by pulling her tube top down, revealing her bare chest.  
"First, let me juggle your junk.", I excitedly exclaim, since her cupcakes were shaking like jelly, when she pulled her top down. My snack chuckles, as I conduct some fall experiments with her cupcakes, until my eyes discover a good spot for biting. My fangs swiftly slice her skin and I start feasting on her hot blood, while pulling her into an embrace. Her body relaxes and she softly moans, when a charming voice suddenly enters my ears, "This is neither a good place, nor a good time to feed, kid."  
I retract my fangs from little snack's neck and lick her wound, before gazing at the reprimanding number.  
 _He's always delivering boring speeches, yet why do I like listening to him so much? WHY?!  
Listening to numbers, such a waste of time.  
He apologized to us, maybe we should cut him some slack.  
Cut him some slack? What for, he is a useless Anarch._  
Anarch or not, we don't care for politics.  
 _Numbers are honest, they don't lie. Definitely more trustworthy than some mammal pretending to be a fish._  
"Kid, you ok?" Nines' hand is waving in front of my face. "Say that again?", I ask him with a stoic face. "I was just asking, whether you're alright. You seemed out of it.", Nines answers. "Yes, I'm outside.", I reply, tilting my head in confusion. Why is he asking me such a silly question? Nines smiles lightly at me, probably having realized the silliness of his own question. "Let's go in?", he asks me, while nodding towards the Nocturne Theater. "Yes, before we miss the funny commercials!"

The inside of the Nocturne Theater is dimly lit, in accommodation to our night-vision. "By the way, is that a cape?", Nines asks me, as he glances at my outfit. I proudly raise my chin, upon hearing his remark. "Of course. Don't tell me, you forgot yours?" I haughtily gaze at his cape-less shoulders. "I'm not a fan of capes.", Nines lightly replies. What a poor excuse, I'm disappointed in you.  
"I hope this play won't be as boring as the last one.", I complain in a low voice, upon seeing the other kindred silently heading towards their seats. Overlooking the rows of seats, already filled with all kinds of kindred, I spot a familiar redhead in the middle of the ninth row. I glance at Nines; he also seems to have spot her.  
"I don't need a lighthouse to show me the way. But without you, the lighthouse might burn down.", I dryly remark. "You don't need to worry about Damsel, kid. She already cooled down.", he says, before leisurely walking towards her. My eyes follow his back, as he approaches lighthouse and sits down next to her. Something about him always draws my gaze, I wonder what it is.

I stop minding any numbers and start looking for a good seat instead. After testing twenty to thirty seats, I finally found the most comfortable seat, with the best view in the peasant area. To be honest, I would have preferred to sit in one of the balconies on the side, but they seem to have already been reserved for the next few years by important kindred. The queen of the Empire Arms hotel is one of those important kindred. She quietly observes the empty stage, with a glass of wine or blood in her hands. Next to her balcony is the balcony of the mighty wizard lord, who is unable to grow any hair, despite his high magic potency.  
 _Why do you think that he is a wizard lord?  
_ Oh come on, his clothes scream 'Look at me, I'm mysterious.', so what else could he be?  
"Miss Martel, long time no see." I look up to find the dark mage standing next to me and smiling sweetly at me. Dark mage, scary. "Dar- Mister Galliano. You forgot your cape.", I politely remind him. "I have no need for a cape.", he replies, while sitting down next to me. "I was preoccupied with other things these nights, so I couldn't take care of you. I hope you have been well?" "A wishing well, I was indeed. So many wishes to fulfil, being a well isn't easy.", I return. "That's the fate of all fledglings, don't take it to heart.", he comforts me.  
"Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen." The quiet whispers in the theater die down, until only the whispers of my head can be heard, as another play finally begins. "First, let me apologize for any prior arrangements you may have had this evening. You might be wondering, why I have called you here tonight, since our last gathering was not long ago. The reason for this additional gathering on such short notice is a special case, which needs to be addressed timely, due to its importance. My fellow kindred, I'm saddened to inform you, that we have traitors in our midst. These two kindred, who I considered loyal members of our society not long ago, were caught exchanging information with the Sabbat." Dolphin prince motions towards the two children of the night, kneeling on the stage with a stake impaled in their hearts and their hands bound behind them. "As you all know, the penalty for this transgression is death. The Sabbat poses too much of a threat for our society; there is unfortunately no room for mercy for those, who decide to work for them. I know, that many of you were in contact with the accused and probably feel as aggrieved about their betrayal as I do, however, in order to protect our society, we have no other choice but to obey the rules."  
Dolphin prince turns towards the deathly shadow behind him. "Remove the stakes", he orders him.  
"I will now announce the verdict. Anthony Grey, I hereby sentence you to death by public execution for the crime of betraying the Camarilla and joining hands with the Sabbat. Let the penalty commence." The deathly shadow steps up to the first kindred and draws his way-too-long katana and swiftly swings it down, smoothly cutting of his head. Only a small heap of ash remains.  
"Now to you, Miss Kathryn Perez-" "I'll have to interject." All gazes turn from the dolphin prince and towards the balcony, where the queen is sitting. "Though it is reasonable to assume, that the Childe of a traitor is also a traitor, since it is often the case, in this special case however, the relationship between Miss Perez and her Sire was heavily strained. It is common knowledge, that those two didn't get along, so why is Miss Perez accused along Mr. Grey? That doesn't make any sense.", the queen casually states, seemingly uninterested in the outcome of this trial, despite her interruption.  
Gosh, I hate these judicial shows, there's too much politics and stuff in them.  
"I understand your doubt, Miss Harper, but even though their relationship seemed strained in public, we have proof, that they have been secretly in contact the whole time. There is no mistake, in that Miss Perez has also taken part in the betrayal. I'm not someone unjust; I wouldn't accuse kindred, simply due to the crimes of their Sires.", the dolphin prince retorts. "If you still have concerns about the guilt of the accused Miss Perez, I will forward her mails to her Sire to you. Well then, if no one else has any objections, I will proceed with the verdict of Miss Perez." Dolphin prince gives the queen a questioning look, seemingly sincere, but with a small hint of mockery, only detectable by those who pay enough attention to him. "None, please proceed.", the queen replies, a tad cold. All gazes return to the stage.  
"Very well. I hereby sentence Miss Perez to death by public execution for the crime of betraying the Camarilla and working for the Sabbat. Let the penalty commence." Again, the blade swiftly swings down, severing another head, which turns into ash in the next instant. "Well, that would be all for tonight. Good evening."  
And with this, the play comes to an end. I'm glad, that it was such a short play.

The audience slowly starts leaving and I also turn towards the exit, but dark mage stops me. "Miss Martel, I have something to discuss with you. Please follow me."  
I glance at Nines and lighthouse, who are already at the door. Nines turns around and looks back at me. His eyes wander to the dark mage besides me for a short moment, then he turns back around and leaves. "We have time to waste, if the dark mage wishes so.", I reply.  
Dark mage and I head to the Empire Arms hotel. I wonder, why the dark mage likes this place so much, even though the people here have no sense of humor. I mean, I still haven't managed to procure myself dinner here. Like the last time, we enter the room, where the fire water gets distributed and camp in the corner of the room. "What kind of words does the dark mage want to trade with us?", I ask him after getting comfy. "I have a business opportunity; in case you're interested. I assume, that you still have no income of your own?" The dark mage looks at me questioningly.  
"Cash keeps coming in, from time to time. But the gate is always open for more.", I reply. "Thought so. This business partner of mine has been looking for someone skilled, who could get rid of problematic people for him. This should be easy for you, since they're just mortals. And you won't even have to meet him, all can be done via E-mail, so your mental condition shouldn't pose too much of a problem.", the dark mage proposes. I'm not sure, whether I should accept or not. I mean, I would get money for it, but it IS work after all. Ok, time for an inner discussion.  
 _I'm against it! How could we work as a hitman?! I don't want to kill innocents! There must be another way to earn money.  
The moon lover lurks in muddy water, waiting to catch his moon goddess.  
Getting paid for killing thugs? Count me in! Heck, I would even do it without the money. No, I would even do it, if I would have to pay for it. What could be more fun, than ripping a heart out and drinking its juice? Wait, maybe a bath of blood would be even more pleasing. Ahh, decisions! DECISIONS!  
_A blood bath, huh? I sure would like to try bathing in blood. But killing cows to get their milk is stupid.  
"You want to bath in blood?", the dark mage asks me with a raised eyebrow. Eh?! He can read my thoughts. "I'm not able to read minds. You were speaking your mind again.", he explains. Ah, dammit. "Well, I'm still in the middle of a discussion.", I reply. I concentrate on my inner voices again.  
Bee is timidly arguing with the beast whisperer, another voice is humming the theme song of the Godfather and the joker is laughing, as always. Right now, it is practicing its villainess laughter, so I guess that means it is in favor of the offer.  
 _'Wendy doesn't want to work! Working is stupid!'_ , Wendy pouts.  
 _'So much to do, so little time'_ , another one sighs.  
The last voice has a point. "Our time is already sold. We might sell it in the future though.", I finally give the dark mage my answer. "I see. I will relay your answer. Well, that is all, what I wanted to discuss. You may tend to your other duties.", the dark mage dismisses me. Why do other people always decide for me, when to leave? I bid him goodbye with a cold 'Toodeloo' nonetheless and obediently leave. I didn't want to share bread with you anyways! You're too dark, scary mage!  
I mean, too scary, dark mage!

My next stop is 'The Last Round'. I haven't decided on how to deal with the Anarchs yet, but trading a few words with them shouldn't hurt. I'm only going, since Nines mentioned someone, who wanted to talk to me. I'm not going, because I missed listening to Nines' voice. Definitely not. That would be ridiculous.  
"You showed up.", Nines greets me. He's standing next to the smiling Jack, who saved me from frenzying last time. "No, I won't put on a show for you. Where's the one, who mistook me for Jesus?", I ask him, with a carefully neutral voice. "Mistook you for Jesus? Kid, I don't speak Malkavian. Although wait… You mean Tara?  
The one you saved? She's the one standing over there." "Well, I don't speak numbers. Also, I didn't come here, to listen to your voice. I did not, ok? Anyways, number, smiling one.", I slightly nod to them, before leaving towards the person Nines motioned to.  
"This one mistook us for Jesus?", I ask her curiously. She's a young woman with skin as dark as chocolate and long, black voluminous hair. "What? Mistook you for Jesus? Wait, are you the Malkavian, who told Jack where to find me?" I tilt my head in confusion. "I only gifted him one of my precious business cards?"  
Tara's eyes start to shine upon hearing that. "So it was you. I was held in capture in that business. I know, that you probably didn't think of anything, when you gave that card to Jack, but your Insight saved my life nonetheless. That's why I wanted to thank you." She shyly looks at me, as she says that. Cute.  
Her face is also very cute. "Who wanted to play Cowboys and Native Americans with you?", I ask her. "Hunters. I don't know how they managed to find me, but I'll have to lay low for a while. Jack killed all the hunters, who were there, but I'm afraid, that there might be others, who will hunt me now. Once you're on their list, surviving becomes difficult.", she explains calmly. "You don't seem to be a fiery one. You're not a child of Brujah?", I comment. "I'm Toreador. Ah, I haven't introduced myself yet. I'm Tara Wood, nice to meet you.", she replies and extents a hand to me. I grab her hand with both hands and do a curtsey. "Adeline Martel is our official name.", I introduce myself. "You can look for me, if you need a favor.", she offers me smiling. I nod. "Will do. Toodeloo."  
I proudly return to Smiling Jack and Nines. "Since you have no need for my treasure anymore, give it back.", I turn to Jack and extent my hand. Smiling Jack chuckles, but fetches two cards from his pocket. "Sure kiddo. I even have an addition for your precious card collection." I excitedly take the cards. "Oh, I don't have that one yet.", I comment cheerfully, with shining eyes. I suppress the glint of joy in my eyes and turn to Nines. "I'm currently offering forgiveness. The price is good: just a shared meal, something fancy or extraordinary. Are you interested?" "Is that so?", he replies indifferently. I'm not disappointed. Not. At. All.  
"She seems to like you, Nines.", Smiling Jack comments amused. "What? Me? Hahaha. No. I don't like his voice. I was never good at math anyways."  
Actually, I was quite good at math, but I won't admit something embarrassing like that. Anyways, me liking a puny number? Ridiculous.  
If I would like a number, when it would be something more powerful, like a ten. Or even thirteen. But a nine? Don't make me laugh!  
 _Liar, liar, pants on fire.  
_ No, you're the liar! Your whole family are liars!  
Nines looks at me pensively. "I'll think about it, newbie." I'm not smiling. Who says, that I am smiling? I cough. "Toodeloo.", I bid them goodbye and quickly disappear. I'm not fleeing or anything, I just have so much to do tonight.

A while later I'm back at my haven, watching TV. The newsman is on air again, but he acts as if he wouldn't see me. "Also in the news, LAPD Commander Edward Collins stated in an interview, that the Knock-Knock burglars have finally been caught. The group consisting of four men were active since the beginning of this year and have mainly been targeting the elderly. They would knock on the doors of elders living alone and force their way in, when the elders answered the door, by threatening the victims with their revolvers. The group has completed a total of 34 cases of burglary, in which 7 cases escalated and lead to the murder of the house owners. In the interview, Commander Collins especially praised the work of Officer Harry Thompson, who has been leading the operation.", the reporter reports.  
"Meh, why would I care about something like that?", I comment uninterested.  
"Breaking news, our journalists have just confirmed, that LAPD Commander Collins also regularly likes to eat doughnuts. He even described eating doughnuts as part of his occupation." Wait, what? "Furthermore, Officer Thompson also earned a lot of criticism, since he is suspected of owing a favor to a suspicious individual.  
The identity of this individual hasn't been confirmed yet, but it is probably you." Whoa, didn't see that coming.  
"Can you show me face of this Officer Thompson again?", I politely ask the Newsman. "Next, we will show the face of Officer Thompson, who, again, also seems to have a love for doughnuts." I stare at the face in the TV, trying to remember, where I have seen him before. One of my voices suddenly starts humming 'Brucia la Terra' again. Damn those godfather-songs, they're so catchy. Wait. "Uniform loser! It's you!", I exclaim surprised. Yes, he's the one with the cheating wife. Lucky me, that he still owns me a favor. Well, that favor has time for another night.


	13. Family fun is not for villains

**Chapter 12: Family fun is not for villains**

* * *

After waking up, I pet my pet a bit, before heading out to work. Her rainbow-colored hair is so magnificent; I love it. "Uhm, master?", my pet meows. "Who's a good girl? Huh, who's a good girl?", I reply, while ruffling her hair. I'm currently sitting on the couch, with my pet's head on my lap, and the rest of her body also on the couch. "Master? Uhm, could I… could I get another sip of your blood? Please! I… I want to feel you in my veins again. Pretty please?", my pet meows again.  
Ah, I see. She must be hungry. Pets need to be fed regularly. Well, I don't know much about pets yet, so I'm not sure though, whether my guess is correct.  
"Alright, come here, sit on my lap.", I softly command my beloved pet. I help her nestle on my lap and bare my neck. My finger traces down my neck, slicing it open. "Come here, drink." My pet starts shyly licking my wound, growing bolder with every lick. "That's enough", I command her, with a light tap on her forehead.  
She immediately stops licking. What an obedient pet I have. "Thank you, master. Feeling you flowing through me… Words can't describe, how happy I am.", my pet dreamily meows. Cute. I smile at her. "We have to sail into the night, be obedient and keep watch on the haven like a lighthouse.", I instruct her, as I stand up.  
"Ah, master! I have finished your outfit. Do you want to wear it, before heading out?", she shyly asks me. I can tell, how badly she wants me to wear it, but I'll have to disappoint my cute pet. "I will save it for a special occasion. Also, it's still incomplete, the most important part is still missing. But it's already on its way to completion.", I explain to her, before heading out to play- I mean, to work. Yes, work is important.

While walking down the streets, I can't shake off the feeling of being watched. I don't know to whom these eyes belong to, but they don't feel like the nasty eyes.  
I'm used to nasty eyes watching me, so they don't creep me out anymore, but these eyes… I keep turning around and round, but the eyes stay hidden.  
I will have to lure them out, somehow. A few steps farther, I spot a dark alley, with the word 'somehow' written on it. Perfect!  
I turn into the alley and walk deeper into the alley, before turning around and exclaiming, "Aha!" … but despite my exclamation, no one's there.  
'Was I wrong?', the moment I think this, a tentacle suddenly appears in my field of vision from behind me. I turn around and take a step back, but the tentacles already entangled me, before I can move further away, wrapping around my feet, stomach and head, blocking my mouth from screaming. In front of me is a gigantic kraken, staring at me with its big pop eyes. I desperately try to struggle, but it is useless, as the kraken draws me closer and closer towards him. A huge mouth, filled with hundreds of long, sharp teeth appears in front of me, and swallows me whole. Panic fills my mind, as I sink into total darkness.

Poke. Poke. I growl and shove the annoying thing away, that is poking my cheek. Wait. I open my eyes. What happened? Where am I? I start examining my surroundings. A leaking roof, walls covered in graffiti, some rubble lying around… My eyes wander to the side, where the annoying, poking thing came from. A woman is standing there, with shoulder-length, curly red hair and a stick in her hands. I say red hair, but in comparison to lighthouse or V.V., her hair is more orange than red. Apart from that, she has a slim face and a slim figure and is wearing knee-long khaki shorts and a simple green shirt. Oh, and her cupcakes must be nerds, since they both only get A's. "Finally awake?", the woman remarks. Her voice lacks emotion, so it's hard to tell whether she would prefer baking cupcakes with me or turning me into cupcakes. I sit up and carefully examine my body. Despite being eaten by a kraken; I don't seem to have any wounds. But… why am I only wearing panties? Maybe the stomach acid of the kraken destroyed my other clothes? Yes, that must be it, it makes sense.  
"Where does this mattress sleep?", I ask the strange orange-head, while motioning to the mattress I'm lying on. "Ugh, I knew you were Malkavian. This place used to be a high-class hotel, but it is abandoned now. I use this basement as my haven during my stay in L.A., but you came here just before sunrise, so I couldn't turn you away.", she replies slightly annoyed. "And the one before me?", I inquire undisturbed by her cold attitude. "Caroline Huggins." "Ok, got it. Hugging carrot. Nice to meet you, I'm Adeline Martel.", I reply politely. Hugging carrot rolls her eyes at me and retreats to her corner of the room, where she starts writing something.  
I stand up and curiously inspect her haven. She also has one of these dirty, worn-out mattresses, but hers is surrounded by various books and glasses, filled with various kinds of insects. She is sitting cross-legged in front of a small, improvised desk, totally ignoring me. "If you have gawked enough, please leave.", she says, without looking up from her notes. "Why does the hugging carrot collect its predator?", I ask her. Aren't vegetables supposed to be afraid of insects? "I am an entomologist. I study insects. And I have no reason to be afraid of them." She finally looks up from her notes, and adds, "You on the other hand should be careful with them." Interesting. In other words, these insects don't eat carrots, but they might eat me? I inspect one of the glasses more closely. A huge wasp is inside.  
I didn't know, that wasps could grow so big? I certainly don't want to be bitten by it. The insects start to creep me out a bit, so I start searching for my bag instead. Luckily, I find it lying next to the mattress, where I slept. "I won't disturb the mistress of insects any longer.", I bid hugging carrot goodbye and head upstairs. I use the dimension device in my bag to call my favorite superhero and wait for his arrival, before leaving this rundown building.

"Where to?", he asks me the usual question, without minding my lack of clothes. "Home, sweet home.", I answer, while hiding on the backseat. My cupcakes are treasures, not everyone has the right to see them. At least that's Bee's opinion and I'm too lazy to argue with her. I'm still trying to sort my memories of what happened last night, therefore I don't try talking to cab-man this time. When we arrive at the haven, I simply shove some green in his hands and use obfuscation to reach the door to my humble abode. I stop obfuscating after entering, and an upset pet immediately greets me, "Master! You're back! I was so afraid, that you wouldn't come back. You were gone for so long, I was worried." I drop my bag next to the door and softly pet her head.  
"There, there. Master is back, no need to worry." My pet calms down a bit, after being petted, but starts inspecting my body. "Master… where are your clothes?", she asks me confused, while her cheeks suddenly redden. "They deserted me. Those cowards!", I reply, while playfully shaking my fist. "Ah. It doesn't matter. So long as you're back...", she says with a smile. Such a cute pet. "Oh, before I forget… There was something in the mail for you today, master.", rainbow hastily adds, as she hands me an envelope. Inside is a letter and a small panda figurine made of plastic and metal. This must be the equipment I requested from Rancid Randy.  
The letter contains some instructions on how to use it, but I can't be bothered with reading the manual right now. I pet her head again as a reward, before swiftly putting on some new clothes, a white blouse and black pencil skirt. After that, I do my hair into twin buns. To emphasize my professional office-look, I stick a ballpoint pen in each bun and put on some fake glasses. Instead of my usual bag, I put my important things in a briefcase, such as a banana, paper sheets, a gun, a plastic stick I found in a bin, more ballpoint pens, a knife and some random brochures. I slip into some black pumps and head out, where cab-man is still waiting for me.  
I might have underestimated his super-cab-ability. I thought, that it would be a lame ability at first, but knowing when and where someone needs a ride, is pretty awesome in its own way, isn't it?

I head to the empire first, since that is the place, where I met my target. I'm quite thirsty, so I will hunt, before meeting him. I didn't have much luck in hunting in the empire up to now, but that is going to change tonight! Why? Because I came up with a new strategy. Instead of enticing boring people with beautiful words, I will feed on beautiful people with the crudest words: in the language spoken by my hands. Before I even enter the Bar room, a woman is leisurely coming out.  
' _Refresh the paint to attract the fly and attracting the spider instead.'_ , one of my voices snickers amused.  
Sounds like one of those weird old Chinese idioms. I don't know about spiders, but I am attracted to her blood. Her scent wafted in my nose, when she walked past me. Her scent reminds me of wedding cake: everyone wants a taste of it, but only the bride and groom get to cut it. I'm the bride of course, the groom is still in the bar. Well, ladies first, the groom must wait. My wedding cake pays me no mind, as I enter the bathroom behind her and searches for her paint in her bag. I simply walk behind her, place my briefcase down and swiftly bite into her delicious neck and take a sample of her taste, before retracting my fangs. A sip of her blood was enough to make her dazed. Since I don't like being watched while eating, I drag her into one of the stalls, where I properly embrace her, to leisurely drink her blood.  
Having finished my meal, I simply leave her on the toilet seat.

In the bar room, I immediately find my target sitting at the counter and drinking some cognac. Aww, I bet he's thinking about me. "Care for some company?", I purr, while placing my briefcase beside him and taking a seat next to him. He glances at me, probably surprised at seeing me again. "Excuse me, do I know you?", he asks me, his voice laced with suspicion. Aww. He probably can't believe his eyes, that he is meeting me, the girl of his dreams, again. "Don't tell me, you forgot me!", I playfully counter. "I'm sorry, I don't remember you. When and where have we met?", he replies. Playing hard to get?  
"Let's reminisce about our fated meeting somewhere else, with less eyes around.", I suggest. The son of Thomp stares at me for a moment with suspicious eyes, pondering about something. "Well, why the hell not.", I hear him mumble, as he finally agrees to follow me towards my favorite corner.  
"So what's your business with me?", Thompson interrogates me, as soon as we sit down. "Oh you, stop the cold act already. We're very close after all, aren't we?", I retort, slowly starting to get annoyed from his tsundere-attitude. "I don't think so.", he replies flatly. I see, he wants to be persuaded. Geez, such a princess.  
"Well, does this thing change your thoughts?", I retort confidently, while placing one of the items from my briefcase in front of him. "… A banana?", he sarcastically remarks, while looking at me weirdly. I thought, that kine would like bananas?! This voice of mine sounded so confident, when she suggested using the banana to convince him of our relationship. "Not enough, eh? You're a greedy one. When, how about this?", I exclaim, while dramatically slapping the next card in my sleeve on the table. He tenses up, upon seeing my card on the table. That means, that I got the right one, doesn't it?  
"Oho, I'm finally appearing in your head again?", I tease him. "Are you trying to scam me? I'm happily married! Why are you showing me a pregnancy test?", he retorts angrily. "Happily bound by marriage? You? My crazy pumpkin? With who, the whore?" The son of Thomp grows pale, upon listening to my words. Finally remembering your debt to me, are we? "Crazy pumpkin?! Then you and I really…? Damn, I shouldn't have drunk so much. And you're even pregnant. Shit.", he groans, while propping his face on the table with both hands. "Wait, are you sure it's mine?", he asks me. Is that hope in his eyes? What is he hoping for?  
"If it's not yours, then does it belong to Santa Clause?", I retort haughtily. Just accept the gift, that I gave you already! And take some responsibility for it! You can't simply ignore your debt to me. "I see. I will take responsibility for it.", the son of Thomp says, with determination in his eyes.  
"Amen to that. Now, let's play 'Zookeeper'. I'm the caged animal, and you're the keeper; your task is to feed me with cash and information. Roaar!" Wait, do giraffes roar? They do, right? I'm not a zoologist… For some reason, pumpkin's face grows bewildered. "Are you ON DRUGS?", he harshly interrogates me, while emitting the hot flames of anger. "Can't you see that I'm not up the ceiling, but right in front of you? Now feed me Mr. irresponsible keeper; the giraffe is with child!", I retort, while rolling my eyes. It's no fun to play with him, I want to dine on the liquid of the living instead. Uniform pumpkin shuts up and takes out his wallet instead and starts putting dollar bills in front of me, while happily humming a song. "Good boy.", I praise him, as I stuff the money away. Then I take out a sheet of paper and a handful of pens. "Next the information about the superior one. The one called Collins." "Why would an animal need the information about Mr. Collins?", he asks me with a doubtful gaze. How would I know that? I'm not a goddamn zoologist. "He's the one responsible for washing the stripes off the zebras. It is your duty as a keeper to investigate him!", I reply. The son of Thomp nods thoughtfully and starts spilling all his knowledge on the paper sheet. Ah, it feels good to have finished a task. I guess a bit of working isn't so bad. But I wonder, what giraffe tastes like? Time to find out!

The zoo is already closed, but something like that won't be able to stop someone as great as me. I swiftly climb over the glass wall, by using the door handle as stepping stones, while taking care not to be noticed by the police-imitation sitting inside the ticket cage, and elegantly jump down on the other side.  
Why is there even a guard at the entrance, I mean who would be so bold as to break into the zoo from the front side?  
 _Yes, who indeed.  
_ After successfully entering the zoo, I leisurely walk around, until I arrive at the giraffe enclosure. Getting into the enclosure is far easier than getting into the zoo was. The giraffes are sleeping while using their butts as pillows, it looks kind of cute. I'm envious, I also want to sleep with my head resting on a comfy butt.  
I sneak towards one of the giraffes and drill my teeth in its long neck. I bet some kindred have a fetish for such long necks.  
Its blood tastes like the train ride from Chicago to Los Angeles – long and boorish. Well, to be honest, I'm not sure what I expected…  
Though the blood was a bit disappointing, this trip was totally worth it! I continue exploring the zoo, observing monkeys, rhinos, elephants, danger-cats, funny big birds and wolves. Hm, one of the wolves looks a bit bigger than the others. Oh, it's looking over here. Now that it is approaching me, I can clearly see how much bigger this wolf is than the others. It really is a big wolf. Really big. I don't know why, but I'm starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. Probably due to my voices, who started screaming ' _DANGER!_ ' into my ears. Maybe I should leave. I turn around and start running. A loud howl rings out from behind and I glance back without slowing down. That, uh, that is not good. The big wolf escaped the wolf enclosure and is fiercely chasing me. "Sunshine, sunshine, sunshine!", I curse and try to hasten my steps. Sharp pain suddenly washes over my back and I'm tossed to the side. I hurtle through the air and crash against the pillar of a wooden bridge.  
Panic pours into my mind, conquering my consciousness, as big bad wolf is drawing closer to me again. My whole body aches from my fall, especially the pang in my back is unbearable, but I try to lift myself up nonetheless, desperately crawling away from the big bad wolf.  
Another howl suddenly resonates from far away, averting big bad wolf's attention for a moment, as he answers the howl with his own. I snap out of my daze, finally get up and start running again. The howling behind me stopped, just when I got back on a path. There's a small building in front of me, and I frantically race towards it, as the sound of paws is closing up on me again. I barely managed to enter it, when the claws of big bad wolf shred the door, as if it would be made of thin paper instead of thick wood. A part of the stone frame has also been torn off. Why is this wolfie so insanely strong?! While wolfie is still struggling to get inside, I head to another room of the small building. In the first room were sinks and mirrors, while this room has a couple of stalls. I look into the stalls and luckily find a small window leading outside in one of them. I can hear wolfie growling in frustration, as he still struggles to enter, while I'm already opening my escape route.  
Seriously though, the entrance is not that small? He should be able to enter, if he would just crouch down a bit? I guess wolfie isn't the brightest candle on the chandelier… I obfuscate, as I crawl out of the window, in case big dumb wolf notices my absence in the building and head towards the exit of the zoo.  
My back still hurts like hell. This is definitely the last time that I visit the zoo.  
Having covered some distance between me and wolfie, I stop obfuscating, while continuing my way. All this running and hiding made me thirsty again, but I won't risk running into wolfie again, by staying in this zoo of hell any longer than needed. "Hello there. I see you survived your encounter with the werewolf?" I halt and glance towards the source of the voice. A man with long dark hair, wearing glasses and a brown leather coat is standing there, under a stone archway. His eyes emit a weird glow. Next to him is the mistress of insects, hugging carrot or what her name was. She's silently staring at me, looking a bit displeased.  
Have I bothered her in any way? Why is she always looking at me like that? I straighten my back despite the pain and questioningly look at the man, who spoke to me. "Does the hunter of perished things have any business with me?", I ask him. I feel a bit wary of him, since he seems to have observed me. "Oh no. I was just accompanying my friend, when I noticed, that you were in a pinch. It seemed as if you would die, if I wouldn't help you a bit, so I distracted the werewolf. In the end, werewolves are still wolves, they sure love to howl.", the stranger replies with a slightly sarcastic smile. "Damn, I wish I was as good at imitating animal calls as you.", I confess amazed. The stranger chuckles and replies, "Well, you could call it a special talent of our clan. But enough of that, I wonder, what brings someone as young as you to this dangerous place? Certainly, they have told you, that you should stay away from Griffith Park? It's werewolf territory after all.", he asks me. I get the feeling, that he is criticizing me for coming here, but at the same time he seems awfully casual and uncaring. Well, whatever. Guys? Did they tell us to stay away from Griffith Park?  
 _Uh, I don't know. I wasn't listening, when dark mage instructed us…  
Me too. It was way too boring.  
I only care about you, Solitaire. I'm not interested in the blabbing of others.  
Well, I knew. He said, that we should be careful when traveling to unpopulated places with vast flora and fauna, like the Griffith Park, since werewolves tend to live in such places. He also said, that werewolves seem to dislike the lack of wilderness in human cities._  
If you knew, then why didn't you say anything? We nearly died again! And you know, how unpleasant dying is!  
' _Well, excuse me, but you didn't ask!'_ , the voice replies sulking.  
Ah, you're right, it's my own fault for not asking.  
"So why are you and the mistress of insects present, Mr. stranger?", I counter-ask him with upturned eyes, in order to evade his question. I may admit my fault to my own voices, but that surely doesn't mean, that I will admit it to others as well. "Oh, pardon me, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Beckett. Usually my reputation proceeds me, so I'm not used to having to introduce myself. Surely, you will forgive me?" Beckett is truly a stranger. He's smiling haughtily, while asking for forgiveness. His whole attitude is arrogant, yet not in an overbearing way. So strange. I like this weirdo. "For forgiveness is given, this one shall reveal its name: Adeline Martel. Pleased to meet you.", I properly introduce myself with a curtsey. While I'm doing the curtsey, mistress of insects tugs on Beckett's sleeve. "We have to leave.", she states emotionlessly. "It seems the werewolf finally noticed your presence here. Care to join us for a ride?", Beckett asks me nonchalantly.  
"Like father, like child. I don't feel welcomed here anymore.", I accept his offer. I follow the two of them to the end of the parking lot, where a metallic brown land rover is parked. I get to have the back seat for myself, while Beckett is driving and hugging carrot plays co-driver.  
"Do you like jokes? I love jokes. Oh, do you know this one? So, two loners go on a date in the zoo... Why?", I ask them out of curiosity and boredom. Loners like them are not exactly car-entertainers. They stay silent for a moment, before Beckett breaks the silence, "As I already mentioned, I just accompanied Miss Huggins. As for Miss Huggins intentions, she'll have to answer that for herself." Gosh, talking with them is nearly as frustrating as talking with myself.  
"Insect studies. Their new Tapir carried a rare parasite.", hugging carrot answers reluctantly. "You really do enjoy collecting insects, huh. I prefer collecting business cards, but each their own. Wanna see my business card collection?", I generously offer her. "No need.", she refuses immediately. Geez, someone must have left the refrigerator on in her heart, because she is as cold as ice! "So, uhm… Were you able to expand your collection?", I ask her. "Yes."  
Maybe it's the car? Like, people don't like talking in cars? Cab man also doesn't talk much. I think I'm onto something… "Is it a special piece? Or just a rare item? My most precious collectible is the business card of a self-proclaimed Jesus. He offers absolution for just a few Benjamins, no matter how great your sins are!" Hugging carrot just silently glances at me through the rearview window. "It's not that special, huh. Well, it's a pity that it doesn't suck. But hey, a good collection includes even the boring collectibles.", I try to cheer her up. "It's not-!", she sighs, "It's a rare fly, that lays its eggs in the blood vessels of mammals. Only a handful of entomologist know about the existence of this species. Vets are unable to even diagnose the infestation of this parasite on animals, not to mention how to treat them." "Fascinating. How did you smell this collectible out?", I ask her. "All animals get examined, before entering the zoo. The vet, who did the examination, noticed the peculiar rashes, typical for this kind of infection, and mistook it as a type of non-contagious eczema. I knew, that this symptom is usually mistaken as that certain type of eczema and that this fly inhabits the home country of this Tapir, so I decided to check it out, hoping that it would be infested instead. Lucky for me, I was right with my guess.", she patiently explains to me. I see. Mistress of insects grows more talkative, when talking about insects.

A while later, Beckett stops at a bus stop in Downtown. "You should be able to find your haven from here. But before you go, I'd like to remind you, since you're not well versed in the workings of kindred society, that you are expected to repay kindred with a favor, if they save your life. I won't mind, if you repay Miss Huggins instead of me though, since it was her idea to save your life to begin with. I usually don't meddle into the business of other kindred, you see. Anyways, farewell, young one." I also bid the two loners goodbye and hop out of the car. I watch the car leave, before I head home.  
I wonder, what the relationship between these two loners is?  
I catch myself some thug on my way home and immediately head to bed after arriving home. My back is still aching, though it got a bit better already and I'm kind of tired from this long night.

* * *

 _Author's note: Caroline is inspired by a history added by the Clan Quest Mod. It should be obvious which Clan she belongs to, without me spelling it out, right?_


	14. Like a Santa

**Chapter 13: Like a Santa**

* * *

 _Author's note: Merry christmas. Coincidentally, this chapter somewhat matches the day I'm uploading it._

 _Sidenote: Also, apparently a member of the Beatles is burried on the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.  
_

* * *

There are still traces of wolfie's claw left on my back the next night. It's impressive and annoying. Impressive, because all my other wounds since rebirth only needed an hour or two to heal and annoying, because now I can't wear the backless top of my pet. I'll have to wear my maid uniform instead. I pack my small black bag for my visit with Mr. big cop, namely screwdrivers, the magical door opener, the equipment from Rancid Randy and a few other things I might need.  
Before heading out, I check my dimension device for any letters. Some camping bell is hunting for blood or something; I don't really get why I would need to know that.  
 _The queen blows back. The king is not amused.  
_ There are no other letters apart from this camping-bell-spam. My appointment with head of doughnuts is later in the night, so I have some fun-time until then.

Now then, where should I set my eyes upon? Family fun, like visiting zoos, appears to be lethal to my kind, but what is an appropriate activity for kindred? The answer is as obvious as the intentions of a young, hot blondie dating an old fat millionaire: hanging out on cemeteries. We are dead after all, aren't we?  
And dead people simply LOVE cemeteries, that is why you can always find dead people chilling under the earth on cemeteries. I'm not interested in visiting the father of kine-me, he is not the father of me, besides he and kine-me never had such a close relationship, that they would be visiting each other graves. So, other graves, those inhabitants I know of… would only be in Holly's Wood!  
A while later, cab man drops me off next to the Vesuvius. I consider visiting the double V for a moment, but I'm not in the mood for intensely staring into each other eyes in some cozy lounge. I find myself some thuggish snack in an alley close to the cemetery, before visiting the main attraction. To be honest, I'm getting bored of the thuggish taste of thugs, but they're easy prey after all, and I don't seem to have the patience to convince every little thirst-remedy to give me their sweet juice voluntarily. The entrance to the cemetery is already closed. Why? Why is everything always closed, when I come?! Well, not that this ever stopped me from entering…  
I try to find a gap in the net of stone surrounding the cemetery, but the gap has already been bricked up. I sigh and look around.  
If only I could find something to climb over the wall… I spot a trashcan next to a bum, not too far away. The bum seems to be the owner of the trash can. I swiftly approach the bum, before politely asking him, "Excuse me? But aren't you this famous ladder? The one standing next to the cemetery wall? I loved you in 'See you ladder, babe'!" The bum blushes slightly, probably happy that someone recognized him. The kine in Holly' Wood are surely strange, they all want attention and being recognized and getting stalked by professionals. "Oh my, that was my first role. I can't believe someone still remembers…", he replies enthusiastically.  
"Oh, how could I ever forget such an amazing performance! Please, may I ask for a demonstration of your acting skills?", I ask him with upturned eyes. "Oh. Oh, yeah? Well, what was your favorite scene?", he answers shyly. "The one, where you are a ladder, leaning next to the cemetery wall!", I exclaim happily. "Well, for my fans I'm willing to do anything!", he replies with a smile and heads towards the cemetery wall. While the bum is standing next to the wall, with his arms against it, I climb over his back and on his shoulders. With the bum's help, getting over the wall is a piece of cherry cake.

After a few steps, a man suddenly blocks my path. "Uhm, can I help you, Sir?", I ask him perplexed. The man replies with a growl and suddenly bits into my shoulder. "Argh! Son of the sun! THAT HURTS!", I yell and send him flying with a kick. The man only replies with another senseless growl and picks himself up, when a part of his brain is suddenly blown away. "Back into your grave, George.", orders the man with the gun still pointing towards his head. George growls again, but this time it sounds more defeated, as he crawls towards a mudhole. He covers himself with the dirt, until his body can't be seen anymore.  
"Yeah, that's right, you nasty bug! Go play in the dirt, where you belong! I never liked your chirping anyway.", I comment, still peeved about the bite. I'm the one, who bites! "Careful, cupcake. This ain't a playground.", the zombie tamer says, as he turns his attention towards me. "Anyways, you might wanna wait until that heals, before heading out. Wanna come to my hut?", he smoothly asks me. I instinctively reach towards my shoulder. The bite marks are quite deep, a piece of meat is even missing… Yep, that could scare some kine. Maybe. I agree and follow him down the path and into a small, rundown house.  
Inside, he sits down on an old leather couch, while putting his gun into his armpit holster. I curiously examine the zombie tamer more closely. He has dark hair and brown eyes. A big scar is covering his face, from his forehead over the left eye to his cheek. "What do I call the zombie tamer?", I ask. "Name's Romero. And I'm not a zombie tamer. I'm just the one, who keeps them in check. Though I'm damn good at it, most of them usually don't even leave their graves, so long as I'm here.", he brags with a smile. "You seem to like your profession. How long have you been taming zombies?", I ask him. "Uh, been doing that for a while already. About ten years, I think. What can I say? I do love my job. Especially since most zombies here used to be asshole celebrities…", he replies. "Why do the dead not sleep here? They don't like to rest?" "You're telling me. No one knows. They were looking into it, but nothing came up till now. Not that I mind being stuck with this job."  
I nod understandingly. "Yes, the dark curtain is mysterious and full of secrets. Only a seamstress can fix the hole.", I muse loudly. "Anyways, who are you, cupcake? You're definitely kindred, Malkavian more precisely, so much is clear. You have some business here?", he asks me. "Business? Yes, I'm on a mission. A mission to have fun! You may call me Adeline, by the way.", I smoothly introduce myself. "Here to have fun, huh? I could also use some fun.", he comments, his voice sounding a bit ambiguous. His gaze wanders over my body, I wonder what he's looking for?  
"By the way, there is a first aid kit in the bathroom. In case you wanna tape that up.", he says, while motioning towards his shoulder. Why would I want to bandage his shoulder? But I better take care of mine. Finding the little box with a cross on it, isn't difficult. Using the content of the box on myself on the other hand is a hassle.  
I return to the small living room and throw the box towards Romero. He catches it, without problems to my disappointment, and looks at me questioningly.  
"Help me, please?", I plead with a sweet voice. "Sure.", he replies smiling. I take off my bag and my apron, sit down on his lap, with my lower legs lying on his thighs and my back towards him, and pull the sleeve of my dress down a bit. "Oh, you're a bold one. I like it. Nice ass by the way.", Romero says, as he puts a big patch on my wound. I giggle. How could an ass be nice? They're usually mean, aren't they? Romero is funny.  
"All patched up now. So, what kind of fun did you have in mind?", Romero asks me with a deep voice, as he parts his legs more, thereby also spreading mine as well.  
 _I don't like this… position.  
_ I get up from his lap and pull my sleeve back up, before turning around to him. "My mind is full of ideas, it's hard to choose. What kind of thoughts are playing in your mind?", I counter-ask him. "Uh, maybe, you and I could… you know…", Romero replies a bit flustered. "Play 'juggle the cupcakes'?", I take a wild guess.  
"Yes! Wait, do you mean what I think you mean?" I shrug. "Let's find out.", I retort, while crawling back on his lap, this time facing him.  
 _Wait, why would you let him touch you? It's not like you're going to feed on him?!  
_ He grins at me, as his hand reaches for my cupcake, while the other hand lies on my thigh, slowly pushing the hem of my dress back. "Only cupcakes for you.", I reprimand him and take his daring hand away. Let's ease Bee into this, she seems to be still struggling with any form of physical intimacy. My rebuke leaves him undisturbed as he starts stroking both of my cupcakes. The sensation of his hands over the thin cloth of my dress is surprisingly pleasant. For me at least, Bee says she feels incredibly uncomfortable and is begging me to stop. Come to think of it, I forgot to wear my b- Uhm, I mean, I consciously chose not to wear a bra tonight, in order to… protest for women's… something. Romero's fingers found the cherries on my cupcakes and his thumbs start circling around them. A sweet sigh escapes my lips, as a wave of pleasure washes over me. Romero's breathing is growing heavier. "So soft…", he mumbles, with his voice tainted by lust, as his body is getting harder.  
 _Enough already! You're not going to feed on him, so why would I have to endure this humiliation?! Don't you dare continue doing… this!_  
'What are you talking about? I'm merely pursuing the goal kine-me gave me.', I reply in my mind.  
Romero hasn't noticed my frown yet, as his eyes are fixated on my cupcakes, while one of his hands starts wandering to the back of my dress, searching for the zipper. _I'm not some cheap slut! Make him stop! Make him stop right now!  
_ Dammit, I guess Bee has reached her limit already. "Ok, playtime's over.", I say reluctantly, while pushing his hands away and getting up from his lap. "Wait, what? Why? C'mon, don't leave me hanging.", Romero complains. He seems quite upset. "Apologies, but you'll have to finish playing with yourself.", I reply unapologetic and simply take my apron and bag and leave the hut without looking back.  
Well, he was lying anyways, I didn't leave him hanging! He clearly didn't hang, I saw it!  
I walk back to the place, where I entered and climb on a mausoleum to get over the wall, since I have no human ladder here. I cause small ripples on the ground, as I elegantly land on the other side of the net. Wait, ripples? I look down on my feet, who are slowly sinking into the ground on which I solidly stood not too long ago. Since when is there a swamp here? I try to approach the white building with the solid-looking stone-ground around it, but I'm sinking deeper into the swamp with every step I take, and the sticky mud makes it hard to move. Dammit, what the sun is this?! The muddy water has already reached my waist, and I'm struggling to free my legs, only sinking deeper and deeper into the water, until only dark water is left in my field of vision.  
Does this swamp think I'm a mouse with a deadly desire for cheese? There's no way, that I'm going to let it simply swallow me! I take of my bag and blindly reach my hand into it, until I find what I've been looking for. 'Kuriau-ota, kuriau-ota, magic burst!', I chant in my mind, as I gracefully draw a circle into the mud water with my glorious magic wand (the one I found in the trashcan for sinners). The magic chant worked to my satisfaction, as the water around my legs grows thinner and less sticky, allowing me to swim back to the surface. After breaking through the water surface, I use it to support myself out of the now crystal-clear water.  
Once I step out of the water, the ground turns completely solid again. Man, watching those magical-girls-anime was totally worth it, I might've died again, if I wouldn't have learned this magic.

Mr. fancy-pants Scissorhands apparently lives in pretty air. I don't know, where in L.A. the air is considered pretty, I mean it's invisible and all? But my favorite superhero shouldn't have any problems with finding the address of pretty air. After arriving at the address, my former question about how to detect pretty air solved itself. The key to detecting places with pretty air, is to watch the growth of the houses. If the houses grow grand and magnificent, then the air is pretty.  
In front of me is an antique, marvelous mansion, in which the bed of the biggest cop sleeps.  
Entering the property poses no problem for the agile me, however entering the mansion is a different story. I avoid the gazing of the many lifeless eyes installed on the property and circle the mansion. All doors are closed and a rooster is sitting on each of them, ready to cry out, should one try to go through them, so entering with my magical key is out of the question. Dammit, why would a cop need so much protection? Only a lunatic would target him, it doesn't make any sense!  
I use an entrance pillar to climb on the lowest roof, from where I continue climbing over the house, using window frames and rain gutter as stepping stones. Since this mansion is a hard nut to crack, I'll have to imitate the greatest burglar of all time: Santa Clause. There is no person, who has broken into more houses than him, nor will there ever be one, he is simply the number one genius for breaking into houses.  
After a lot of climbing, I finally reach the old brick chimney. I stuff my apron into my bag, so that it'll stay clean and leap into the chimney. By pressing my hands and feet onto opposite walls of the chimney and an enormous amount of body tension, I manage to crawl down the chimney, without crashing down and breaking my neck on the bottom of the chimney. This is definitely something the mortal me never ever would've been able to pull off, especially since the air in the chimney tastes too smoky for breathing. This is another proof, that Santa Clause can't be human. I bet he's also a Childe of Malkav. A rope? For what would I use a rope?  
Climbing down the chimney proves itself to be quite a difficult task, but the most difficult part about entering like a Santa is getting through the small hatch at the bottom of the chimney. Seriously though, how does someone as voluminous as Santa manage to get through something as small as the hatch of this big ass chimney? This part of the task made me lament the size of my cupcakes for the first time after my embrace. The last time I hated their greatness this much was, when I wasn't born yet and still a stupid mortal doing stupid gym class while having forgotten to wear my stupid sports bra.  
After succeeding against the stupid hatch and standing on proper ground again, I inspect my lower arms. They're covered in bruises from the rough chimney walls, which are quickly healing. This small endeavor made me quite thirsty, hopefully the rest will be smoothly dealt with. My voices warn me of watchful eyes inside the house, so I obfuscate again. I roam through the house, until I find the room with the dimension device I've been looking for. I take out the little plastic panda Rancid Randy gave me, behead it and slide it into one of the ports of the dimension device. Then I turn the dimension device on, and the beheaded panda starts infecting it with its disease. I watch, as the sick dimension device logs itself on, while the disease progresses. After a while, a message pops up on the screen:

 _Good job, kid. I have now full control over the security system, you may leave via the front door. The cameras and alarm will be off for the next twenty minutes, so get your ass out of there. I will turn the computer off, once you left. Take care not to leave any other evidence of your visit._

 _-Randy_

I stuff the plastic panda with its head back on into my bag, and leisurely leave through the main entrance. Since the residents are asleep, I only had to worry about the eyes on the walls and the roosters, but the eyes are closed and the roosters silenced now. I head back to cab man, who has been faithfully waiting for me the whole time and he sails back to my haven. But before I go inside, I buy myself love in form of liquid life from one of the street vendors, since this mission made me very thirsty.

A sunrise and a sunset later, I visit the dolphin prince to get my quest reward. "I think I mentioned it to you before, but please refrain from coming here, unless it's important. I don't have the time to humor you whenever you have finished some small task for me.", the dolphin prince greets me. Is he annoyed by something?  
Nah, must be my imagination. "Here is the painting of the big cop. Now, what kind of treasure does the prince of the sea have for me?", I ask him with upturned eyes, as I hand the paper sheet to him, which my crazy pumpkin filled out. "I see. Randy already told me, that you managed to set up a virus in Collin's home security system for him. Observing his actions at home probably won't be worth much, but his E-mails should provide some useful information. Good job.", Dolphy praises me.  
"As for your reward, here, take this money.", he says, as he hands me a small bundle of Grants. "May this one ask, why play spy with the big cop?", I ask Dolphy out of curiosity.  
 _A bit too late to ask that, isn't it?_  
Meh, maybe. I don't really care.  
"Naturally, it's my responsibility as a prince of this city, to have a hold over the local police, so that crimes related to kindred at least won't reach the public. This city has been an Anarch state until recently, which is why I don't have enough influence over the police yet. I was able to hide the case of this kindred you took care of from the public, but it was only per chance and Mr. Galliano's commitment. Things would have been much easier, if I had more control over the police. It's unfortunate, that those Anarchs lack all the qualities of proper leadership and administration, otherwise they would realize how important having control over the police is. Now then, I still have work to do. Good evening, Miss Martel.", the prince dismisses me.  
I do a curtsey and quietly leave. Geez, dolphin prince is such a bore. Nines is more fun. "Hey kiddo. Come to The Last Round, I have something for you.", a charismatic voice informs me via my portable dimension device. Oh, I did it again. The speaking-of-the-devil magic. My magical abilities are growing lately, soon I'll really be able to call myself a magical girl.

"Number nine.", I greet him aloof. "What's up kiddo.", he replies equally aloof. Man, I'd sure like to ruffle his feathers and get him more passionate. Passionate, but not angry. An angry nine is too scary. "The moon is up. Rumor is, the nine has something for me? I hope it's a present. I LOVE presents, like a child on Christmas eve.", I retort smiling. "Over there, you see the one with a beer? She's a bit crazy, but you Malkavians like that, don't you? She's yours.", he explains, while motioning his head towards a punk chic. I boldly grab his hand with both hands, causing him to give me a questioning look. "Let's share?", I request with upturned eyes.  
He nods slightly and lets me drag him towards her. "Oh my gosh! That nail polish is amazing.", I shriek and grab her wrist to closer inspect her blood-like nails.  
"The fuck", she mutters, apparently already slightly dizzy from the alcohol. I smile at her reassuringly and bite into her wrist without restraint. All eyes on us are already dead after all. My gaze darts from her to Nines, who also takes a wrist and nonchalantly bites into it.  
Her blood tastes like some messy daddy-issues, and they're not the nice kind. Interesting.  
We put her on a couch downstairs afterwards, and head back to our place upstairs. "And then, it swallowed me! But I'm naturally too awesome, to die from something like this, so I escaped. And then I met the Mistress of Insects! She's quite interesting, the mistress. Her insects are a bit creepy though."  
"Ugh, it's not enough, that you're fucked up in the head and as stupid as a loaf of bread, NO, you also have to brag about it whenever you can. Seriously, you're just a retarded, childish, narcissistic lunatic. I don't get how Nines is even able to tolerate you.", lighthouse suddenly interrupts us. Aww, we missed you too, lighthouse.  
"You forgot 'slutty'.", I remind her politely. "Slutty?", Nines asks with a raised eyebrow. "I don't want to brag or anything, but I totally let a stranger touch my cupcakes not too long ago. So yeah, you could say I'm pretty slutty.", I answer proudly, with my chin raised. "Fucking bimbo.", lighthouse grumbles and leaves. We watch her leave, before resuming our conversation. "You don't mind being called stupid? Or slutty?", Nines asks me, as he looks at me skeptical and probing. "Lighthouse is right, except for the stupid part maybe. Or maybe she's also right with that. Who cares. What matters, is that I am exactly, who I always wanted to be.", I confess, only to cover my mouth in shock in the next moment. Oh no, he truly has the devil's tongue! To tickle my secrets so easily out of me.  
"Ha, you're so enthusiastic, kid. But I like that attitude. Whining about your damnation won't change a fucking thing after all.", a rough voice interrupts our conversation again. It's Smiling Jack. "Do you not have some pirate treasure to hunt after, Captain Jack?", I ask him slightly annoyed at having someone steal my precious Nines-time again. "No need to worry about my business, I have time for you, kiddo. So, what have you been up to lately?" Why is smiling Jack interested in that? "Nothing much, just grooving around a bit, traveling from here to there. Oh, and doing some work for his fishy majesty.", I reply lightly.  
"You're still working for the prince?", Nines interjects, looking seriously pissed. Whoa, who stepped on your tail? Jack on the other hand is as easygoing as ever.  
"Oh yeah, what did he order you to do?", he asks me. I tilt my head, before replying, "I can't tell the Smiling One. It would get all political then, wouldn't it? I don't want to mess with the politics, lest I get sick. The customer is always the only one, who gets to see the fruits of labor.", I explain to him.  
"So, you would also work for us, and not tell the prince?", Jack asks nonchalantly. I nod. "That course is of matter. But I don't do political work, so there is no contract clause for that." "The prince seems to think, that you're his lapdog. What you're gonna do, if he orders you to do something for him, involving other kindred?", Jack asks me probingly. I start stroking my chin deep in thought.  
 _Just do it, who cares, if it involves other kindred? Only if we work for the prince, we'll be able to climb the ladder._  
Who would want to climb a ladder? It's strenuous. Plus, the higher you are, the harder the fall will be.  
 _The puppet gets its strings cut, after the play finished.  
Guys, can we even do anything against an order from the prince? I mean, I also don't want to follow such an order, but what could we do, if it happens?  
Adorn the face of the puppet and equip Judas' knife._  
"Lunatics are unpredictable. I may know how to act like a lapdog, but in the end, I'm not one.", I confidently reply. "Well, if you want to graduate from being some gofer, to standing on your own two feet, you can come to us. He may call himself 'prince', but you're not forced to do all his dirty work for him, you know."  
Our conversation about his fallen comrades pops into my mind. "Not forced? Is the leash on my neck that loose? Though we are an orphanage?", I state my doubt. "Kiddo, the Camarilla is a big pile of shit, but they don't enslave you like that. In the Camarilla, it's all about favors, just like the mafia. If you're unwilling, then the prince can only search for a reason that forces you to do it anyways, he can't punish you for simply not wanting to work for him. So long, as you don't 'owe' him any favors at least.", Jack explains to me. "Huh. Well, time to read the job sections in the newspapers again then. Humoring Dolphy has gotten boring after all.", I muse aloud. "A step in the right direction. Right, Nines?", Jack turns to Nines. The number huffs and looks away. Is he pouting? "Well, I will leave you to your treasure hunting, Smiling Jack. This maid will properly go celebrating her quitting time now." I bid the two of them goodbye and return to my haven. Celebrating on your own is for losers!

"Master, why are we going out all of the sudden?", my pet asks me, while sitting down next to me in cab man's cab. "Do I need a reason to walk my pet?", I counter. "Where to?", cab man asks me, while ignoring my pet completely. "Holly's wood. I want to dance with the stars in the night sky.", I reply. Cab man and pet stay silent during the journey, while I hum my favorite elevator music.  
Cab man drops us off in front of the red spot and I excitedly grab Rainbow's wrist and drag her through the streets. "Let's trade some Grants for you. How about a collar? The treasure baron sells pretty ones.", I chat with her, as I track her to the shop window of baron Holly Wood. "What? Something so expensive… I don't think, that I can afford a necklace, Master.", pet shyly says, while staring at the display nonetheless. "Let's take this one.", I say, while pointing to a loosely hanging, golden collar with a crystal tear clinging onto it. "Wait here.", I command my pet, before heading inside the jewelry store.  
Inside, I find the treasure baron sitting behind his desk. He shortly glances at me and casually asks me, "Why are you here, young one?" "I want to exchange these Grants with one of your treasures.", I explain. He pushes some button on his desk and his fingers resume their tap-dance on his keyboard. A young, handsome man with brown hair appears shortly after, "How may I help you, Mr. Abrams?" Treasure baron motions to me, before replying, "The young lady over there would like to purchase something."  
 _The treasure baron treasures handsomeness more than beauty.  
_ "Of course, Mr. Abrams." I trade the Grants with the Ghoul and quickly leave. Outside, I put the collar on my pet. She seems to like it. I take her hand this time, instead of the wrist and continue our journey.  
Next stop is the Asp Hole. Something suddenly catches my attention, causing me to stop in my track. My gaze follows the movement I saw towards a decrepit, Asian-looking building. I step towards the fence of the property, to observe it more closely. "Master? Is something wrong?", my pet asks me anxiously. I turn to her and give her a soothing smile. "Everything's as fine as French wine.", I reassure her. I thought, I had seen some puddlemudges, hiding in the building, but I must have been wrong. Though I can't shake the feeling off, that there is something in there; something that is staring back at me.  
 _Trust no one, but yourself, Sol. Not even your eyes.  
_ Uhm, sure… I will keep it in mind. Well, time to wiggle towards the hole of asps. Maybe I'll also let the others dance for a bit.


	15. Bashing Babies

**Chapter 14: Bashing Babies**

* * *

As soon as my eternal enemy, the sun, goes to sleep for another night, I happily jump out of my wardrobe-coffin. Tonight, is the big night! The night, there I will be reborn! Yes, tonight I'm going to wear THAT. That one outfit, that has a 99% chance of making the prissy prince piss himself. The scariest of scary outfits, that is capable of frightening even the oldest, meanest vampire in existence. I carefully read my almanac, before making this decision, and the result is that this night is perfect for its inauguration. "How is it? Horrifying? Horrifying enough to horrify Dr. Mao?", I ask my pet after adorning it. "Uhm, sure. No, definitely. It's perfect.", she answers smiling. Oh man, this is going to be awesome. I can't wait to see the prince covering in fear.

"Why have you come here again? I didn't order you to come-", the prince stops in his tirade, as he spots my new outfit and he silently stares at me from top to bottom and back to the top. His eyes narrow a bit, but apart from that his face stays as stoic as ever. Dammit! What does a girl have to wear to make him loose his poker-face?! "Anyways, why are you here?", he asks me. His voice sounds a bit more stern than usual, I think? So, the outfit did shock him! A small victory is better than no victory at all. "I just felt like I needed to be here. You like my new garments?", I cheerfully tease him. Come one, say it! Say, that it's horrifying.  
"Cute.", he replies, but he doesn't sound, as if he would be talking about something cute. Well, I'm dressed as the arch enemy of vampires after all: as a magical girl. White boots and stockings, a white plaid skirt with pink stripes and a white-pink top with a big, pink ribbon on my chest. There's another pink ribbon around my neck, and I'm also wearing long, white fingerless gloves. In addition, there's a magic staff holstered on my back, made of wood and metal and painted in white-gold-pink. There's and orb on the top, with a heart engraved on it and wings closely attached to it. The edges of the wings are sharp enough to cut flesh, so you can also use it as a mace, making it a multi-purpose-weapon. I named it Hearto. I admit, my outfit might not be perfect for bloodbaths, since it is all white and all, but I have a few copies of the clothes, so it's no problem.  
"Good evening, Prince Valois. Oh, and good evening to you, Miss Martel. You look adorable tonight, by the way. Is that some kind of Cosplay?", the dark mage greets us, as he enters the office. He sounds mildly amused for some reason. I'm a bit disappointed, that I didn't manage to frighten the dark mage, but it IS the dark mage we're talking about after all. "I'm a magical girl, ready to kick some ass.", I explain, while playing with one of my curly twin tails. I have little hearts on my hair ties, they're really cu- I mean terrifying, they're really terrifying. "About that, please refrain from wearing such revealing clothes when visiting me. It seems like your visits caused some disturbing rumors among my human security personal. Rumors, which are baseless, of course.", the prince adds the last part in an especially cold voice and directly stares at the smiling dark mage. "Of course.", dark mage assents smirking.  
"Also, you can accompany Mr. Galliano on his mission tonight. It would be good for you, to acquire a bit of fighting experience. And I'm sure, Mr. Galliano doesn't mind some assistance?", the dolphin prince turns towards the dark mage again. "It would be my pleasure to get your company. Killing sprees are always more fun, if someone else also comes along.", the dark mage replies. "Killing sprees? Well, I'm in the mood for some happy killing. I wanted to test my new abilities anyways; the ones I received, when I became a magical girl. But on what kind of killing spree are you taking me?", I ask the dark mage. "We're going to eradicate a Sabbat camp. A breeding station to be more precise. Most of them won't even know, that they became kindred, so you don't have to worry."  
Baby kindred are still kindred though? Not to mention that I'm not exactly ancient myself. But I really, really, really do want to bash a few heads.  
"Then what are the waiting for? Off we go!", I exclaim, while clapping my hands. "Not so fast. Here's the address and some other information, in case you need it." Dolphin prince hands an envelope to the dark mage. "As always, you will receive your payment after the mission has successfully been completed. May you do well. Good evening." And with this, the dark mage dismisses us. I bet he only said 'Not so fast', so that he could dismiss us. The prince loves giving orders after all.

I follow the dark mage to his car and sit down on the co-driver seat. "This one had no breakfast. Per chance we could halt our journey for a moment somewhere?", I shyly request from the dark mage. How unprepared of me, not to feed before visiting his fishy majesty! It was totally not my intention to share a meal with the dolphin prince. "You can have some of this, if you want.", the dark mage replies, as he offers me a flask. "Uhm, I prefer my blood more… neck-ish.", I politely decline.  
The dark mage wordlessly stuffs the flask away again. "Suit yourself.", dark mage says, as he halts next to a seller of love. Ugh, I'm growing tired of their taste, but beggars don't vote… I quickly pay her, follow her, eat her and return to the dark mage.  
While we continue our journey, I send a letter to the number nine via portable dimension device, to inform him of my latest quest:

 _The season to hunt followers of doom is opened. I know, I know, the string of politics and the string of religion are interlaced in the night, but I'll stomp them anyway. No mercy for the newborn lovers of apocalypse! Wanna join us? If not, wish me luck \\(*0*)/_

 _XOXO Mahou Shoujo Adeline_

A few minutes later, my dimension device vibrates. The number wrote me a letter back:

 _Don't go, kiddo. It's a number too big for someone like you, who has barely any fighting experience. Anyways, where is this Sabbat nest?_

I was about to tip my answer, but the dark mage interrupts me, "We're here." I look outside. Our carriage is standing next to a row of blue warehouses.  
"They're inside warehouse number 6.", the dark mage mentions, as he stuffs two guns in a holster under his armpit. He's wearing a black leather coat above, and a dark-red satin shirt underneath. His trousers and shoes are also held in black. His outfit suits his nickname 'the dark mage'.  
While the dark mage ties his brown curls back, I take my staff out of its holster and swing it a bit, to get a feeling for its handling. "Do you want to borrow this?", the mage asks me, as he takes another gun out of his trunk. I didn't take my bag with me, since I only wanted to show off my new outfit, so I don't have anything with me, apart from three Grants, hidden in my garter. "No need.", I politely decline. Using a gun, only widens my reach for a few meters at most, since I'm still not good at aiming. Maybe I should search for some more ropes on guns? "If you say so. But I won't be able to babysit you, you'll have to manage on your own.", dark mage advises me. Just smile and nod. Not like he took that much care of me anyways. The dark mage straps two dark bottles on his legs, which are specifically made to be worn in this weird fashion, and then closes his trunk. I wonder, what these bottles are for?  
"Alright, let's go." I follow the dark mage, as we carefully approach the big entrance for Hall 6, the one used for loading and unloading. A thick locket on an equally thick metal chain is hindering the sliding door from opening. The dark mage slightly waves his hand, and a trickle of blood flows out of one of his bottles, uninhibited from the black cloth on top of the opening. I watch in awe, as the trickle follows the hand movements of the dark mage and etches through the metal chain. I never knew, that blood could be so acrid. The metal chain clunks on the floor and dark mage swiftly opens the door wide enough for us to enter.

The scene greeting me inside is a strange one: severed, bloody body parts are scattered on the floor, in addition to the remnants of large boxes and a few intact ones. Apart from that, all kinds of thugs are standing around, some covered in blood, a few still clean, and all are staring at us. There's even a small heap of ash next to one of the thugs, looks like there has been some discord among the babies. Only one lonely Betty, who's sitting in a corner and silently crying, doesn't seem to fit in with the others.  
The sliding door rattles, as dark mage closes it behind me. "Time to clean up.", he reminds me cordially, as he draws one of his guns and swiftly eliminates the first thug with three bullets straight between his eyes. The prior confusion is immediately swapped with a fighting atmosphere.  
"You came to the wrong place, bit-" "LOVE EXPLOSION!", I chant and smash the approaching thugs head with Hearto. Little hearts sputter out of his head, leaving a hole in his head. Thug 1 stumbles, while I retract my magic staff and I add another few heart explosions, until only ash is left. Suddenly I'm surrounded by five of them. "Starlight beam!", I chant, thereby conjuring light in the colors of the rainbow, which spreads from my magic staff and dazzles my enemies. "Friendship bondage – double attack!", I intone, as I aim Hearto towards two of the thugs. Sparkling ribbons shoot out of my staff and wrap themselves around their bodies, as the starlight beam fades. While the bonded thugs blindly attack their neighbor thugs, I swing Hearto against the remaining one, before he recovers his eye sight.  
While I bash thug heads with love explosions, I spot weird blood tentacles in the corner of my eye, who are whipping and entangling thugs out of blood puddles on the ground. Some thug even gets swallowed by a blood puddle. Eaten by your food, how ironic.  
"DIE, SLU-" "Hold that thought.", I interrupt the lover of doom, who was about to pierce my heart with one of the wooden pieces lying on the ground from the boxes. The movements of my attacker freeze, as I point my magic staff towards him. Some of the thugs try to escape from a door in the back, but all entrances, except for the one we came through, are still locked. Looking at the frightened kindred, who desperately try to escape, doesn't it seem as if we were the bad guys?  
 _Oh sweet spring child. We're vampires, of course we're the bad guys, Sol.  
_ True. So, in the end, everyone here is a bad guy, we're all the same, just like the many reflections of the mirrorworld.  
"I'm just your reflection, why are you attacking me?", I ask the frozen thug. My words melt his heart, and he stabs himself instead. Well, that's one way to deal with the cruel reality. _It's coming!_ I instinctively dodge to the side, but pain starts spreading through my shoulder nonetheless. A big piece of wood is sticking out of it.  
Close one. I turn around and thoroughly smash the head of my attacker, before ripping the makeshift-stake out. That's how I deal with cruel reality.  
"Friendship bondage!", I bewitch another Sabbat-sprout to cover my back. Better focus on smashing and bashing.  
As I finish returning another one to ash, I suddenly notice the weird silence, only disrupted by the weeping of the misplaced Betty. The gunfire has ceased and the blood puddles also stopped moving. I swiftly finish my damaged comrade-thug off, with a good old love explosion and leisurely walk towards dark mage, who's standing in front of weeping Betty, apparently waiting for me.  
"Good job, neonate. Quickly finish her off, afterwards I can invite you to a snack, if you want? You must be thirsty." I'm indeed as thirsty as a dromedary. "Her presence seems to be a mistake. Is there a need for us to clear the Sabbat's mistake?", I inquire, while looking at the teary-eyed woman. "There's a bond between Sire and Childe. The risk is too high."  
 _Why is the dark one leaving this task to us? Be careful of the dark bond.  
_ I gaze in dark mage eyes. There's no room for negotiation in his eyes, I should hasten my steps, before Bee wakes up. "Ple, Please, oh god, please don't kill me!" With a swift swing of my magic, I silence the weeping. Turns out, that being at the wrong place at the wrong time, can not only be deadly, but even double-deadly. Somehow, I feel cold, there must be snow fairies lingering around. "Now, treat me, please?", I plead the dark mage with upturned eyes. The hot juice will warm me up. "Of course. I promised you, didn't I?", dark mage replies charmingly.  
As I follow the dark mage back to the car, a question pops up in my mind. "Who will clean our cleaning?", I ask the dark mage. "The dirty work is usually left to ghouls. The cleaning squad will take care of it, after sunrise.", the dark mage explains to me. "Why wait for the eternal enemy to rise? Oh wait, is it to evade the immortal enemy?" The dark mage smiles at me and nods lightly. "Yes, the Sabbat should already be on its way. They usually send the cannon fodder in advance, only giving them the warehouse staff to feed on. The next step is dispatching someone to release the cannon fodder into the night, and then you have a bunch of hungry kindred flooding your city, who must be hunted down, before they attract too much attention. Those kindred only serve as a distraction though; the real attack will probably be launched against Valois corporation. However, since we got the information in advance, they won't succeed with it. ", dark mage confidently states.  
"Any preferences regarding your prey?", dark mage inquires, while maneuvering our little boat through the city of Angels. "Something satiable.", I reply. My voice sounds rough and my throat is burning like purgatory. Ah, how pleasant it would be, if I could bath in delicious, warm, red blood right here and right now. Like my nightdreams, my vision reddens.

"You regained your consciousness?", dark mage nonchalantly asks me. He's still steering the wheel. Something feels stiff. I look down. Ties made of blood are added to my seatbelt. "The only red I see, is the one around my body.", I remark, hoping that dark mage would free me. Dark mage simply snaps, and the ties return to the bottles on the back. "They're like pet snakes!", I mutter amazed. I also want a blood pet. Now I'm envious. Hm, a blood tapir as a pet… My vision starts reddening again, as I imagine walking my blood tapir, but I manage to force the red back, until only a thin red edge is left on my field of vision.  
The dark mage steers our boat under an apartment complex, towards a spot called '21B'. I step out of the car and follow the dark mage towards an elevator. "This is where mages sleep?", I inquire. "A haven of mine, yes. But I mostly sleep in the chantry, since I spend most of my time there anyways.", he answers, as we reach a door with the same name as his parking spot.  
As I enter dark mage's apartment, shock leaves me speechless. Modern! Cream-colored! Furniture. With a touch of orient. Where is my dark torture chamber? There are no chandeliers, no grey prison walls, no grotesque, mutilated corpses hanging from the ceiling. The floor is just blank, polished, light-colored wood, without any pentagrams, neither chalk nor blood ones. The whole atmosphere of the apartment is just way too friendly!  
 _Bright flowers attract the most bees.  
_ No, this is simply wrong. I refuse to accept, that this is truly dark mage's haven! I take a deep breath to calm down, but the world sinks into red yet again instead.

My head is yanked back and the red slowly recedes, revealing dark mage's probing eyes and his charming smile. "You feel better now?" I confusedly observe my surroundings. I'm sitting on the wooden floor, with an attractive woman with dark hair lying in my arms. She's barely breathing, standing close to the edge of the other side. "The one lying in my arms?", I ask the dark mage. "My ghoul. No worries, she'll survive, I made sure of that.", he replies. "Young ones sure are thirsty.", he adds, as he releases my hair and walks towards a minibar to pour himself a glass of delicious red. Ugh, it should be too cool to be drinkable! He gently swirls his drink a bit, before taking a sip. "Want some?", he asks me. I wonder, if it tastes like ice cream? The dark mage seems unperturbed by its taste, so it shouldn't taste too bad.  
"Just the sip?", I plead, as I gently lie the woman in my arms down. He wordlessly hands me his glass and I carefully take a sip.  
To my surprise, the delicious red is warm. Oh right, blood magic. Seems handy. "This abode doesn't seem to suit the dark one. It's light and bright, like the eternal nemesis.", I remark, after handing the glass back to the dark mage. "What did you expect, a room full of black and blood-red, with dark-age-furniture?", he asks me amused. "Of course not. I would never expect torture-chamber-themed furniture with corpses hanging from the ceiling, blood pentagrams and all that stuff from the dark mage.", I hastily lie. "I wonder what I did, that made you see me in such a way.", dark mage comments with a raised eyebrow. "Well, we Tremere have always been mistrusted, just because of our Thaumaturgy, so I'm not surprised.", he adds in a more serious tone. The dark mage silently ponders over something, as he sits back in his armchair and takes another sip. Somehow, the atmosphere seems awkward? "Awk. Ward.", a toad sitting in the corner of the room croaks.  
Yes, that means, that my guess hit bullseye. I sit down on the floor, cross-legged and in front of the dark mage, and try to comfort him, "Dark mage showed me many ropes and helped me in becoming a proper girl scout. The trust is not blind, but it does exist." Dark mage gifts me with another bewitching smile. "Nice to see, that my effort is not wasted. It was a pleasure to work with you by the way, maybe I'll take you next time as well." I nod. Releasing some stress with him is fun.  
I feel somewhat closer to the mage after this mission. "Well, I still have some business to take care of. I can drop you off at the Empire Hotel, if you want? It's relatively close to your current haven, isn't it?", dark mage offers me. I graciously accept his offer. Come to think of it, the dark mage knows about my pet's haven?

My brand-new outfit has changed its color from innocent white to sinner red, so I use obfuscation during my way home for a change of appearance. After refreshing my magic, I head to The Last Round to show off about my triumph over the babies of apocalypse. "Look who's made it back in one piece. Nines said, you took on some Sabbat fledglings?", pirate Jack greets me. "Greetings, smiling one. Yes, I made a big pile of ash, just earlier this night. The lovers of doom weren't able to predict their own apocalypse.", I brag. Jack chuckles. "Don't let it get to your head, kiddo. You ever heard of low-cost embrace? Those shockwaves are not that far apart from being thin-blood." I tilt my head. "I heard of thin-blood. But I didn't know embraces can be cheap?" They normally cost you your life, don't they?  
"Well, you could say, that 'quantity over quality' is the motto of the Sabbat. To keep it simple, those fledglings were embraced with the minimal amount of blood, making them a bit weaker right after rebirth than normal fledglings. That way, they need less Sires to produce a shockwave and the fledglings are easier to deal with, should they survive. From the beginning, those fledglings weren't meant to survive though.", smiling Jack explains to me.  
"Like day flies – night flies!", I comment full of fascination. Kindred war strategies sure are strange. "Wait, does that mean more exchange equals more power? In that case, wouldn't it be cheating to embrace too long?", I interrogate the smiling one. "Unless you suck him dry, it shouldn't make too much of a difference, so long as you get your fill. At least not in the long run, a sip more might serve as a little boost for the first nights. But then, it's hard to tell, you know? Not like there is a guide to better siring Childer. Factors, like personality and stuff, also seem to have an influence on the strength of the fledgling, depending on your clan. But I don't know. I'm no goddamn Sire. All I know is, that just the bare minimal amount of blood needed for the embrace will turn your newborns into weak little babies." I see.  
"Guess I'm lucky then, that the medieval convention was too late for a coitus interruptus.", I muse. The smiling one erupts with laughter. "Yeah, that's also a way to say it. But ain't it suspicious, kiddo? Your Sire obviously knew, that hunters were coming for him, otherwise he wouldn't have staked you. Given the Malkavian Insight, that part is not strange. However, if he knew, then why didn't he try to flee? Why sacrifice himself and risk the death of his Childe instead?", Jack asks me.  
"The thoughts of a father can't be known to a child. But the maelstrom of chaos in his head cleared it off mud. This one doesn't know where he went, but this one is sure that he had a map.", I reply honestly and full of confidence.  
"Yeah, I think I get what you're saying. Henchman was batshit-crazy, nonetheless he was quite the careful guy. It's all the more suspicious, that the hunters found his haven and that he saw no way of escaping. In addition to that, the timing. Henchman was about to stand as a witness for something, now I wonder what it was…" Jack's words tickle my curiosity. If a villain disappears, before he can stand as a witness, then who is the one responsible for the disappearance? It can't be the mislead goody-two-shoes, even though they were the cause. A terrible thought appears in my mind: henchman served royalty. Therefore, his disappearance is most likely also connected to royalty. Ah, but this thought is ridiculous. How could the predator work together with its predator?  
"Who would dare to fight the prince, apart from the Anarchs?", I ask Jack nonetheless. "Well, it's no secret, that Valois and Harper don't get along. Apparently, Harper was also a candidate for prince and still sees herself as his rival. Fucking Camarilla politics.", Jack answers with a shrug. "The queen and the prince are in a feud?", I probe further. "Look, kiddo, I understand that you hate politics, but it's not a good idea to simply ignore what's going on. That trial with the Mexican chick and her Sire? Well, the chick was working for Harper. And the blood hunt on that Campbell-guy? He was a close aide of the prince. The two of them have been sabotaging each other, since they came here. Now, I ain't saying, that Harper sold Henchman out to the hunters. She's one of these power-crazy, stuck-up and reckless Ventrue, but I don't think she would stoop so low as to actually work with hunters. I don't have even an ounce of trust for her, but working with hunters should be impossible for any kindred. They kill every vampire on sight after all, unless they want information from him, in which case they torture them first. But be careful of her nonetheless, kiddo. Something's extremely fishy about her.", Jack replies. But being fishy is the prince's expertise!  
"I'll have to digest your words for now. Toodeloo.", I bid Jack goodbye and hurriedly leave this dangerous conversation.  
Come to think of it, he didn't even notice my new outfit.

* * *

 _Author's note: Just to clarify; 'love explosion' is a normal brunt attack, while the other "magic attacks" are part of the Dementation discipline._

 _Also, as for the 'lowcost-embrace', in the game the character was kind of overpowered for a fledgling, which is ok for a game setting but not good for a story, therefore I wanted to weaken this type of enemy, to make the MC and the game-MC less overpowered.  
_


	16. Crazy Cosplay Convention

**Chapter 15: Crazy Cosplay Convention**

* * *

Somehow, I'm missing the proper appreciation for my outfit. Dolphin prince, cab man and Jack, all of their reactions were quite lacking. But where could I get my due attention? Well, the answer would be a Cosplay Convention, wouldn't it? Lucky for me, I have seen a flyer for a Cosplay Convention in the bathroom of The Last Round on my way out. Next stop, attention whore city!

A while later, I arrive in front of the apartment door, where the Cosplay convention takes place. I ring the doorbell and a while later, a distressed man around his thirties opens the door. "Another one? Go away! I'm calling the police!", he greets me. I silently stare at him, while I ponder over his costume. Looks quite ordinary? Oh, wait. I get it. "Dwight Schrute from the office! Love your costume. Now, out of the way Dwight, I don't want to be late for the grand opening.", I say to him and shove him out of the way. Some of the Cosplayers have already arrived and are currently exploring the location.  
There's a youthful, blond male in a pink overall, crawling behind the TV and searching for something. I think he is cosplaying Kyoko from 'Skip Beat!'. On the sturdy coffee table in front of the TV is a Greek goddess with the usual black curls and tanned skin, slowly dancing in trance. In the corner of the room sits another inconspicuous man, probably in his forties, swaying back and forth while murmuring, "I told him they would come. I told him. Always hunting after me, but he didn't believe me. Said I was paranoid. Pah! It's not paranoia, if the pursuers are real!"  
"Hey, does anyone know, where the party hats are? I searched the whole bedroom, but I couldn't find them." I gaze at the door, through which another one just entered the living room. Hey, isn't that Jeanette? "Mint ice, it's you!", Jeanette squeaks, as she catches sight of me. "Greetings, Jeanette.", I reply with a curtsey.  
She smirks and purrs, "Now that you are here, I just know, that this is going to be the best birthday party ever!" Oh, I see. Jeanette is going as 'the popular school girl going on the birthday party of her equally popular friend/rival'. She's really into the schoolgirl-theme, isn't she?  
"For the last time, you can't simply barge in here! You need an appointment! I'm going to call the police now, so please leave!", the distressed Dwight complains. Everyone stares at him for a moment, before we continue minding our own business. "Anyways, I really like your outfit.", Jeanette flirts with me, as she seductively strokes the fabric over my hip. I grin at her. "What do you think of my magic staff?", I ask her, while turning my back to her, so that she can examine it.  
"Horrifyingly cute.", she whispers in astonishment. See? That is the reaction I wanted to hear. Meanwhile, Dwight ran to the telephone and tried to dial the police apartment, but Kyoko-chan nonchalantly cuts the telephone wire with a pruner. "Found it!", he exclaims. Typical Kyoko-chan, saving the day with her bold and energetic attitude. "You! You!", Dwight stammers. In that moment, the doorbell rings again. "Open it.", the dancing Greek goddess absentmindedly says, and Dwight wordlessly follows her command. Two women enter through the door, a blond with the typical 'Can I speak to your manager?'-haircut and the other… isn't that Mrs. Graufuchs? The Malkavian primogen? This convention is getting more interesting with every passing minute. "Let me through, I'm a doctor!", someone shouts behind them, before passing through them. It's some uncle, wearing khaki vest and trousers, with a white, rolled up shirt and a dark red necktie underneath it. His beard is magnificent, by the way. After the three entered and closed the door behind them, the Greek goddess stops dancing and steps down from the coffee table.  
With silent conformity, we move the furniture away from the center of the living room and sit down in a circle.  
I end up sitting between Mrs. Graufuchs and Kyoko-chan. "Yo, Mrs. Graufuchs, whazzup?", I greet her. "I'm not Mrs. Graufuchs. Who is that Mrs. Graufuchs? This is already the third time, that I get confused with that person.", she replies. Oopsy daisy. Wrong person, how embarrassing. I should've known it, her dentist-assistant-clothes don't fit the image of Mrs. Graufuchs after all. "Apologies. You do look like her."  
The Greek goddess stands up and claps her hands to get our attention, before opening the convention, "Well then, let's begin by introducing us. Just stating our names is boring, so also name one of your hobbies or something." "Wait, why am I sitting here with you lunatics? ", Dwight mumbles and stands up. Oh, I see.  
He wants to go first. "An eager participant, how nice. And who might you be?", the Greek goddess politely asks. "I, I am Mitchel. This is my apartment.", he replies stammering. "Hello, Mitchel.", we greet him obediently. Owning an apartment, what a boring hobby. But what else to expect, he's the only kine here after all, of course he is the most boring person in this room. "Very good, Mitchel. You may sit down now.", the Greek goddess gently instructs him. Her patience in dealing with someone as challenged as him is truly admirable. Just when Mitchel obediently sat down, the doctor springs up. "Let me next, I'm a doctor. My name is 'A. Doctor'. I have no hobbies, but I have a calling. My calling is being a doctor. Thank you for your attention." "Hello, a doctor.", we chant again. Mrs. Graufuchs-but-not-Graufuchs stands up next. "Hi, everyone. I'm Foxy Grey. And my hobby is shaving the heads of psychiatrists. Look, I even brought a few trophies with me." Foxy gleefully grabs a few plastic bags from her handbag, which are filled with hair in various hair colors. Mitchel shrinks back a bit. He seems tense for some reason, maybe he has a hair-phobia?  
That would explain, why his own hairline is already receding. Corner-guy next to him jumps up, and while hiding his mouth behind his fingers, nervously introduces himself, "I'm Noah Para. Don't come near me. My favorite hobby is hiding from the eyes. Those nasty, preying eyes. Eyes of damnation. Eyes of the apocalypse. They're everywhere! Everywhere!" I wonder, what his other hobbies are. It's Kyoko-chan's turn next. "I'm Mr. Starwave, from starwave washing agent. Surf the star-bright wave to clean your white vest from the deeds of the night. My hobby is visiting Love Laundry. By the way, here are some samples." Mr. Starwave distributes some starwave washing agent samples and sits down again. I also love 'Love Laundry'! Anyways, so he owns a washing agent company? That explains, how his overall is so bright. I'll try the sample on my bloodstained clothes, something tells me, that this washing agent is great against blood stains.  
"Hey guys. I am Jeanette! You may know me from my club, 'The Asylum'. My hobby is love.", Jeanette chirps, while forming a heart with her hands. Alright, my turn. "Greetings. I'm Adeline Martel. My hobbies are baking cupcakes and collecting business cards.", I smoothly introduce myself with a curtsey. The woman with the 'I want to speak with your manager'-haircut stands up after me. "I'm Mom. My hobby is being a good mother. And I'd like to use this chance, to remind A. Doctor to stay away from me and my haven with his evil, autism-causing vaccines!", she says, as she glares angrily at A. Doctor.  
It's just a wild guess, but I think the two don't get along all too well. A. Doctor just scrunches his nose and looks away.  
"Alright, I'm last. I'm Ariadne. My hobby is taking hallucinogens. Please, let me demonstrate." Ariadne grabs one of the barstools in front of the open kitchen and sets up a copper bowl beneath it, with herbs or something in it. Then she folds a paper, ignites it and places the burning paper into the bowl. As the plants start to smoke, Ariadne takes the copper bowl and sits down on the barstool, with the bowl on her lap. We narrow our seating circle around her, while holding hands with each other. Even Noah Para joins in, though he is the last one to touch his seating neighbors' hands. I shudder as Noah's hands complete the circle, due to the feeling of fear and persecution washing over me. Wait a minute… "Why is he allowed to sit with us?", I complain, pointing my and Mr. Starwave's hands towards Michael or Mitchel or whatever. "Yeah, he's boring!", Mr. Starwave consents and stretches our interlinked hands even further towards boring what's-his-name-again. Some of the others nod fervently, while Mr. Uninteresting looks dejected, but not dejected enough for me to pity him. Although maybe a bit? No. I'm a cheerleader now. Cheerleaders are on the side of the bullies, not the bullied. "Don't bully the special-needs-kid. Open-mindedness is the key for our kind.", Ariadne scolds me. I pout, but refrain from questioning her any further. Fine, I'll just consider this my good deed of the night.

After her rebuke, Ariadne closes her eyes again and concentrates on getting high, while we start swaying like grass stalks in the wind. I don't know who started it, but soon we were also humming some strange melody, to aid Ariadne's journey into the heights. While humming and swaying, my eyes never leave Ariadne. Her eye lids are fluttering like butterflies, but the rest of her body is as limp as a lich before rigor mortis. The rhythm of our music slowly speeds up, making me feel as uncomfortable as a drunk mortal on a carousel. But alas, you can't leave the carousel until the music stops!  
Our bodies create waves with their swaying and the waves cause a malicious maelstrom, making it impossible to escape.  
I suddenly notice drops of blood appearing on the limp arms of Ariadne. The maelstrom must've teared open her old heroin wounds. That, uhm, that's not good.  
The rhythm reaches dangerous heights and erupts into a staccato, which rips reality's movie into short photographs.  
Huh?  
My perspective on Ariadne seems to have changed?  
I forcefully tilt my head down, thereby changing the content of the pictures from Ariadne's silhouette to the deep neckline of a schoolgirl-uniform.  
The same schoolgirl-uniform Jeanette has been wearing.  
Have my boobs become bigger?  
What the hell is going on?  
Darkness interrupts my thoughts and the new picture shows me Ariadne from yet another perspective.  
Ugh, something reeks of mediocrity.  
Also, what's this weird beating feeling in my chest?  
And why do I feel so weirdly warm all of a sudden?  
Wait- WHAT THE FUCK?!  
Of all the bodies to slip into, I slipped into Mitchel?!  
Just kill me, please.  
Fortunately, I'm pulled out of this breathing body by the darkness again.  
Unfortunately, the body-hopping continues.  
I'm starting to get reaaally motion-sick from this.  
Oh, there!  
There's my body, right in front of me.  
I must get back into myself somehow, or my soul or whatever is going to puke all over whosever's body.  
I might be a cheerleader, but I'm not so mean as to puke into other people's bodies.  
Also, that's disgusting, probably.  
I feel myself being dragged out of my current body again, but this time I try to take control and spiritually throw myself towards my body.  
The next picture of Ariadne shows up, this time from my original perspective.  
Yei, success.  
The staccato of pictures continues, but the force seems to slowly die down.  
Good, because that makes it easier to stay in myself.  
Just as I've been thinking this, I can feel the maelstrom grabbing me again and I violently cling to my body, desperately resisting the current.  
Finally, the current dies down and the pictures are joined back into a movie. Thank Caine, it's over! The others also seemed to be relieved, apart from Ariadne, who is still in a daze, and A. Doctor and Mother, who seem to be panicking. "What have you done?! Why am I still in your shitty body?", A. Doctor shouts at Mother.  
"How is that my fault? You're always blaming me for everything, even though you were obviously the one who messed this up!"  
The two continue to bicker, but I don't pay them any attention, as I stagger to my feet to check on Ariadne. After poking her, she immediately opens her eyes:  
"It is near! The beginning of the end has started. The spider-! The spider has LEFT THE WEB!", she blabbers with terror in her eyes, while violently grabbing my arms. Geez, calm down. This trip you took us on was already terrifying enough. "If the spider has left the web, how can there still be a web?", I counter confused.  
"Oh, he has still use for it. But the days of the web are numbered, for he plans to consume it all.", Ariadne ominously replies. "And this, kids, is why you say no to drugs. They ruin your life, even after death! How irresponsible of you to bring the sky down upon us, just because you wanted to touch it!", I angrily reprimand her.  
"N no! It's not my fault! I, I didn't mean to… In the first place, wasn't it Mitchel's idea to meet up here? It's his fault, not mine!", Ariadne panicky retorts.  
I narrow my eyes dangerously, before replying, "Trying to use a lamb as your scapegoat? You're clearly the guide on this trip to the end, therefore take some responsibility.", I demand scornfully. "Well, but the end is inevitable, unless you're a circle. You can't blame me, for what can't be avoided.", Ariadne tries to defend herself. "Can't be avoided? Did you never go to university? What can't be avoided, can still be postponed! This is what Prof. Procrastination taught me", I lecture her annoyed. "I also wanted to procrastinate! But I was tricked into studying for the final. I didn't mean to do it, I swear! I mean, look at me, I clearly don't belong to the nerds." Well, I guess dealing drugs and being a nerd don't really fit together, so she has a point. "… Alright. I believe you. For now.", I reluctantly reply.  
"Yes! Don't worry, you made the right choice. Now then, how about we procrastinate our problems, until they knock on our door?", Ariadne proposes. I hesitate and glance at the others. Mother and A. Doctor stopped their argument and are currently attentively watching me like the rest, with eyes full of expectation, worry, unease and rumination. Apart from Mitchel, of course, who's still wearing this dumb look of confusion. Geez, is this the only expression he's capable of miming?  
"The imminent end shouldn't be too imminent for now, right? In that case, I still want to enjoy this convention." The afterlife is supposed to be about fun, instead of fearing another death. Why would you fear death anyways, if you have experienced it already?  
"Perfect! Let's chat and mingle until our tongues tingle then!", Greek goddess exclaims.

Noah returns to his corner, and Greek goddess heads to the kitchen counter, where she resumes dancing. Mitchel just kind of stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, clueless as to what he should do. Jeanette starts flirting with A. Doctor, who's currently Mother, while Mother found a sack of rice somewhere and is holding it like a baby, while trading cleaning tips with Mr. Starwave. That leaves only Foxy to chat with.  
"So, when did you discover your interest in shaving heads?", I ask her. I was never good with small talk. "The heads of psychiatrists, you mean. Pardon my correction, dear, but that is an important point for me. As for when, well, I'm afraid it has always been a hobby of mine.", Foxy replies courteously. "Maybe you should try it out for yourself sometimes. Believe me, it's quite a fulfilling activity." I don't get what's so fulfilling about that?  
"Do you have preferences, like long hair, curly hair, red hair?" That's probably a question you would ask, if you were interested in that stuff, right?  
"I don't discriminate against hair, even half bald is fine by me. It is, of course, more difficult to collect short hair though. If I must name my favorite type of psychiatrist, mhm… I would probably go with half bald, but brushed over the bald part. Just like a ripe fruit, their expression is so sweet, when they discover, that the last strands of hair that they had, are also gone. On the other hand, more hair means more trophy." I imagine the expression of utter despair of a cleanly shaved psychiatrist. Maybe she is right, maybe I should try it out sometime. "But what do you do with all that hair? Only putting it in a trophy room seems like a waste."  
Foxy brightens up, upon hearing my question. "That is a good question! You see, I'm mostly making wigs out of the hair, but I also use it for other handicrafts. I'd like to show you my voodoo doll collection, but I'm afraid I forgot to bring it with me. I got pretty good at knitting voodoo dolls, it's a pity I can't show you."  
A voodoo doll collection? Sounds creepy. Dammit, why didn't she bring it with her?  
"How do you manage to find enough psychiatrist to reap hair from?", I continue asking her. "Oh, another good question. Well, I've been doing this for some time already and am quite skilled at finding psychiatrists. I've learned how to spot them just at a glance. For example, there was this one psychiatrist, who was posing as an estate agent. Little did he know, that he already had exposed himself earlier, before I approached him, when he was calling his girlfriend a 'crazy whore'. By the way he said that, I immediately knew about his true profession. They're tricky beings, those psychiatrists, but they're not crafty enough to hide from me. Anyways, enough about me. I'd like to know more about that Graufuchs-person, that has been impersonating me. You do seem to know her, what can you tell me about her?" That's a tricky question. Should I tell her about Mrs. Graufuchs being the proprietor of an asylum? Foxy certainly wouldn't attack our primogen, just for the sake of her hobby, right? Who knows, maybe she can even persuade her, to give up on her hair willingly.  
"You haven't met her? She's the mistress of the insanity hotel and our primogen." Foxy dangerously narrows her eyes. "Is that so? On top of being my impersonator, she's also the leader of a mental institute. Maybe I should visit such an outstanding character." Does her voice sound threatening, or is it just my imagination?  
Oh well, it's not like Mrs. Graufuchs knows no self-defense. Additionally, she's a jealous old hag, who won't let me play with her collection of crazy kine, therefore I don't care about her well-being.  
"Hey there mint-ice, let's continue our conversation from earlier.", a seductive voice chirps in my ear. I turn around to Jeanette, who's grinning like a cat.  
What, she had enough of the superior, high-class doctor? What the? I am not jealous, or anything! Shut up. "The daughter of Janus grew bored of playing doctor?", I ask her. "Oh, what made you sour like a lemon, Darling? But don't worry, I know how to turn you into sweet lemonade." Whatever might she be talking about? Anyways, what happened to A. Doctor? Oh, I see. He's passionately making out with Mother. What an unexpected turn of events. Although, maybe becoming one could solve their little body-problem. "A love-hate-relationship. How tragic.", Jeanette comments theatrically. "How inappropriate. Kindred shouldn't interact in that way. Furthermore, I wouldn't trust a doctor. They're relatives of those ghastly psychiatrists after all.", Foxy adds snobbishly.  
I wonder what made Foxy despise psychiatrists so much. "Why is intimacy inappropriate? Aren't we sinners anyways, who live off the blood of the living?", I ask Foxy curiously. "Amen to that.", Jeanette snickers. Foxy glances at her disapprovingly, before turning to me, "Kindred should always remember, that they're not kine. Mixing with humans is fine, but they shouldn't pretend to be still alive, unless for Masquerade reasons of course. That kind of foolish thing, only kindred, who pretend to be still human, would do it, no?" But it's not like intimacy is something human? Other existences also do it, after all. This doesn't make any sense.  
"I didn't forsake my sanity, to bind myself with social norms instead. I didn't get to act like a slut in my last life at all, and now I'm expected to act like a nun? Nuh-uh, not with me.", I protest. Foxy frowns and Jeanette giggles. "And that is, why you're my sugar-sweet mint-ice. What an inspiring and refreshing speech!", Jeanette praises me. "Oh, don't stop! I might blush.", I reply coyly, while playfully touching my cheeks. "How disappointing.", Foxy remarks with obvious disgust in her voice. Geez, the atmosphere turned really awkward. I can even see the awkward-toad sitting in the corner, quietly croaking.  
"Can you believe, they have no starwave washing agent here?!", Mr. Starwave suddenly pops up and interrupts our awkward conversation. "How rude! Even though Mitchell knew, that you were coming.", I join his complaint.  
' _I don't think Mitchell knew about any of this before this very evening._ ', one of my voices sarcastically remarks.  
"Don't take it to heart, Mr. Starwave. Mr. Mitchell seems to be mentally handicapped.", Foxy consoles him politely. "Yeah, Foxy is right. Don't mind that retard. You still have some samples, haven't you? We could take a bubble bath right now, how about it?", Jeanette suggests cheerfully. Mr. Starwave strokes his chin and ponders shortly about Jeanette's proposal, before accepting with a nod. "I'm feeling bubbly.", I remark, suddenly feeling shy. "Oh, you'll have to join us, lemon-cake. You can play the mermaid, and I'll be the fisherman, who tries to catch you."

Foxy doesn't like bathing, since her precious hair will get wet, so it's only the three of us, who head to the bath. As expected, Mr. Starwave is a true master, when it comes to making a bubble bath. The bath tub is filled with more bubbles than water, with the foam being twice as high as the bathtub. There is so much shiny foam, it's quite a magical sight. "We first!", I shout and strip my shoes of, before jumping into the cloudy bubble-paradise. I gleefully wiggle around, completely surrounding myself in the white happiness. Best. Night. Ever! "Found you!", I suddenly hear Jeanette chirp, as two hands grab my hip and start to tickle me, causing me to wiggle and giggle uncontrollably. After a short tickle war with Jeanette, we both sit up and shove the foam out of our faces. We must appear like two floating heads. I look around and spot the floating head of Mr. Starwave behind me, he must've entered sometime during our tickle-fight. Despite being coated in bubbles, he looks awfully serious. "The quantity and size of the bubbles is good; however their persistence is still lacking. There's still room for improvement.", Mr. Starwave analyzes his work. "Eh. Good enough for me.", I console him with a shrug. I spent the rest of the night playing with the two of them in that bathtub. We were staging a competition on who could do the best foamy hairdo among other things. Mr. Starwave won, as expected of a professional.

* * *

 _Author's note: It wasn't mentioned in the game, but according to the whitewolf-wikki Malkavians sometimes congregrate for no apparent reason. Once I read this, I knew I had to include such an event._


	17. Queen vs Crown Prince

**Chapter 16: Queen vs. Crown Prince**

* * *

The conversation with smiling Jack last night still occupies my mind. I'm nearly a month old now, but I've only done silly side quests up until now. I guess, I kind of have been hoping, that the main quest would solve itself. How foolish of me. Well, it's because I'm still not used to being the protagonist. I used to be a pointless prop my whole alive life after all. In other words, it's time to wake up and stop dreaming about a self-achieving happy end, I must satisfy myself by myself. Having come to this realization, I'm thirsting for action.  
 _It's still not time for that, Sol.  
_ Oh, shut up. I'm sick and tired of hearing that.  
I equip my magical outfit and head out. There's just one problem with my plan: I'm not the type to have a plan. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Where's the starting point of my quest? No, wait, my quest has already started long ago. But there seems to be a bug, that must be the reason as to why the next step of my quest didn't get triggered. That's why I have no idea what to do now. Hopefully, returning to the starting point will fix that bug.

I arrive in front of that old apartment door. The lock is still broken, so I have no difficulty with entering. I expected to find a chaotic mess, but the inside is surprisingly empty. Looks like some treasure hunters came to reap all the treasures my father left behind. With all the valuables gone, the remaining mess is not impressive at all, how disappointing. I'm certain that father would be embarrassed, if he knew how boring his haven looks now. But, oh well. Admiring father's taste wasn't the point anyways. I sit down in the middle of the room and assume a meditating position. And then I wait.  
Time goes by, but nothing happens. Dammit! How do I trigger this fucking quest?! Impatience creeps into me and my body tenses up in frustration. What to do. What to do. What to do. While growling out of dissatisfaction, I stand up and restlessly comb through the room. This clearly isn't going to work. I'll have to think of something else. With a defeated sigh, I walk towards the entrance. I open the door, only to find myself standing in front of some skinny white-but-wannabe-black with a greasy smile on his lips. "Yo, I got the van. So, wha did ya find?" "Are you talking to me?", I ask him puzzled. "Eh, nuthin much. But damn, that dude must've been a junkie or sumthin, there's so much weird stuff lying around here.", some voice behind me replies. Suddenly my chest feels weird, so I look down. Two hands holding a mini TV are piercing through it. What the… White wannabe takes the TV, the voice behind me continues blabbing, "I even found a bloody needle in the bath tub, but I couldn't find his stash." My whole buddy shudders and another white trash busts out of me, holding a small fridge. "Man, I hope that freak left some of his good stuff behind.  
I know a guy, who would buy whatever." The two continue their conversation and I silently watch, as they leisurely clear out that crappy apartment.  
To be honest, I have no fucking clue, as to what I'm supposed to do, so I just continue standing there, awkwardly.  
After a while, the two of them stop coming back for more stuff. I guess, they finished stealing everything. Silence fills the halls. Is… Is that the end of my vision? That wasn't helpful at all! Who cares about some stupid kine?! I click my tongue and grab my cellphone to call cab man.  
As I leave the apartment complex, his cab is already there, waiting for me. As expected of cab man. "Where to?", he asks me like usual, while I fasten my seatbelt.  
"I don't know.", I reply honestly. "How come?", he asks me. Though he's asking me a question, his voice isn't showing any curiosity at all. "It is upon the wings of fate to decide, where to carry me to.", I explain to him resignedly. "No one can escape one's fate, but we're still the ones walking down our own paths. The blood of Caine merely paves the way for us.", Cab man replies with a slight smile. Is he making fun of me, for trying to make him walk my steps for me? I'm already the one, who will suffer my own fate, yet he forces me to make the ridiculous decisions leading towards it myself. How cruel of him. "Bring me to the empire without an emperor.", I grumpily reply. "Very well."

The lobby of the empire is empty, even the gatekeeper is currently on a smoking break. A sweet voice can be heard from the dance room, singing 'Habanera' from Carmen (Bizet), luring me towards her. Infatuated, yet wary, I follow the bewitching melody. I carefully step into the dimly lit dance hall.  
Miss Margret Harper is standing on the stage, dressed in a lavish, dark red ball gown, looking like the queen she is. She stops in the middle of her aria and turns to me. "Miss Adeline. How nice of you to come here.", she says with a sickening-sweet voice. "Your Majesty.", I reply coldly. "Oh my, whatever could have happened to make you so grumpy? Don't tell me, it's because you couldn't find any clues for the disappearance of your Sire?", the queen mocks me. Her annoying laughter rings in my ears, as my body tenses up due to anger. "How dare you!", I say through gritted teeth, causing her to laugh even louder. "You couldn't have possibly expected to be able to drag the royal me to court, could you?" She clicks her tongue and glances at me, full of false pity. "Young ones are so naïve. A nobody like you could never compete with me." I smile icily. "True. Someone as young and unimportant as me could never compete with a queen. Another royal, for example a crown prince, however…" Queen's face freezes. "It couldn't b-" In that moment the heavy doors of the dance hall swing open once more and Dolphy leisurely walks in, in his usual, arrogant manner. "YOU!", queen hisses. Yes! I knew it, dolphin prince was still secretly watching me. Stalker.  
"Good evening, Miss Harper. It's such a pleasant night, isn't it? I can understand, as to why you chose this night to finally confess your crimes.", the prince greets the queen smiling. "Confessing my crimes? Whatever could you be talking about, dear Henry? I don't remember confessing anything.", the queen retorts. "Still trying to deny it? You should hurry up and surrender, that way you will at least be able to keep what's left of your dignity.", dolphin prince reprimands her mockingly. "I still don't know what it is, you're accusing me of, but whatever it is, I demand a fair trial!", Miss Harper replies sharply.  
"And a trial is, what you will receive. I hereby open the court. Miss Harper, for the crime of causing Henchman's disappearance with your wicked schemes, I hereby sentence you… to death. Let the penalty commence." "HOW DARE Y-!", the spanish queen screeches, before Valois's trusted shadow suddenly jumps out of the darkness behind her and swiftly beheads her. Before she was even able to finish her sentence, the Spanish queen crumbles into ash.  
"Your Highness!", I whisper full of admiration. "You were so dashingly awesome just now!", I fawn over him. He turns to me. "As for you, Miss Adeline, I will promote you to a lady-in-waiting as a reward for your hard work." "Huh?" _Click._ I can suddenly feel cold metal around my neck and turn around, to find Valois' shadow standing behind me, expressionless, as he hands dolphin prince the leash to the collar he put around my neck. "Wait.", I try to protest, but the prince interrupts me, by pulling on the leash. "Sit.", he coldly commands me. My body moves on his own and follows his command. What the heck… This is something a pet would do, not a lady-in-waiting! "Good. You finally learned how to be obedient.", dolphin prince says, as he forces my mouth open and stuffs something red and squishy inside. I try to resist and push that thing out with my tongue, but he simply holds my tongue down with his thumb, while another finger to shove it down my throat. That slippery thing slides down my throat and I gag, but it's too late. I've eaten it. It tastes like a dog treat: technically it's perfectly eatable food, but it's disgusting nonetheless.  
"Let's go.", Valois says to his shadow and heads to the door. My body follows him on all fours.  
This is wrong. This is not how a lady-in-waiting should behave. This is not how a prince should behave. This is not how a shad- eh, I guess, he's doing his job the way he is supposed to. Anyways, come to think of it, this place is still strangely empty. And I don't remember seeing any people, apart from cab man, on my way here as well. And apart from the limousine standing in front of the empire hotel, the streets are also empty. Isn't this a bit too empty for such a bustling city?  
The shadow opens the door of the limousine for Valois and despite trying my hardest to resist, my traitorous body is following him yet again.

During our ride, I'm sitting on the floor of the car, like a lowly dog. I can't take this anymore. I must escape this somehow! I carefully skim the interior of the car. So long as my actions are within the normal behavior of an obedient dog, I seem to have the freedom to move my body on my own accord. To my surprise, I spot a small note next to Valois' foot. I curiously crouch closer, to read what's written on it. 'Don't let him pet you.'  
The night may come, when I'll take orders from a note, but tonight is not the night! "Uhm… pet me, please?", I ask Dolphy with upturned eyes. He glances at me, mildly annoyed, but starts stroking my chin absentmindedly nonetheless. His hands slowly start to wander from my chin, to the back of my head. This feels surprisingly nice, like a massage of some sorts. I place my head on his knee, swallow what's left of my dignity and simply enjoy the sensation. For a moment, I even forget how embarrassing this whole ordeal is. Suddenly, his hand grabs my collar and he pulls me onto his lap, with my stomach lying on his legs, while my face is facing the door. I'm a bit too big a pet for this position, no? As dolphin prince continues petting my back, I spot another note, pinned on the car door. 'The hell, I told you NOT to let him pet you.', the note says. Well, fuck you too, note. The car stops and Valois' shadow opens the door for us. After exiting the car, I find another note on the sidewalk. 'Now listen here, you lil' shit, if you don't want to stay here, you bet-', before I can read the end of the note, Valois is impatiently pulling on my collar again. Impudence! I don't need help from some stupid note. Only an idiot would trust such a suspicious note anyways.  
We step inside the Valois tower and directly head towards the elevator. Inside is yet another note, just below the elevator buttons. The dolphin prince himself still doesn't seem to notice the notes. I lean towards the note. 'As I said, IF you want to escape, you'll need my help, so listen to me. If you keep being this obedient, you'll be stuck here forever. If you get the opportunity, bite his hand and run!' What would a power-hungry control-freak like Valois do, if his cute little pet were to openly show signs of disobedience, I wonder? The answer is obvious: put it in a cage, until it behaves. I might be young, but I wasn't born yesterday. There's no way I'd fall for that trick. If I face Dolphy head-on, I can only loose. So long as he thinks of me as some stupidly-obedient pet however, a chance for escape should come by eventually.

We arrive in Dolphy's office. The office looks like usual, with one exception: a huge black pillow with silver embroidery is lying on the ground, next to the prince's desk. Is… Is that my pet bed? Well, it looks comfy, I guess. Dolphin prince being the dolphin prince, immediately starts working on his beloved dimension device. From time to time, he would reach out his hand to pet me, which I reluctantly allow. It was hard to endure, but I somehow managed not to bite him. I don't think I would have managed to succeed, if he weren't so damn good at petting. After what felt like an eternity, dolphin prince finally retires into his private quarters, leaving me alone in the office. His shadow has also disappeared at some unknown point of time. Even though notes had kept appearing, demanding this or that from me, I had remained passive, but now it's time to shine. I carefully collect my chain, while taking care to make the least amount of noise possible, and unfasten its end from Valois' desk. With my leash in my arms, I sneak towards the elevator while obfuscating.

A while later, I safely arrive on the streets of an abandoned city of angels. So far, so good. But what now? First, I should get rid of these annoying chains. And I know just the right place to break them. 'The Last Round' looks quite desolate, without those hobos lingering around it. A bad premonition fills my heart. What if 'The Last Round' is empty, just like the rest of the city? Then who will help me with destroying this chain? Indeed, I don't see the shape of a single humanoid being, after entering the bar. However, there is still that room above, the one that looks too shabby to be called VIP room.  
Upstairs I find Nines and Jack, hanging out at a table close to the windows. Gosh, I'm glad to see those two. Wait, is using a number to address another number considered rude? Damn, I need to read up on calculus courtesy. "Oh man, what's up with that get-up? Are you cosplaying princess Leia or something? Wahahahaha!", Jack immediately mockingly greets me with roaring laughter. As expected of the laughing one, Jack is truly able to find the humor in everything. Some voice once told me, that he even makes jokes about jesters. Nines on the other hand, is simply looking at me questioningly, while staying silent. I approach them and throw the pile of chains in my arms into Jack's face, to shut him up. "Can the breakers of chains break this chain?", I ask him, still a bit sulky about being made fun of. "What, you don't like your collar anymore? Don't tell me, it went out of style?", Jack continues teasing me mirthfully. "The queen is dead. The crown prince should follow his queen. Monarchy has indeed gone out of style.", I reply seriously, while keeping eye contact with Jack. He just smiles at me, and nods lightly. Then he suddenly jumps forward and grabs my neck with one hand, while ripping the chain off the collar with the other. Everything happened so fast, I was quite shocked for a moment. Having done so, his hand grabbing my collar contracts, thereby crunching the collar as well. Why even bother to rip off the chain first? Jack leans back again and pretend-sips on his beer. Why bother pretend-sipping on your beer? We're the only people here! Admit it! You only want to look cool.  
"Have you figured it out yet, kiddo?", a charismatic voice asks me. I turn to Nines, who's staring at me calmly. "Figured out what?", I counter-ask. Uncertainty is leaking from my voice. "That this", Nines gestures a curve, "is all just your bullshit. Your vision ended long ago, why're you still here?" Oh, that would explain, why I only meet people, who I know. Wait, if this is my own imagination… Oh my Caine! I'm way kinkier than I thought. That's progress, isn't it?  
"So, how do I break out of the prison with the name 'my own imagination'?", I ask Nines. "Sorry, kid. You'll have to find the way back yourself.", he replies nonchalantly. Oh, great. Well, my chains have already been broken, breaking this vision as well shouldn't be too difficult.

I leave The Last Round through the window (as usual) and slowly walk back to the street, while pondering about how to break the vision. As I aimlessly wander down the street, I suddenly hear the noise of a city ship. I freeze in confusion for a moment, before hastily jumping on the sidewalk and obfuscating. I obfuscated just in time, before the dark, majestic ship of the Dolphin prince appeared on this street. Dammit, he has already noticed my escape? Thankfully, the car passes by me, which means my hiding was successful. My chains might be broken, but the prince could find another chain for me. He's good at finding chains to shackle people with. Princely pervert. The noise behind me dies down and I stop obfuscating and continue walking down the street aimlessly. I'm more alerted this time though, in case the princely pervert returns.  
As I pass a coffee shop, I finally spot her: a curvy woman with wavy black hair and green-blue eyes. She's hiding in the corner of the shop, practicing her aim with bread crumbs. The doorbell rings, as I enter the shop, and the woman immediately shoots up and takes a defensive stance in front of me. "Time to die, mirror-me.", I say to her with a grin, as I play with a broken chair leg in my hand.


	18. Tea party

**Chapter 17: Tea party**

* * *

As my chair leg penetrates through my image, the environment dissolves and is replaced by darkness. I slowly open my eyes. I'm currently standing in front of the door in father's apartment. I hadn't even entered, huh. Well, that was a waste of time. Whatever. Though this was a deadlock, there are still other roads left. Can't find the abductee? Then find the abductor! How difficult could it be to find a medieval convention anyways?

Apparently, it's quite difficult. Cab man doesn't know their hideout, or at least he isn't willing to tell me. Something about 'I'm just the one driving you to your destination, you have to find the way yourself'. What a poser, a simple 'I don't know' would've been enough. Since cab man is not much of a help, I decide to search for advice somewhere else. And that somewhere else is dark mage's side. "What are you talking about, what medieval convention?", dark mage asks me with an unreadable expression. "The one my father joined.", I explain to him. "… You mean those hunters? They usually take refuge in churches and the like, but the current hideouts of the L.A. hunters aren't known. But why do you want to know that? You're too young and inexperienced to take on hunters, you shouldn't underestimate them, just because they're kine.", dark mage advises me. "I'm not just some dumb baby anymore! I have already seen all the steps of the moon dance!", I protest with a frown. Dark mage grins at me. "Suit yourself." Thanks for nothing, lord of darkness. _How often have I told you… it's not time yet, Solitaire._ 'Shut it! I'm sick and tired of waiting. How much longer do you expect me to stay still, Mr. … Dumbass?! See? You're not the only one, who can think of stupid nicknames! HA! In your face!', I shout back at the voice in my head. I admit, that I may have overreacted a bit. Dark mage is glancing at me weirdly. Hm, do I have something on my face? I cough slightly and smile at him innocently. "Trouble with yourself?", he asks me with a smirk. "No! No, no, no. Everything is just fine. Yes, I'm in harmony, like the New York Philharmonic. Anyways, I still have some… business… to do. I better go. Toodeloo.", I hastily bid the dark one good bye and disappear into the night. _…..Solitaire? …..Sol? ….. Sol? ….. Sol? …..Sol? …..Sol?_ 'WHAT?', I hiss annoyed. _It really is too early. Trust me. Would your own voice ever lie to you? Uhm, wait no, I mean would_ _ **this**_ _voice ever lie to you?_ Oh, I don't know. What makes you different from the other voices, apart from being especially annoying? _You have a point. Nonetheless, it's too early, just give up for now._ 'It's too early, it's too early…', I parrot the voice. When is it not too early? _Tomorrow._ Tomorrow? _Tomorrow!_ Ok, I guess I can wait until tomorrow…

After my waking-up routine, my pet hands me a present the next night. "For me?", I ask her excitedly. I mean, who doesn't love presents? The ribbon around the small, elongated box is especially cute in addition. Perfect. Just how I love my presents. "Oh, you. You shouldn't have. I already know, that you're one of my secret admirers.", I playfully chime my pet, as I take the box from her. "That's not it, master! The box isn't from me. I found it in the mail this morning. It had your name on it.", my pet explains to me with red cheeks. Hm, suspicious. But what can I do? This ribbon is truly cute! I untangle the ribbon and open the box. Inside lies a light blue folding fan. "Cute.", I sigh and lightly stroke it. The moment my fingertips touch it, my world begins to warp. Really? AGAIN?!

Green bushes have surrounded me, when the scenery stabilized. Oh my, this is a labyrinth! Awesome! Finally, a fun place. But something feels wrong about this labyrinth. What is it… Is it the butler with a goat head, who is silently staring at me? No, people like that are pretty common in labyrinths. Ah yes. It's the sun of course. I glance at the huge ball of death, that is lightening up the sky. "Fuck you, you oversized vampire-toaster. No one likes you! Except for tanned bitches! And even they prefer spray tan over your death rays!", I angrily shout at the sun, before following the silent and mysterious goat butler. Some things simply need to be said, if given the chance. We head deeper into the labyrinth with every turn, until goat butler suddenly vanishes. I don't mind him anymore, since he decided to play hide and seek, and continue my steps around another curve. After the curve, the way opens up to a small garden.  
There's a woman sitting in this garden, wearing a fancy, bouncy, classy pink dress with lots of ribbons. There are sweets and a tea set lined up on the small table in front of her. This is a tea party, isn't it? "Take a seat.", the woman suddenly commands me with a sweet voice. After hesitating, I decide to follow her commands for now. I always wanted to participate in a tea party after all, so there's no way I'm missing out on this. Sitting face to face with the woman enables me to observe her more closely. She is not a great beauty, but she seems young. According to her looks, she should be in her twenties. She has green-blue eyes and white curly hair, which is adorned with even more pink ribbons. She's even wearing a collar in the form of a pink ribbon. I have a hunch, that she likes ribbons, just like me. "We're very similar, aren't we, dear?", the ribbon lady remarks. I glance at her rather flat chest, despite the corset's best effort, to push some mountains (or at least mounds) into existence. "How?", I ask her flatly. "Well, my cupcakes might be on the table and not on my body-", ribbon lady admits, "But! Apart from that our appearance is quite similar? Green-blue eyes, black hair…" False! I have blue-green eyes, the total opposite of her eye color. And apart from that… "Black hair? Liar.", I turn to her curls. "Is my wig the lying one, or is it the rest of my body, which still pretends to be young?", ribbon lady muses. You're obviously both liars.  
"Why have you invited me to this tea today?", I ask her, to cut to the chase. "Do I need a reason for a tea party?", she counters. "Cake doesn't simply fall from the sky. I might be stupid and naïve, but I'm not that stupid and naïve.", I retort. Ribbon lady clicks her tongue. "Young ones are so impatient and rude. Have you never heard of the term 'filial piety'?", she criticizes me. I have a Chinese empress in me, of course I have heard of filial piety before.  
"Wait, filial piety? Who are you?"  
"Why, I'm me of course."  
"Yeah, well, but what's your name?"  
"Why do you bother asking me that?"  
"Because I thought, you know, maybe you would tell me the answer." Duh. Upon hearing my reply, ribbon lady bursts into laughter. I silently watch her laughing to her satisfaction, when she finally replies, "As if any sane or insane kindred, who is not a complete dumbass, would EVER tell you their name.", she mocks me.  
Why am I a dumbass? And have the other kindred not introduced themselves to me before? "Why wouldn't they?", I ask her curiously. "Names hold power, dear. That's why everyone uses an alias. Besides, as a fellow Malkavian, aren't you afraid of the one, who eats names?" I have never heard of the one, who eats names. I didn't even know, that eating names is a thing. Are names tasty? I bet they taste like alphabet soup.  
"Who is the one, who eats names?"  
"You don't talk about the one, who eats names, lest you catch his attention. For the same reason, you don't tell others your name, especially not the Cobweb.", she advises me. This conversation is going nowhere.  
"Anyways, why am I here?", I change the topic.  
"A tea party without a guest would be just drinking tea by myself, wouldn't it?", she retorts.  
"You drink tea?"  
"Well, obviously, we have passed the boundaries of reality; otherwise how could we enjoy ourselves under the watchful gazes of the sun?" I glance at the fiery ball of doom, which is menacing above our heads.  
"Where is this place anyways?"  
"You mean ' _When_ is this place'.", ribbon lady corrects me. Lady, you don't know what an answer is? Why is every reply of yours only confusing me further?!  
"Whenever this place is, couldn't you have chosen a different time? I'm not exactly a fan of the thing that is most capable of killing me.", I complain to her.  
Ribbon lady sighs and then suddenly takes a small, silver thing out of a hidden pocket in her voluminous skirt and flings it at the horizon. The horizon shatters into small shards, each reflecting a different point of time, from sunrise to sunset and the circle of the moon phases. "Happy now?", ribbon lady asks me. I nod. "Wonderful.", she says smiling and gracefully lifts an empty tea cup to her lips. I obediently copy her behavior. You don't mess with someone, who has the ability to shatter your sky after all.  
"You should try one of the cupcakes, dear.", ribbon lady offers me sweetly. I hesitate for a moment, indecisive, whether I really should try one, or only act as if I would. The memory of what happened the last time that I tried to eat a cupcake is still burning in my mind. Whatever, let's take a real bite, since we're outside the boundary of reality right now. I choose a pink cupcake and carefully take a small bite out of it, causing the red and juicy filling to seep out. The cupcake tastes like diabetes.  
A diabetics blood, to be more precise.  
"Well? Is it to your liking?", ribbon lady asks me suavely.  
"Very delicious.", I reply.  
"That's good to hear.", ribbon lady says and then also takes a cupcake and bites into it. "Now… about the bridge between us, you know, the one you've been searching for…", she continues between bites.  
"Yes?"  
"He knows, that she knows, what shouldn't be known. Knowledge is expensive, even if it is just second-hand knowledge. But that's not the point. The point is, that she has to believe, that no one would know about her knowledge.", ribbon lady explains.  
"Yes… I don't get anything of what you just said. You have to express yourself more clearly, if you want me to understand you, lady.", I retort with a pinch of sarcasm in my voice.  
"It's ok, you don't need to understand. Just be careful of what can't be found and the knowledge of it.", she advises me.  
"Uhm, sure.", I reply. Whatever, I'll just enjoy my bloody cupcake and afterwards I'll leave immediately. Who cares about what this crazy lady is spouting anyways? "You'll find what remains of the bridge between me and you in the place, where they're hunting a ton, even though god likes to come and go.", ribbon lady informs me, while gazing at me meaningfully. What is this, a riddle? I love riddles!  
"I love you, granny.", I accidently blurt out. I can't help it; granny ribbon lady has thoroughly captured my heart through food and entertainment. Plus, she's making me confused, and I like that. Not being confused is such a boring state of mind. Ribbon lady giggles due to my sudden confession and I touch my face in embarrassment. I'm still dead, so I won't blush, but I like acting a little coquettish.  
"What are you doing in the gardens? The prince told you to stay inside!", a rude man suddenly interrupts our tea party and starts scolding ribbon lady. He's also wearing a white wig, coupled with strange, dark-blue, outdated clothes and is accompanied by another man, wearing a similar outfit in black.  
"Oh my, did you become blind, dear Edward? I'm obviously hosting a tea party.", granny ribbon lady retorts calmly. Awkward Edward sighs annoyed.  
"I see, you're hosting a tea party? And where is the tea? Where are the snacks? And the guests?", the rude man asks her, with a voice dripping of sarcasm.  
Uhm, excuse me? I'm right here, is he blind?  
"How rude! To simply ignore the existence of such a charming lady… How disappointing of you, Edward." Ribbon granny turns to me, after scolding the rude man. "Please excuse this rude behavior of my acquaintance. He was born with eyes but is unable to see, it's such a pity."  
"His ridiculous outfit amuses me; therefore, forgiveness is given in return.", I reply magnanimously. My answer makes ribbon lady chuckle. Though we don't know each other for long, it's clear, that we're not only in the same book, but even on the same page. Granny totally seems to get me.  
"Once again, all you do is talking gibberish.", the rude guy turns towards his companion, "Sire, why do you keep this mad woman by your side?" His companion sighs. "Arguing with a Malkavian is a waste of time. I believe I have already told you that before." His companion's voice grows sterner, as he adds, "I hate repeating myself. Just leave the lady alone, Edward."  
Ah, seeing unruly children being scolded by their parents always lifts my mood.  
"That being said, I must insist, that you come back inside, Lady Cadeau. Times are tense, who knows when the Sabbat will attack.", the Sire of the rude guy calmly warns ribbon granny.  
"It seems our lovely tea party must come to an end. But don't worry, we'll see each other again.", ribbon lady bids me goodbye and my vision turns dark.

A moment later, I open my eyes to the sight of my pet's concerned eyes. "Master, you woke up! I was worried, when you suddenly fell asleep.", she excitedly exclaims upon seeing me. "Ok, ok, I get it. You want to play. But master has no time for you right now.", I reply, while gently pushing her face out of my sight and sitting up. It seems I'm back again at my haven. Granny must be a really powerful witch, to be able to teleport me, destroy the sky and bake delicious cupcakes. The ones I made, were so bad, I had to throw up from just taking a bite. I still have a lot to learn. I should definitely trade cupcake recipes with granny, the next time I meet her. I get up from the couch and head towards my dayroom, where I grab the stuff I might need and put it in my bag. Before I head out, I stop in front of my pet. "Wait… I do have time for you! I'm thirsty. I want to taste the rainbow!" My pet shyly exposes her neck for me, and I bite into it without a second thought. Hm, still tasty. Getting a pet was one of my rare good decisions.

As usual, cab man is already mysteriously waiting for me in front of my haven. I wordlessly take a seat in his cab. "Where to?", he asks me with his lovely dark voice. "A building, where gods come and go and they're hunting a ton.", I reply grimly. "And where might that be?", asks me cab man. "I already said, in Huntington, didn't I? How many churches could there possibly be in those hunting grounds, which were abandoned again and again?", I chide him. I admit, I'm feeling tense like a loaded slingshot and moody like a compass on the magnetic north pole. I can't help it, I'm about to retrieve the most important person to me: the one who damned me for all eternity. Speaking of hunting a lot, the number would probably want to join in on the fun.

 _I'm on my way to hunt for a father. A birdie told me numbers also like bloodshed? If we're lucky, we'll also get to hunt a few hunted hunters, apart from the main-prey. You in, or you pussy?_

 _XOXO Mahou Shoujou Adeline_

I press on send, and a moment later my dimension device vibrates.

 _You found the nest of hunters? Are you sure, kiddo? Where are they located? Anyways, don't underestimate them, just because they're kine. You won't survive, if you go in alone. Come to The Last Round, then we can plan an attack together with the others._

Dammit, I thought Anarchs were stupidly impulsive?! To plan the attack? Why would we need to do that? _You're too weak, Sol. Just call it a day for now and wait for another night ._ I won't give up! I waited too long for this. _You waited for about a month._ Yes, as I said, too long. _Just keep the hunted hunters as dessert. Your aim is not hunting hunted hunters anyways._ … Maybe I'll do that. We'll see how I feel. By the way, you're annoying and my name is not Sol. _Whatever you say, Sol._

Once the cab stops and I step out, I can feel watchful eyes lingering on me again. The eyes feel more alive and less nasty, an indicator for hunted hunters. The eyes aren't paying any attention to me yet. This is probably due to the maid disguise I'm currently wearing. Those servants perfected the art of not being noticed to the point, where just wearing their clothes is enough to be ignored. They're like ninjas, who can cook. Truly admirable. In an alley, safely away from the target, I silently observe the house of visiting gods and its surroundings. Has the genre of this movie swapped yet again? The current title should be 'Mission impossible'.  
The house of visiting gods seems scary, as the other houses are afraid of it to the point, where they keep a safe distance from it.  
Therefore, approaching the house of visiting gods without being spotted by the watchful eyes will be difficult. Infiltrating will be such a tricky task, only a trickster like myself could succeed. Thankfully, I'm a trickster like myself. I obfuscate and slowly crouch towards the house of visiting gods. Like a satellite around the earth, I circle around the building from a safe distance, looking for a way to get in. There's a small entrance, which is less watched by the lively eyes, but two hunted hunters are standing in front of it. One is your average brown-eyed, brown-haired hunted hunter Joe, while the other is a cute blondie with shoulder-length, slightly curly hair. They seem a bit familiar for some reason, but I can't remember where I have seen them before. The blond one is currently trying to light her cigarette. The tight leather clothes are complimenting her nice figure, but a pink babydoll would fit her face more. Alright, time to shine. I draw the kitchen knife from my apron and position myself behind hunter Joe. But before I can fillet him, he suddenly looks behind him. "Is someone there?", he warily asks his hunting companion. I freeze and take a few steps back, surprised by his actions. He hasn't spotted me yet, but he's clearly sensing me! Since when have I been so bad at playing hide and seek?  
"There's nothing, John. No need to be so tense.", babydoll retorts. "Man, after knowing what roams in these nights, I really hate the darkness.", hunter Joe complains. "Geez, don't be such a pussy.", babydoll mocks him. Good job, babydoll. Now then, where was I… Oh wait, someone's approaching. "Mateo… you're back." Hunter Joe is the first one again, to sense the new presence. What is he, a human radar? The awe in hunter Joe's voice makes it clear, that the newcomer is not a Joe like him, this must be a big shot. "Was it a good hunt?", babydoll asks him excitedly. Man, those hunters sure are fangirling for the newcomer. Such a pity, that I can't see his face, since Joe's back is blocking my view. "Hm.", is the only reply babydoll receives from the newcomer. He seems to have a sense for dramatics. I respect that. "Beware of the red-hooded hunter, or his passion will burn you.", someone suddenly whispers in my ear. Who's there?! Ah, I see. It was just one of my voices. The priestess or Wood boy? It's hard to tell, but I think it was the priestess. I hesitate. It's just three kine, but why do I feel as if attacking them would turn out to be my grave instead of theirs? Sunshine.  
I silently retreat, while keeping my eyes on the three of them. Once I put enough distance between us and the hunted hunters, I shamefully start walking back to cab man. Once I reached his ship, I wordlessly sit down on the co-commander-seat, while hugging my knees. _Loooooooser._ Shut up. _LOOOOOSER!_ I said shut up! "Where to?" "Cabman, do you think I'm the protagonist?", I ask him, ignoring his question. "Everyone is the protagonist of their own life, aren't they?" I sigh in disappointment of his ignorance. "No. I hate breaking the fourth wall here, but you're definitely just a NPC. An interesting and mysterious NPC, but just a NPC nonetheless.", I retort. "What makes you think, that I would be a NPC?", cabman asks me with slight interest. "You like the role of being an observer, no? You always watch, but never act, just like a NPC. They also never take action. That is why you can't be the player. Me on the other hand, I'm always running around, doing stupid errands for XP, trying to level up, so that I'll be able to defeat the end boss. The life of the player is not as leisure, as it is for the NPCs.", I explain to him. "So, where's your next mission?" Is he mocking me? For not completing my last, no, my current mission? "We… I… We… I don't know. How about sailing to where legends lie? We need some inspiration for our own legend."


	19. Failure

**Chapter 18: Failure**

* * *

A while later, cabman casts his anchor in front of the Hollywood cemetery. Using the famous human ladder, I climb the walls again and take a stroll among the graves. Since I still remember the stupid bug who bit me, I simply kick every face I see back into their grave. Damn, this fat one is persistent… "Cupcake? What are you doing here?" I stop my stomping and turn around to faze Romero, the zombie tamer. "Stomping legends back into their grave, obviously. What do you think I was doing?", I ask him annoyed. "You're in a bad mood or something?", he asks me with a raised eyebrow. "Bad mood? What's that? Hahaha.", I retort defensively. Damn him and his sharp eyes. "Whoa, calm down sugarpuss. I didn't mean to attack you, or anything. I also like kicking zombies, when I'm in a bad mood after all, nothing wrong with that." "I'm neither made of sugar, nor am I a cat.", I reply. Romero is funny. Suddenly I have an idea.  
"Speaking of pets, want to pet me again?", I ask him boldly, while stroking his chin teasingly. Romero has a lot to teach, when it comes to being slutty. "I don't like being teased, cupcake. And I don't do things halfway. If you want to play I'm in, so long as you go through with it this time.", he replies while grabbing the hand I was stroking him with and looking at me challengingly. "Oh, I'm totally the type to go through with stuff as well!", I bluff. He doesn't know that I came here, after ditching my most important quest, right? "Really? Then, want to go inside my hut? I also wouldn't mind staying here, if that's what you want. I won't lie, getting blown while shooting zombies is a secret fantasy of mine." He wants zombies to breath on him, while shooting them? That's such a weird fantasy. I mean, zombies normally don't breathe, are they even able to blow? He's such a weird, funny guy. "Let's go inside." Breathing zombies freak me out, I'm not ready for that.  
Inside zombie tamer's small hut, he immediately started kissing me, and pressing me against the wall, while his hands started wandering over my body. Ok. As expected of zombie tamer. He's an expert skank. I'm still a beginner on the other hand. Well, I still know how to kiss. But where do I place my hands? His shoulders? Yes, I think that's the right place. Oh, ok. His right hand is crawling under my skirt. That's fine. I'm totally cool with him squeezing my butt. I'm going through with it this time after all. His left hand is massaging my cherries. That's also fine, I'm already used to that. Suddenly, his other hand stops stroking my butt and he starts unbuttoning the buttons of my simple black maid dress instead. Uhm, how am I supposed to react? I… I should just let him do his thing, right? Damn, I forgot to wear my bra again. Without missing a beat, zombie tamer lowers his head. Wait, what is going to do? A moment later, I feel him lightly biting me. OK, THAT'S ENOUGH! "I'M THE ONE WHO BITES!", I yell at him, while pushing him away. Then I immediately dash out of his hut, while I ignore his swearing. While heading back to the entrance angrily, I button my dress again.  
Does this still count as going through? I mean, ok, maybe we could have gone farther, but we still went pretty far, didn't we? We did, didn't we?! Dammit, if it weren't for zombie tamer biting me, I wouldn't have failed this mission again. May you walk in sunlight for this! Oh my Caine, this is already the second mission this night that I failed. THE SECOND! Do I even deserve to be called the protagonist? I mean, protagonists aren't supposed to fail, unless it is a ploy to make them stronger. And more importantly, protagonists always stay optimistic, yet I'm feeling down right now. I enter cab man's cab and sit down with a sigh. Currently, I'm not feeling like a cheerleader at all. Cheerleaders sleep with quarterbacks. Cheerleaders are cheerful. I don't deserve to call myself a cheerleader right now. Suddenly I feel the light sensation of a blanket being dropped on my shoulders. 'Ah yes, this is just what I needed right now…', I think, while burying myself in the blanket.

As the sun goes down, I reluctantly open my eyes. Damn, I really don't want to remember what happened last night… "Master? Are you awake?", pet asks me teary-eyed, while hovering over me. Aww, cute. That's why pets are awesome, they love you unconditionally, the way only stupid beings could. I yawn, just for appearance' sake, push her face out of the way and sit up. "Master, I had a horrible dream! You were in it, and then there was also another you, and you were arguing with yourself and, and judging yourself, and then… and then… and then you ate yourself! And I, I didn't know which one of you ate who and it… it was just horrible! Please don't hurt yourself, master. I can't bear the thought of losing you!", rainbow sobs. "Shhhhh… Do you hear that, rainbow?", I ask her, while pressing a finger against her lips. Rainbow tilts her head and tries to suppress her sobs. "Wh what?", she finally asks me. "Try listen to it more closely.", I advise her. Rainbow obediently tries to listen to it, while her sorrow quietens down. "I don't hear anything?", rainbow comments confused. "Exactly! Nothing! Silence. No laughter, not even a light giggle.", I reply aggrieved. "It couldn't be… I truly failed my mission? Oh my Caine. OH MY FUCKIN CAINE!", I yell, while placing my hands on my forehead. I jump from the bed and pace around nervously. "Master? What's wrong?", an intimidated rainbow asks me. "Everything! Everything is wrong!", I snap at her. "Failure was never an option for me! Even when we were mortal, we were never allowed to fail, and yet… Except for dying. We failed at dying, but that was ok. It was necessary to continue the story after all, it counts as a plot device. But not this time! Not now!", I ramble on in desperation. This is bad. I mean ray of sunshine-level of bad. Simply the worst. I pause and dash towards the wardrobe, tear open its door and gaze at the cheerleading uniform, which leisurely sits on the second shelf, neatly folded, as if everything would be in good order. My hand reaches out for it, but ultimately hesitates. Will it even accept me now, being the failure that I am? There's only one way to find out. I stop hesitating and touch it. Nothing happens. Feeling relieved, I grab it, before storming out of the bedroom. "Wait, master?", I hear rainbow shout behind me. I pause, turn towards her and gaze at her questioningly. "What about my nightmare? You wouldn't eat yourself, right?", she asks me shyly. "Do you know any cheerleader, who is suicidal?", I ask her sarcastically. "Uhm… no?", an insecure rainbow replies. "Exactly.", I say, before turning around again and leaving the haven. Once I'm in the elevator, I put on the cheerleader uniform. Wearing it, makes me feel confident and cheerful again. And I need this confidence, my journey isn't over yet, after all. I still need to take revenge on everyone, who wronged me.

My first stop on my revenge-rage is The Last Round, the perfect place for raging. "You're still alive, kiddo? Nines said you found the hunters' nest. You wanted to raid that on your own? He was looking for you last night, by the way.", laughing Jack asks me, immediately after spotting me. "No. Yes. Yes. Is that so?", I answer his questions in a monotone voice. "Speaking of raiding and raging, I thought these were the Anarchs' favorite pastimes?", I inquire challengingly. Laughing Jack raises an eyebrow. "What's wrong, kiddo? You look kinda peeved.", he replies smirking. I silently glare at him with crossed arms in response.  
"Anyways, about those hunters, seeing that you're still walking around in one piece, I take it you decided not to go kamikaze and rush right in, right?"  
Dammit. He got me. I clear my throat, "Uh-hum, anyways, such a nice night, isn't it? Perfect for raging bloodshed." "Ha, it sure is.", laughing Jack replies. "Anyways, on Nines' request I started looking for people to raid that nest. Tell us where the nest is, we'll do the scouting and when everything is ready, I'll contact you."  
"Hunting in a pack is indeed more fun. Huntington is the hunted hunting ground. In the house of the visiting gods. Cab man can show you the way, it's his superpower. And tell the number to count me in. Heh. Get it?" Counting numbers… "Yeah, no worries, kiddo. We won't go without you. Oh, and don't invite any more people to join the hunt. We Anarchs are more than enough to handle that. Besides, if more people join the hunt, there wouldn't be enough prey left for you, would there?", laughing Jack reminds me laughingly. "Ah, by the way laughing one, do you know any hunting celebrities?", I ask him out of curiosity.  
"Hunting celebrities? You mean famous hunters? I know a few of them, why?" I don't know how to feel about the fact that laughing Jack is knowledgeable about hunted hunter celebrities. He couldn't be a secret fan, right? "Is the red one famous? The others were fangirling due to him.", I ask him. "A hunter wearing red? He's probably from the inquisition. Ugh, nasty guys, those inquisitors. You should be careful with them, kiddo. They tend to be more dangerous than your average hunter." If I ever find the poster of the red son of a sun in Jack's possession, I'll disinherit him!  
"Ugh, fangirls… I have no more words to trade with the laughing one. Toodeloo.", I bid him goodbye and head towards the exit.  
"Adeline." My, what a coincidence. I've come across my favorite number. "Nine. Lighthouse.", I greet the two. Lighthouse always seems to follow the number. Is she stalking him, hoping that she'll be able to meet me via him? Because she noticed I liked his voice? Lighthouse, your obsession with me, is scaring me a little.  
"You talked to Jack?", number nine asks me. "Yeah, we traded words and then he invited me on a raging date of doom. It's my first date since my death, I'm so excited!", I reply, while faking excitement to make the number jealous. He may have declined my date request, but that doesn't mean that I'm undesirable! Speaking of desire… "Lighthouse, may I ask you something?" Lighthouse just grunts as a reply. She should take some language classes, she uses grunts way too often to communicate. Anyways, I reposition my boobs and then look her dead in the eyes. "Do you think I'm a skank?" "What, afraid of people mistaking you for a saint? Don't worry, your whore-ass reeks of lechery and bad decisions, no one would ever call you pious.", lighthouse retorts sarcastically. Ah, that's lighthouse for you.  
She never disappoints my expectations of her. It feels nice to be reassured like that. "Yeah, you're right! I'm like, totally promiscuous and stuff.", I enthusiastically chime in. "Anyways, we must sail to other ports. Toodeloo.", I bid them goodbye and finally leave The Last Round.

I'm feeling ravenous like a raccoon, maybe I should visit the gardens of the goddess. _The cheese is waiting for the mouse. The cat observes from the shadows._ Yeah, I totally get what you're trying to tell me. "Adeline. Long time no see." Dammit. Is tonight the night of random encounters? "Long time no say! Greetings, dark mage.", I greet him back reluctantly. "I hope you've been well?", he asks me smilingly. Why does he always want to know that? "Well, well, well. I haven't been a well lately. And yourself, dark mage? Have you fulfilled any wishes lately? Or kidnapped any damsels in distress?", I politely ask him back. I prefer my talk big over small, but empress is very concerned about etiquette and faces. I don't know why she's into faces, but it creeps me out a little, to be honest.  
 _I'm not into faces! I merely want to keep mine_!  
'Yeah, if we ever fall prey to a serial kindred killer, I'll be sure to tell him that. I mean, it's not like the thought of us becoming the prey is ridiculous, or anything.', I mock her, before concentrating on dark mage again. He seems to have been waiting for me, to finish my inner dialog, before answering. How thoughtful of him.  
"In a way, I fulfilled a wish tonight. Anyways, do you want to share a drink with me? It'll be my treat." Is he singing the blood ode? Because that's music in my ears! "And it'll be my pleasure, dark mage. You're looking especially dark tonight, by the way. And very mysterious.", I add a few compliments to my acceptation for him. I follow dark mage to the Empire, where he gets a room for us. True to his words, he tells me to wait in the room, while he'll do all the work.  
Satisfied with the way things are going currently, I jump onto the cozy double bed and roll around. At first, I was afraid of the dark mage, but now I kind of trust him. He's the one, who takes the most care of me, after all. And apart from his treat, I'm kind of happy to see him again. The sound of the door being opened, pulls me out of my thoughts. "Please, after you, my dear.", dark mage says, and a classy lady with dark, wavy hair enters the room. She's wearing an office dress, which emphasizes her curvy silhouette. "Wait, who's that?", the lady confusedly asks dark mage, as soon as she spots me. "Don't mind her. I'm the one you should be concentrating on.", he charmingly replies. I never noticed it before, but dark mage's voice is also quite nice. He may not be as good as the number, but he must have eaten a lot of honey, when he was still mortal.  
The dark mage closes the door behind her, gently strokes her cheek and then leans into her, lightly biting her neck. As the dark mage's teeth penetrate her neck, she moans softly. I grow excited as the scent of blood reaches me and jump out of the bed. The dark mage's fangs immediately leave her neck after penetrating it, and he skillfully catches the dazed mortal. Together, we transport her to the bed, where we lie down together with her. With dark mage on the one side, and us on the other, we start sucking her blood. Ah, she tastes absolutely delicious. As expected of the dark mage. Noticing her heartbeat weakening, I immediately withdraw my fangs and lick her neck, until the wound closes. Such a pity that she doesn't have more blood. She's so yummy. While I'm licking my lips, savoring the remnants of her taste, dark mage also stops drinking.  
"Aromatic, light bodied and sweet. Good choice, dark mage.", I enthusiastically compliment him. "I knew she would fit your taste.", dark mage replies smirking. "You seem to know us so well, dark mage." Maybe a bit too well. "Not really. I just have a knack for finding good blood. I guess it's a talent of my clan."  
Ah yes, of course. The dark mage is a blood whisperer, how could I forget? "I wonder what's the favorite vitae-vintage of a connoisseur of vitae like yourself?", I curiously ask the dark mage. "I don't have any preferences. You could say it depends on my mood." Yeah, I totally get that. For example, skyprisoners are perfect for when you want to remember how much being a skyprisoner sucked, but like in a bad way, and how much it sucks being dead instead, but like, in a good way.  
"Then, what's the occasion for you light-bodied, sweet and aromatic sky prisoner-mood?"  
"No particular reason. I just invited you out of a whim. You like sharing your food with others, don't you? It's quite a peculiar preference to have." Peculiar. It's such a beautiful word. I like being called peculiar. But breaking bread with others is a normal social interaction, isn't it? "Anyways, what have you been up to these nights? I hope you didn't feel neglected, because I didn't have much time for you lately." Now that I think about it, I kind of missed the dark mage a little. Well, it's normal, isn't it? First you hate your babysitter, but after they play with you, you slowly start to see them as your friend, until you find out that they've actually been payed the whole time for hanging out with you and you hate them again. "I mostly followed the rabbit down to Wonderland. I wanted to catch it, but it was faster than me. Damn that rabbit!", I reply, while raising my fist in frustration. "I see. Which reminds me, I made something for you, in case you want to chase after rabbits again.", Dark mage says with a wink. He reaches into his dark leather coat and hands me a small box, wrapped in shiny, silver paper, with a dark red ribbon on it. "A present?! Ah, what a cute ribbon! Thank you, thank you, thank you!", I squeak. I love presents! I carefully unwrap my present, until I hold a small metal container in my hands, similar to those flasks the dark mage was wearing, when we were bashing babies. "… You want to teach us how to tame blood?!", I exclaim in delighted surprise.  
"I can't teach you Thaumaturgy, no. But you can use this to carry blood for emergencies. It's quite useful for tasks, where you often need to use your disciplines and feeding is difficult. I already filled it up for you by the way. For refilling, you can either buy blood packs from the Santa Monica blood bank, or use a funnel to get the blood directly from a mortal." Ah, goodbye my dream of a blood tapir. "Rip, Mortimer. You will never be, so you won't be missed. Still, thank you dark mage. You're exceptionally good to us tonight. Did someone curse you to be nice? I was also cursed to be nice once. It was awful. Then I died."  
"Don't worry, I don't have any ulterior motives." No ulterior motives? Is that even possible? "However, if you're thankful, there's something you could help me with." Called it. "You're good at finding stuff, aren't you? I'm searching for a friend of mine; his name is Gregory Bennett. He's a Tremere from the same chantry, but no one has seen him these nights. The others think that he just went into seclusion to study our ways, but I have the strange feeling that that's not the case. He's an introverted guy and doesn't like to involve others in his problems, but if he's having trouble, I'd like to help him. If you find him, just call me, since he doesn't like strangers. Also, he heavily distrusts kindred, who don't belong to our clan, therefore it's best if you don't approach him, after finding him." That's an awful lot of information for a quest I haven't accepted yet. "I'm kind of in a revenge rampage lately, so I don't know when I'll have time…", I carefully hint my refusal to accept his quest. "I see. Well, there's no rush, but try to find him, once you've got the time." I'm a bit confused. Is he requesting me, or ordering me to find his little friend?  
"Uhm. Suuuuure." Meh. I'll do it for the XP. "Well then, we should leave before the mortal wakes up. Besides, I don't want to delay your revenge-rampage thing any longer." We bid goodbye and our paths part. All in all, I'm lucky to have met the dark one, the item he gave me seems useful.

As I depart from the Empire, my dimension device informs me that my date with sweet revenge will take place the following night. Wonderful. Since everything is settled now for tomorrow night's mission, I decide to sail home for now.  
To my surprise, rainbow is still awake when I return. "Something the matter, my little hatter?", I ask her. "Master! I'm so happy that you're back. I was afraid you'd be sleeping somewhere else again." "I'm a responsible owner. Of course I won't leave you alone.", I reassure her, while I pass straight by her and head towards our bed. _You and responsible? Ha, what a joke._ "Master, it's been so long since you last let me drink from you. I nearly can't feel you anymore…", pet shyly mutters. "Mhm, my memories seem to remember feeding you when we were dancing like thrashing dragons among snakes." "Yes, but it's been so long ago. Please master, let me feel you in me once more. I'll do anything for you, I promise!"I sigh. Keeping pets is so bothersome sometimes. "I suppose we could exchange some liquid, however tit for tat!" I don't like going to bed hungry, it reminds me of my childhood.


	20. Dungeon raid

Chapter 19: Dungeon raid

* * *

 _author's note: fight scenes are hard to write! if you describe too much, it doesn't feel like an action scene anymore. also, the MC isn't knowing everything what's happening around her, therefore not every action that happens, is mentioned.  
_

 _by the way, the way I understood obfuscation, it doesn't make you invisible, but rather inhibits the ability of others to see / perceive you. therefore, the more conspicuous you'd act, the more difficult it would be to stay obfuscated and the more skilled you'd need to be. which would align with the game system.  
_

 _oh yeah, and since it was not in the game: apparently, kindred may panic, if they see fire, and it's called Rötschreck or the red fear. I didn't like the word Rötschreck, so I'll be using the other one. in the pen &paper, even the lighting of a cigarette could cause this panic, which is interesting for roleplaying, but in this universe, kindred won't panic that easily. _

* * *

When I head to the meeting destination designated by the laughing one; the number, lighthouse and a few others are already waiting there.  
And I expected them to chicken out again… Laughing Jack only told me to come to this dark backstreet, but apparently he forgot to mention that there is also going to be a dress code. The theme seems to be 'Underworld', as everyone is clad in leather and darkness. My pink and white magical girl uniform doesn't really fit this theme; I'm standing out like a sore thumb. I mean, I like standing out, but not in an outcast-ish way.  
"What the fuck is wrong with you?", lighthouse greets me. "And a nice day to you too, lighthouse.", I reply, while taking a look at her clothes. Black leatherjacket, black t-shirt and dark denim clamdiggers. Geez, lighthouse is such a follower. "Why don't you try using your brain every once in a while? With that outfit, the hunters will spot you from a mile away. Couldn't you have worn anything more inconspicuous?" Oh lighthouse, you're such a foolish one. "Why do you worry so much about me, lighthouse? Are you trying to dig my clam?" "Am I – WHAT?! FUCKIN BITCH! I'll tear you another hole, you whore!"  
'Whoa, lighthouse fire is burning really bright tonight', I think, as her punch catapults me through the air. "Easy there, Damsel." Just when she was hovering over me, preparing to dish out another punch into my face, the voice of the lovely number suddenly interrupts our physical conversation. The number's voice hasn't lost its magic, just three words and lighthouse's fire is on low flame again. While I get up, dust off my clothes and reset my dislocated chin, lighthouse unfairly complains to the number nine, "I was merely teaching her a little lesson about respect. I won't let her insult me, Malkavian or not."  
"You're lucky that I kind of like our love-hate-relationship, lighthouse. Otherwise, I wouldn't have let you punch me." _An accomplice-altered annoyance._ "There's no love between us, you delusional bimbo.", lighthouse retorts with a disgusted expression. Rude. "Damsel, we're about to raid a hunter's nest. This is not the right time for petty disagreements.", Nines calmly scolds her. Even when scolding, his voice sounds soft. "It's not like she'd be of any help for us. I mean look at her, I bet she dies before killing even one hunter." Excuse me? "Don't underestimate other kindred, before you even had a real fight with them, Damsel. Though it's good that the Brujah passion is flowing strong in you, you need to learn how to control your rage more.", Nines reprimands her. Weird, he almost sounds like a loving father. Wait, it couldn't be?! "Break it up already. Seeing you two bickering is entertaining, but the night isn't getting any younger. We need to get a move on.", laughing Jack also joins the conversation. "Now that you're also here, Nines, it's time to discuss our strategy." Laughing Jack beckons the others over to us as well and starts assigning us roles. My role is to sneak upon the house of leaving gods and open its doors. So I guess I'm a rogue? Chocolate-colored Tara's role is to shoot the hunters on the roof, once shit is getting down, so I guess she's a ranger. As for lighthouse, she's definitely classified as a barbarian, while the laughing one is a fighter. I'm not sure about the number, but I think he is a bard. There are also another two fighters and a druid in our group. One of the fighters will join the attack commando; the other will work with the druid to ensure that no prey escapes. Empress said it's a splendid battle strategy and that me, myself and I combined couldn't have come up with a better one. Having been assigned our roles, we're finally ready to rumble.

I sneak out of the sight of the others and obfuscate, before heading in the direction of the house of leaving gods. The backdoor is guarded by two other hunters tonight. I sneak up behind the first one and silently draw my Hearto. There's no red riding hood interrupting me this time, therefore I can easily distract hunter two with the big questions of life, causing him to massage his forehead while moaning. "Jeff? Hey what's wr-" I interrupt hunter number one with a love explosion, thereby scattering his brain over hunter number two and before hunter number two can process what's happening, I bash his head in as well with another love explosion.  
Now that I got the first objective, my next task is to break into the house of gods. After searching the bodies, I found a keychain in the left pocket of hunter one. Like stealing candy from a baby…  
After trying out several keys, I finally found the one, which fits into the lock, only to realize that the door was unlocked all along. Seriously? Thanks a lot guys. Way to go, just to make me feel useless again. I click my tongue and quietly step inside, still obfuscating of course. Once I'm in, the sight of a long wooden corridor greets me. There's a room with an open door a few steps ahead of me. Inside is an unsuspecting flock of hunters, talking about menial hunter stuff. I take a step forward, causing the old wooden floor to creak. "Shut up!", I whisper towards the floor, before slowly continuing to sneak towards the room full of hunters. After I intimidated the floor, it no longer dared to creak. Being a monster sure has its advantages. Once I'm closer to the hunter flock, I pause and try to distinguish the voices.  
There are at least five hunters in the room, maybe more. While I'm pondering on how to kill those hunters, the sound of a siren suddenly interrupts my thoughts. The siren also alarmed those hunters, as the noise of their relaxed conversation turned into chairs scraping, hasty steps and the sound of crossbows being loaded. I press myself closer to the wall. Without the element of surprise on my side, I'm not carelessly going to fight against a whole flock of hunters.  
"What's happening?", I can hear one of the hunters asking nervously, as they leave the room. "Obviously, we're getting attacked.", another hunter replies condescendingly. Two of the hunters pass by me, and head towards the backdoor, the others are heading into the other direction of the floor. "Cheer up boy, you might earn your first set of fangs tonight.", is the last thing I hear the condescending hunter say to the newbie, before they disappear behind the corner of the floor. Perfect. I turn around to the exit, where only two hunters are left. One is aiming his loaded crossbow towards the exit, while the other is grabbing a metal-fence out of a slit in the wall and placing it in front of the wall. What an interesting defense mechanism, I didn't even notice before, that there is a slit in the wall. While hunter four is fiddling around with the metal fence, trying to lock is, I'm sneaking up on hunter three, tightly grasping Hearto. Once I'm just two steps away from him, I unbend and distribute three's brain on the walls with another love explosion. Number four immediately turns around, as I swing Hearto towards his head.  
Suddenly I feel a cold pain in my chest and my movement slows down. Hearto collides with hunter four's head and I hear his skull crack. A moment later, he lifelessly slides down on the ground. Whoa, that was a close one. I look down on the stake stuck in my chest. My whole body feels kind of numb, but I'm still able to move my arms thankfully, albeit only slowly. I watch in annoyance, as my hands lethargically move towards the stake and slowly pull it out. Just a few inches to the left, and my body would have been fully paralyzed, I'm as lucky as a leprechaun. Like a good schoolgirl, I note it down in my mind to keep my distance to hunters during close combat. After pulling out the stake, the feeling gradually returns to my body. And what I'm feeling is mainly a burning thirst for blood. I look down on the corpses in front of me. Technically, aren't fresh corpses like fruits ready for the picking by the undead? I bend down and greedily lick the splattered blood of the faces of number three and four, before burying my neck in one of them. Tastes kind of bland. I move the metal fence back to where it came from and open the backdoor for my fellow monsters, before turning back around to search for the rest if the flock.

Once I turn around the corner, I'm left with the choice to either go upstairs, or continue following the wooden road of this floor. According to the German classes human me was forced to take, you don't want to be on the woodway, therefore I choose the stairs. The stairs lead to a platform, from which you can look down on a great hall filled with empty benches. A red carpet flows silently between the benches, which opens up to a table with a cross on top of it. There's a hunter kneeling in front of the cross and praying, not minding the flock of hunters a few steps away, who are shooting arrows with their crossbows through narrow windows.  
To pray in such a situation, this hunter really lacks common sense, and that is coming from me! Anyways, the hall is filled with hunters and they're apparently already fighting the attack commando. I count sixteen hunters, that are too many to take on by myself. Although, maybe if I use my ultimate? Or I could distract them, to help the attack commando reach the door? There's an organ on this platform for some reason and I'm itching to try playing phantom of the opera on it.  
Ah, but the door is barred from the inside. I guess I need to use my ultimate. But the radius of my ultimate isn't very wide, I have to get down there. I holster Hearto and climb onto the stone railing, still obfuscating. I carefully place my feet one by one on the other side of the railing, while grabbing onto the handrail. While grabbing two balusters, I lower by body, until I'm dangling in the air, with only my hands still holding onto the balusters.  
"Cotton candy, lollipop and cherry pie, make me as light as a butterfly!", I chant quietly, before releasing the balusters. Due to my magic spell, none of the hunters noticed my fall. Being a magic girl is neat. I hastily sneak towards the other side of the hall, where the hunters are gathered, and stop a few steps away from them. I need a lot of mana for my ultimate and crouching around with a hole in my chest while obfuscating made me thirsty. I detach the flask dark mage gave me and swiftly down its content. "Ahh.", I sigh. So refreshing. So delicious. As expected of the dark mage. "Someone there?!" Oh, they noticed me. But it's already too late for them.  
I drop the flask and draw Hearto, without bothering to obfuscate any longer. "Lovey-dovey blood purge!", I chant excitedly, as I draw a heart with Hearto, before pounding it onto the floor. As Hearto hits the floor, a wave of hearts gushes out, washing over those hunters around me. In the same moment, a biting cold penetrates me underneath my right collarbone and I let the impact push me headstraight onto the floor. Sunshine. I forgot about the praying fool. But lucky for me, he wasn't charming enough to strike my heart. While I'm forcing my slow body to turn to the side, so that I can get rid of the stake, hell is breaking loose in this house of god. "They got inside!" "Stay away from me, stay away from me!" "Kenny! Kenny are you alright?!" I stare flabbergasted at the hunter crouching in front of me. Who the fuck is Kenny? "Oh shit, they got you. Damn those bloodsuckers.", he mumbles as he crouches closer to me and stares at my stake. "Don't worry, you're going to make it!", he assures me with tears in his eyes. Well, duh, I'm the protagonist… While drama queen here is helping me to remove the stake, the other hunters continue to wage war against themselves and insult each other as bloodsuckers and what not. Suddenly my body thaws, only to boil into raging redness.

A loud bang draws me out of the redness and the quiet sight of lifeless, staked hunters greets me. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I turn around to the voice behind me in confusion. "How about opening the fucking door for us next time?!" Wow, it's lighthouse. And wooden Tara with her rifle. They somehow managed to break through the door. "Too pious to use the backdoor, lighthouse? I left that one open for you, you know?", I retort sarcastically. "Yeah, well, it's not like we can leave any exit unsealed, genius." "Enough with your bickering already. Jack and Nines took the backdoor. They're not here yet?" After more consideration, isn't it kind of weird how I was sent to sneakily infiltrate this place, only for the Anarchs to follow me like a marching band of elephants? Are they not trusting me? How suspicious. Maybe I should've listened more closely when the laughing one was explaining the great battle plan. "How did you manage to kill them, without Nines' or Jack's help?", Tara asks, while glancing at the staked hunter-corpses littering the hall. "Uhm, they… had an internal dispute. About whether dating your stepsister counts as incest.", I reply innocently. The two of them look at me weirdly. "The answer was: no, but it's fucking disgusting nonetheless.", I further explain to them. "Spare us with your bullsh-", lighthouse begins, before being interrupted by a bang and a "DUCK!" Something heavy suddenly rams into me, causing me to slam headright into the cold hard floor.

I glance upwards and – FLAMES! _Flames, flames, flames!_ FLAMES! _Flames!_ FLAMEEEEEES! No wait, calm down, me! _HOT!_ CALM THE FUCK DOWN! _Since when can fire fly?!_ SHUT UP! "BURN IN HELL, BLOODY LEECH!", I hear someone shout from behind, as the heavy objects pressing me down is suddenly rolling off to the left. Once I'm free of the ballast keeping me down, I roll to the other side, hastily getting away from the fire hovering over me. While I'm stumbling to get up, the fire dies down. Red riding hood menacingly appears in the slightly hidden door I was facing with my back just a moment ago. We lock eyes. Oh shit. I barely manage to dodge the second dragon's breath coming towards me, but this time it keeps pursuing me. "Sunshine, sunshine, sunshine!", I swear, as I keep dashing away from the breath of death. "By the power of God, I repel you!", red riding hood yells, and my gaze automatically shots towards him. Somehow, the number appeared beside him, but red riding hood is waving a silver cross in his face and the number is stumbling away from him, seemingly blinded by that silly cross. What the hell is happening here? The endboss got a stun attack? Damn, he's a tricky one. Ah, but I also got a stun attack! And since red riding hood is too occupied with math to chase me with his dragon's breath, I'm not afraid to use it! "Simsala die!", I shout, while waving Hearto in his direction. Red riding hood grimaces and shakes his head, before turning his head towards me. "Your evil tricks don't work on me, demon!", he mocks me, as he aims his dragon at me again. Oh shit. I jump to the side again, but I'm too slow to avoid his fiery fire this time. The scorching heat is biting at my back, as my body leaps behind a bench. Though a hunter's corpse is cushioning my fall, I can't say that the landing was a soft one, as I can still feel the fiery pain gorging my back. It's at times like these that I wonder, what the hell is lighthouse doing? Why is it just me and math against the world again? Shouldn't lighthouse's fire burn even stronger than the one on my back? Also, the endboss got magic resistance? Are you fucking kidding me? Anyways, since the dragon stopped breathing at me for now, I carefully raise myself to observe the current situation on the other side of the bench. Dammit, moving myself stings like a swarm of angry killer bees. I still can't find the wooden one, but lighthouse reappeared. She and Nines are trying to encircle red riding hood by approaching him from different sides, but red riding hood is waving his dragon around like a sprinkler sprinkling a flower field, thereby forcefully keeping the two of them away from him. It would be a funny sight, if it weren't for all that fire. Just seeing it, makes me to turn into a father buying cigarettes: running away, never to return. But cheerleaders can't be fathers. And more importantly, running away won't get you any XP. Ah, but how to get close? My gaze wanders around, searching for something to throw at red riding hood or something… That's it!  
With one hand, I grab the collar of a hunted corpse, with the other I grab his belt, equipping the hunted hunter as a meat shield. My idea is either insane, or genius. Probably both. Let's see, if it holds up. "Leeeroy Jenkins!", I yell, as I run dead straight towards red riding hood's hell. F _i_ r _e_!Fi _Re_!FI _R_ E! _firefirefire_!FIref _i_ RE! Panic rolls like an avalanche over me, as the red hot death is surrounding me, but I suppress it and press forward. Suddenly, I collide with something and stumble, falling straight to the floor, together with my meat shield. And with red riding hood. Bingo? Ah, spotted it. I hastily grab the dragon's throat and rip it off. Ha, let's see if the dragon can still breath fire now!  
While I'm celebrating slaying my first dragon in my mind, an odd sensation washes over my body. The sensation of simultaneously being hot and cold. Right. Hunters have stakes… How embarrassing. Especially the part, where I'm making a stake-sandwich with another dead hunter. Ugh, just kill me, please.  
In the meantime, red riding hood continues to spew religious mumbo-jumbo and stuff happens, which is probably super-entertaining to watch, IF ONLY I COULD!  
But nooo, instead I'm forced to stare at the burned shoulder of my meat shield. Which is unfair, because I'm really thirsty right now. Well, at least red riding hood is too occupied with fighting my comrades to end my unlife for good. For now. Oh Caine… If regret wasn't for losers, I might regret my genius idea.  
Suddenly, something thaws in me, and my vision immediately turns red again. When the red recedes, I'm still facing the (now completely dry) staked hunter.  
As I look up, I still see the number and lighthouse fighting red riding hood. Oh my, you guys left the finishing move for me? I'm touched. And disappointed. I'd expected more of you. Well, at least red riding hood looks even redder now, with all of that blood oozing from his wounds.  
Speaking of looks, it's strangely difficult to look at red riding hood. It's as if he had a devilish halo, which blinds you, if you faze him directly. Is this another magic skill this endboss has? Moreover, a mental one? Mental attacks are MY forte! "SIMSALA FUCKIN DIE ALREADY, YOU BITCH!", I yell enraged, while waving Hearto in his direction again. Again, he just shakes his head slightly, but his holy magic cancels out for a moment. This is my chan- …. FUCK YOU JACK!  
"KILLSTEAL!", I shout at Jack enraged. The laughing one suddenly appeared behind the endboss and straightly ripped his heart out from behind with his bare bear claws.  
 _Where did he come from? What did he pack? Oh, laughing-way-too-much-Jack_ _.  
_ Shut up.  
I draw closer to them and approach the laughing one, to repeatedly call him thief, while tapping his chest with my index finger. Unfortunately, I didn't manage to make him feel bad about his misdeed even the slightest. Instead he's laughing by default. "You had your eyes set on his heart, kiddo? But man, you look like shit. You sure, you could've even gotten him in that state?" Excuse me? I look at the number and lighthouse. The number looks quite intact, except for his trigger hand, which is slightly burnt. As for lighthouse, a part of her T-shirt is singed, but the skin exposed underneath is only slightly red. Next, I look down at me.  
There's barely anything left from my skirt, exposing legs, which might as well belong to Freddy Krueger. As for my upper body, you could use my chest as a spyhole, as it is still hole-y. But still… "I'm the protagonist, am I not? This is MY revenge rampage, isn't it?", I pout. "Don't be selfish, kid. You're not the only one, who has a score to settle.", laughing Jack retorts, while grinning mockingly at me. Meanie. "Wow, just wow. You've been a useless staked corpse till now, yet you still dare to criticize Jack? Your brain should be donated to science.", lighthouse nags. Silly lighthouse, kine aren't allowed to study us.  
"Excuse me, but were you the one slaying the dragon, or was it me? I don't even remember seeing you, when red riding hood first appeared.", I counter. Surprisingly, lighthouse reacts with a cute way of shyness to my words instead of an annoying one, as she's avoiding my gaze. "Speaking of red riding hood's appearance… Where did the wooden one disappear to?", I ask lighthouse curiously. "Probably still outside, cooling her head.", lighthouse replies evasively. What's with her defensive attitude? "The red fear got to her pretty bad, huh? It's a weakness of our kind, no shame in that. At least not for young ones like you.", Nines comments. Somehow… Is he trying to console lighthouse, or something? "Speaking of the red fear…" Yes? Why are you looking at me? "Good job staying calm, kiddo. However, little piece of advice: take more care of yourself. Being a vampire doesn't mean you're immortal. You're lucky you survived that crazy stunt." Is that a compliment? I'll take that as a compliment. "Yeah, that's about enough recapping here, we still have some more jaws to relocate.", Jack interjects our conversation. "I haven't found any prison cells yet, but I bet they have a hidden basement here. You're good at finding stuff, aren't you, kiddo? How about snooping around for a bit, maybe you can find the entrance.", the laughing one says, as he turns to me. "Not to brag, but I won Olympic gold in hiding and seeking. So yeah, I'm pretty good at it."

It's my first time playing hide and seek with a cellar entrance, but it turns out that cellar entrances suck at hiding and even more at seeking. The entrance hid underneath a wooden miniature house, in the middle of the hall. I mean, a house in a house, as if that wouldn't be suspicious!  
Surprisingly, there are still some hunters left down there. I guess they didn't hear the last bang. Since my body still stings like a queen bee bitch, I leave the killing to the others and humbly stay at the back of our raiding group. I'm very flexible; as a cheerleader I'm also suited to being support for example. Finally, the last hunter lies down to sleep forever, and I can take the lead again, in searching for daddy's cell.  
Empty, empty, empty, face I don't recognize and therefore don't care about, empty, empty… So frustrating… Suddenly, there's only one cell left. Just one cell, that I haven't checked yet. I slowly turn to face it, and gasp. "Did you find him?", Nines asks me from behind, as the Anarchs catch up with me. I'm too shocked to reply.  
"… My condolence, kid.", Nines says and touches my shoulder, as he stares at the heap of ash on the floor. "IT'S A TREASURE MAP!", I squeal happily. "… What?", he asks me. I'm obviously referring the scratchy scribbles written with all over the wall. "Look, look there!", I exclaim excitedly, while gesturing towards the speech bubble of a cartoonish Baron Samedi in the middle of the back wall. 'My journey ends here, but yours has just begun!', it says. Aw, I'm getting a bit emotional…  
"You're not sad about your Sire's ashes, lying on the floor?", lighthouse asks me bitingly. "Eh, a few nights of rest and a few liters of blood, and he'll be fine.", I reply confidently. "… Your Sire's condition is fixed, kid. No one has ever recovered from being a pile of ash.", the laughing one says. We'll see…  
"Does anyone happen to have a lunchbox with you? Wait, hunters like to eat, don't they? There should be a kitchen somewhere here, right…" I ignore their gazes and turn around, to search this dungeon for a lunchbox to carry daddy in. While hunting for a lunchbox, I also don't forget to search red riding hood's corpse for useful items, once I come across him.  
Once I return to the last cell, the three – wait, four? – are still standing there, like the mindless NPC's that they are. The fourth one is so unimportant, I don't even recognize his face. While I continue to ignore the NPC's, I unlock the cell with red riding hood's key, sweep up daddy with my hands, place him in the cooking pot I found and thoroughly record daddy's map with red riding hood's dimensional device. "That's enough dungeon raiding for a night. Let's sail home?", I ask the others. The others look at each other wordlessly, before bidding me goodbye. Somehow, the atmosphere was strange? Oh well, who cares.


	21. Pirate gold

**Chapter 20: Pirate gold**

* * *

On the way out, I take one of those long, dark leather coats off from a staked hunter, to hide my nightmarish appearance from the easily frightened. My face poses no problem, as those foolish hunters were gentlemanly enough to go for my heart instead. Good for you, empress. Logic dictates, that I should return to my haven as soon as possible, to recuperate. But since when have I been taking orders from logic?! Instead, I decide to visit the dark mage. Ah, but since I'm coming unannounced, I need a present.  
"Where to?", cab man asks me. "To the red dot. I need something sweet and cool to gift to the dark one. And something thuggish to go for myself."  
It's strange. I thought I would have been frightened enough for a night by that flamethrower, but here I am, right in front of dark mage's door. Even though I had met him not too long ago. I knock on the door, and a dark-haired beauty opens. Right, dark mage also had a pet. We have so much in common! "Uhm, excuse me, you are?", she asks me timidly. "Your owner is my babysitter.", I explain to her. "… What?", she replies confused. "The dark mage and I are bound by the dark bond of friendship. I'm here for his surprise birthday party. Let me in, or he won't smile, and you know what it means, if he isn't happy, right?", I menacingly add. "An acquaintance of Mr. Galliano? Ah yes, please come in."  
I follow her inside and leave my present, smurf ice cream made out of real smurfs, somewhere on the floor. When I turn around, I see the dark beauty standing in the corner of the room, shivering. It's not that cold though? Why is she shivering? "Does the dark pet need a coat?", I ask her, trying to be friendly. As I open my long leather coat, she suddenly shrieks, and immediately after that panicky covers her mouth. What the hell. I was just trying to do my good deed for the night. "Ok, I get it. You don't want it.", I grumble, feeling a bit offended. Now then, time to implement that genius idea I just had. I search the kitchen for a spoon and then start to evenly distribute the ice cream on the floor next to the entrance, while giggling like a four-year-old. "Uhm, excuse me, but-", "What?", I interrupt the dark pet impatiently. I'm still a bit peeved about her not wanting to take my coat. "Nothing, I'm sorry!", she hastily replies. If it's nothing, then why bother me? Having finished distributing the whole package of ice cream on the floor, I inspect my work proudly, before taking a few steps back and sitting down on the floor, waiting for the dark one to come home.  
After a while, the door finally opens. "What the hell?", dark mage swears, as he's gliding over the floor, struggling to find his balance. "You're walking on thin ice cream, dark mage", I solemnly state. Dark mage is standing steady again, and he first glances at me, then at the ice cream on the floor and then at me again. "Care to explain why you smeared ice cream all over my floor?", he asks me calm and cold, just like ice cream! "Because I'm your friend! Surprise!", I reply enthusiastically. "That means you're one of the cool kids now.", I explain with a wink. "… I see, but I don't appreciate you visiting me unannounced and entering without my permission. I'll overlook it this time, but there will be consequences the next time." Well, that's a tame reaction. I expected him to be more like 'What the fuck? Oh my gosh, it's you!'. The dark mage steps off the ice cream layer and walks towards his blood cabinet, not carrying about the trails of ice cream he leaves behind. "I sent you an email with a picture of Gregory, by the way. Have you received it yet?" Who? Oh, yes, dark mage's little friend. "I was as busy as a bee tonight.", I reply honestly. The dark mage glances at my long leather coat. "With hunters, I presume? They're a pest, aren't they?"  
He turns around again, fetches a glass from the cabinet and fills it with the lovely red. "Indeed, annoying little creatures. They should've stayed in the dark ages, where they belong. Which reminds us, can we get a refill for our present? Dark mage's blood is simply the best!" The dark mage halts in his movement, sets down the blood carafe and turns around. "After you found my friend, I will give you some blood, as a reward.", he answers smilingly. Something about his smile feels off. Anyways, booh! Cheapskate!  
Suddenly, I have seen enough of him. "Even though I gave you such a nice surprise…", I mutter disappointed. "Since you're not playing host, I won't insist on playing guest. Toodeloo, dark ones.", I bid the dark mage and his pet goodbye. I'm no longer in the mood to fool around, so I decide to return to my haven.  
When rainbow saw me, she started screaming. Our pets are so alike!

After waking up the next night, I check my dimension device. Dark mage indeed sent me a picture of his friend. The picture man has black hair (medium-length) with silver strands, wears a black tight-fitted suit with vest and is stroking the cheek of some woman. Ah, the background looks familiar. The empire? Well, whatever. I'm not in the mood for playing hide and seek. My wounds from yesternight still haven't healed completely anyways. I take out my handy dimension device and look at the pictures of the treasure map left behind by daddy. Then I look at the empty wall across of me. Then at the pictures again. Does rainbow have a black marker?  
An hour later, I'm standing in front of my counterfeit treasure map, proudly admiring my masterpiece. There's a pagoda drawn in the center of the map, beneath a starry sky with the pointy ends of the roof yearning towards the stars. Two masks are drawn onto the front, one laughing and one crying, and there's a child sitting in the pagoda, on a pile of what could be either gold or dung. I lean towards the map to sniff at it. Smells like nothing, just like money. Empress says, that the pagoda-drawing reminds her of her favorite place in the palace gardens, so I assume it's a Chinese building. And given that it is surrounded by stars, I know exactly where to find it.

A while later we are sitting in cab man's cab, heading to Holly's Wood. Since rainbow said that my legs still frighten her, I'm wearing dark leggins in addition to my maid uniform. I considered inviting smiling Jack to hunt with me for treasures, since he's a pirate and that's what pirates do, but I'm unwilling to share the loot with him. We arrive at the Chinese theater and I step out of cab man's cab. The abandoned building in front of me still looks excitingly menacing. Satisfied with my treasure's location, I head inside. The interior looks even more dilapidated than the exterior, with all kinds of clutter and junk lying around.  
 _A heart of melted stone, victim of its own heat._  
Come to think of it, I felt like being watched the last time I walked by this place. I still feel watched, but then again, when do I not have that feeling? Since I'm the protagonist, it's only naturally that I'm the center of attention wherever I go. I'm starting to get used to it. I maneuver my feet between the pieces of rotting wood and broken stones towards the next room, where the play of masks was held. The big screen, which once contained those masks, is in tatters and the rows of chairs in front of it aren't rowing, no more.  
What has once been orderly, is now a chaotic, decaying mess. It's beautiful. I should go more treasure-hunting in abandoned ruins.  
Now then, if I were a little boy, where would I hide my gold? Maybe under this chair? Or that one? Or… headache? Wait a minute, I know what causes this type of piercing headache! I slump down on my knees and fall forward, like a sack of rice tumbling over in China. My face ends up looking to the side, while I pretend to be as dead as I should be.  
A while later, I hear footsteps slowly approaching me. Black leather shoes appear in my vision, connected to equally black suit pants. One of those shoes dares to poke my side, but I'm set on continuing this charade for a little while longer and ignore it. "I got her, boss.", a male voice sounds above me. Oh, you got me? Interesting. The shoes in front of me turn around and I wait a few steps, before slowly getting up, careful to not make any sound, before silently following him.  
Foolish little assassin, he didn't even notice my movements, until my fangs were buried deep in his neck. At that point, his resistance was futile of course. I won't let anyone get away with giving me a headshot, therefore I'm sucking him dry. Oh, he tastes exciting! Such a pity that he's already empty. My hands release him and the foolish little assassin's body slumps down onto the ground. I use my feet to turn him around, so that I can take a closer look at his face. Wheat-colored skin, black hair combed back, coupled with a black suit… A mafioso? He looks italic, also he shot me, so he must belong to the mafia. But why would they invite me to play with them? Oh well, since they asked so nicely, I won't refuse. Since they managed to tag me, it's my turn to chase them now, therefore I take the dimension device from the little mafioso, before continuing to search for the golden boy. I will play with them, but only when I have the time for that.  
The golden boy hid underneath the big, holey screen. I should have known that. I should have searched there first. To think I spent more than an hour looking for stupid golden boy… But the most disappointing thing is not the time I wasted finding the treasure, no, the most disappointing thing is the treasure itself: a wooden doll, painted golden, of course. I expected golden boy to be more… grand. When I spun the ends of golden boy into opposite directions, he broke apart and revealed his innards in the form of a letter:

 _Congratulations, you found me…. Or did you?! Hahaha. I'm a ninja. But don't worry, I'll give you a little reward for your effort, in the form of advice: Don't open it. Oh wait. Too late. I forgot, it was already opened. Heh, my bad. Then, how about a piece of information about your dear daddy instead? Sounds good? Ok, so here it goes: he dead. Ha, got you. You already knew that, didn't you? He was dead when you met him after all. Ah, but WHEN did you meet him, hm? But that's for another time and place. For real though, it's the queen's fault. Did you have a hunch it was her? You did, didn't you? Such a suspicious queen… But, who are you to compete with royalty? Ahh… Smell that? The smell of revolution? It's not ready yet, but one day we'll gobble it all up. I promise._

It was the queen?! The laughing one was right then… Anyways, next treasure! Let's see… A cartoon about a barman, who's sliding shots towards a group of cowboys. Furthermore, he's saying, 'That's the last one, boys.' Oh, that one is easy.

"Oh, lovely night, laughing one." "Uhm, sure. What you're doing here, kiddo?", he greets me back. "… Nothing.", I reply innocently and glance at the cartoon on my dimension device. There's an arrow pointing at a square hanging on the wall in the background. Hm… "Anyways, I was looking for you kiddo. We gotta have a talk.", laughing Jack says.  
"Yes? Why?", I ask him back. "Not here. Upstairs.", Jack replies and I follow him to the little VIP lounge upstairs, VIP standing for vampire important people.  
"Over here.", the laughing one further leads me to an empty table in the corner, away from the others. "What matters does the laughing one desire to dissect?", I ask him curiously. "Hey, I heard you offed the whole group of hunters in the church on your own? Hehehe, aren't you the big shot?", laughing Jack says.  
"Actually no, they killed themselves. I was merely watching the show.", I explain honestly. "Hm, sure you got nothing to do with their little fight?", he questions me with raised eyebrows and a provocative grin. "What tickled your curiosity, laughing one?", I ask him, perplexed as to why he's interrogating me.  
"Think, kiddo. That Henchman was so easily caught by hunters already smelt fishy to me before, but now that you demonstrated your strength…"  
"My awesomeness adds to the fishy smell?", I ask, while tilting my head.  
"Childer are weaker than their Sires. If you could deal with a whole group of hunters, why couldn't Henchman do it?", the laughing one retorts.  
"I'm beginning to see the painting you're drawing for me."  
"Disciplines are harder to use on hunters, not everyone can pull it off. Henchman was always good at keeping a low profile. He did work for that sissy prince from time to time, but he only did odd jobs, nothing political and nothing that would suggest he can pack a punch. In short, no one was really surprised that he couldn't deal with a group of hunters, no shame in that, but now that even his newborn Childe was able to do that… Really makes one wonder what generation he was. Anyways, it's clear now that he voluntarily let himself get caught.", the laughing one explains.  
"But why would he do that?", I ask confused.  
"That's the big question, isn't it? Letting yourself get caught by hunters on purpose doesn't make sense, unless you're either a) suicidal, or b) running from a greater threat." Yeah, he was running from a greater threat, the queen to be more precise. Golden boy's decoy already spoiled that. But running away by getting caught is such a weird method and resulted in his death anyways. That's just too dumb, I won't accept such an action from my daddy, unless there's a really, really, really good reason as to why getting staked by hunted hunters is the better option.  
"If it's the later, you should stay low as well. Before that threat decides it would sleep much better, if you were a heap of ash."  
' _To cut grass and pull out roots._ ', empress had mentioned something along those lines as well.  
"As for your little church-stunt, I convinced the others to stay quiet about it, you don't have to worry about word getting out about that."  
But what if I want fame and fortune, without caring about the consequences? You will just gloss over my glory, without my permission?!  
"My awesomeness shines bright like a starry night. I won't be able to escape the admiration of others forever.", I haughtily remind the laughing one.  
"You're free to do what you want, kiddo. But remember to keep your eyes open.", the laughing one replies carefreely.  
"Maybe. But why does the laughing one care about this many-me? Are you the long-lost lover of my Sire?"  
' _It's always suspicious, if someone affiliated with politics calls attention to something_ ', empress said before. She's one of the more talkative voices, unfortunately. Those annoying talkative voices…  
"Eh, I wasn't close to Henchman. He seemed like a good guy. A bit disinterested in politics, always staying neutral, but who could blame him? Politics are like heroin, only less exciting, yet better at ruining your li- uh unlife."  
I agree with the laughing one here, but that begs the question: if he already knows, why is he still taking politics? Is he addicted? Does he need help?  
"Just say no, dude.", I advise him.  
"Hahahaha. I wish I could, kid. But I'm not gonna let some bootlicking sleazeball with commanding-fetish boss me around, if you catch my drift. That Valois-scum isn't the first asshamster to waltz in here and act like he's all that. The last 'prince' was just like him, down to that slimy blond hair, and look what happened to him. Valois will face the same fate, sooner or later."  
"I can't see it. Where?", I ask the laughing one, while glancing around. No sight of a mirror showing the past. Did the laughing one just lie to me?  
"Right, not many are talking about him nowadays and why would they? He's long gone. Guess you don't know anything about our _dear prince_ Lacroix then? Ugh, just mentioning him makes me want to barf. Basically, he was the same as Valois, except a little dumber and easier to read. That's all you need to know about him, but if you want more info, talk to someone else. I'm not here to give history lessons."  
"That the laughing one hates dwelling on the past is widely known.", I assent knowingly.  
"Uh yeah. Anyways, you won't be able to escape the maelstrom of politics forever, kiddo. Sooner or later you'll have to choose a side. Better pick the right one."  
How did our conversation flow into this direction? Fascinating.  
"What if I refuse to go voting? Or choose to make my vote invalid by drawing a dick on the ballot?", I ask him.  
"Look kiddo, the way I see it, you're already part of the fight, a pawn on an invisible chessboard, you just didn't notice. Turning a blind eye to the battlefield, won't make the bullets disappear. You can try and stick your head into the sand, but don't be surprised if someone uses the opportunity to fuck you over."  
I love the words the laughing one uses, but I hate what they're saying.  
"What do I have to do with anything?", I ask him somewhat helpless.  
"I already told you, didn't I? Your Sire fell victim to a scheme. You think that that has nothing to do with you? Hah, don't kid yourself. The moment he sired you, you became involved in whatever it is, that is happening behind the scenes. After all, he did sire you just a moment before he got kidnapped. I wonder why? Maybe that 'map' he left for you has something to do with it?" The laughing one looks at me with raised eyebrows.  
"Map? What map? Oh, you mean the scribbles… No, they're just something fun to fasten the pace of time.", I reply evasively.  
Don't drag my new favorite pastime into your damned politics of the damned, dammit!  
"If you say so."  
"Then it must be so.", I complete Jack's sentence for him.  
"Are there any other matter left to dissect?", I ask the laughing one. This dissection is starting to tire me. I'm no doctor yet, after all.  
"Eh, I said my piece. The rest is up to you."  
Good, I take that as a no.  
"Choose juicier matters to dissect next time, or else…!", I threateningly bid him goodbye, while waving my finger in his face.  
I love the phrase 'or else…'. You don't have to come up with some horrific threat on your own when using it, the brain of your victim will do the creative part for you.  
Anyways, there was I? I glance at my dimension device. Oh yes, the treasure is hidden behind a poster or something. Hm, not behind this one, or that one, or there, or here… "What the fuck are you doing here, creeping around like that?", lighthouse suddenly asks me from behind. "Found it.", I exclaim and pull out the hidden envelope from behind a Chop Shopping poster. I open the envelope, only to find a normal picture inside, one of a tired office lady sitting in a restaurant and eating lunch with only her suitcase to keep her company. "Who?", she blurts out, as she looks at the picture in my hands. "Us, obviously.", I answer, while rolling my eyes. Lighthouse's eyes shot back to the picture in my hands, then to me, then back to the picture, then to me again. "You used to be fat?" Rude. "Father would NEVER allow us to be fat!", I retort condescendingly.  
"The prisoner's sky uniform merely hid my awesomeness, because father didn't like my femininity.", I explain to her. I don't know why I bother explaining that to her. She's a curvy building herself, she shouldn't need any explanation. Lighthouse snatches the picture from my hands and holds it beside me.  
"So, that's the effect of Malkav's curse, huh…", she mumbles. Is that a glimpse of pity I just saw flashing by? How dare she!  
"Yes, I admit! We used to be boring! Are you happy now?!", I yell at her angrily and snatch the picture back, before stomping away.  
Stupid Lighthouse, meddling in things that don't concern her. Anyways, a picture of mortal-me, taken without mortal-me's knowledge and then left for me by Daddy?  
Guess I was a planned after all, just like the laughing one thought.  
A smile unknowingly creeps onto my face, as I leave the Last Round.


	22. Intermission: Deb of Night

**Intermission: Deb of Night (1)**

* * *

 _Author's note: I really loved the radio show 'The Deb of night', which is why I wanted to include a few radio scenes. More might follow in the future, but I will no longer write them into the main story._

* * *

"Such a starry night, perfect for dreaming, isn't it? Everyone must have the sweetest dreams right now, except for you night owls, of course. Let's talk about dreams tonight, on 'The Deb of night'. I'm your lovely hostess and the only woman still willing to listen to yours truly at this late hour. Trouble falling asleep? Call me and tell me all about your dreams and aspirations. If you're new to the show and don't have my number yet, it's 323-KO5-KTRK. Caller one, care to share any dreams with us?"

"Hi Deb. I'm Jeff."

"Hi Jeff. And what have you been dreaming off lately, Jeff? …Jeff?"

"Nghh"

"I guess you're _busy_ , please only call me when you have the time and are not occupied with doing _something else_. Caller two, you're next."

"Good evening, Deb."

"Good evening. Tell me about your dreams, caller two."

"I'm dreaming of migrating to Sri Lanka."

"Sri Lanka? Interesting. Is there any particular reason you want to migrate to Sri Lanka?"

"I heard polygamous marriages are legal in Sri Lanka."

"I see. Are you currently in a polygamous relationship, caller two?"

"...No."

"Have you dated more than one person before, caller two?"

"…No."

"Are you currently in a relationship?"

"…No."

"But you have been in a relationship before, right?"

"…No."

"Well, you might consider collecting some experience in dating, especially in dating more than one person, before you move to Sri Lanka for that reason. Take it from me, relationships are a lot of work, especially if you have to please more than one person. Anyways, caller three, it's your turn."

"Hey, hey guys, I think I'm on the Deb of Night. Whoooow!"

"Sounds like you're already having a good time, caller three."

"Yeah, Deb, we got the stuff from Jeff, and let's just say: he got the good stuff. He's a bit creepy, but man, he's my favorite dealer, you know?"

"Alright, unfortunately, we don't endorse any illegal activities on our show, including drugs, so line two, it's your turn."

"Good night, Deb."

"Oh, a female caller! That's rare. And what are your dreams, caller four?"

"I dreamt that my dead father rose from his grave and was trying to eat me, and now I have trouble falling asleep."

"Oh dear, that sounds like an awful nightmare."

"Yeah, tell me about it. I mean, I don't want to get eaten by _him_. We didn't really get along when he was still alive, and his death kinda made him more likeable, but if he starts moving again, then that totally ruins it, you know? Like, why can't he just stay dead? Does he have to raise from the dead, just to annoy me? That's just too mean of him."

"I'm delighted you wanted to share something so intimate with me, but I think you should consider consulting someone more professional about those dreams."

"Oh no, I'm fine. I don't need any professional help. I just wanted to hear your calming voice."

"Well, I'm flattered. Hopefully, you can sleep soundly now. Line one, you're up next."

"Hi Deb."

"Could you speak a little louder, please? Don't worry, there's no need to be shy. I don't bite, I promise."

"Ok, Deb."

"So, caller, any special dreams you were having lately? Or maybe, there's a dream you've been chasing after?"

"Uhm… both. I… I'm dreaming of having a girlfriend. I'm, I'm not good at that… Talking to women and stuff… But I've been having this dream lately, of this girl and she just… She feels so real, Deb. Like she truly exists somewhere, and I, I just haven't met her yet. Do you, do you think she could exist, Deb?"

"I'm sorry caller, you lost me there. So, this girl you've been dreaming of, she's not someone you actually know?"

"No… I never met a girl like her. She's just… She's wonderful, Deb. I hope she exists. No, she must exist. But how can I find her, Deb? I yearn to meet her."

"Ah, isn't that what we all want? Finding the perfect partner? Someone, who's willing to share our burdens and who loves us unconditionally for who we are?  
But I'm afraid someone like that doesn't exist, caller. There's not that one person, that solely exists to be with us and make us happy. Don't waste your time chasing such a dream. Instead you should venture into the world, meet new people and with a little luck, you'll find someone, who won't be perfect, but at least they'll actually exist. Anyways, good luck caller, in finding that special someone. I hope you'll find them soon. Now then, I'd love to continue chatting with you night owls, but these companies want me to let you listen to their advertisements, and they're willing to pay for my rent in exchange. But don't cry, I promise I'll be back in a few minutes."


	23. The paper chase continues

**Chapter 21: The paper chase continues**

* * *

Playing hide and seek is getting boring, I played it enough tonight. But what to do? Of the three quests I have, three of them involve playing hide and seek: play hide and seek with the treasure map; play hide and seek with dark mage's friend; play hide and seek with the Italian mafia. What happened to the gold old 'bash so and so many heads in'- type of quest? That's the kind of quest I want to be doing now. Well, to be fair, if I find those Italian mobsters, who are targeting us for no reason, a lot of head-bashing will probably proceed to happen. But until then, it's going to be boring. Hm… Maybe I could fool around in the garden of the goddess?

Arriving at the goddess' gardens, I snoop around outside, instead of heading directly inside. I don't think I've explored these parts of the gardens yet. Oh my, what's happening there? I obfuscate and sneak closer towards the two juice bags hidden in a dark corner of the outside gardens. What are they doing? One of them is kneeling in front of the other and seems to be… eating the other? No, that can't be. Both are juice bags after all, not juice drinkers. I lean closer to the one kneeling and blow into her ear, immediately retracting my head afterwards. The juice bag squeaks and stops her movements, panicky looking around instead, searching for my presence. But despite kneeling beside me, poor little juice bag is unable to see me. I'm getting better at obfuscating. "Why did you stop?", the other juice bag asks, sounding a tad dissatisfied.  
"There- there was something blowing in my ear!", she replies frightened. "That's just the wind.", juice bag two replies, while trying to poke juice bag one. What a weird thing to do. "Stop that! That's it, I'm outta here, go suck yourself.", juice bag one retorts annoyed, while standing up and organizing her clothes.  
"Hey, finish what you started!", juice bag two says to juice bag's one back, but that doesn't stop her from leaving. "Dammit.", juice bag two replies, as he lights himself a cigarette. He's not copying juice bag one in organizing his clothes, instead he takes a puff, holding his cigarette in one hand, while the other wanders downwards.  
Juice bag one is out of sight, so it's time for me to substitute for her. Before juice bag two can finish what juice bag one started, I jump him and bury my fangs in his neck. That's how you suck a juice bag, juice bag one! Ah, he tastes like sweetest dissatisfaction. I like that taste. In contrast to Bee, who's whining like a haunted house. All she ever does is whining, how annoying. After I had my fill, I jump down from him and take another look at my dozing prey. He's such a funny sight that I consider immortalizing it, by taking pictures with my dimension device, but in the end, I decide against it. Bee said that Wendy might see the pictures if I take them, and that she should under no circumstances see something like that, for whatever reason. I head back to the main street, when my dimension device suddenly rings.  
"You called the L.A. center of art therapy for dogs, if you wish to register your dog for a try-out session, please press [1], if you wish to book additional sessions, please press [2], if you wish to press charges for fraud, please press [the red telephone button].", I answer my dimensional device in my most-robotic-sounding voice. As a reply, the caller hangs up. I guess he wanted to press charges for fraud… Unbelievable, our praxis is a very reputable one! A moment later, my dimension device rings again. "Good evening, here's Trixie from spankmedaddy, how may I help you?", I answer the phone again. "… Miss Martel, please head to the prince's office, prince Valois wishes to see you.", a calm, deep voice responds. Who? Well, whatever. If my darling prince wishes to see me, I'll oblige.  
"Alright, whatever you want, sweetie. But back entrance costs extra." I hang up and start walking towards Valois corporation.

"You're late, Miss Martel.", dolphin greets me, as soon as I step through his office. "I'm not like you, dolphin prince. I can't swim, I have to walk with my own feet and I can only walk this fast.", I reply calmly. "It seems you and some Anarchs took care of the hunter problem?", dolphin prince inquires calmly. His mood is hard to read currently. "Hm… We did hunt a few hunted hunters, yes? Don't tell me… They were a protected species? I didn't mean to break the law, I'm just a passionate hunter.", I try to explain myself. "No, of course not. I'm thankful you took care of them. The city should be a much safer place for us kindred now, you have my gratitude. I naturally would've send some backup for you, if you had requested it.", Dolphy replies. "Ah yes, but the hunt is more fun with less hunters.", I repeat what the laughing one told me. "Well, seeing that none of you died, I guess backup wasn't needed anyways. Although, it seems a few hunters escaped."  
"Escaped prey? Impossible.", I object. "I'm afraid not. But feel free to dispose of them, should you come across them. But before that, here.", he says and hands me a thick envelope, filled to the brim with funny money. "This is?", I ask him confused. "Your reward. For the excellent work you've done, of course.", he explains with a smile.  
As expected, my glory shines too bright, a mere blanket can't cover it up. "However, I would appreciate it, if you would inform me, before making a move next time. I respect it of course, if you don't want to work with other kindred and I'm willing to offer you supply for future ventures, should the need arise. You just need to email me what you need and for what purpose, I'll see to the rest." Has someone dumped a pot of honey over the dolphin prince? Why is he so sweet to me? "Uh, I love supply.", I whisper sweetly. "Anyways, it seems you're even more capable than I expected. I'm certain you'll achieve great things in the future." Aw, me too. "If you continue to excel, I'll consider giving you an official position in my court.", dolphin prince adds. "Well then, that's all, unless you have further questions?" I shake my head. "Excellent. Good evening, Miss Martel." And with this, I'm dismissed.

I seem oddly popular tonight. Popular with politicians. There's nothing good about being popular with politicians. It's the one kind of popularity you don't want to have. Well, that and popularity among the hunted ones, no one wants to be popular among such losers. If I had to say, who I wanted to be adored from in particular, it would be the dark mage. And number nine. And cab man. Those three are my favorites, because they're the dark, mysterious, brooding type. Speaking of dark mage, I haven't spoken to him tonight. "Yes?", I hear dark mage's voice through my dimension device. "Customer service, how may I-"  
"What is it, Adeline?", dark mage interrupts me. "Oh nothing, I just-", I pause and look down. Something's touching my feet. A vine? "I just wanted to-", I repeat, while trying to shake the vine off. "Geez, fuck off.", I curse at the vine, which is wrapping itself around my foot. "Adeline?", dark mage asks confused. The asphalt cracks open, and more and more vines spring up, wrapping around my legs and binding me. What the fuck is this? I struggle to free myself, but the vines are gripping me too tightly, I can barely move. "Sunshine", I curse and reach down to the vines growing around my hips to yank them off, but instead they sprout more branches, capturing my hand. Damn, I hate plants. So annoying. While trying to unshackle my hand from the vines, my other hand also gets wrapped by a branch, which sneakily climbed on my back. A bad feeling creeps up my back. Slowly, I turn my head to look behind me. A huge flower is looming over me, with red petals turning yellow towards the center. Speaking of the center of the flower, is it just me, or does that look like long, razor-sharp teeth? Do flowers have circular mouths? What kind of flower is this? The razor-sharp teeth expand, exposing the fleshy inside of the flower and a screeching noise resounds, causing me a headache. Ok, that's it. I'm getting outta here. "Go to seed, you fucking weed!", I chant, while forcing my bound hands into kamehameha-position. Energy condenses between my hands, forming a weed-whaking beam aimed at the menacing flower-head. The flower sways however, dodging my beam in the last moment, before suddenly hammering down on me, swallowing me whole.

Mhmm… Heavy… But warm… Smells delicious… "Finally awake, master?", someone tasty asks me. "Five more minutes.", I reply with a yawn. Rainbow tightens her embrace, but obediently stays quiet. "Ok, enough. You make me thirsty, my little candy. But I can't yet lick you again, now can I?", I softly admonish her and free myself from her hug. "I've been taking blood supplements for you, master. You can have a bite, if you want, I can take that." Such a sweet pet. "No… I don't like the bland taste of anemia.", I reply, while stroking her cheek. Anyways, we're back, huh? Who was it that brought us home? … What, no one's answering us? You're not ignoring me, are you? _I've been napping, I don't know. But when is nap time finally over? I want to play! I want to play!_ Alright. You can play, while we take a bath, Wendy. Ok? _Yeii! Bath time!_ I ignore the rest of Wendy's celebration and let her take over. She's a strange child, isn't she? Most children hate taking baths.  
Once we're prim and proper, I decide to head to the Asylum, to let the others loose for a short while and to discuss something with my favorite school girl. "Mint ice, it's you! You finally came to see me again? What a pleasant surprise.", Jeanette purrs upon seeing me. "Yes, it's me, naughty one.", I return the greeting. "How odd to meet you, then I was just about to head out to seek fun. Now that you're here, my search has come to a premature end. Wanna come upstairs and see my room?" Oh, I sure want to ride that elevator. "What did the bride say to the groom? I do!", I reply smiling. I follow Jeanette into the elevator, and a few minutes later, into a room broken into halves by a room divider. A big, fluffy, pink bed is sleeping in the back half, waiting to be pounced upon, while the front half is an office, seeping of boredom. "And here we are. So, what is it you want to play?", Jeanette asks me suggestively, while hoping onto the bed. "I came to seek your guidance. You're an expert about swallowing, aren't you? I keep getting eaten, you see…", I explain to her my problem without further ado. "Oh, lucky you. I wish someone would eat me out. It has been a while, since I was on the receiving end, you know? This is an offer, in case you want to try giving for a change." Wait, are we talking about the same thing here? "Giving what?", I ask confused. "Giving head, of course.", Jeanette replies. "Since the naughty one desires heads, I will gladly bring her those of my enemies.", I assent her request. Finally, a good old smash and bash quest. "Wait, are we talking about the same thing here?", Jeanette asks me. "I don't know, are we?", I reply. We look at each other for a moment and then start to giggle.  
"Now, let's start from the beginning: Who dares to nibble my sweet mint ice?", Jeanette asks. "Oh, you know, the common gluttons, like oversized carnivorous plants, or krakens…", I answer nonchalantly. "You got it bad, don't you? With your mind playing tricks on you, you don't know what's real and what isn't anymore?", Jeanette asks giggling. "I'm the master of disaster, but… It does get confusing from time to time.", I admit reluctantly. "Just learn to deal with it. As a Malkavian, your life will never become sane. But that makes it exciting, doesn't it?" I nod. It certainly does. "But enough talking already. Why don't you come here and go diving for my pearl?", Jeanette purrs.  
Hm, should I accept?  
 _NO! OH, HELL NO! DON'T YOU DARE!_  
Ugh, too bothersome. "I'd love to, but I'm as busy as a bee. Toodeloo, naughty one.", I dejectedly bid her goodbye.

Once I'm out of the madhouse, I look at the treasure map on my dimension device. The cartoon, which lead me to my last treasure, is drawn on the right side of the bottom part. The right corner on the other hand is isolated from the rest of the treasure map by a mountain range. Down the mountains a town is drawn. The town down the mountains… Downtown. Then the other treasures in this corner are also located in Downtown? Apart from the cartoon, there's also a circle of hands surrounding a heart. I have no idea what this means. There's something drawn onto the heart, but I'm not sure what it's supposed to be. Wait, those hands are left hands. Or in other words, second hands! This means… It's time to go shopping!

I had some trouble finding this shop of second hands, since it feels like an eternity ago that the dark mage showed me this place, but in the end, here I am. Ah yes, it looks just as run-down as I remembered. Inside, the ugly, shy vampie-pet greets me. Ah yes, just as ugly as I remembered it. Comparing my pet to this one is like comparing a 3-star buffet to a hotdog lying on the floor of a public toilet. "Say, little hottie doggie, what lies in the hearts of the second hands?", I ask him. "What? What are you talking about, Ma'am?", he counter-asks warily. Rude. "It's Lady Adeline the Awesome One for you.", I correct him haughtily. "Look lady, I don't speak Malkavian. I don't know what you want me to help you with.", vampie-pet replies. "The heart, I want the heart.", I explain annoyed. Such a stupid vampie-pet. "What heart?" Ugh, fine. I look for it myself.  
Dammit, I can't find it. The only hearts I could find, were merely painted and stitched ones on clothes. Maybe, I got the location wrong? My gaze wanders to the idiot pet standing behind the register. Maybe, he hid the heart and was just playing the fool? My eyes narrow and I crouch down to hide behind a clothing stand filled with raincoats. Vampie-pet doesn't pay any attention to me and is instead playing with his dimension device. I take out my own dimension device and sneakily snap a snapshot of the snotty brat. Like pokemon, I'll have my pet deal with the pet of whoever was crazy enough to give that guy their blood, instead of dealing with him myself.

Next treasure. There's a cross in the Downtown corner of the map, trapped in a spider web. I've seen this type of cross on hospitals. And I happen to know about a hospital in the down town that had a problem with a spider infestation in the past. The one, where the spider shot her little movie. Finding the hospital is not a problem, but the building is huge and full of mess. How am I ever going to find my treasure? – I was going to ask myself, but once inside I immediately spot a graffiti of my name on the wall. Underneath my name is a sticker, in the form of a red circle with a white cross on it. Looking down, there's another sticker on the floor. And another. And another. I simply follow the trail of stickers and after crawling through all sorts of holes and over all sorts of junk, I finally arrive somewhere deep inside the basement. The last sticker is on a box, which is tapped onto the ceiling of a clinical bed for the dead. I carefully detach it and crawl out of the bed for the dead. Taking a closer look at it, it's not a normal box, but one of those fancy puzzle boxes. I always wanted one of those, I love puzzles. I stuff the box in my bag and leave the creepy hospital.

Next treasure! The last treasure in Downtown is in a castle. Oh, that one is easy. The castle is where the Queen resides, of course. But I'm an enemy of the crown, am I not? How could I infiltrate the castle… Ah, wait. I'm a loyal subject of the crown prince Dolphy. The one enemy royals can't keep out their castles, is their own family. Them, and their subjects. Therefore, it's safe to go. That being said, the empire sure is huge. Don't tell me, if have to search every nook and cranny of this empire? I don't even know what it looks like, how am I ever going to find the treasure? Unless… The treasure is already found? Nope, not among Lost&Found stuff. Dammit. Let's see, where would I hide, if I was a present of Henchman… Wait, I'm already a present of his, for the world of the dead. And as such, I know that Daddy liked… cozy places? Like bars? I mean, I met him in a bar, in my prior life, right? I sneak out of the personal-only-room and head towards the sound of clinking glasses. Ah yes, the warm, red carpet, the classy, wooden furniture and… Ms. Graufuchs? Or Foxy? They're hard to keep apart. She's wearing all-white, like Foxy did when I met her, but she doesn't look like a dentist and more like someone, who actually belongs here. Whoever it is, she's sitting at one of those tiny tables with a glass of yuck in front of her, talking to a more delicious looking drink. Its vintage, well, I prefer my drinks young, but hey, whatever moistens your throat. I inconspicuously inch closer to the two, to get clues on whether she's fix&foxi or old hag. "But enough about me, tell me more about yourself, Dr. Brown. I heard you're writing a book?", unknown asks. "Ah yes. It's about the degeneration of the mental health of sane female occupants in asylums during the 18th century, in particular the practice of selling the hair of the patients and other methods used for funding the asylums to the detriment of its inhabitants.", delicious drink explains in a self-important manner. "Interesting.", unknown replies with a dangerous glint in her eyes. I see, it's Foxy hunting for hair. Foxy's eyes suddenly strain from her prey towards us. "Yo.", I mouth silently, while giving her a playful salute. Foxy lowers her head slightly, indicating an inconspicuous nod, before turning her attention to her drink again. I also don't bother paying her more attention and continue sneaking through the little bar room. I thought my obfuscation would be flawless, but I guess Malkavian eyes are still too hard to fool for me. After unsuccessfully searching every nook of the bar room, I finally found something in a cranny. A letter, stuck underneath a table to stabilize it.

 _In a kingdom, down below,_

 _sleeps a princess, not yet a queen,_

 _with grandeur not just for show,_

 _not as useless as some might deem,_

 _for she, just by sleeping on pillows,_

 _causes storm, causes billows._

 _This little princess has a treasure,_

 _that causes her intense pleasure,_

 _yet is unable to truly satisfy the little princess_

 _for what she seeks is eternal power, nothing less._

' _But what treasure she already has?',_

 _my dear Childe you may ask._

 _It's a treacherous heart and a heart of treason,_

 _So, beware of the princess with good reason,_

 _for she will neither hesitate nor waver,_

 _to haunt you to the very end,_

 _hunt the precious damned,_

 _with her hidden eyes in EVERY shelter._

 _The key to the first lock is: infanta  
the one for the second lock is: il_pomo_d'oro_

Oh wow. What a shitty poem. I'm embarrassed for you, Daddy. The last two lines don't even rhyme! And I mean, what is it even about? I'll just pretend I never read that. Walking outside the empire hotel, I take a lighter out of my bag and ignite the piece of shit. Believe me Daddy, I'm doing you and the world a favor. You're simply not cut out to be a poet, but that's ok.

Back in my haven, I played around with the puzzle box. I managed to solve the puzzle and found a weirdly shaped knife inside. Rainbow says, it looks like an ankh. I told her to just let it out, if she has to sneeze. I don't know about ankh's or whatever, but I do love knives!


	24. Intermission: Thoughts of a prince

**Intermission: Thoughts of a prince**

* * *

 _Author's note: The sheriff is usually addressed as shadow by Adeline. He doesn't appear often and his position was never mentioned, which is why I'm explaining it here. And yes, I shamelessly used him for some exposition, even though talkative is NOT part of his character description._

* * *

After Miss Martel left, the smiling expression on Valois' face also vanishes and he resumes typing his report about the current hunter population in Los Angeles.  
"What is it you want to ask?", Henry finally asks his sheriff, who's standing behind him.  
"Why reward her?", the sheriff immediately replies questioningly.  
"How could I not? She did a great deed for the kindred of this city." Henry pauses his typing. "Furthermore, her loyalties aren't set yet.", he adds, before continuing to type. "She seems drawn in by Nines.", his sheriff remarks, causing Henry to pause again.  
"She also seems to like Mr. Galliano, but Mr. Rodriguez certainly is troublesome.", Henry assents with a sigh. "He's quite talented in winning people over. Especially the young kindred, they just love him.", he adds, loathing resonating in his voice, before continuing complacently, "However, I wonder how he'll treat her, now that she received her payment from me? It seems Mr. Rodriguez got betrayed before, is he still willing to trust a neonate receiving their salary from the Camarilla? Either way, I won't let them claim the victory over the hunters all to themselves."  
"Claiming victory?", the sheriff asks, a hint of confusion in his voice.  
"It was after all my dear new agent, who did most of the work.", Henry explains with a grin.  
"I see. But is it enough to draw her to our side?", the sheriff asks doubtfully.  
"You sound as if I hadn't poached someone before. Which is ironic, coming from you.", Henry replies nonchalantly with a small smile.  
The corners of the sheriff's lips are also slightly raised, revealing a rare smile.  
"Malkavians are hard to read and she's no exception to that rule. I don't think that baiting her with a little bit of money will be enough to make her loyal to me, but if the Anarchs distrust her, she might have no other choice than to choose my side. I'd prefer it of course, if I could get her fully loyal to me, given the talent she has shown till now, but I'll make do with whatever I can get.", prince Valois explains, before continuing to type is report.  
"Is she worth the effort?", the sheriff follows up yet again. From what the sheriff perceived, Miss Martel seems to have a talent for investigation, but it's not like Valois has no one else suited for investigation working for him. Furthermore, Miss Martel is hard to deal with, due to her madness. Working with Malkavians tends to be troublesome, as they're hard to read. Also, if even communication is a hurdle, how could the collaboration succeed?  
"As a ruler, I'm always in demand for competent people. Besides, I'm not willing to let anyone opposing me gain more support. Even if she turns out to be useless, I won't risk letting someone talented be swayed by the opposition.", Henry replies.  
"Hm.", the sheriff assents wordlessly. Indeed, Henry Valois' position isn't very stable yet. Though they achieved a ceasefire with the Anarchs, the Anarch movement has a strong hold in the city and it's only a matter of time, before another rebellion emerges. Furthermore, there's a significant amount of kindred in their own faction lacking deeper loyalties, who will change their stance according to the current, kissing up to whoever they perceive as the stronger party. Henry managed to prevail over Miss Harper and won the position of prince, but that doesn't mean Miss Harper has given up, nor does it mean that she's no longer a threat. Some in the Camarilla still support her claim for power and would push for Henry's abdication, should he show the slightest hint of weakness. Given the current situation, being perceived as powerful and as a capable ruler is in fact more important for Henry to keep his position than actual ability is.  
Both remain quiet and in deep thought, as only the sound of typing continues to resonate in the prince's office.


	25. Pillow princess' private place

**Chapter 22: Pillow princess' private place**

* * *

Like a bad pop song, Daddy's poem is stuck in my head. Are you haunting me, because I burnt you? Fire is supposed to cleanse, dammit. I guess I need some exorcism. But how does one exorcise a poem? How does one exorcise in general? I've never done that before. But some voice tells me my favorite schoolgirl might have some experience with that.  
"What tastes like eight o'clock is already over?"  
"Mint ice, is that you? Why are you calling? Did you want to hear my voice? Tell me you did, even if you didn't.", Jeanette replies via dimension device in her usual flirty tone of voice. "Oh, I desperately wanted to hear your voice explaining to me how to exorcise.", I answer seductively.  
"Exorcise? You have problem with a wrath, or something?", she asks me leisurely.  
"Worse. A po- pop song. A pop song.", I reply. It's better if she knows less about the possible existence of that wretched poem.  
"Don't you exorcize music by dancing? That's how I always do it. Speaking of dancing, why don't you come over to my club and shake your stress away? I'm feeling a bit lonely tonight…"  
Awww. "I'd love to. But daddy doesn't allow me to go, before I have finished my boring chores.", I decline dejectedly.  
"Fine. Be a bore then.", Jeanette sighs coquettishly.  
"Wait… About that exorcizing thing, how do you exorcize boiling anger?"  
"You mean a wrath? No idea, I'm not into that stuff. I only know that you need a personal item of the wrath for the exorcism to work. You should ask Therese if you want to know more. She dealt with a wrath before. I think she knows someone, who can do that kind of stuff. Before asking her, be warned though. Therese doesn't do charity. Well, no true charity at least."  
I need a personal item of what's haunting me? Like what? A pillow of the sleeping princess? Or the pleasure-causing treasure? I bid my favorite schoolgirl goodbye, after promising to come play with her sometime in the following nights. Next stop: The empire again. Ugh. But before that, let's get a thug to go.

Arriving in the empire, I come across someone unexpected. "Wooden one.", I greet her surprised. Wooden Tara also spots me.  
"Oh, it's you.", she replies a little flustered.  
"Are you here to hunt for sweet pleasure, wooden one?", I ask her curiously. I'm surprised the wooden one is gutsy enough to poach prey from Queen's hunting patch. Aren't rebels supposed to stay far away from royalty?  
"What? Ah yes, I'm-", Tara looks warily around, checking if no one is listening in on us, before continuing, "I was just hunting for a drink. I'd love to stay and chat, but I must go, or I'll be late for rehearsal."  
"Rehearing Sal?", I ask, tilting my head.  
"Band practice. I'm a singer. Why don't you come to our next gig? We're playing in Hollywood next week, in The Golden Bridge Bar."  
A singing Toreador? Oh wow, how original… not.  
"Ohhh, I'd loooove to, but I made enemies with the trolls last week, I don't dare to set foot into their turf.", I politely decline.  
"Oh, uhm… too bad. Ah, I have to hurry now… Bye!"  
I wave the wooden one goodbye and watch, as she hurries away.  
Anyways, up we go! Because knowing the Queen, her quarters will be as close to the sky as possible. To reach the top, a normal teleportation room is not enough, a special one is needed. Like the one hidden in the private area. Inside, I touch all the numbers, and crouch down to obfuscate. After a long and raggedly ride, I finally arrive. The doors of the teleportation room open towards the highest floor of the empire hotel, revealing the royal waiting room. Waiting room, because guards are waiting in it, waiting for something to happen. Apparently, waiting made them so desperately bored, that even an empty elevator opening its doors entertains them. How pitiful. I pass by the guard, who's nervously inspecting the teleportation room with his gun, and head towards the big door leading into Queen's quarters. I bewitch the guard standing next to it with my sin-bin-magic-wand, pickpocket a magic card from his pocket and use it to pick the lock barring my way into the Queen's private quarters.  
My first impression of the Queen's quarters can only be described with one word: disappointing. I could forgive the light-bright appearance of the waiting room, it matches the ice grey uniform of the guards after all, but I can't forgive the same white opulence appearing in her inner quarters as well. We're vampires, goddammit! Bright-light is not a fitting theme for a vampire lair, how often do I have to repeat this? How come I, the newbie, must teach those old ones? Despite my disappointment, I curiously continue exploring her majesty's private place.  
What? You thought I'd say 'parts' instead of 'place'? You dirty-minded voice.  
I come across several rooms, the useless royal kitchen and a bathing room, from which the dabble-babble of water resounds, among others, but no, I repeat, NO coffin room. What the hell, queen? What the hell. It's not like you're lacking rooms. How can you have a bedroom but no coffin room, and yet, still call yourself a vampire? At first, I thought her bedroom would just be a cover for her coffin room, but nope. No matter how much I searched, I couldn't find a coffin in it. What I did find, was a pleasure-causing treasure, hidden underneath her huge, fluffy pillows. The bulky pillows are inconvenient to steal due to their size, but this treasure fits right into my wand holder. Mission accomplished.  
On my way back to the elevator, I pass one of the rooms I haven't entered yet. This one is locked. No matter how I look at it, this is a treasure cave, right? It even requires a magic code to open, just like in those fairytales! I may have completed my goal, but I wouldn't mind snatching more treasures from the Queen. And since I have diligently studied my fairytales, I already know how to break into this treasure cave. Full of excitement, I enter the magic number 19-5-19-1-13-5… but the doors stubbornly stay shut. The hell! Apparently, the mental capacity of this cave is not high enough to understand more than 4 digits at a time. How am I supposed to spell 'sesame' with only four digits? Isn't this cave a little too mentally challenged? Or maybe, the magic code required is not 'sesame'? Why are you always lying, Scheherazade? The sound of approaching steps interrupts my thoughts, before I can try more numbers.  
Turning around, I see a guard roaming through the corridor with his gun raised.  
…Not that kind of gun, you naughty voice. Also, shut up.  
A lost guard, here? I retreat and warily watch the wary warden. Unfortunately, he seems to like the door, as he decided to continue waiting there. Waiting, worrying, warding, that's all those guys know how to do. I reluctantly give up on raiding the treasure cave for now and sneak back to the living room, while avoiding getting too close to the warding guardian. Once in the living room, I spot another lost guard. And another. And another.  
What's this, a convention for lost guards? Or just an anonymous meeting of guards with paranoia? Either way, the disgruntled Queen stands out like a sore thump with her weird white terry-cloth outfit. Her look reminds me of a poodle. Fashion is weird. I decide that I don't want to be part of this weird whatever and head for the exit. It's a pity that I couldn't raid her treasure cave, but I've completed what I came to do, so I'm satisfied nonetheless.  
… No, I wasn't trying to raid that kind of treasure cave. Seriously though, shut up, naughty voice. Where did you come from anyways? You weren't there when I was born.

All that obfuscating made me thirsty, so I go to that cozy room next, to chat up a snack. I sit down at the bar and order a Bloody Mary, extra bloody of course, before checking out the vitae collection sitting in front of it. Stiff businessman, fat business man, boring business man… oh, lady! Wait a minute, she seems familiar. Now, where have I seen this little morsel… Let's find out!  
"Hey… was it difficult?", I ask her full of sincere concern, while leaning onto the counter beside her.  
"What?", she asks back confused.  
"To escape from my dreams and crash into cruel reality.", I reply suggestively with a wink.  
To my disappointment, she just looks at me weirdly for a moment, before deciding to ignore me. Dammit, even though I used my best pick up line.  
"Oh come on, don't put on an act with me. I know you're the type that likes to be bitten and I happen to be the type that likes to bite." And just in time, my Bloody Mary arrives in front of me.  
"I don't know what you're talking about. Please leave me alone.", she objects firmly.  
Ugh, fine! I take my bloody Bloody Mary and walk to the other end of the bar counter. You might have won this battle, little morsel, but the war isn't over yet. After a while, my mysterious morsel dejectedly leaves the bar after another drink and I quietly follow her outside, like the creep I aspire to be.  
After stalking her for a while, she finally enters an empty back alley and I hurriedly close up on her, violently throwing my wallet at her back, while yelling, "Excuse me, Miss? I think you lost something. Is that your wallet?" Little morsel halts and turns around.  
"What? You again!", she replies first confused then fearful. Why are you acting so surprised? Don't tell me, you cheated on me?! With another stalker?!  
"I know our relationship was short-lived, but still… How could you!", I ask her accusingly with teary eyes.  
"What do you want from me? I warn you, I'm already taken by one of your kind, don't you dare touch me!"  
The confused kitten suddenly turned into a ferocious cat.  
"You are? Prove it. Show me your master.", I challenge her.  
"A- alright. Don't believe me? I got a picture of him.", she retorts, trying to act tough.  
I curiously take a look at the picture on her dimension device. Yep, that's my target alright.  
"I don't believe you. Show me your master in the flesh! Unless… he doesn't want you anymore?", I taunt her.  
"He still wants me! He does. He's just a bit busy currently.", she replies evasively.  
"Busy? Busy with what? Busy where? Busy avoiding you?", I question her sarcastically.  
"No… I don't know what he's doing, but he's not avoiding me!", she retorts angrily.  
"Really? Then where, oh where is he?!"  
"I don't know! I don't know where he is, ok? Leave me alone!", she yells back.  
"Liar liar, pants on fire!", I reply smugly.  
"AH, AHHH, NO! AAH Make it stop! AUGH! Make it stop! AHH! Please!" I watch slightly amused, as she tries to put out the imaginary flames on her trousers, while yelling in panic.  
"Truthful tongue, fire gone.", I remind her amiably.  
"Monastery! Aah! He, he said he'd go to some monastery or something, I don't know which… ", little morsel confesses stammering, only to sigh in relief a moment later.  
"Since you quenched my burning curiosity, I'll let you go. However, don't forget to forget me! You hear me? You won't get away as easily as tonight, if you don't remember to not remember me.", I warn her menacingly, before grabbing my wallet and walking away.  
Finally, I'm one step closer to getting dark mage's sweet juice.  
Oh, you dirty voice, I'm obviously talking about his vitae, not that other juice.  
I hope the dark mage is quick in delivering his promise. The chitchat with little morsel over there made my tongue go dry, it could use some wateri-, no bloodening. Water is disgusting.

Anyways, my target is hiding in a monastery… What a weird place to be hiding in for a vampire. Is my target retarded? I ask cab man about monasteries in and around the city of angels and apparently there are a few. However, it's safe to assume that retarded target can only enter an abandoned monastery, since those holier-than-thou people are quite repelling, which limits my search to one monastery, the one belonging to Leopold. Jackpot?  
This is too easy. But hey, braindead missions are also valuable. They'll still give you XP after all.  
The abandoned monastery mentioned by cab man is in the outskirts of LA, on top of a rough and tough cliff. While on the way, I dig information from cab man about this Leopold-guy. From what I could gather, Leopold's second name was Christian, and he was one of those annoying guys that are really into crosses. But one day he got into a disagreement with his cross, because his cross spoke too much French, and then he got bitten by a dog. I would also get angry, if a cross tried to speak French with me. French is the language of posers!  
Anyways, after arriving cab man shows me the way and I faithfully follow his words up the slope, where I indeed find an abandoned building, stained with the stench of holiness. Disgusting. While approaching, I obfuscate just in case, before quietly entering through one of the smaller doors. Walls sprouting spiderwebs, a wooden ramshackle shelf with the remains of paper rolls, a few wooden benches spread chaotically over the floor… This place got this castle-ruin-vibe, I love it. Additionally, you can hear the muttering of a madman, which really underlines the atmosphere. Crouching deeper inside, a small altar comes into sight, with the madman standing behind it.  
Is that my retarded target? Why is he muttering this religious mumbo jumbo?  
 _It's Latin.  
_ It's madness!  
Anyways, I'm not going to disturb him in his intense reading session, he already seems to be too disturbed as it is. I quietly leave Leopold's monastery, before calling my babysitter to deliver the good news.  
"Yes?"  
"Good evening, dear customer. Apologies for bothering you, but we from the babyseats agency are very interested in our customers' opinion and therefore want to know, how satisfied are you with the current baby you're sitting on?"  
"… What is it, Adeline?", a grumpy dark mage replies.  
"Please provide us with a feedback about the baby you're currently sitting on, dear customer. Is it the best baby you ever sat on? In case it is, just say yes, or stay silent."  
No reply, just an annoyed sigh.  
"We're happy you're satisfied with our service. Furthermore, as thanks for your feedback and in exchange for further payment, we'd like to offer you a small present. Are you interested, dear customer?"  
"… What is it, Adeline?", dark mage repeats slightly annoyed.  
"A name. First name: Leopold, second name: Christian, last name: monastery. You owe us blood, dark one. And praise. One can never have enough praise.", I reply.  
"I see. Good job. I have something to take care of first, you'll get your blood tomorrow night."  
I can hear a slight smile in dark mage's voice, but it's not enough to overshadow my disappointment. Why do I have to wait until next night? How unfair.

It is next night, but dark Santa still hasn't brought my present and I'm not cool with that. Not cool at all. I tried summoning dark Santa, first via my dimension device, then via a pentagram I drew on the floor, but I couldn't reach dark Santa. Maybe it's because I had no animal to sacrifice.  
No success without sacrifice, that's a golden rule. Wait, but what if I combine the two methods of using my dimension device and of using dark magic to reach out to the dark one? I immediately open my laptop to try. After sending the dark one an email filled with Latin gibberish, I read the gibberish written to summon me. Well, the mighty me isn't so easy to- dolphin prince wrote me? Or his office? No, wait, since when can rooms summon demons? Either way, my fetish is your command, dolphin prince. But geez, it's hard being popular. Everyone wants something from me.  
I happily hop to the armoire looking for my armor, but it's not there?  
"Rainbow?!", I yell.  
"Yes, master?"  
"Where's my uniform?", I ask her accusingly.  
"Which one?"  
"The magical one."  
"Oh… I, I didn, I didn't clean it yet, I… I was occupied with the task that you gave me, so I forgot…", rainbow mumbles in reply.  
Sounds like a cheap excuse. How rude. I deserve expensive excuses!  
"You forgot?! Wait, what task?" I totally forgot…  
"The one about that guy? You told me to investigate him…"  
"Oh, that guy!" Doesn't ring a bell…  
"Why did I give you the task again?", I ask her.  
"I don't know?"  
"Well, wasn't it your job to find out? To summarize, not only did you forget to clean my armor, you even failed the task I gave you?", I question rainbow annoyed.  
"Ye- No… I… Oh, I found his love! You like love stories, don't you master?"  
Slander!  
"No, I don't. I like predatory stories, about predators, who stalk their prey until it suffers from Stockholm Syndrome. Big difference!"  
My pet looks down, dejected and ashamed, as she should be, for suggesting I'm into romance.  
"Alright, entertain me with that little love story.", I concede nonetheless, pleased by her trembling appearance. It's ok to indulge your pet once in a while. "Yes!" Rainbow cheerfully leaves to return with pictures in her hands a moment later.  
I take them and start browsing through them half-heartedly. After taking a closer look, I recognize the man in the pictures as that ugly pet that sells second hands. I pause at a certain picture. Ugly pet is flirting with a babydoll in it. That babydoll looks familiar, where have I seen her before? …!  
"Pffft hHahahahaHAhaha. Oh, that's funny. Hahahha. So funny. Good job, rainbow. Here, have a bite." I bare my neck for her and softly scratch it, thereby drawing a little blood as reward for her. She gasps in gratitude and obediently leans forward to lightly lick my liquor.  
"I've been wondering before, who would keep such a repulsive pet, such a contrast to the beautiful you. Now I have a hunch who it could be, but… I need evidence. For those blinded by rationality. Be a dear and bring me the ownership certificate of him, yes?", I gently ask rainbow, while guiding her chin away from my neck and deeply looking into her eyes. My gaze drops and stops at the drop of my blood left on her lips and I softly wipe it off her lips with my forefinger.  
"I… I don't know how, master.", rainbow confesses crestfallen.  
While licking my blood from my finger, I reconsider how to best deal with this issue. I was a bit too enthusiastic now. Rainbow is a useful pet, but maybe not for that kind of use. Given the ugliness of that pet, his owner shouldn't easily appear in front of him. Which means special measures must be taken to find his owner. Since that's the case, I better take care of the task myself, though I'm reluctant to accept yet another quest. My gaze returns to her teary-eyed face. "Alright, just forget it. A cobbler should stick to his last. Also, my armor needs to be polished." I further instruct rainbow on how to do the household chores for me and tell her to inform me once a dark mage pops up with my blood, before leaving for the quest my dear prince gave me.

* * *

 _Author's note:_ I wonder how obvious it is, who babydoll is. As the author, I can only guess how strong the hints I give are... The chapter is a bit short, but I didn't want to end on a cliff hanger, since I take too long to write and I hate cliff hangers anyways.


	26. Crafter of nightmares

**Chapter 23: Crafter of nightmares**

* * *

Dolphy wants me to tour some abandoned factory and check if it has resumed production. He worries that they're producing cannon fodder again, which could threaten the cannon fodder market. With more cannon fodder available, the value of cannon fodder would naturally fall, that's something even mortal-me understood.  
Well, mortal-me was boring through and through, so naturally she had acquired a lot of knowledge about markets, and prices, and… Huh, oh no. Nearly fell asleep.  
Anyways, as a cannon fodder producer, Dolphy is none too pleased with gaining more competition.  
His message didn't explicitly say any of that, but in the end apart from the stock market, what else could move the heart of an unfeeling Ventrue?  
 _Some nightmares are also cause for concern.  
_ Nightmares? Foolish voice, do you think my kind has nightmares? No, no, no. We are the nightmare! What could possibly frighten a badass-vampire like us? Well? No answer? Thought so. Anyways, as mentioned before, I'm really a fan of abandoned places. What I like about this abandoned place in particular, are those strange metal monstrosities scattered around. In anticipation of this trip, I researched about its past and though I'm not a historian or an archeologist, I did manage to find out quite a bit about this ancient place. According to my research, this factory had the nickname 'cookie dough', which is a cute as hell nickname to have. Furthermore, if my educated guess is right, those metal monstrosities were used to produce the cannon fodder. But the exact function of each of those metal monstrosities remains unknown. How deliciously mysterious! … I wonder if I can turn them on? Or will that set a trap in motion? Those ancient places are known to be littered with traps. Aw, fuck it. The temptation is too great. No risk, no fun. But how to turn these monstrosities on?  
"Uh yeah, call me daddy!", I whisper seductively, while gently slapping one of the monstrosities.  
Nothing happens… Maybe if I press this green button? Still, nothing happens…

Well, those monstrosities have been sleeping for such a long time, maybe they need a little shock to wake up? After searching the factory hall, I find a lever with a thunderbolt drawn above. My extensive research taught me, that those thunderbolt levers in ancient factories are used to summon thunder, which is exactly what I've been looking for. Turning the lever, lightning flashes through the factory, bathing it in light. Full of anticipation, I jump to the closest monstrosity, and after pressing its green button, it indeed starts to rattle. I cheerfully clap my hands like a laughing maniac, as I curiously watch what the metal monstrosity will produce.  
After a bit of rattling, the metal monstrosity spits out a truly hideous thing. I thought the second hand ghoul was ugly, but damn, this creature! Basically, it's just a head with arms attached to it, but somehow it looks really disgusting. So, that is what cannon fodder looks like, huh? Thank Caine I'm not some foolish cannon fodder… Suddenly that walking deformedness turns its head to me and I quickly grab my Hearto. Maybe, I should cure its ugliness with my magic staff? Normally, I'm disinclined to do good deeds, but… Suddenly that creature jumps at me, and out of reflex, I immediately swing Hearto at it. Yuck. That thing better stays the hell away from me! What, still jumping me? You want to play baseball, hm? Alright, I happen to be a great batter! …Oh Caine, more cannon fodder. Dolphy's hunch was right, this factory has resumed production. I tighten my grip on Hearto, as I eye the cannon fodder surrounding me. Dammit. I don't want to play with them, they're too ugly! But unfortunately, cannon fodder apparently lack the self-reflection needed to realize that they're just lowly cannon fodder, as they dare to pressure me into playing baseball with them. Selfless as I am, I bat and bash them away, but playing with so many at the same time is tedious. _The nightmare arrives._ Ah, nearly missed one. Seriously though, what are their heads made of? Kine heads would already be puddles after so many hits of Heart- huh?  
Suddenly coldness spreads from my chest, freezing my movements. Staked? I was… staked? That, uh, that's probably not good…  
"Just a little fledgling? I expected more, truly disappointing. Is the prince not taking me seriously, hm? Or maybe… he just wanted to get rid of his little agent?"  
A … person? Creature? appears from behind me, taunting me with its melodic voice. The androgynous youth in front of me looks like a deranged version of an angel, its formerly white robes drenched in blood and its wings… Those wings aren't real wings, but just another pair of arms protruding from its back, with bones sprouting from them instead of feathers. I doubt it can fly with those.  
"But just getting rid of you, would be such a waste, wouldn't it? Hm… yes. I think you'll make a fine canvas.", it says, while smiling eerily like a villain.  
I don't particular like where this is going… Not that I can object though, since my TRAITOR body is still frozen. It's long fingers stroke over my face, creepily-carefully closing my eyes. Great. Now, I can't see! Fuck you, traitor body. Once your betrayal ends, I'll make sure to teach you your wrongs! Two hands push me, and I fall on what is hopefully not a train made of cannon fodder. Yeah, it's definitely not a cannon fodder train. It's not. I'm not laying on those ugly things. Lalalala, I'm not, lalalalala!

A long and raggedly ride later, I'm lifted up and pressed against a wall, with wet hands grabbing my wrists and ankles. The stake is removed from my chest and my body slowly thaws.  
"That's better, isn't it? Now we can communicate, little canvas.", the creature says in its disgustingly soft voice. It's a villain, isn't it? I wasn't sure before, whether it's male or female, but now I know it's a villain. After all, only villains like to talk to their prey. What a relief. After all, villains always hold stupid monologues and tell their prey all it needs to know, before leaving them alone and giving them a chance to escape. …Villains are actually suicidal, aren't they?  
Now that my eyes have been opened, I can take a closer look at the villainous face of this weirdo. Hm, a crown made from skeleton fingers sprouting from its forehead and too many eyes, making direct eye contact with it kind of impossible… I see, this villain is an endboss-type of villain. Anyways, what's up with all those eyes always staring at me? Is it because I'm a pretty cheerleader? Two eyes are not enough to gaze at me? As my gaze wanders down, I notice that its feet are also messed up. They're a weird mixture of human feet with hooves underneath, making it appear as though the human feet would be hovering in the air. All things considered, something definitely went wrong during the evolution of its kind.  
"We could do even more, if you'd unshackle me.", I reply suggestively to its prior question, causing it to chuckle.  
"Your kind does have a sense of humor. No, I just want to talk a bit with my canvas."  
"Just some small talk is all it wants from me? Ok, then I'll give you the smallest of talks! So… uhm… Who designed this cute little torture chamber, and can I hire them?", I ask it unabashed. I like the bloody theme of this room, it fits. Finally, a kindred that gets it! This is how a proper vampire lair is supposed to look like, I mean, even my shackles are made of bloody hands. What more could one possibly want from a vampire lair? Though, admittedly I'm a bit pissed off about the sturdiness of these shackles.  
 _Bitey, bitey, baby._  
"You like it? It's my own creation.", it replies while proudly raising its chin.  
Wait, the way it acts all haughty for no reason, and how it keeps calling me canvas… Oh no. An artist? Again?! Caine dammit, I hate art.  
"… And what's the name of this 'artist'?", I ask unenthusiastically.  
"Angel." Angel? Really? Ugh, how tacky.  
"This body…", I gaze at it from top to bottom, "is also a creation of yours?"  
"WUuhWUhwuh!"  
"Of course.", it replies proudly. Ugh, those artists.  
"So, of all the things you could've become, you _chose_ to become an aesthetically challenged angel-rip-off?", I ask it incredulously.  
 _HAhaHAHHa, good one.  
_ Argh, SON OF A SUN! My painfully twisting intestines tell me, that it did NOT take my question well.  
"Careful, canvas. I used decades to craft this body to perfection." Well, that just sounds like a waste of decades to me. "Not that I expect someone like you to get it.", it adds snobbishly.  
 _Pride precedes the fall.  
_ Oh my Caine, the self-importance! No, it's not that I'm not 'getting' it, it's your 'art' that is trash!  
"WAHWAhwAH!"  
"Now then…", the torturing body convulsions of mine dwindle, "Let's start the creative process of turning your body into a piece of art, shall we?"  
We shall not. I'm already a piece of art, you fraud.  
"I've been thinking- hear me out- but how about… a tentacle skirt, hm?", it says, ignoring the sounds of a crying baby coming from somewhere inside here.  
Wait, maybe it's coming from inside me? Really, guys? Can't you see I'm a bit occupied right now?  
"How about no.", I reply.  
 _Whawawawa!_  
"Hahaha, silly little canvas. I'm the artist, you're the mold. You don't really get a saying in this."  
"Then riddle me this: Why bother asking me, huh?", I retort.  
"Oh no, you misunderstood. This is all part of the creative progress. You see, a true artist needs to communicate with his art."  
 _WAhwhawahwa_  
Can someone PLEASE shut the baby up already? Guys? Gosh, taking care of all those voices is so annoying sometimes. Now, where were we?  
"… Can you at least stay away from my face? Empress happens to be very fond of it."  
"Your face? Ah yes, I will sew your eyelids together, so that you'll have to cut them open again and again, whenever you'd want to see something. It's a metaphor for how difficult it is, to open your eyes to the truth.", it replies enthusiastically. It's even more difficult to listen to this senseless gibberish. Anyways, I tried. Sorry, empress. No reply? She must be pouting.  
"But first things first.", it says, as it rips off my skirt, while gesturing the cannon fodder standing at the edge of the room to come closer. The cannon fodder is balancing a box on its head and while approaching, the content of the box is revealed: entrails, appendages and other bloody body parts, that are also dripping with other bodily fluids. Ugh, disgusting waste of blood. My angelic artist bends down and picks a slimy tentacle from the box and holds it against my hip with an artsy, critical look. Ugh, I don't want this disgusting stuff anywhere near me…  
"Uhm… so… tentacle skirt, huh? Doesn't seem very original to me. Bet it's been done before, in a hentai or something. Aren't you afraid of being accused of plagiarism?" Angel-rip-off's gaze flicks away from my hips and its obviously displeased eyes meet mine.  
"Unless, you actually like mice and milk?", I taunt it further.  
That's right, I called it a cat! Everyone knows, that being called a cat is the biggest insult for an artist.  
"Certain… elements may have been used before, but my interpretation is original and creative through and through!", it angrily spats out, while sending another wave of convulsing agony through my body.  
"Yeah… keep… telling… that… to your-.. self!", I mock it, while enduring the excruciating twisting and twitching of my organs.  
"You'll see for yourself, once I'm finished with you.", it retorts through gritted teeth, before thrusting a tentacle INTO MY FUCKING HIP! HOW?! How is it able to stab me with that?! Argh, son of a sun, that hurts disgustingly.  
 _Bwahahaha. Now you're the hentai one.  
_ SHUT THE FUCK UP!  
Another wave of sharp pain assaults my hips, as a second tentacle is thrust into it and the angelic artist steps back, to take a critical look at its work. Suddenly, a crashing sound erupts, even causing my torture chamber to shake my torture chamber ever so lightly. The deranged angel's many eyes narrow, and it stumps towards the exit. What? Don't tell me… Is this the part where the villain idiotically leaves the spy alone for some stupid reason, giving them a chance to escape their deadly trap? Without even staking me? As expected of a villain.

Anyways, now's the time to get the hell out of here. I give my shackles a good rattle, but they won't budge. Hm… Wait! That… that thing on my hip… It twitched! Which means, it can move. Maybe I can move them? Maybe my new body additions can prove themselves useful? I wiggle my freshly-hatched attachments, but they're too short to reach the hands holding my arms and feet. But at least I can wiggle them, I guess?  
 _WaahWahWhuwuwuwu_  
Oh my fuckin- Attention shittongues! Didn't I tell you to SHUT THE FUCKING BABY UP? Then why is it still crying, huh? Don't tell me you're so useless, you don't even know how to silence a defenseless baby?! I don't know if anyone of you noticed, but I'm kind of a teeny tiny bit occupied right now, with saving our ASS from that mad art-…?  
The appearance of …something… crawling from behind the cow-corpse-couch interrupts my rant. …This one… A rotten baby? And it's winged as well, huh…  
Uhm… So… Yeah. I guess the crying was not just in my head. Sorry guys, you know I didn't mean it 3.  
"My, aren't you a cute little thing.", I remark sarcastically.  
"WHAH!", it replies, baring its sharp fangs. Oh my, someone forgot to feed the baby. Just my luck.  
"Handy hands – they're finger lickin' good!", I advertise with the voice of an overly-enthusiastic salesman.  
"WHU!", it growls, as it lunges at me. A rotten stench fills my nose, as it claws and crawls up on my body and I hold myself back from shaking this disgusting little cherub off of me. While the cherub gnaws on the hands holding me, I ponder over the question what's more nauseating: this pale and rotten cherub-imitation, or a real cherub. Real cherubs smell better, but they have this obnoxious sunny aura. Hm… Augh son of a sun "Not those hands, they're bad for you!", I scold the rotten cherub motherly, while flinging it away. It growls angrily in response, but obediently crawls back to my feet and continues gnawing on those hands nonetheless. "Good… ugh.. cherub.", I praise it reluctantly, while using one hand to free the other. Ugh, being a mother is so annoying. With my legs freed, I first kick the cherub away and then nail it on the ground with on leg, before bashing its head in with my foot.

Being freed, my next mission is to find Hearto. Definitely not leaving without him. Now, where would I leave such a masterpiece, if I were a mad artist? A vault! Definitely a vault. It's a villain after all. And vaults prefer to sleep underneath the earth, just like their cousins: coffins.  
Stepping outside my torture chamber, I find myself in a hallway filled with more dead-but-moving baby-creatures. Ugh, where did all of those come from? I'm not proud of it, but… let's step dance towards the staircase. FUU- damn those heads a brittle. Note to myself: remove bone splinters from feet. But that has to wait for now. I must admit, the interior of this villain's lair is really something else with its fleshy walls, bloody floors and carcass-furnishing and everything. And those eyes stuck everywhere and following my every move? Yeah, they creep me out. I'm starting to hate being the center of attention all the time.  
Nearing the staircase, I crouch down to obfuscate just in case, but it's just not working for some reason. Dammit. Oh well, whatever, just continue without obfuscation – or so I would like to say, but there are too many things crawling around here! I'd really prefer to obfuscate, ok?! I mean, the baby-creatures were particular disgusting, but at least easy to deal with. Those fat blobs, on the other hand… Sunshine, why did my obfuscation fail? Alright, just run for it. …SON OF A SUN! THEY CAN BARF? DISGUSTING! And why are they chasing me now? "Fuck, I'm not even tasty! You're the fatty piece of meat, why aren't you trying to eat yourselves!", I yell in frustration.  
A gargle noise resounds from behind me, and a quick glance behind shows me, that they indeed started to gobble each other up. Yuck, what a disgusting sight. Passing around the corner, I crouch down behind a bone-cupboard and try to obfuscate again. Success! Wait! Why? Whatever. So long as I don't have to flee anymore. After carefully searching for a while, I end up in a room full of stuff, that doesn't seem to belong to the deranged angel. A pink purse, black sneakers, a pocketwatch… hm… I can hear Hearto calling for me. He is in here, somewhere. My gaze falls onto a long chest standing in the corner. Jackpot? After fumbling with the crappy lock for a while and some violent persuasion, I finally manage to break it open. And there it is, my heart's treasure! With loving fingers, I softly take my dear Hearto out of the chest. "I missed you!", I softly whisper to Hearto, before grabbing it tighter. Time to leave.

Now that I have my Hearto back, I feel more assured facing those creatures. Especially the cannon fodder, I can repaint the walls with them now. I complimented the interior of this lair before, but now that I think about it, it can really use a new paint job. Especially this room. Though no, a new paint job is not going to be enough for _this_ room. I mean, talk about bad taste in art… I take a closer look at the painting hammered to the wall next to me. Is that… still aliv- uhm, I mean, undead? Or is it dead-dead?  
Well, not my business what other beings like to do. I'm not some pretentious snob, who would deny bad art its existence after all. Though I must say, I don't understand how anyone would want to just hang around and look hideous. Daddy also turned me into art once, didn't he? Though I'd rather not remember that. Moving along… More cannon fodder obstructing my path? Oh come on, I already played so much baseball with all of you, you still haven't had enough? _It's coming._ Alright, I do a roll over the cannon fodder shooting for me, turn around, aaaaand I see the angelic artist standing about 5 meters away with a stake for my heart in its hands. "Ahhhh…. Sunshine.", I swear, while painting the wall with the yet-again-shooting cannon fodder.  
"Naughty little canvas, couldn't wait to enter my gallery, huh?", the angelic artist remarks, sounding really pissed off for some reason, as it approaches me without hurry. While nonchalantly retreating a few steps, the sound of clattering wood draws the attention to my feet. Huh. A stake. Where did it…? Ohhh. Bad tentacles. Bad, bad tentacles!  
 _And again, the villain shoots itself in the foot. It can't help it, it's simply part of its nature.  
_ Putting on my serious face, I divert its attention by adding more insult to the injury, "Seriously though, with your desperate lack of talent, there's only one way to fame for you: the good old van Gogh-trick!"  
Enlightment flickers through the angel's many eyes, as the stake meant for my heart is thrust into one of its own eye sockets. Yeah, I'm also surprised how the truth in my words pierces through even the most shielded ears. The deranged angel growls in anger, as it suddenly dashes towards me, without any sign of the former tranquility, but with its sharp claws aiming for my face- not my face! Empress is very fond of it! I dodge to the side, successfully evading at first, but I didn't expect it to be able to turn its winged claws that way… Razorsharp nails tear through my cheek, leaving it in tatters. Damn, I should've known that it won't have normal joints. I swing Hearto towards it, but it catches Hearto with ease. Pulling Hearto behind it, it grabs my throat and lifts me in the air, as its sharp nails pierce through the soft flesh of my neck. My muscles forcefully contract, keeping my body from moving to my will, as my organs start to twist and tumble, like the clothes in a washing machine. This trick again? Enduring the angelic anguish, I obediently play the role of the mesmerizing bait, keeping the attention of the deranged angel on myself.  
"I must admit, you surprised me, little canvas. As a thank you, I'll dedicate extra time for your creation.", it angrily threatens me, as its other winged arm bends unnaturally, grabbing the stake still stuck in its eye socket. Nonononono, just wait for a sec!  
Only for a moment, my angelic attacker seems distracted and my muscle spasms abate. However, that short moment is enough for me, or rather, enough for the art.  
Yes, as it turns out, art also needs to be fed regularly. With its many eyes focused on me, the angelic artist had failed to notice a rather important detail: this gallery is not as boorishly static as it used to be. Turns out that the art was not dead-dead, but undead. And hungry! Oh so hungry!  
"What!" While the angelic artist is distracted with shaking the leeching mess of meat off its back, I yank Hearto back and kick myself out of its grasp. Though my maneuver left my neck tattered trendily like teen-jeans, I'm freed now, while the deranged angel is the one hold hostage by hands.  
Oh how the tables turned. I'd like to show it what kind of pain it had caused me, but I have a feeling its art is better at expressing such feelings than my humble self. Now, exit, exit, exit… - That's the last thought I have, before everything is bathed in red.

* * *

 _author's note:_  
I hope the part in the gallery was understandable. I didn't want to slow the tempo down with explanations and MC is an unreliable narrator anyways, but I hope it's easy to piece together what happened. It should be, but then again, I'm the author, so of course I know what I was trying to portray.


	27. Aftermath of a nightmare

**Chapter 24: Aftermath of a nightmare**

* * *

What, where? Oh. Bee is NOT going to like that. My bad.  
 _You, you, you killed him!  
_ But I was starving. I couldn't help it. Don't be so stingy, Bee.  
 _YOU'RE A MONSTER!  
_ I WAS STARVING!  
 _YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO KILL HIM!  
_ I didn't MEAN to kill him, I just… couldn't stop myself. I, no, WE have no time for this. Nights running out, the sun will be up soon. I have a corpse to dispose of and need to find a hideout, before the sun spots me. Gosh, I hate the sun. Fuck you sun. And fuck you… Ray Johnson, for dying of blood loss. Really didn't mean to kill you. But dammit, I'm still peckish. Wait, Ray… like sunrays? You kind of had it coming with that name, just saying.  
 _How can you still be so nonchalant?  
_ Hello? I'm a big bad vampire?! Anyways, back to the task. First, I'll borrow your jacket, Ray. You don't mind, right? A gentleman ought to help a lady hide her tentacles after all. Well, it doesn't make a good skirt, but it'll do for now. Next, I drape Ray's arm over my shoulder and holster him up. Alrighty. I'm ready to go. But go where? I have no idea where I am. No, wait. I have some idea where I am, this looks familiar. Somewhere close to the cookie dough factory. …After what happened, I don't want to venture into another ruin for now. I found a bundle of keys in Ray's pocket, when I was searching for his, I mean my wallet, maybe I can use that. One of them looked suspiciously like a car key. You're so useful, Ray. Here, let me give you a cheeky kiss on the cheek. Now, where would I sleep, if I was a car… I stagger towards the parking lot not too far away, while singing drunken ever-greens, such as 'My baby and my beer on the pier' or 'Ten naked grandmas'. From the three cars parking on the lot, the third turns out to be mine. To my disappointment, it's the kind where you'll never need a car alarm, because no one would try to steal this as a car disguised wrack. It's too close to sunrise for cruising to my hide-out, but the trunk looks…cozy. Well, cozy enough, especially with my body pillow. You're surprisingly useful, Ray.

Dammit. They're back. Looks like I can use my hips as a tentacle farm now. If only my other body parts were equally fast in production. So unfair. I hesitate, then reach for the kitchen knife. "Not again… Stop cutting yourself! They'll just grow back!", rainbow admonishes me. "Yeah, no, I… I know.", I reply, lowering the knife. "Then why are you holding the kitchen knife again?", she questions me. When have our roles changed so much? What happened?! "I'm… making food." "Food?" Rainbow looks at me doubtfully. "Yeah, food. Ghoul food. For you. Because I love you.", I improvise an excuse. "…What kind?" "Takoyaki!", I reply gleefully, lifting the knife again. "NO!" Rainbow sighs. "Please… I'm sure we'll find a way somehow. Just, stop hurting yourself, pretty please?" "How pretty?", I ask her unconvinced. "Pretty like a fairy with a bow tie." "Alright." I put the kitchen knife away. "I've got a task for you.", I nonchalantly change the topic. "Yes?" "A magic trick. You need to make a car disappear for me. And take not to let the bulls bite, when you do.", I instruct her. "Got it. Which car?" "The one waiting below for you. The ray-full one.", I explain, while searching for my damn keys. "Nope, can't find them. Just use your master key."

I head out to the place where chaos gathers, to sort out my messy thoughts before getting my reward. As expected, the laughing one is yet again here as well.  
"Do you have a drinking problem or something?", I ask him. He practically un-lives here.  
"Hehe, if it isn't the missing case everyone's yapping their mouths about lately." The laughing one creepily inspects me. "Rumors can't be trusted, eh? You look fine to me."  
"…Ay.", I reply shyly. Oh my Caine, the laughing one is interested in me?! … I'm not into pirates though. Also, he just admitted to having a drinking problem by changing the topic."So, what have you been up t- the fuck?!" The laughing one steps back and stares at the cheeky-sneaky tentacle poking out from my skirt.  
"Bad tentacle! Bad, bad tentacle! No stealing!", I angrily admonish my attachment. "So… that happened.", I turn to the laughing one, who's still keeping a respectful distance to myself. "Yikes. A Tzimisce? Fuck, those guys are creepy."  
"Yeah, tell me about it. I just played Dora the Explorer for a bit. I expected to find some horrors, but I got a bit more than I bargained for. Does the laughing one have clues on how to sell off those new assets of mine? Me and myself aren't really fond of this new look."  
"Sorry kiddo, not my expertise. You should ask around though, maybe someone knows someone that could help you with that. Keep in mind that it's gonna cost you though. Our kind doesn't do 'charity' after all.", the laughing one advises me. "But hey, cheer up. Could've been worse."  
I intently stare at the laughing one, while wiggling both of my tentacles like a dancing cthulhu.  
"Eh, they could've started with your face.", the laughing one shrugs.  
"OH, the HORRORS! Don't give me such head-cinema, laughing one!", I scold him, while trying to scratch the images out of my head.  
"So, how exactly did you end up like that?", the laughing one asks me curiously.  
"The laughing one wants to press my replay-button? I went Dora-the-exploring the horrors of corporate America. Believe me, you do NOT want to know how cookies are made. It's disgusting."  
"Yeah, yeah, I mean, why go there in the first place? Where did you go anyways? Who sent you?"  
"Laughing one… you're so gossipy. Also, I already told you. I went to the district where joy slowly decays, the industrial district. More precisely to where the girlscout-mafia produces their hot stuff. I don't fear them, I'm part of the scene, hence I was trusted with this royal mission. And also, because I'm the only not-a-NPC ar -"  
"Yeah, great, anyways, royal mission? So the prince really sent you?", the laughing one interrupts my rant rudely.  
 _A crown fits more than just one head._ I know, right?  
"Something wrong?", I ask confused.  
"Word on the street is, the prince rid himself of a headache, by sending a neonate straight into a Sabbat nest. And since no one had seen you the last couple nights… Some guessed that you were that rumored annoyance."  
"I? Annoying? … No way, I'm too pretty to be annoying."  
"…" THE SILENCE! WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!  
"Anyways, why would the prince want to get rid of me? I'm way too useful to waste!"  
The laughing one shrugs. "Rumors didn't say, that's all I know. Look, I'm just telling you, because you seem alright. For a fence-sitter at least. If the prince is really out for your head, we can help you lay low for a while."  
"Much appreciated. But I don't think I displeased his mighty Dolphy-ness. Something smells fishy…"  
"Well, I warned you. You do what you gotta do. Just know, that if shit goes down, it won't be too late to take a stance. Gotta fight for something at some point."  
"Oh, we're going to fight, alright. Just not for dirty politics, only for petty revenge and attention. Toodeloo."

Once I step outside, my dimension device sings.  
"You're speaking to LamaFun Fundation, the largest foundation for Lamafun, how may I help you?"  
"Uhm, here's- here's the Bonky the, uhm, the Wonky's personal assistant, I'm, uhm, calling about that magic trick you ordered?"  
I sigh. "You ruined it. Don't stutter, you need to exude unfounded confidence if you want to succeed.", I remind rainbow.  
"Sorry… I'll practice! Anyways, about that car…"  
"Yes?"  
"Well… What car? I couldn't find it?"  
"So… You're just calling to tell me you finished your mission?", I ask her.  
"Well, uhm, no?"  
"Is there, or is there not a car?", I question her slightly annoyed.  
"There- uhm, there is no car, but-"  
"Alright, good talk.", I hang up, just to receive yet another call. "Greet-"  
"Yes, good evening Adeline."  
"Dark mage!", I squeak happily. Oh my Caine! "I missed you!", I blurt out.  
"Likewise. I've prepared the blood I owe you. Let's meet up in the Empire Arms hotel, I'll hand it to you."  
That likewise sounded awfully perfunctory, but I'll take it. "Oh, I want to, but… There's this teeny-tiny little thing I need to take care of before… But it won't take long, I promise!"  
"Fine. Hm… I take it you're meeting with Mr. Valois?" Who?  
Oh wait, he's talking about Dolphy. "How did you know?"  
"It was just a guess. But how about meeting there then instead?"  
"Alright."  
"Wonderful. Until then."- he hangs up. It's a date! Tonight is really the night. So many rewards waiting for me to collect them…

"Where have you been the last few nights?", Dolphy questions me immediately after entering his fish tank.  
"Running around – for you! – getting caught – for you! – being toyed with – for you!", I reply indignant. After all I went through for him, he's giving me attitude? Ok, maybe not just for him, but he was part of the reason I accepted this mission. Dolphy frowns.  
"Apologies, it was not my intention to question your integrity. However, I haven't sent you on any mission, and yet… There's rumors abound about how I supposedly send you to your final death. This matter is one of treason, it is not to be taken lightly. Now, please report everything about what transpired the last few nights.", he explains oh-so-stately. Wait, something doesn't add up…  
And also-"Is this some kind of trick to avoid repaying me?", I ask him distrustfully.  
"Rest assured, merit will be rewarded. But I need to know what it is, that warrants this reward."  
"Alright, here's the deal…" _  
And so, I told the prince everything. But little did I know, that it would later bite me in the ass.  
_ A new one? Let me tell you, I'm the one in charge, so hush.  
"… And that's how I met Ray. He's a great guy, for a corpse."  
Dolphy frowns again. "I had hoped, those rumors would've been merely a desperate try to undermine my authority. To think there is really a traitor in our midst, in my office no less! I'll make them pay for this, I promise." Has anger clouded your sight, dolphin prince?  
"About those legends woven about me and you…", I ask suggestively.  
"Indeed, finding the source should-"  
"Do we really need to search?", I interrupt my fishy prince amused, causing him to stare at me thoughtfully.  
"You're insinuating that you know who is behind all this. Do you have proof?"  
"I mean… Who else could it be?", I reply confused.  
"As the prince of this city, every action of mine is closely scrutinized by the kindred living here. Those rumors have already sown distrust against me, if I were to act rashly now, at this sensitive junction, chaos is certain to ensure.", Dolphy explains.  
"Yeah, what's up with that anyways? Isn't it normal to send your best agent on dangerous missions?", I ask him confused.  
"Well, I wouldn't call you my best agent… Be that as it may, the act of disposing of someone displeasing by giving them a _challenging_ task is – though admittedly not something uncommon – heavily frowned upon, especially in this city. The kindred of L.A. have a low tolerance for such whimsical behavior, and I pride myself for not indulging in such acts of tyranny. If I were to behave in such an unbecoming way, a lot of kindred might rethink their decision to support my claim. Not to mention that I haven't called for the destruction of this kindred you told me about, as I hadn't known about that kindred before. A member of the Sabbat as powerful as you described in this city is bad news and not waging war on it would be a betrayal to the kindred living here and to the Camarilla as a whole. Now, that we know of this kindred, this war will of course follow. Thankfully, the traitor didn't succeed in disposing of you, otherwise I would be quite in a predicament."  
War? That sounds a bit overdramatic, but ok. "I'm also quite happy about that, since it means that I'm not dead yet.", I comment agreeingly.  
"Yes, that as well of course." Dolphy slightly smirks. "But back to the topic as to who is responsible for all of this. I'm very curious about what you were insinuating."  
Why do I have to spell everything out? Am I the only one here, who loves a good riddle? "I meant the queen, of course. She's a royal, no?"  
"You're talking about Miss Harper, I assume? The queen… Indeed, she used to be one, a long time ago. And she is awfully proud of that." Oh wow, his voice is leaking loathing. "Did she brag to you about that, or is it your… gift, that told you?", Dolphy asks me curiously.  
"A gift. From me, to myself.", I reply.  
"I see. And how did you conclude that she is the one, who sent you on a mission?"  
"… I might have pissed her off a little. And besides, isn't she also the evil-stepmom-type of queen? I heard your relationship with her can't be called cordial as well."  
Dolphy ponderingly looks at me. What does it mean?  
"Indeed, it is no secret that she sees herself as my rival, despite her obvious inadequacies as a leader. She's gifted at drawing people to her side, a skill more suited to a harpy than a prince, and yet she dares to have the high aspirations of becoming prince.", Dolphy mocks. "However, that is not enough to confidently conclude that this is all her doing. Again, I need evidence to prosecute her, lest someone accuses me of being unjust."  
"Don't worry, she's dancing on so many weddings, it's just a matter of time that she'll break a leg.", I comfort Dolphy.  
"Hm, yes, having too many allies can also be a mistake. It is better to swear allegiance to a single cause, as dividing your loyalty between too many will lead you to have no ally at all." What? Why is he looking at me like that? "Well then, you will find an appropriate sum on your bank account, as a show of my gratitude for your scouting.", Dolphy informs me.  
"You better make it a lot. I'm in desperate need for some plastic surgery, and I'm not talking about a little bit of face-ironing here."  
"As for your suspicions concerning Miss Harper-", Dolphy ignores my remark, "I advise you not to go announcing them to other kindred, especially since you have no ironclad proof of the truth of those accusations. Those accusing kindred without evidence don't tend to live long." We're already not alive?  
"Don't beat the grass to scare the snake, I know.", I reply smiling confidently.  
"Good. Remember to report to me, if you find something. Oh, and one more thing"  
"Yes?", I ask curiously.  
"There has been another case of a missing kindred. A Tremere, to be precise. I understand you might be reluctant to help with this, given your recent experiences, but it is because of your incident, that finding him should be your utmost priority right now. There is a high chance that his case is tied to yours after all. You will find the details regarding this case in your mail. Well then, that'll be all." Dolphy gracefully waves me away and I equally gracefully use it to surf away.  
The reward was… disappointing. I was kind of hopping for something more useful than money, like a neat item or an increase in my skill levels or something.

Back in the lobby, my date is already waiting for me. "Do you got my present?", I ask him, giving him no time greet me. He chuckles and hands me a small coffee cup. I dejectedly look at the small container in my hands, then accusingly glare at dark mage. "That's all? After all this waiting?", I ask disappointed.  
"That's not all, rest assured. However, now is not a good time.", he evades my question.  
"What? For what? Why?", I question him, my enthusiasm reignited.  
"I'll explain it later, be patient for now. Just know, there's more to come." Dark mage grins.  
"Why do I always have to be patient?", I grumble to myself, before downing the cup. Delicious! Tucking the cup with its precious last drops away, I turn to dark mage again. "Anyways, what are our plans? I got tons of missions, why don't we go on an adventure together, hm? Just you and me, two buddies, solving riddles, fighting crime?", I invite my favorite dark mage cordially. "Solving riddles, fighting crime?", dark mage asks amused.  
"Our kind gets lost left and right lately. As the hide-and-seek champion, I'm naturally busy due to that."  
"Who went missing?"  
"Don't know. Another Tremere. I'll have to look it up."  
"Not necessary, I can already guess. I failed to persuade Mr. Bennet to return to the chantry, I'm afraid he already skipped town, without informing the chantry. His Sire probably decided to ask the prince for help, given that his whereabouts were unknown for so long."  
Intrigued by dark mage's deduction, I use my dimension device to look up my target. "Wow, you were right. You're so amazing, dark mage.", I praise him. "But why ask the prince so late? Hasn't he been missing for quite a while?", I ask confused.  
"Indeed, but my clan doesn't like kindred of other clans meddling in their business. Furthermore, failing to locate one of our own, doesn't reflect well on our chantry's ability. I don't care about our image as much as others, otherwise I also wouldn't have asked you for help, despite your talent in this."  
"But alas, you're not that stupid.", I dramatically finish his sentence for him. "But… why leave the nest without informing the pack?", I wonder aloud.  
"Apparently, he had some kind of dispute with his Sire, Mr. Strauss. I don't know the specifics, but even if I knew, I couldn't tell you, as this is an internal issue concerning my chantry. I recommend you to stay out of this as well. Nothing good can come from interfering with Tremere business as an outsider.", dark mage advises me.  
Aw, how considerate of him. "Yeah, I got other stuff to do anyways. I'll just do those other missions then. Speaking about Tremere and other missions… I do have a question about your dark gifts, dark one."  
"Yes?"  
"The blood talks to you, yes? Can you coax it into telling it's origin story?"  
Dark mage looks at me questioningly. "You have to be more specific with what you want to know."  
"Let's say I were to want to know who owns a certain ghoul…"  
"There are ways to find that out.", he answers.  
"I see." Good. Good. With this, my next goal is clear. "Do you need my help with that?", dark mage asks me nonchalantly.  
"No, I was just wondering. Like, what else can blood tell you? How talkative is the juice of life? And how can I find out what the soul animal of my blood is? … I'm just very into blood, since I died."  
"As we all are.", dark mage comments with a slight smile.  
"Kindred way of life. So fucking bloody.", I agree with him.  
"Speaking of blood, I heard there's bad-blood between you and the Rizzo family? I happen to know where their headquarters are, we could take care of them together."  
Who? Hm.. Oh, maybe he's talking about that sleaze ball, who caused me quite the headache in the theater? Caine, that feels like it happened an eternity ago.  
"How do you know I had a problem with the mafia? Even I didn't know that!"  
Dark mage seems slightly surprised at my admission for a short moment. "There's been a rumor on the street that they'd be looking to hire an assassin for someone that fit your description. Apparently the last one failed.", he adds with a smirk.  
"To be fair, he totally would have succeeded, if I weren't so immortal.", I admit.  
"Since that's the case, they really deserve what's coming to them.", dark mage comments playfully.  
I grin and follow his lead. My other missions can wait, no?  
A bloodbath with the dark one, this is going to be fun.


	28. Intermission: Thoughts of a prince 2

**Intermission: Thoughts of a prince 2**

* * *

The door closes behind Miss Martel and Valois leans back, massaging his temples. Talking to her for a prolonged time always tests his patience.  
"What do you think?" Valois turns to the sheriff standing in the corner as usual.  
"I suspect that the royal tramp has her hand in this. But I doubt she has any connections to the Sabbat. It's more likely that she simply saw an opportunity to harm your prestige and tried to use it."  
"I agree. Such a pity. If it turns out that she had crossed that line, even her Sire would have to give up on her."  
The sheriff leans closer to the prince. "Still, it's not impossible that it turns out we're wrong on this one.", he comments suggestively.  
"The risk is too high. If it were to backfire…", Valois doesn't finish his sentence. "Besides, our current situation is… delicate."  
"With Miss Martel's reappearance, the rumors have been proven wrong.", the sheriff replies.  
"She survived. That doesn't mean all prior suspicions against my person have been cleared as well.", Valois corrects him. "Furthermore, there's a possibility of it being an elaborate trap, meant to seduce me into heedless retaliation. Additionally, Miss Martel's loyalties are yet unclear, regretfully. At least for now she can only be used, but not trusted as a pawn."  
"It's possible, but do you think it's likely that Martel teamed up with the royal tramp?", the sheriff asks curiously.  
"She doesn't need Martel's loyalty to use her as lure. However…" the prince walks towards the window, to take a look at his kingdom. "Even with this consideration, the incident still appears to be too negligently orchestrated." The prince narrows his eyes. "It doesn't fit her usual style, yet everything still points to her being the culprit of this slander-campaign. We can't exclude the possibility of a hidden third party, but if there is no third party, then I'd really like to know the reason for such rash behavior."  
"Miss Martel mentioned that she had a disagreement with the tramp."  
"Yes. If there truly was one, it would be good to know. Her insight could have given her a glimpse of something she isn't supposed to know. It's a pity she can't be trusted. Though there's no point in listening to her explanations, but observing Miss Martel's next steps might prove worthwhile."  
"I will see to it.", the sheriff replies, tilting his head slightly, before merging into the shadows.


End file.
